How many calories if you ate a human??

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2

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  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
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    It depends... are you planning on using a marinade?

    how many calories in fava beans and a nice chianti?
  • fitandgeeky
    fitandgeeky Posts: 232 Member
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    Best thread I've read in a while :laugh:
  • Fenomka
    Fenomka Posts: 103 Member
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    Humans are all grissle and hate. You wouldn't want to waste your calories on that, would you?
  • blably
    blably Posts: 490 Member
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    I believe I just got flagged by a government security agency by Goggling this.

    Me too I've ate a girl before but not in the nutritional sense lol
    I could never fit it into my macros... maybe on a cheat day

    too much sodium?

    hahahaha
  • blably
    blably Posts: 490 Member
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    i remember i watched a show or something about new guinea - or somethin like that, and a old guy said he remembered when they used to eat people...and that their meat was THA BEST hahahah
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I've only seen 1 fat zombie in my life. So I'm guessing we aren't too many calories.
  • nashsheri33
    nashsheri33 Posts: 225 Member
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    the secret's in the sauce...
  • mixedfeelings
    mixedfeelings Posts: 904 Member
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    I believe I just got flagged by a government security agency by Goggling this.

    EDIT: But my research says it is much like beef, although people are more like pork in constitution.

    Yeah, I'd suggest going with pork also, is long pig not in the database?
  • kuger4119
    kuger4119 Posts: 213 Member
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    Hmmmm lets give if a go lol. Lets say human weights 130lb...majority is fat and protein. Lets say 20% fat = 26lb of fat = 11793.4 which is 106,137 cals and lets say the rest is protein (including organs) if we take 40lb away for bones that leaves 61lb of protein = 27669.1 which is 110,676 which means therefore total caloric intake = 216,813 caloroes

    Ha ha that's my best guess

    Although I just read that bones generally make up 15% of body weight which in this case is 19lb and therefore you'd have to add a further 21lb of protein! Lol

    Unfortunately, you are assuming that you would eat organs too. People are wasteful (rightfully so). The average person is actually closer to 150 lbs and is 30-40% muscle depending on if it's a male or a female. You'd cut most of the fat away, so you'd probably average out to 5 lbs of fat and 50 lbs of muscle to eat.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
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    wow. you people REALLY are discussing this..
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
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    14 year olds are best, you can factor in a fair amount of chasing if you pick one that's fairly lean.

    Target a fat kid and it's lose/lose really.
  • theironpenguin
    theironpenguin Posts: 29
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    i remember i watched a show or something about new guinea - or somethin like that, and a old guy said he remembered when they used to eat people...and that their meat was THA BEST hahahah

    You fancy an expedition with me lol
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
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    I've only seen 1 fat zombie in my life. So I'm guessing we aren't too many calories.

    Yeah, but to be fair, their metabolism is fairly screwed, what with being dead an' all.


    Maybe all the fat people got completely eaten, like a MccyD burger, because the extra fat and salt and stuff made them like junk food for zombies? But the healthy weight people just had a couple of bites and were left because they were so filling, thus allowing them to become zoms themselves?



    New motivation - Dont be a zombieburger.
  • Angel37615
    Angel37615 Posts: 87 Member
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    there are over 10,000 battered women... but most guys prefer them plain....:tongue:
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I've only seen 1 fat zombie in my life. So I'm guessing we aren't too many calories.

    Yeah, but to be fair, their metabolism is fairly screwed, what with being dead an' all.


    Maybe all the fat people got completely eaten, like a MccyD burger, because the extra fat and salt and stuff made them like junk food for zombies? But the healthy weight people just had a couple of bites and were left because they were so filling, thus allowing them to become zoms themselves?



    New motivation - Dont be a zombieburger.

    Good point, or the fat people just weren't fast enough to run away so they become a zombie buffet...
  • Fenomka
    Fenomka Posts: 103 Member
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    I've only seen 1 fat zombie in my life. So I'm guessing we aren't too many calories.

    Which lore do you go by, tho? cause some zombies ONLY eat our brains... and Brain matter is like 70 % fat... is it just that all that walking they do between meals burns all the calories consumed? I mean.. Zombies do A LOT of walking...
  • Fenomka
    Fenomka Posts: 103 Member
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    there are over 10,000 battered women... but most guys prefer them plain....:tongue:

    Wakka Wakka... hahaha
  • Fenomka
    Fenomka Posts: 103 Member
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    wow. you people REALLY are discussing this..

    Hey, if you can't beat 'em.... er... EAT 'em!!
  • MissSusieQ
    MissSusieQ Posts: 533 Member
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    right, according to my body analysis from this morning, and various bodybuilding sites, i estimate myself to be 206,491.264cal, having taken into account my body fat%, muscle and bone mass and hydration level. on my current plan, i would last me 172 days, but unfortunately i'm a vegetarian, so it would never work out.

    but, incidentally, if i was equal parts quorn burger, peas, baked beans, light cheese and sweet potato, i'd be worth 103,503.412cal, last myself 86.25 days, and be, frankly, delicious.
  • BflSaberfan
    BflSaberfan Posts: 1,272
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    I've only seen 1 fat zombie in my life. So I'm guessing we aren't too many calories.

    Which lore do you go by, tho? cause some zombies ONLY eat our brains... and Brain matter is like 70 % fat... is it just that all that walking they do between meals burns all the calories consumed? I mean.. Zombies do A LOT of walking...

    Hmmm well the zombies on Walking Dead eat everything, you make another good point, all they do is walk...sometimes run...but they never stop moving. That must be the key.

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