Very Down

Because it's a huge change and you are looking at it as a huge change. You can't lose 100+ lbs overnight. You can't lose 100+ lbs in a month. You likely can't lose 100+ lbs in a year.

But you can lose a few ounces overnight. And you can lose a pound in a week. And you can lose 5 pounds in a month. And you can lose 50 pounds in a year. And that all adds up relatively quickly when you consider how long your life is gonna be if you get and stay healthy before you develop any obesity-related health problems.

You will make mistakes.
You may gain some back here and there.
You might even fall completely off the wagon for a while.

I started four years ago at almost exactly your starting weight. I'm now at almost exactly half that.
I have made mistakes.
I have gained some back here and there.
I have fallen completely off the wagon, sometimes for months at a time.

Feel free to add me if you like. I was where you are, scared and discouraged and intimidated, and everything around me was telling me I couldn't do it without some pill or some program or some surgery. Sometimes I'm still scared and discouraged and intimidated, but I'm living, breathing proof that it can be done. This is about changing your life, about burning down the bad habits that got you here and building a new set of habits to help you get where you want and stay there. It's huge, and it's scary, and it's hard, and it's gonna take a long time. But in the end, if it's really what you want, I know you can do it, and deep down I think you know you can too. That's why you're here, right? :flowerforyou:

EDIT: Also, when you're feeling down and discouraged, you're probably better off posting in the Motivation and Support forums, as it tends to house less people who don't understand that giving you crap is the opposite of helpful.

Hey Kim, I started off at 289, and I'm down 40+ pounds, but it's taken a lot of time and effort to get here. There are weeks that I don't feel motivated, and there are weeks that I just don't want to do the work--hell, there are one week around my birthday that I went absolutely bananas--but I keep plugging away because I want to change.

You're the only one that can do this, and if you don't want it enough right now you can quit, but at some point you'll be back and kicking yourself for not doing it earlier.

Just like everyone has already said: You have to actually want it. It HAS to be a lifestyle change. Don't think of it as a crash diet where you will suffer for X amount of months, then you can go back to the way it was.

1) Use the "in place of roadmap" thread that is on the forums (I think someone already linked it). Determine all your numbers and set it in MFP. Track your food EVERY day and be honest. You are only cheating yourself if you fudge (no pun intended) the numbers.

2) Get rid of and never have your "weakness foods" in the house...EVER. Sure, you can enjoy those foods ever once in a while, but just don't go overboard. Make yourself work for the "prize." My weakness is any kind of chips (especially Doritos). If I get one of those large bags at the grocery store (because oh it's such a great deal) I will end up eating the whole damn thing in one sitting. I just can't control myself. And don't think of it as "oh, I'm so awful, I have no self control, I am bad...blah blah blah." Think of it as just minimizing the temptation. Set up barriers for yourself. This is one of the most valuable parts of dieting. If you do nothing else, do this!

3) Fads and gimmicks and pills don't work in the long run. It's all about eat less, exercise more. The end!

I don't think coddling or encouraging unhealthy behaviors is the answer

Yes you do.



All the coddling and rainbows, and special snowflake bs never got me moving. It was when my doctor told me You will die, you will have a heart attack in the next few years, it will happen. I finally got my *kitten* in gear and got moving.

I think if you had said what you said first plus your reply above "together" it would have come across different. I do understand what you are saying. My doctor saying something to me got me moving as well.

Kim,

Due to the weather and lack of entry level gym in your area, I would suggest that you get a wii and start zumba or other exercises they have (may be others can help on appropriate play system). Or, you can find exercise video on youtube. Search for the Befit channel and they post new videos every week, different exercise levels. If you do not have internet at home, download the freeyoutube downloader from cnet.com at your work computer, and download the videos and then transfer them in a usb stick to your home computers. Keep healthy snack at work-I mix cheerios with some goldfish and peanuts, nuts and drink a lot of tea without sugar. If you drink soda, eliminate it. Drink plain coffee for the caffeine and switch to Poland spring sparkling water for the gas to help digest. Document on mfp ALL your food intake and try to identify what triggers a lot of food eating.

Pray for strength to not give in to temptations everyday. If the temptation is to eat junk food, make a plan when you will have a treat, and sit down and enjoy it with friends. Once a week. Chips, icecream, cookies -- these are NOT things that slim people eat everyday at all.

If your temptation is to not exercise, you must find a time of day that is good, and commit every day to "meet" your exercise buddy. This buddy is you, your tv video, your slimmer self, or God. Commit to this person, even if it is only 10 minutes. Do it.

Love yourself. Easy to say, hard to do. You are a child of God. He has a plan for you. You are important in his eyes.

Hi Kim,

The best thing about starting where you're at is that nearly every positive choice you make will have a direct effect on how you feel and the number on the scale. I lost 95 pounds (and gained a smidge bit back when I got some injuries) and it's overwhelming to think of it as a whole. Think of little choices you can make, and just start doing them one at a time. Little things like parking further from your destination (so you have to walk further) or getting off the bus one stop before yours (so you have to walk further) all that kind of thing ads up.

Also think of this: A year from now you could keep doing what you've been doing, and stay the same or gain weight and be less healthy. OR you could start logging your food, moving around a little more, and then a year from now you'll be 50 pounds lighter (or more!). Time is gonna pass either way. Would you rather be healthier a year from now? or stuck where you're at now feeling depressed and hating yourself even more?

There's a lot of great info on this site, and lots of supportive people. Ask questions. Get ideas. Learn new recipes. Learn new tips and habits. Forget the fads, focus on healthy, sustainable choices. Good luck!

I say, change one thing at a time! Write down the steps, and do one a month.

.....

Recognize it will take a long time--and losing slowly and making lifestyle changes will last longer and be healthier than a crash diet and starving yourself.

There is a saying in Spanish, which I don't really speak, but here goes: "Poco a poco, paso a paso." Little by little, step by step. One small change at a time. It works!

i know all about being over weight and feeling down. You just have to find a motivator like mine is I want to be able to run and play sports with my 9 year old daughter.

I'm far from finished, however I consider myself on my way. There are a lot of people who will say things in a hurtful way, but what they are really saying is wake up and smell the roses. Let's live a better life.

There is no magic here other than support. Make better choices and move. That is the secret. Accept that there will be good and bad days, accept that you are not perfect. It isn't all or nothing, just move through each day. I'm celebrating today because I just hit the 20 pound loss. I still have 80 to go, and I'm going to get there. I don't know how long it is going to take, and frankly I'm not going to worry about that. My goal is to loose a pound a week. Some weeks I loose more and some I loose less. One week I even gained. So what, I'm going in the right direction and I'm happy again. You can be too.