What's the most random thing you've heard a little kid say ?

24

Replies

  • TheLuSir
    TheLuSir Posts: 1,674 Member
    A convo between my son and I (son is 3)

    Me: Jayden, why are your clothes off?
    Him: Because I'm naked mom
    Me: But why are you naked?
    Him: Because I'm sexy and I know it........

    Yup, he's definatly my kid

    Ha!
  • Sballard418
    Sballard418 Posts: 153 Member
    Too many to name with my 4 year old daughter...

    When leaving the gym child care center one time she YELLED

    "AND I DIDN'T LET ANYONE TOUCH MY TUTU!!!!!" I almost died

    (we had been talking about keeping private parts private)

    Me: Daddy is being very cautious because he doesn't want you to get sick

    Zayda: What does Cautious mean?

    Me: Careful

    Zayda: Then why couldn't you just say careful like a normal person :indifferent:
  • Carlyannabelle
    Carlyannabelle Posts: 621 Member
    I said to my 4 year old nephew the other day, "Don't touch that, its yucky." His response was, "Like pig diarrhea in the mouth!" My response was, "Yes, exactly like that."

    OMG!! I literally lol'd!!!
  • BamaBreezeNSaltAire
    BamaBreezeNSaltAire Posts: 966 Member
    We were discussing the birth of our soon to be daughter with our 8 year old son. I told him I threw up and he came out because I had gotten sick while delivering him. He then asked, "Mommy, how did you open your mouth up big enough for me to come out" After hysterical laughter from both his Dad and I, we explained it isn't quite that way but before we could figure out just what to tell an 8 year old followed by his statement of "yeah yeah I know, she comes out of the line, I've seen it on Animal Planet".....

    ANNNNDDD Kids say the darndest things!
  • SALSACHICA1
    SALSACHICA1 Posts: 66 Member
    When my son was 3 I use to pitch to him out in the yard as we lived on a large lot. Well, one day he came up to me and asked "Mom, will you go outside and b*tch to me?" I still crack up thinking about this because it took me about 15 mins to realize he wanted me to pitch to him....
  • jarrettd
    jarrettd Posts: 872 Member
    My 3yr old crawled into my lap, and her elbow landed directly on the Fitbit activity tracker attached to the middle of my bra. She sat up quickly and said "Sorry, Mommy. I didn't mean to bump your Fat-Bit."
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    My mate teaches little kids, about 5 years old, they were teaching about how 'God made everyone completely and totally different and unique' and this little guy said, 'He must have got tired of that then by the time he got to China'...
  • Blacklance36
    Blacklance36 Posts: 755 Member
    "Daddy, Mommy isnt afraid of you"

    This in a Macdonalds bathroom stall on the highway. I can only imagine the conversation that came before it. LOL
  • theferalkat
    theferalkat Posts: 6 Member
    My friend's Daughter to her father, having picked up his can of beer and sniffed it:

    Child: "Daddy, girls shouldn't drink dirty beer."
    Dad: "Why is that?"
    Child: "Because little girls don't have big dirty beards!"

    I laughed for weeks!
  • samairon
    samairon Posts: 46
    I asked my 4 year old how he got his booboo and he said "a ghost did it!". I have to say, I was properly freaked out.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
    Neighbors 9 year old about his new puppy.

    Its okay if she licks HER private parts but its not okay if she licks OUR private parts.

    I almost fell on the floor but I had to remain still and silent because he is the type to get upset at me laughing at him.
  • AbbyCar
    AbbyCar Posts: 198 Member
    My daughter was six and drew a picture of what looked liked Santa, walking on a platform with some sort of fishing pole hanging above him(the line was dangling in front of his face). I said, "Oh is that Santa". "No mom, that's a dwarf on a treadmill". "Oh! Well, what's this thing(pointing to the fishing pole)?" "That's a fishing pole with a sausage on the end. It makes them run faster."
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
    my 6 yr old has had a few lately.....one, my brother in law was talking about quitting his smokeless tobacco habit. My lil one said to him "it would be easy to quit....just don't buy anymore" (she's a smart one..lol)

    also during her first ever Brain Freeze....she yells out, "my brain is freezing, hurry n get me a hot pack"
  • RobfromLakewood
    RobfromLakewood Posts: 684
    When my now 25-year-old niece was 3 or 4, I took her to a petting zoo. She asked if the donkey was growing an extra leg? Maybe not random (as it appeared he was) but had all the adults within ear shot in hysterics.
  • Linli_Anne
    Linli_Anne Posts: 1,360 Member
    Oh I have so many.

    When our daughter was newly potty trained she knocked on the bathroom door while my husband was inside:

    Her: Daddy, are you peeing?
    Him: Yes, I'll be out in a minute.
    Her; Daddy?
    Him: Yes?
    Her: Don't forget to hold it with both hands.


    Again, when our daughter was almost 3, her brother was standing on the dock without a diaper on and she replied: I can see your pee-nuts. PEANUTS.....peanut butter, and jelly.


