What's the most random thing you've heard a little kid say ?

When I was little I saw a large formed bra and yelled, "LOOK MOM, THAT ONE'S ALREADY GOT THE BOOBS IN IT!!"

We were at a stop sign and my daughter (who was 4 at the time) was in the back seat. The car behind us honked his horn at me and in not so appropriate language I said, "I can't go *#%hole." and from the back seat my daughter says, "Grandpa's behind us?"

I have to wonder what Grandma calls Grandpa while little ears are listening.

My little cousin 3yrs old at the time had his face painted as a dinosaur, 3 days (yes days!) Later he finally let his mum wash it off, ha came running up to me and in the saddest little voice I've ever heard said "im not a dinosaur anymore, I can't eat bugs now"
Ummm bugs? Eeewww! None of us caught him doing THAT!

I'm a preschool teacher and I could write a book! Here are a few favorites.

Music teacher: Halloween is over but we have another holiday coming up. Who can tell me, when do we eat turkey?
4 year old: Only after he's dead!!

Assistant: look at the coupons.
4 year old: My mama wipes her butt with coupons.
Me: what?
4 year old: My mama wipes her but with coupons.
While I'm mulling that over trying to figure out what she could possibly be talking about she stops and thinks for a minute.
4 year old: No, wait. That's TAMPONS!

I had 3 year old with spina bifida. He wore big bulky braces that wrapped around his waist, ran down the outside of his legs, locked at the knees, and hooked into the sides of his shoes. He could walk with a walker with the braces on. He would get so angry when I would change his diaper because he wanted to wear underwear like his brother but was unable to because of the spina bifida. He would scream at me terribly every diaper change. I knew the source of his anger and would just talk to him. One day, he was yelling at me to put his shoes back on, which I did not plan on doing because it was time for nap and he could not sleep in those big bulky braces. He told me to take the shoes off the braces and put them on, RIGHT NOW!! It was very difficult and time consuming to take them apart just to put them back together after nap time. But he continued to scream at me so I said "Give me one good reason to put your shoes on at nap time and I'll do it". He got very close to my face and said in a very quiet voice "What if I dream that I'm running!"
Well, I wiped the tears from my eyes while I unhooked the braces from his shoes and he never had to ask me again to put his shoes on for nap time!

I had a student named Jesus (pronounced hay-Seuss). His bus driver absolutely could not say it so she just called him Jesus (English pronunciation of the son of God). Jesus did not come to school one day and the bus driver was wondering if he had come in late. So she asked another 4 year old in my class if he had seen Jesus today. He said, "No. I haven't been to church since Sunday."

My almost 3 year old just threw the first f word bomb out there to be heard loud and clear, getting excited over a music and dance movie she stood in the middle of the room announcing to the crowd and I quote " this is f*&king crazy"
she is clever and she says a lot of clever things but this one was the recent and most impact-full "event"

Back at the crib...

I had 3 year old with spina bifida. He wore big bulky braces that wrapped around his waist, ran down the outside of his legs, locked at the knees, and hooked into the sides of his shoes. He could walk with a walker with the braces on. He would get so angry when I would change his diaper because he wanted to wear underwear like his brother but was unable to because of the spina bifida. He would scream at me terribly every diaper change. I knew the source of his anger and would just talk to him. One day, he was yelling at me to put his shoes back on, which I did not plan on doing because it was time for nap and he could not sleep in those big bulky braces. He told me to take the shoes off the braces and put them on, RIGHT NOW!! It was very difficult and time consuming to take them apart just to put them back together after nap time. But he continued to scream at me so I said "Give me one good reason to put your shoes on at nap time and I'll do it". He got very close to my face and said in a very quiet voice "What if I dream that I'm running!"
Well, I wiped the tears from my eyes while I unhooked the braces from his shoes and he never had to ask me again to put his shoes on for nap time!

This made me cry. So beautiful!

Christmas morning my 4 year old stood looking quietly at the presents for her under the tree and said to me “Santa brings presents to kids even if dey don’t be good?”

"Great mother goose! It's geniuses!"

My husband and I are laying in bed together the other morning talking and my five year old came in and said I know what daddy wants to do... We said oh really what... He said... HUMP. We died laughing.

From two 11 year olds in the vice principal's office who were trying to beat the system (They wanted to play games on the computers at school as opposed to using them for educational purposes and unfortunately for them, they had previously signed an agreement to this effect.): We've been thwarted!!!

I burst out laughing and that was the end of that conversation! I still tease the two of them when I see them.

My 8 year old boy to my 6 year old boy, who was complaining about having to do his homework. “Ted, if you don’t do your homework, you’ll be the ultimate in dumb. Trust me, you’ll wind up saying all sorts of stupid things like 2 + 2= Sausage.”

My 4 yr old granddaughter as we passed a big field just filled with hundreds of geese "Look! It's a goose adventure!"

As a little one, at 3 years old, I am reported to have gone out to the living room when my mom had a bunch of friends (from church) over and started looking under a chair for a doll repeating "Where the hell is my f***ing *kitten*?!" at least 4 times.