Desperate I Am

Food is rarely the problem, it's the crutch that some people lean on to cover their unhappiness. I would suggest that you talk to a doctor or better still a counsellor. I think that if you can source your pain, you can deal with it, regain your confidence and self belief and the weight loss will follow.
No - one here can give you a miracle weight loss recipe but we can help and support you when you need to talk and encourage you when you doubt yourself:happy:
This place is great and I hope you stay and find some inspiration

Maybe her confronting you is just what you needed. Losing weight is definitely hard but if you really want to do it you can, I've done all the diets too and used to be very skinny and I am reminding myself daily that it takes time to lose weight but as long as you are trying you will get there. Don't give up. Maybe try chewing gum at your desk instead of snacking, small things can make a big difference. Instead of hard exercise you hate why not try walking. You can clear your head and might really like it. Its gonna be a hard road but there are a lot of people here on myfitnesspal.com to help support and encourage you.

“If what you are doing is not moving you towards your goals, then it’s moving you away from your goals.” ~Brian Tracy

I am the female version of you. I dread meeting people and going out. I have lost 25 pounds since new years and I am starting to feel better about myself. I don't consider what I am doing a diet I have really just cut back on how much I eat. You can do this! And you can add me as a friend if you like. Don't give up!

Here is a great place to start:

http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

I have found the most success by looking @ my lifestyle & habits more, and the next great thing less.

I wholeheartedly second this. Eat healthy, avoid fast foods, lift weights is working wonders for me, you have to figure out what will work for you. Feel free to add me.

realize that it is not a sprint to lose the weight but a marathon. one you will probably be racing for the rest of your life. it took quite some time to put the weight on and it wont come off any faster/easier

you have to realize that food is not the root of your problem but more a coping mechanism. learn to confront what makes you want to eat and find other ways to deal with it.

I was practically the same weight as you are when I started here myself.

The only thing you need to know is this place WORKS, provided you keep up your end. Log what you eat, try to hit your calorie goals, and exercise is a great help.

Just stick with it and you'll be posting your own success story one of these days. And hopefully that wife of yours will be very proud.

Good luck mate.

Dear Desperate I am,
You have a very negative outlook with a very positive lady by your side take advanage of that and realize she wants you by her side and to give up on you is to give up on her. Thanks as you reminded me to get started again and be accountable. I had lost 18 lbs last year on this and felt great than let myself down and my weight came back so I too like you have to get my mojo going!!! Thanks for the reminder.

You've made a start by being on here if you want to add me as a friend for support your more than welcome xx

Totally agree You've taken the first step and there's nothing wrong with posting on a forum when you feel you need help! I've been using MFP since the New Year and pretty much everybody is so motivational and I find that if I log in everyday, I feel the need to stay on track etc.

I'm going to add you now, this is a good place to be

Embrace your wife's enthusiasm for wanting to do all of those activities and you will feel even more determined to look good for her, but more importantly yourself. You may want to consider a new job too? I know that's never as easy as it sounds, especially if you've been doing the same thing for a while. But work is a big part of a lot of people's lives so ideally you need to enjoy it to some extent. Maybe think about doing something that would be keeping you busy when usually you would want to eat

I hope you have success with MFP!

You have received great advice, now is time for you to use it. There's a reason why you are here now, a reason why your wife talked to you today, everything is in the right place now....now it's your turn!
No one here will tell you this is easy, because we all know it's not. You just need to get this inside your head and work at it every single day. Some days you'll feel them as a success and a step closer to your goals, some other days not that much; but the only thing that matters is that you pick yourself up and try again.
We can all cry and feel defeated daily..but what did you do about it? that's what's important.
This is a great site, with great people and we're all willing to listen to each other and give advice based on our own experience in the subject, but no ones knows you better than you.

Start thinking about why do you eat? Hunger, stress, sadness, loneliness; whatever the reason is you need to find what triggers your eating and avoid it. And I can assure you, most likely it won't be hunger!

Then, log your food, whatever it is, even if it's not healthy....just log everyting! This will get you in the habit of tracking and you'll realize how much food/calories you're eating.

Finally add any kind of activity. Doesn't have to be a class at the gym; even a walk around your house, or walk the dog...or park your car as far as you can from your work....whatever just add a bit of exercise.

Little by little you'll start losing and regaining that much need it selfsteem back, and from there is the point of no return.
Your food choices will get better and so as your exercise; when you see the scale go down I promise the feeling of empowerment is so great you won't want to go back!

I'm sending you a friend request...surround yourself with support here so when you feel a bit down you have someone to pick you back up. Every little change counts, every single day counts, every tiny decision counts!! You can definitely do this!! Use the resources you have and make the decision now.....we'll be waiting for you.

I think it took lots of courage to write what you did, and I'm proud of you for that. I think it takes a "one day at a time" mentality - we are addicted to food, just as alcoholics & drug addicts are addicted to their poisons. My suggestion would be to commit to myfitnesspal - but don't tell anyone - for now. Use your friends on this site to talk to, to gain support from. You'll be SO proud of yourself when you accomplish your first day on mfp, and you're under your allotted calories, or when you've done your workout, whatever. Use that pride to do it again tomorrow. You can do this. IF/when you have a bad day or don't do so well, shake it off, and start fresh the next day. You'll see results. It may not be as fast as you'd like, but you will. Hang in there. Change your lifestyle for yourself - not for anyone else. I'm sending a friend request if you'd like my support. Best wishes!

I think admiting is the first step towards change. It seems like a good place to start being with some non judgemental strangers. Good luck on your quest and be kind to yourself. Losing weight is the greatest act of self love at this stage of the game for you (it seems).

Absolutely spot on.....Step 1: We admitted we were powerless over [people, places and things....food, alcohol, sugar, caffiene, cigarettes, fill in the blank] – that OUR lives had become unmanageable.

And the best part, you don't need to do it alone, because Step 2: Came to believe that at Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

Today, that power can just be the awesome people who responded to your call for help. Most have great advise.

It's great you wife feels passionately enough about you to confront you, rather than just walk away.

God Bless you on your journey!

track track track everything! Even if you go over. Just start doing that, and gradually you may see how much you are eating, and then change your quanities gradually. Well done for posting on here that is a great start!

Thank you so much for reaching out to all of us. We have all been there. It sounds like you need your "aha" moment - when you are totally fed up and need/decide/want to make the change and fully commit to it. Once you get that moment and commit, it will be easier for you to move forward. You might still eat out of "boredom," but make them healthy snacks and limit them for your daily intake. Take baby steps and help yourself change your behavior. Drink more water. Tell yourself you will only snack between 3:00 and 4:00. Get up and walk around. Ask for more things to do - it will make your day go faster and take your mind off of food. You can do this - you just have to take your first step, then add something on, then add something else on. It sounds like your wife will give you full support. Have her pack your lunch and healthy snacks - if she doesn't pack it, you don't eat it. Start exercising and it helps curb your appetite and makes you think more about what food you put into your mouth. Start - and don't give up. You will fall off course, but get right back on. Set your mind to this, and you can do it!