How did I miss the healing process??

Options
Manda86
Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...

I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..

Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--


I forgot to take my pain pills.

for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
*giggle*

Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.

But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-


I can honestly say that I believe...

*takes a deep breath*

I'm going to have a baby someday.

:heart: Manda
«13

Replies

  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    Options
    I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...

    I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..

    Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--


    I forgot to take my pain pills.

    for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

    I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
    *giggle*

    Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.

    But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-


    I can honestly say that I believe...

    *takes a deep breath*

    I'm going to have a baby someday.

    :heart: Manda
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Options
    :happy:


    You are such an amazing person Bear. I am so lucky...
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    Options
    Sorry if I was a mood kill to anyone, I know it's kind of a heavy topic, I'm actually a little embarrassed in retrospect that I went on and on about it... hee hee... I was just feeling so good that I wanted to share it with my MFP fam...

    *hugs*

    :heart: Manda
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    Options
    Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
    They are happy tears but still...stop it!

    You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
    You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
    You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.


    Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    Options
    Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
    They are happy tears but still...stop it!

    You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
    You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
    You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.


    Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:

    hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?

    :laugh:
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Options
    I'll get her whatever she wants. :wink:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    Options
    I'll get her whatever she wants. :wink:


    even ROSA'S?!?!
  • BlazinEmerald
    BlazinEmerald Posts: 842
    Options
    Aww Manda :cry:

    I truly believe that one day when you're ready and God is ready you'll make an amazing mommy :heart:
  • vldowd
    vldowd Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Never give up hope....I have many problems due to severe endometriosis but with the assistance of modern medicine my twins are now 9 years old. I contemplated naming them clomid and pergonal but decided against it.:laugh: Where there is love there is a way:heart:
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    Options
    I contemplated naming them clomid and pergonal

    :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:


    Your girls are beautiful!

    My dad was a twin... they say it skips a generation.. dare I HOPE??? Lol... Two at once *whew* you're a strong lady!
  • sgtinvincible
    sgtinvincible Posts: 2,559
    Options
    :noway:


    Uh Oh.....

    Castor and Pollux....I likes it.....:wink::laugh:
  • Healthier_Me
    Healthier_Me Posts: 5,600 Member
    Options
    Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
    They are happy tears but still...stop it!

    You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
    You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
    You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.


    Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:

    hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?

    :laugh:
    Tami has experience with that:laugh: :sick:
    But, you can call me about anything else:wink:
  • vldowd
    vldowd Posts: 74 Member
    Options
    Twins are definitely an adventure. Best to start off with twins, if I'd had a single first I would have been terrified. If you do end up with twins I'll be here for moral support. :tongue:
  • Smilineyes
    Smilineyes Posts: 346 Member
    Options
    I totally understand! I was told my chances were slim. But since I've been getting healthy I've had regular periods every month since December without any help from medicine!!! I totally believe I'll have kids one day and so will you :smile:
  • Gorgeous
    Gorgeous Posts: 248
    Options
    You will!
    :love:
  • lina1131
    lina1131 Posts: 2,246 Member
    Options
    Don't ever let the doctors or anyone tell you that you won't be able to have kids.

    It will happen for you! :heart:
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Options
    Hey you!

    I know it will happen for you because you will be a great mommy!!!

    HUGS!!!:heart:
    Tam
  • TamTastic
    TamTastic Posts: 19,224 Member
    Options
    Why are you two making me cry so much... What the fudge?!?!
    They are happy tears but still...stop it!

    You are going to be the greatest mommy EVER Manda Panda!
    You are going to be sexy & round & glowing & sending J.. I mean (fill in the blank) to the store late at night for that something which you are craving.
    You are going to enjoy every second of your pregnancy.


    Here's to your health Panda!:drinker:

    hee hee.... thanks, I've got lots of wonderful friends to look up to and get advice from... can I call you when my child poops on something they're not supposed to for the first time?

    :laugh:
    Tami has experience with that:laugh: :sick:
    But, you can call me about anything else:wink:

    Yes, watch out when they are about 17 months old....they might try to poop on your mini stair-stepper (with tread!!) :sick: :sick:

    Good times!!! :wink:
  • iojoi
    iojoi Posts: 378 Member
    Options
    I realized something as I was replying to the mmmm... lobster post...

    I'm planning ahead for kids! I don't think you can even call it hope- it feels completely natural to talk about having babies, and I believe wholeheartedly that it's going to happen..

    Founding out that I was infertile broke my heart. I have never felt like more of a complete waste of space. I always knew I wanted kids, I came from a big family (6 kids, all biological brothers and sisters), but I didn't know how DESPERATELY I wanted to be a mommy until it was snatched away from me. The doctor I went to told me that I'd need a lot of medical help, and even then I didn't have a great chance of ever bearing my own child.. I was in pain ALL of the time because of recurring ovarian cysts... they couldn't take me off of narcotic painkillers or I wouldn't be able to function. I felt like someone was stabbing me in the side every single moment of every single day for over a year, the pain would get so intense some days that I would vomit. I woke up a few weeks ago, and went to take my medicine for my nerve damage and realized--


    I forgot to take my pain pills.

    for TWO DAYS IN A ROW.

    I haven't had to take one since. My body has ovulated *by ITSELF* 2 months in a row...
    *giggle*

    Even beyond the physical pain, I've been so heartbroken about everything, I didn't dare to dream that I'd be able to have a baby someday. I wrote off hope the day I found out my "parts (for lack of a better word" were defunct... I cried so hard when I found out my best friend was pregnant (not in front of her, of course), I was so happy for her, but it reminded me that it would never be my belly big with child, or my face that was glowing, my husband that got to welcome the flesh of his flesh into the world.... I've been depressed all year.

    But without even realizing it, my heart has been healing, and I feel as though my body is, too-


    I can honestly say that I believe...

    *takes a deep breath*

    I'm going to have a baby someday.

    :heart: Manda

    I really hope ur dream comes true :flowerforyou:
  • iluvsparkles
    iluvsparkles Posts: 1,730 Member
    Options
    <
    crying at work

    Love you guys!!

    and i just wanted to say.. that the Lord works in mysterious ways!! trust in Him and He will provide!

    On a side note, there are tons of babies all over the world who can't get the care they deserve, and when i think about the fact that i may or may not be able to get pregnant (because i haven't yet tried so you can never be sure...) I am sure that even if that WERE the case, I would still be a great mommy to a less fortunate baby who would otherwise be shunned or ignored, or worse.

    So no worries Panda! Even if you try yourself, and it doesnt seem to happen, there are still ways to be a mommy!


    i hate not having the internet at home..i feel so behind on the posts!

Categories