A personal rant

ninerbuff
ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

RANT OVER.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies

  • Hollisss
    Hollisss Posts: 88 Member
    This reminds me of that Plato quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a harder battle.”
    It's very easy to lose perspective when you are focused on one thing (your weight) and you overlook the greater things in your life.

    I'm sending prayers to your friend. Being able to remain positive in times of great challenges is something we all could learn from.
  • aeg176
    aeg176 Posts: 171 Member
    Great rant! It is so easy for people to focus on the little things and miss what is truly important (myself included) My thoughts are with your coworker.
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    You can say that again. In the whole sceme of things, so what if Im a few lbs overweight. I could have been paralyzed and in a wheel chair a half dozen times already. Just lucky to be here after some accidents. For me to whine about a few lbs, and let it ruin my day, seems ridiculous. No matter what the scale may say, just _uckin be happy anyway. Why let it depress me. Just Happy to be breathing. Happy to just have broken ribs and a messed up spine. Could have died in hospital instead. Thats always an alternative. Then there wouldn't be anymore reeses peanut butter cups.. Haaah. And that would be a bad thing. :laugh:
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I'm sorry about your friend. Her story serves as a great reminder of what's really important and puts things into perspective. Blessings to her and to you.
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
    Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
    So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
    GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

    RANT OVER.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I agree in that we all ***** and moan about pathetic and insignificant things all the time...but I would be lying if I didn't think that this post was some Self-righteous ego boasting write. I mean I get that and I feel horribly sad for the women with the rare cancer, but what are you really trying to get out of this post? By you posting and acknowledging that there are people who suffer much more then the other poster who suffers mentally by his or her own weight, are you are somehow saying you are aware and better off then the guy who doesn't state his frustration with his or her own personal struggles? What is really your point here? Aren't you contradicting your own statement simply by being a member of this site? Why aren't you off supporting these people dying rather than supporting people in their fitness journey?
  • Danger2OneSelf
    Danger2OneSelf Posts: 883 Member
    everybody struggles in life...only those who feel inferior to another can state whose battle is more significant to the others..... If she doesn't want a pity party then why are you sending out invites to one for her?
  • I lost my baby boy this past November and since then listening to people ***** about their kids, or how terrible their pregnancy is drives me ****ing crazy. It takes all I have to not rip their heads off. People are so incredibly stupid and need to be grateful for what they have. Whether it be their kids or health. Someone always has it worse.
  • Debbe2
    Debbe2 Posts: 2,071 Member
    Thank you for perspective! I'm very sorry about your friend relapse Joe.

    Now I want to rant about how inappropriate I feel it is for a physician to tell a patient a time line on their life expectancy. I don't get it at all. Why not have compassion and common sense and decency to tell a patient that they should live everyday to the fullest and get their affairs in order because with their health conditions there's no telling how long they have? After all isn't that more honest and true? This bugs me when physicians quote a time frame and it bugs me when a veterinarian does as well. It makes loved ones begin to mourn even though the person, pet etc is still very much alive.

    Enjoy every loved one. Enjoy every day. And enjoy every sunrise and sunset you continue to have. Life is very fragile but life isn't a script and the last page can't be turned to by looking ahead so stop guessing at how many pages are left and don't listen to someone who says they know because its not yet a finished story and the end hasn't been written

    End rant.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    I lost my baby boy this past November and since then listening to people ***** about their kids, or how terrible their pregnancy is drives me ****ing crazy. It takes all I have to not rip their heads off. People are so incredibly stupid and need to be grateful for what they have. Whether it be their kids or health. Someone always has it worse.

    I'm very sorry for your loss. Our time with our loved ones is truly precious. Best wishes to you.:flowerforyou:
  • I lost my baby boy this past November and since then listening to people ***** about their kids, or how terrible their pregnancy is drives me ****ing crazy. It takes all I have to not rip their heads off. People are so incredibly stupid and need to be grateful for what they have. Whether it be their kids or health. Someone always has it worse.

