I feel helpless

I have been where you are now. I gave up on myself. I was depressed and would tell myself everyday "today I am going to eat right and get to the gym and lose weight". I didnt I would find excuses and blamed others for what I was doing. I went thru an abusive relationship and I became the names he called me, old, fat, lazy, pig. Among other names that are to bad to mention. One day I just had enough and it hit me like a mac truck. I got up waited for him to come home, when he started I told him to pack and go. That gave me "fire" in my *kitten* that I needed. I felt alive and I got in my car went to the YMCA joined and pushed myself to go everyday. And let me tell you I have energy, I have life. And I love being around people who are working on "changing" there lives too. I started out 3 days a week, doing a little here and there. I lost some weight and I liked what I seen. I go now 5 to 6 days a week and when I get discouraged I remind myself of what I was before and what I went thru and it gives me the drive to keep on pushing. You have to just do it, make yourself and dont make excuses. You will feel great trust me. Today I went and played vollyball, and I havent done that in over 25 years. Last year I couldnt ride the exercise bike for more than 10 min. I ride now for 45 min in a fast pace. I started out on the treadmill 2.0 and thought I was going to fall off after 15 min. Now I go on speed of 3.2 or 3.4 for 60 min or more and I can run higher than that. And thats pretty good for a 49 year old who's been thru breast cancer and 17 surgeries in a year. Get motivated find friends that will help with that. Go to the gym you will find plenty of friends that will be by your side. When you get going I promise your going to love it, And when you get to where you think "you just cant do it another day" pick yourself up and say "I got this" and try and keep trying. You can do this!!!!

Chin up girl. I've recently been doing some introspection too, and I came across some great information. If you ever listen to podcasts - check out '8 hour confidence' by Joseph Clough - it's an entirely free podcast with lots of self hypnosis. The best part I got out of it is working through limiting beliefs and self sabotage - these are actually not things in us that are to be hated - they're rooted in self preservation and can be worked through to act in your benefit. Good Luck to you!

Baby steps...take it one min of the day at a time. Seriously, those few mini accomplishments over time will just keep building up!

The biggest step you can take is to stop putting the junk food in your kitchen in the first place, that will help a lot. Just don't bring junk food into your house. Find something else to eat that is real food that won't poison you and bring THAT home. You will feel better when you need to snack and you won't have to struggle with control issues. Second step is if you really really want the junk food, find a way to make it yourself. Do you love brownies? Try a black bean brownie recipe instead of the flour-egg-sugar variety - you can't tell the difference. Cookies? Try using almond or coconut flour instead of the great nutrient void that is enriched white flour. Sandwiches? It only takes a couple hours, mainly of waiting for dough to rise, to make your own loaf of bread. Then you don't have to worry about the additives, preservatives, and massive amounts of sugar that are put into store-bought loaves of bread. When I was lucky enough to live in the "Salad Bowl" of central CA, I could spend $30 a week and have a huge amount of fresh, healthy, and delicious food. Now I'm in the midwest and it is so hard, especially in the dead winter, to find fresh food but I've been digging around and paying extra for REAL food while sacrificing in other areas to avoid falling into a junk food trap again. But back to the first thing I said, the most important step is to stop bringing home junk food at all.

I've been there and not that long ago. I'll I can say is don't give up on yourself, even if you think your failing don't let that stop you from trying again and again. I watched "Hungary For Change" on netflix just before Christmas and have 20lbs since then. I never put my heaviest weight 240 lbs onto my profile.

Somethings from that movie that really popped out at me where.

1. Don't take away from your diet ADD salad, veggies and fruit to every meal.
2. Add omega 3 flax, chia seeds and salmon.
3. Make sure you have lean healthy protein.