    My son, at the tender age of 3

    Son: Mommy, I love you.
    Me: I love you too baby.
    Son: Mommy, I love your boobies.
    Me: speechless
  • kaitlink9
    kaitlink9 Posts: 27 Member
    I was babysitting this little almost three year old. We were watching Sleeping Beauty.. She talks to herself on a regualar basis, and while we were watching the movie she goes, "Green strawberries are greeeeeeeeeen... But red strawberries are ready to eat. They are juicy, and tasty and I like them!"
    Cutest. Thing. Ever.
  • sally_jeffswife
    sally_jeffswife Posts: 766 Member
    Just today my 5 yr old wanted to try my kettlebell when I was done doing kettlenetics and she said "Victory is Mine"...I just about died laughing but she was super cute
  • PamelaGatorMom
    PamelaGatorMom Posts: 348 Member
    Son (when he was 8): Momma, why did you had to have surgery (just after my hysterectomy)
    Me: because I wanted you to be my baby forever & and now I won’t have any more
    Son: Mom, I know why your REALLLLLY had the surgery!
    Me: Why?
    Son: You know mom, so you and dad can do that thing y’all like to do without getting pregnant!
    I almost died laughing!
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
    i asked my mom once (in front of a crowd of people in a furniture showroom) what a *kitten* was.

    I asked my mom really loudly in a store what once BSTL meant
  • NKF92879
    NKF92879 Posts: 601 Member
    "You're pretty. I love you." (younger sister of one of my students)
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    I was holding my grandaughter this weekend (3 yrs old). She hugged me and said "I'm gonna squish you like a tater tot."

    That is so sweet!

    My son when he was 4 "Mmmmm, I love rum!!" We were in the liquor store. :frown:

    lol when my son was 2 we walked past an off licence and he pointed at the display and shouted 'wine wine'.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    My son on a late night car ride, out of dead silence says, "China people are weird, they speak Spanish.."

    With his speech though it came out as "china people are weird, they steek stanish."

    No idea where that came from.
  • donnamariewilliams
    donnamariewilliams Posts: 44
    When my son was young, a repairman came to fix our TV. This was back in the 70's when you called a TV repairman. The guy had real long hair tied back in a ponytail. Like I said...back in the 70's. My son kept saying, Mommy what is that lady doing with our TV? As quiet as I could, I told him it was a guy not a lady. He took another look at his hair, and asked again what was the lady doing with the TV. The things that come out of a little one's mouth! :bigsmile:
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
    That he loves his WIFE (him and her are both 4 years old and they say they're married)

    We went to a wedding in August and my son (he was 3 in the June) kept saying 'but I don't want to get married'.

    The other day he was pointing to the church near where we live and telling his sister 'that's where mummy and daddy got married. Maya, do you want to get married. Maya's getting married mummy' (she's 1).

    A few weeks ago he had a little gingerbread man in a café and he pointed at the icing buttons on it and said 'it's got nipples mummy'.
  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    At my sons old daycare center and little 3 or 4 year old was having a grumpy day. A very grumpy day. I walked in to pick up my son as she was trying to get him to come back to the rest of the group (he left fo rsome reason). He yelled at the top of his lungs "F*** YOU!!!!" Entire building heard it, maybe even some folks outside. Ridiculous.
  • pookahbot
    pookahbot Posts: 17 Member
    My daughter and her best friend were in the backseat of the car. They were probably 5 and 6 at the time, and it was near Lent. My daughter (who goes to Catholic school) was talking about her religion class, and asked her friend if they had religion. She replied "No, but we got donuts last Friday!" Best child one-liner of all time.
  • flyingwrite
    flyingwrite Posts: 264
    Overheard in a public restroom: Clapping followed by "Good job, Mommy! You went poo poo in the potty like a big girl!"

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
  • scarywordlikediet
    scarywordlikediet Posts: 91 Member
    My 9 year old boy, when he was 2 1/2, while pushing him in the cart at Walmart, turned down the bra aisle and he started looking around and yelled,

    "WOW, LOOK AT ALL THESE BOOBIES!!!"
  • dj_phx
    dj_phx Posts: 115 Member
    When my niece was about 6 she was playing with her then 3 year old bother and they came out of the room they playing in with my nephew in dressed in her little mermaid dress from Halloween. The best part was she was wearing a shirt that said "I didn't do it". I was lucky I had a camera, some of the cutest pictures I have.
  • KrystalLight03
    KrystalLight03 Posts: 119
    I just thought of some more! This comes from my three year old cousin after he was put in time out for dragging his baby brother around the house...

    (talking to his Elf on the Shelf) "Look, Elf, I know you talk to Santa. I want you to tell him that I'm sorry for what I did, but I can't help it that I want to do bad things sometimes. You can also tell him that Mommy is mean and she deserves dirt for Christmas."

    And this is the same child, while watching his mom setting up a mouse trap in the basement...

    "Mommy, what is going to happen to the mouse when you catch it?"
    "This trap won't hurt him, see? He just goes inside and then Mommy and Daddy will release him out in the woods."
    "Oh...Grandpa said he's gonna turn upside down and never walk again. I think we should get some of those traps."

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