Online Dating: The way to go or just plain desperate?

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  • cherylatkwechanged
    cherylatkwechanged Posts: 479 Member
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    I met my husband online 13 years ago. We lived in different states and never would have met each other otherwise. Even way back then, I didn't think of it as a sign of desperation. I just wasn't satisfied with the guys I was meeting in "real life" situations, where it was only about initial physical attraction and sometimes beer goggles. :laugh:

    It's just another option... another way of meeting people. And it's becoming as commonplace as meeting at a bar or club. I remember watching old episodes of the Mary Tyler Moore show from the early 70s on TVLand, when meeting someone at a bar was considered scandalous and reeking of desperation. Times change.

    ^^^^This . Met my husband 10 years ago this way.

    I think that meeting online on a site like MFP (one where you have a common interest) is the way to go. Seems to me that if you walk into a bar hoping to meet someone, you may or may not have something in common. Meeting on a board indicates you have a shared interest which is always a good place to start :)

    Totally agree, there are many fantastic people on here that have a lot in common and there is nothing wrong with on line dating as long as your carefull
  • evandehey
    evandehey Posts: 18 Member
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    I met my husband on OKcupid. It's free and like facebook for single people. It didn't feel desperate at all to me at the time. I think online dating is becoming more and more popular. I did have to meet a lot of people before I met my husband... but I gotta tell you... he's amazing and I'm really happy with him... so in short... no. Online dating doesn't seem desperate to me and I feel it's a very effective way to meet a life partner or even to just meet people to date.

    I met my husband on OKcupid, too! I mean, you do have to actually meet the people you connect with online, but if I hadn't used online dating I never would have found him. I liked the more casual vibe on OKC, too. Go ahead and give it a shot, it's just one more way of meeting people!
  • dblaacker
    dblaacker Posts: 153 Member
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    Online dating is extremely common now. It takes some of the guesswork out of dating, because you don't have to sit and think "Is that person single?" before making a move. I used okcupid.com (because it was free) and ended up dating a couple guys on there (but not at the same time). I think it was a good experience. Sites like that typically match people up according to certain interests, as well as propinquity (closeness to one another). I don't think there's any one "type" of person who uses dating websites. It takes a while to mull through profiles and determine whom to approach, but it takes even longer to do that in the real world (as opposed to the digital world). There are a variety of ways to meet someone online, be it through a dating website, online videogame forum, myspace (if that still exists), facebook, etc. I think you should just find whatever works for you. Good luck! :)
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    Online dating worked for Manti Te'o, right? RIGHT? ;)

    I won't attempt online dating. I'm a people person and I like to interact with people and have no intentions of meeting people online.

    EDIT for the grammar nazi's.: Well you're no fun.
  • Morgaine_on_the_move
    Morgaine_on_the_move Posts: 228 Member
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    My one and only attempt at online dating ended up with marriage, so I can't comment on the aspect of meeting lots of people and wading through the crazies. We took it offline pretty quickly--a couple messages, then phone calls, then meeting a month later. We were both honest about who we were, and it's been great. I never would have met him otherwise.
    I'm biased, obviously, but I say, go for it!
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    I met my last two girlfriends online. Not through dating sites, but casually on community boards. I had great experiences with both and they were amazing women. I feel that we got to know each others personalities very well through phone conversations and when we finally met there was no awkwardness at all.
  • ladybb7
    ladybb7 Posts: 134 Member
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    Met my husband of almost 3 years on POF... I got lucky- he was the first and only person I met online!! Feels too good to be true!! Couldn't be happier! I think it's hard to meet people the traditional way these days... Would you rather meet someone in a bar? People these days are busy and online is an easy way to weed out people who just don't have the same interests, beliefs, goals, etc.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Online dating worked for Manti Te'o, right? RIGHT? ;)

    I won't attempt online dating. I'm a people person and I like to interact with people and have no intentions of meeting people online.

    There's a difference between meeting someone online, and going on to date them, and an entire "relationship" carried out online. Even if the "girlfriend" had been a girl, it still wasn't dating. It was a pen pal.
  • littlebre33
    littlebre33 Posts: 318
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    i dpn't think it's desperate at all..I checked out online dating as I was in nursing school and originally it was nice to just talk or hang out with someone. With that being said my hubby and i met online about 4 years ago and to date we have 2 beautiful little boys with no sight in end.
  • emmgetsfit
    emmgetsfit Posts: 203 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.

    This!! ^^

    I tried POF and actually looked for decent guys - and got the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with. Good example - one took me to see Defiance and tried to stick his tongue down my throat the entire time. For those who haven't seen it - it's a movie about the Holocaust. The opening scene is a ravine filled with naked lifeless bodies. Romantic, right? That summer is now known as the Summer of Fish. And that summer stunk!!