    I'm very sorry for your loss. Our time with our loved ones is truly precious. Best wishes to you.:flowerforyou:

    Thank you very much. Best wishes to you too:-)
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
    So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
    GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

    RANT OVER.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I agree in that we all ***** and moan about pathetic and insignificant things all the time...but I would be lying if I didn't think that this post was some Self-righteous ego boasting write. I mean I get that and I feel horribly sad for the women with the rare cancer, but what are you really trying to get out of this post?
    Venting. That's all.
    By you posting and acknowledging that there are people who suffer much more then the other poster who suffers mentally by his or her own weight, are you are somehow saying you are aware and better off then the guy who doesn't state his frustration with his or her own personal struggles?
    We all go through struggles in life. Some whine about it and some don't.
    What is really your point here?
    That weight loss (unless it's directly affecting one's health) and living up to society's perceived standard are trumped if one's health is in jeopardy. In other words, don't take your health (if you aren't suffering from disease or disabling health issue) for granted.
    Aren't you contradicting your own statement simply by being a member of this site?
    Lol, I'm a member of the site to use it's tools. The forums are my entertainment and way of passing on information.
    Why aren't you off supporting these people dying rather than supporting people in their fitness journey?
    I WORK in a Wellness Center and assist as a trainer for those who need rehab as well as other suffering from obesity, diabetes, etc. Helping these people to get fit, helps them to overcome their health issues. I have a few regular clients as well, but the majority of them are hampered by health issues.

    You'll get it as you get older and actually learn about compassion more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
    So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
    GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

    RANT OVER.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I agree in that we all ***** and moan about pathetic and insignificant things all the time...but I would be lying if I didn't think that this post was some Self-righteous ego boasting write. I mean I get that and I feel horribly sad for the women with the rare cancer, but what are you really trying to get out of this post?
    Venting. That's all.
    By you posting and acknowledging that there are people who suffer much more then the other poster who suffers mentally by his or her own weight, are you are somehow saying you are aware and better off then the guy who doesn't state his frustration with his or her own personal struggles?
    We all go through struggles in life. Some whine about it and some don't.
    What is really your point here?
    That weight loss (unless it's directly affecting one's health) and living up to society's perceived standard are trumped if one's health is in jeopardy. In other words, don't take your health (if you aren't suffering from disease or disabling health issue) for granted.
    Aren't you contradicting your own statement simply by being a member of this site?
    Lol, I'm a member of the site to use it's tools. The forums are my entertainment and way of passing on information.
    Why aren't you off supporting these people dying rather than supporting people in their fitness journey?
    I WORK in a Wellness Center and assist as a trainer for those who need rehab as well as other suffering from obesity, diabetes, etc. Helping these people to get fit, helps them to overcome their health issues. I have a few regular clients as well, but the majority of them are hampered by health issues.

    You'll get it as you get older and actually learn about compassion more.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I think what youre doing for other people is great. There should be more people like you.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    this is the 3rd such reminder i've had this week. point. taken.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    everybody struggles in life...only those who feel inferior to another can state whose battle is more significant to the others..... If she doesn't want a pity party then why are you sending out invites to one for her?
    What invites? My rant is about people who whine about not losing weight or gaining a pound because they somehow did everything right in a week. This would be meaningless to them if their health were jeopardized in any way.
    People here are being thoughtful. No where did I ask for prayers, condolences, etc. They offered comfort because they have compassion. And I think that's pretty cool.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • awake4777
    awake4777 Posts: 190 Member
    There was a time when I didn't want to live anymore so I understand. I am so grateful for life and we could all take a page from your message to be grateful for everything we have. Even weight. We may, one day, need these lbs were trying to lose.
  • vashnic
    vashnic Posts: 93
    Condolences for your gym acquaintance. That must be terrible for her/her family.

