Online Dating: The way to go or just plain desperate?

I met my husband on OKcupid. It's free and like facebook for single people. It didn't feel desperate at all to me at the time. I think online dating is becoming more and more popular. I did have to meet a lot of people before I met my husband... but I gotta tell you... he's amazing and I'm really happy with him... so in short... no. Online dating doesn't seem desperate to me and I feel it's a very effective way to meet a life partner or even to just meet people to date.

I met my husband on OKcupid, too! I mean, you do have to actually meet the people you connect with online, but if I hadn't used online dating I never would have found him. I liked the more casual vibe on OKC, too. Go ahead and give it a shot, it's just one more way of meeting people!

Online dating worked for Manti Te'o, right? RIGHT?

I won't attempt online dating. I'm a people person and I like to interact with people and have no intentions of meeting people online.

EDIT for the grammar nazi's.: Well you're no fun.

I met my last two girlfriends online. Not through dating sites, but casually on community boards. I had great experiences with both and they were amazing women. I feel that we got to know each others personalities very well through phone conversations and when we finally met there was no awkwardness at all.

Online dating worked for Manti Te'o, right? RIGHT?

I won't attempt online dating. I'm a people person and I like to interact with people and have no intentions of meeting people online.

There's a difference between meeting someone online, and going on to date them, and an entire "relationship" carried out online. Even if the "girlfriend" had been a girl, it still wasn't dating. It was a pen pal.

Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

I see that as clever, not desperate.

This!! ^^

I tried POF and actually looked for decent guys - and got the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with. Good example - one took me to see Defiance and tried to stick his tongue down my throat the entire time. For those who haven't seen it - it's a movie about the Holocaust. The opening scene is a ravine filled with naked lifeless bodies. Romantic, right? That summer is now known as the Summer of Fish. And that summer stunk!!

That being said I haven't sworn off online dating entirely. New jobs, financial licenses for work, and finishing my MBA have murdered my social life so I've given myself a deadline - If I haven't met anyone by the time I graduate or am half way to my weight loss goal, whichever comes first, I will try the online dating thing again. I know so many people it's worked for, why the hell not give it another go? As Einstein says: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Time for a change.

I prefer cats.

Back when I had more time, I got on a dating site and purposely chose the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with, just for the good story it would produce. And trust me, I got some GOOD stories.

I see that as clever, not desperate.

This!! ^^

I tried POF and actually looked for decent guys - and got the weirdest, douchiest guys to go out with. Good example - one took me to see Defiance and tried to stick his tongue down my throat the entire time. For those who haven't seen it - it's a movie about the Holocaust. The opening scene is a ravine filled with naked lifeless bodies. Romantic, right? That summer is now known as the Summer of Fish. And that summer stunk!!

That being said I haven't sworn off online dating entirely. New jobs, financial licenses for work, and finishing my MBA have murdered my social life so I've given myself a deadline - If I haven't met anyone by the time I graduate or am half way to my weight loss goal, whichever comes first, I will try the online dating thing again. I know so many people it's worked for, why the hell not give it another go? As Einstein says: "Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results." Time for a change.

Um, people do Insanity here all the time and see results.

touché :drinker:

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My husband and I met online. My SIL met her fiancé online and my sister met her current boyfriend. I know so many more success stories. I do believe we live in a different time. Online dating is not for desperate people. They are plenty of perfectly normal people that are great catches online. It is just another option to improve the chances of meeting someone you are compatible with? Are there crazies online? Yes! But guess what, there are crazies at your school, at your job, at the club, at the bar, at the mall, at church and anywhere else people normally meet their mate. They are everywhere. You just need to use commons sense and take the same precautions of weeding people out that are not a good match for you.

It doesn't have the stigma it used to. It's just another way to meet people. If you're not super outgoing, don't have a huge plethora of friends, busy with work, etc, its not easy meeting new people. Online gives you a good way to connect to others. The only thing that makes it hard is finding common ground. You gotta do a lot of sifting. When you meet people here, or IRL, there is already some common ground there. But, with a random stranger, there's not much to go on there until you start chatting.

^ this.
I met my boyfriend online although it wasnt on a dating site nor was it to date. We met IRL two months later to go to a concert together just as friends but well, we ended up loving each other to death at first site. That was six years ago and we are still going strong!
I meet a lot of really cool people online anyway. its a great way to reach out to people other than just meeting people at stupid bars or clubs.

I met my fiance through a mutual friend. We all played an online mmo and she introduced us one day and from there we talked as friends for a few months. He eventually came to see me and decided to relocate to my home town to be with me. I would have never thought it would happen that way but here we are almost 3 years together and planning a wedding.

I was on match.com years ago and that's how i met my husband!!! we got married this past dec!

I see a good tool in online dating, but it has it's drawbacks.

You will only get a certain dose of someone. Look at all the pics on our site here. We only pick the ones that we like. In person, you get the whole story, good side, bad side, embarrassment, confidence, etc.

You only get a certain dose of someone when you meet them in real life, too. Sure, you can't really hide what you look like, but people meeting for the first time or going on a first date tend to put their best foot forward. People have social masks that they wear and it takes time to get to know the whole story.

I met my guy online. Here. We were friends for close to a year or so before we ever became anything more than just online friends. Situations changed for both of us and we live relatively close together, so we decided to meet for dinner one night. It was the best first date I've ever had. Everything since then has been the best I've ever had.

My first relationship, which lasted four years, began online and continued long-distance for four years. Sounds doomed from the start, right? It probably was. And while there are still a lot of negative emotions and things I'm still struggling to come to terms with and accept, I will always stand by the reality of my feelings in the incredibly sloppy and unorthodox mechanics how I have no clue lasted that long. But when people share a genuine connection, the avenue through which they meet, all on its own, does not define whether someone is desperate or not. There are many people who have met online, who have had incredibly lengthy long-distance relationships, and who have managed to create wonderful lives together. Calling the entire endeavor pathetic or desperate or silly or unrealistic is a ridiculous presumption to make and I personally found it very offensive when people laughed at me when I first came out and told my friends and family that I had a girlfriend across the country. The stigma around this has gone down considerably, but it still exists and it still sucks.

As terribly as we both handled our relationship, and though we've gone our separate ways, at least for a part of those four years I managed to share an unbelievably strong friendship—and for a while, a romance—with the first person I allowed myself to be completely open with. That alone was a big step for me in the context of my own life, and as much as I sometimes wish I never bothered with any of it, that personal development is what makes it all okay.

All of that said and in spite of my support for this, it would take a hell of a lot to get me to even consider something like non-local, online dating or long-distance ever again.