    That being said I haven't sworn off online dating entirely. New jobs, financial licenses for work, and finishing my MBA have murdered my social life so I've given myself a deadline - If I haven't met anyone by the time I graduate or am half way to my weight loss goal, whichever comes first, I will try the online dating thing again. I know so many people it's worked for, why the hell not give it another go? As Einstein says: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Time for a change.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.

    This!! ^^

    I tried POF and actually looked for decent guys - and got the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with. Good example - one took me to see Defiance and tried to stick his tongue down my throat the entire time. For those who haven't seen it - it's a movie about the Holocaust. The opening scene is a ravine filled with naked lifeless bodies. Romantic, right? That summer is now known as the Summer of Fish. And that summer stunk!!

    That being said I haven't sworn off online dating entirely. New jobs, financial licenses for work, and finishing my MBA have murdered my social life so I've given myself a deadline - If I haven't met anyone by the time I graduate or am half way to my weight loss goal, whichever comes first, I will try the online dating thing again. I know so many people it's worked for, why the hell not give it another go? As Einstein says: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Time for a change.


    Um, people do Insanity here all the time and see results.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
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    I prefer cats.
  • emmgetsfit
    emmgetsfit Posts: 203 Member
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    Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

    I see that as clever, not desperate.

    This!! ^^

    I tried POF and actually looked for decent guys - and got the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with. Good example - one took me to see Defiance and tried to stick his tongue down my throat the entire time. For those who haven't seen it - it's a movie about the Holocaust. The opening scene is a ravine filled with naked lifeless bodies. Romantic, right? That summer is now known as the Summer of Fish. And that summer stunk!!

    That being said I haven't sworn off online dating entirely. New jobs, financial licenses for work, and finishing my MBA have murdered my social life so I've given myself a deadline - If I haven't met anyone by the time I graduate or am half way to my weight loss goal, whichever comes first, I will try the online dating thing again. I know so many people it's worked for, why the hell not give it another go? As Einstein says: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Time for a change.


    Um, people do Insanity here all the time and see results.

    touché :drinker:
  • WVmom24
    WVmom24 Posts: 266 Member
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    I've been doing it since I am a working mom with 3 kids. Going out all the time to try to meet people takes a back-seat to sleep. I've noticed though that most of the guys that talk to me on those sites just initiate sex talk and it really irritates me. I go out of my way on my profiles to NOT mention sex or post revealing pictures, yet I still attract a ton of creeps. Even on ChristianMingle...I've had three guys go out of their way so far to talk to me. One I googled and found him on a bunch of hookup sites so I said "no thanks", one started asking me for naked pictures, and one I added on facebook and was actually talking to a lot until he started insinuating we should hook up. I was pretty mad about that actually. It's discouraging that people in general, not just online, are so fake. They're hiding something like a relationship, or they're liars, or they're just trying to get in your pants and pretending to be interested in a relationship to see how far they can get. It's enough that I've been single now for almost a year, just because I haven't found one single "real" person who is also compatible with me. I think online dating is just as risky and annoying as regular dating.
  • willbeayummymuumy
    willbeayummymuumy Posts: 57
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    I see a good tool in online dating, but it has it's drawbacks.

    You will only get a certain dose of someone. Look at all the pics on our site here. We only pick the ones that we like. In person, you get the whole story, good side, bad side, embarrassment, confidence, etc.

    This aint always true...i have a pic on here i HATE but posted for motivation :)
  • msserene
    msserene Posts: 13 Member
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    My husband and I met online. My SIL met her fiancé online and my sister met her current boyfriend. I know so many more success stories. I do believe we live in a different time. Online dating is not for desperate people. They are plenty of perfectly normal people that are great catches online. It is just another option to improve the chances of meeting someone you are compatible with? Are there crazies online? Yes! But guess what, there are crazies at your school, at your job, at the club, at the bar, at the mall, at church and anywhere else people normally meet their mate. They are everywhere. You just need to use commons sense and take the same precautions of weeding people out that are not a good match for you.
  • dcuevas6235
    dcuevas6235 Posts: 135
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    Online dating makes me seem picky, because the only people that are interested in me are DESPERATE! And it would appear that the women I would be interested seem preoccupied with dozens of other guys, so the whole experience feels very superficial. I HATE ONLINE DATING!
  • meredith1123
    meredith1123 Posts: 843 Member
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    It doesn't have the stigma it used to. It's just another way to meet people. If you're not super outgoing, don't have a huge plethora of friends, busy with work, etc, its not easy meeting new people. Online gives you a good way to connect to others. The only thing that makes it hard is finding common ground. You gotta do a lot of sifting. When you meet people here, or IRL, there is already some common ground there. But, with a random stranger, there's not much to go on there until you start chatting.

    ^ this.
    I met my boyfriend online although it wasnt on a dating site nor was it to date. We met IRL two months later to go to a concert together just as friends but well, we ended up loving each other to death at first site. That was six years ago and we are still going strong! =)
    I meet a lot of really cool people online anyway. its a great way to reach out to people other than just meeting people at stupid bars or clubs.

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