    I don't think people complaining about lack of weight loss on a weight loss site devalues any of the 'true' suffering going on in the world. Nobody that I have seen is comparing their personal scale issues to any major traumatic events...? Positive thinking and appreciating what you have is great. Wanting to do better and venting when you don't progress as fast as you hoped seems pretty reasonable as well.
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    I lost my baby boy this past November and since then listening to people ***** about their kids, or how terrible their pregnancy is drives me ****ing crazy. It takes all I have to not rip their heads off. People are so incredibly stupid and need to be grateful for what they have. Whether it be their kids or health. Someone always has it worse.
    Agree. I enjoy everyday of good health and try to make it count by hopefully helping someone else get better.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • MaryB2
    MaryB2 Posts: 331 Member
    You're completely right! I started losing weight and list 17 lbs before getting sick. All the sudden the weight started flying off due to stage 4a cervical cancer. I'd give anything to be back to only fighting my weight.
  • Karabobarra
    Karabobarra Posts: 782 Member
    Love this! That is all!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Condolences for your gym acquaintance. That must be terrible for her/her family.

    I don't think people complaining about lack of weight loss on a weight loss site devalues any of the 'true' suffering going on in the world. Nobody that I have seen is comparing their personal scale issues to any major traumatic events...? Positive thinking and appreciating what you have is great. Wanting to do better and venting when you don't progress as fast as you hoped seems pretty reasonable as well.
    I'm sure that I'll be more receptive about it tomorrow. As a professional, and hearing it everyday, I normally respond with positive feedback. Like those who vent, I'm doing it now because knowing this person and what's she's going through, then reading through the forums and the whining about gaining a pound seems petty in the grand scheme. I'll get over it.
    I know their concerns are important. And I'm sure I'll be on here tomorrow advising how to try to fix it.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,024 Member
    Thank you for perspective! I'm very sorry about your friend relapse Joe.

    Now I want to rant about how inappropriate I feel it is for a physician to tell a patient a time line on their life expectancy. I don't get it at all. Why not have compassion and common sense and decency to tell a patient that they should live everyday to the fullest and get their affairs in order because with their health conditions there's no telling how long they have? After all isn't that more honest and true? This bugs me when physicians quote a time frame and it bugs me when a veterinarian does as well. It makes loved ones begin to mourn even though the person, pet etc is still very much alive.

    Enjoy every loved one. Enjoy every day. And enjoy every sunrise and sunset you continue to have. Life is very fragile but life isn't a script and the last page can't be turned to by looking ahead so stop guessing at how many pages are left and don't listen to someone who says they know because its not yet a finished story and the end hasn't been written

    End rant.
    Agreed. Both my parents were in the medical field and my father (surgical tech) explained to me when I was younger that he didn't get very emotional about losing patients or telling loved ones they lost their father, mother, son, daughter, etc. because if he did it would take a toll on him. I can see that. But words and how they are conveyed do count and for a person that's still living, the way you described is a better way of telling a patient.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I agree 110000%. I lost my youngest brother who was my favorite sibling just a little over 40 days ago due to a sudden cardiac death when he just woke up then again fell back on bed only to find out that he was dead. I'm also at high risk since I'm diabetic and also had episodes of near cardiac death most especially when I was still at my highest weight. We were all surprised at my brother's untimely death since aside from being the youngest of all, he was also athletic like me and nobody ever thought that he would pass out soon at age 24. I saw him the night before he died and he appeared very healthy and in fact even went out with his friends. One of my brothers was very regretful because he didn't treat him that well as a brother but it was too late.

    Sure, we all have some misunderstandings which is very normal with all types of relationships including family. But I feel sad whenever I see or hear somebody kill their parents or cheated a brother. Life is too short and we never know when our time will come. Every second is an opportunity to show our love to one another, grab it while you can coz tomorrow might be too late.

    Losing weight is indeed one of the best things that we can do to our body but being obssessive about it do more harm than good. Health must be our number one priority, aesthetic should only come as an icing on the cake.
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    ^nothing to add. except want to box her for the title of "MujerMasBonitaDeTodoElMundo". I thought it was me? at least that's what I was told? over. and over. and over. LOL!
  • awake4777
    awake4777 Posts: 190 Member
    Before my father passed I was so worried about him. Before his passing (sbout 2 weeks before) he told me to stop worrying. He told me he would let me know when it was time to worry. That was our last conversation we had about him dying. He never told me when to start worrying.