I bought the book "The Gabriel Method" by Jon Gabriel he really deals with emotional aspects of weight loss and has a different take. http://www.thegabrielmethod.com/


And I really like the movie Joe Cross made http://www.fatsickandnearlydead.com/

I think you are really brave to be so honest. I'm sure most people here have felt like this, just hang in there and don't give up on yourself. ((Hugs))

I have never related to anyone more on this site. I couldn't tell you how many times I would say "wow this is really it, I can feel it. I'm going to lose the weight this time!" And then failed again, and again...and again. It really made me wonder if it would ever "click" for me too. I understand your fear of hitting a new low in order for it to finally click for you, but that did not happen for me! A month ago I just made one healthy choice. It was a random, normal day, and I decided why not? I will just resist the french fries this one time. So I did. And I was SO proud of myself. I held onto that feeling with all my might, and then I decided to make a good decision for dinner too, just to see how I felt. Of course I felt even MORE proud. Then I just kept going, meal by meal, one meal at a time. I made healthy choice after healthy choice and I hadn't been that proud of myself for a long time. I went strong for about a week and then Valentine's Day rolled around and my boyfriend (who I live with, and has bad eating habits) suggested we have pizza. So I had the pizza. BUT the very next day I woke up and started making healthy decisions again, one meal at a time.

I have binged so many times, knowing what I was doing and how badly I wanted to lose weight, yet still eating all the terrible food for me anyway for whatever reason (just like you!!!) But the reason I have been going strong for a month now is because of that amazing feeling I have knowing that not only am I actually making healthy choices and doing this for real for the first time in my life, but also that it is actually working! I was one of those people who would "try" for two days, not lose weight, and think what's the point and give up. But just by giving it a week I actually lost weight. Now I have lost 8 pounds in a month, and it is just one more thing that keeps me going.

I think the most important thing is if you mess up, do not continue on for the whole day, or two days, and especially not the whole week! Stop yourself and then give yourself a break instead of beating yourself up. One bad day won't ruin your progress, but weeks will definitely throw it off which of course would be super discouraging.

It really is a mental game. I am in a situation like you where I do not really have any friends right now. It is hard when there are so many things going on in your life that are upsetting and hard to deal with, but this is something you can control. It really feels amazing when you do too.

Sorry for the novel! I just had to let you know that you are not alone. I hope I helped at least somewhat. Good luck to you, YOU CAN DO IT!!!

I think everyone who has ever had a significant amount of weight to lose has felt as you do... what changes? No idea. But at some point you'll just do it. It starts with baby steps.

I think what often happens is everyone figures, "If I'm going to have to drastically change everything, I want results immediately." That's totally self-defeating. They'll come on here to MFP, set their goal to lose 2 lbs per week, start working out every day and feel so deprived they binge, quit or whatever.

Here is my advice:

1) Set a small goal to start. Start by aiming for a 1/2 lb weight loss weekly.

2) Track what you are eating. Get a food scale if you don't have one and start weighing and measuring everything. Don't do anything but aim to stay at that daily calorie target +/- 20 or 30 calories.

3) Move a little more.

4) Try and eat some protein every time you eat anything. It will help with moods, satiety and muscle retention while dieting.

5) Aim for the highest fiber options you can find. Again, combine high fiber foods with protein and you'll be full all day.

6) Don't bother with fat-free/sugar-free/taste-free non-foods. Fat is good for you. It helps you feel full.

7) Try and drink mostly water, herbal teas and other decaffeinated, non-alcoholic beverages.

8) Eventually you'll aim to increase your protein intake. Don't try this right away.

9) Eventually aim to add regular weight training for about 45-60 minutes, 3 times/week to your schedule.

10) Take every opportunity to learn your own habits, desires... what makes you tick.

If you do all of the above, in 6 months time you would be down about 15 lbs or so and feeling great. And if you mastered tracking and hitting your calorie target without feeling deprived, you could change your goal to 1 lb lost/week... you'll get 250 calories less than you were with a goal of 1/2 a pound per week, but by the time you do it, you'll be ready to cut them out.

Take it slow. Very few of us got fat overnight. It takes time... there are so many success stories here on MFP. There's no reason why you can't be one of them.