    I just got it. Today, while writing this. Even though I know the doctors don't have the final say I still want to know how long they think my loved or me has.

    Diffferent people want different things. I have 2 sisters who would never want to know. Different strokes.
  • bpotts44
    bpotts44 Posts: 1,066 Member
    Working in a Wellness Center, I get to see the good and bad. Today I saw the bad. A female acquaintance I have there had a conversation with me this morning and it made me sad. She had been in remission for a rare cancer, but after today, doctors don't think her outlook is going to be very good in the next few months. Chances are high that she may pass before the end of the year. At age 38. She's kind, and doesn't want a pity party and tries to be an encouraging inspiration with anyone she meets.
    So where's my rant? It gets monotonous when I get on here and people WHINE about not losing weight or gaining a pound etc. I think of people that have bad health issues, lost a limb, suffered a stroke, etc. and what they wouldn't give to exchange places with someone who's battling a little weight.
    GET OVER IT. Embrace the fact that you don't suffer like some do and take a look around an enjoy the beauty of family and friends. Lots of times we forget that we're a lot luckier than we think we are.

    RANT OVER.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    I agree. The 11 yo daughter of close friends of ours suffered a really bad stroke recently and it puts so much in perspective. HTFU people and stop whining.
  • MeeshyBW
    MeeshyBW Posts: 382 Member
    I agree to an extent however we are on a Fitness and Nutrition forum so talking about 1lbs and ounces is the forums main purpose.

    You are obviously hurting because of your good friend which is understandable and feel the need to "rant", but this forum is support for a lot of people on their weight loss journeys and your rant as you put it, might hurt someone who is really struggling with their weights feelings who use MFP for positive encouragement which they may not get from friends and families.

    I am sorry to hear about your friend and everyone's sad stories of people they know/knew.
  • Lialena
    Lialena Posts: 45 Member
    It all comes down to perspective. I have gone through some really difficult things, some that anyone would agree is hard, and some that others would say i should just get over. But this is easier said then done in some situations, and I've learned that just because I find something difficult does not mean someone else would feel the same, or could see my point of view if I were to express how I felt about it. The same works in reverse, I might not understand their difficulties. Ditto with fears, challenges, joys... We are not the other person, and any feelings that other person has are valid to them. Not being "as bad as ____" doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't find their annoyance of the day annoying. But,, since your feelings are valid too, it's fine that you may not agree.

    I'm retaining water (I'm assuming) and my weight is slightly up from last week and I was a bit tempted to post a rant/whine in my status update. Perfectly valid feelings on my part to be frustrated, but I can understand that others may not share that view. It's certainly not as bad as cancer. It's not as bad as the deaths of my dad and other loved ones, my sister's current illness, when my house caught fire and had to be rebuilt, loosing my job last year, and so on. But today it sucks and it's OK I feel like that, and it's OK that you feel like I should see the bigger picture. :)
  • Nissi51
    Nissi51 Posts: 381 Member
    yes we all need to be grateful for all we have, not just our health!

    It's all relative.... The girl in Africa who won't see her 10th birthday because she will likely starve to death would trade places with your friend who made it to 38, has food and medical care here in North America. We whine about our struggles because we are such a privileged society.

    This IS an appropriate place to "whine" about weight struggles...and use the tools, support others, share information, be amused by the forums . Just the fact that we need the tool shows how privileged we are!

    It's all relative
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Is good to read this. I forget that kind of thing sometimes. Good to be reminded of it.

    Thank you, Ninerbuff. I appreciate you posting this.
  • sunsnstatheart
    sunsnstatheart Posts: 2,544 Member
    Thank you for posting. Waking up to a little perspective is a great way to start the day.