Why am I like this?

ever since 1/1/13 started I wanted to change my lifestyle and eat right, I have not done that even for 1 day. The more I think about losing weight and eating right, the more I eat and go off track...:( I just can not get started. It is my B'day today and I really want to set things straight. I am not sure if I have some sort of hidden stress or what, but I DO WANT TO CHANGE, but I can't. WHY? when I put food in my mouth, I am not hungry and I do think that I should not and I still put it in anyway....:(

I keep thinking to leave carbs off for a week or two to get started and slowly add good carbs back in, but then think that is not good way to do I will just moderately eat everything, but the end of the day I feel bloated, stuffed, and disgusted....:(

Anyone want to help me giving me the set food and amt for me to follow to get started? or any other tips to stay strong would be appreciated as well
«13

Replies

  • fantasticelastic
    fantasticelastic Posts: 52 Member
    Hi pinkupooh, if your anything like me its how you look at things that make the difference. If i tell myself that im on a 'diet' or i 'cant have' I tend to rebel and eat all the things I shouldnt be eating...even if I normally dont eat them !!
    Iv been trying to lose a stone after having twins 3 years ago. I tried ww for a week and ran away from it , I just hate having to watch every bite I take.
    Anyway while looking for help with tirdness (was shocking tired all the time no matter hou much sleep I got), Iv cut down on carbs. I lost nearly a stone in 2 weeks and am now nearly at my ideal weight (1lb to go ;). But the main difference is I feel fantastic, my energy has trippled !
    So I dont see me not eating potatoes, rice, bread etc as a punishment I see it as 'if i have that I'll be wrecked and bloated in an hour'. So Im doing myself a favour by not eating it.
    Do you see what Im getting at ? Dont see you eating healthy as a punishment , see it as giving yourself the care that you deserve to look and feel healthy :)
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    I was like this for a long time. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't working. I finally realized that it won't work until you want it to work. When you are 100% determined to lose weight and get healthy, then it will happen. A lot of weight loss is mental. You have to really want it.
  • Lizzy622
    Lizzy622 Posts: 3,705 Member
    You may have tried too much too fast. First log EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. This will give you a place to look back to see what you are really doing. Some people even keep track of how they feel after each meal. If you feel bad after certain foods maybe you should stay away from them. Good luck. and yes you can have a small piece of birthday cake. Happy birthday. :flowerforyou:
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    Happy Birthday! Make this the day to change.

    However, you have to want it. I've already sasid this in another post today, but:
    If you really want it you can do it.

    Keep it simple - no special 'diets', no cutting out food groups, no special pills, no starvation.

    Eat a little less (aiming to lose no more than 1 to 2 lbs per week)
    Move a little more

    It will take time. There is no quick fix. But do it right in a sustainable way the weight will gradually come off.


    Try not to do too much too soon. Make sure you eat enough so that you don't feel deprived. If that means only losing 1/2lb per week then so be it. It's still 1/2lb and you will be making progress.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    Hi pinkupooh, if your anything like me its how you look at things that make the difference. If i tell myself that im on a 'diet' or i 'cant have' I tend to rebel and eat all the things I shouldnt be eating...even if I normally dont eat them !!
    Iv been trying to lose a stone after having twins 3 years ago. I tried ww for a week and ran away from it , I just hate having to watch every bite I take.
    Anyway while looking for help with tirdness (was shocking tired all the time no matter hou much sleep I got), Iv cut down on carbs. I lost nearly a stone in 2 weeks and am now nearly at my ideal weight (1lb to go ;). But the main difference is I feel fantastic, my energy has trippled !
    So I dont see me not eating potatoes, rice, bread etc as a punishment I see it as 'if i have that I'll be wrecked and bloated in an hour'. So Im doing myself a favour by not eating it.
    Do you see what Im getting at ? Dont see you eating healthy as a punishment , see it as giving yourself the care that you deserve to look and feel healthy :)

    Yeah, I see what you mean. I have successfully done south beach for 4-5 months and was feeling great and was manageable too, not sure how I got off and now I can't get back on. I did MFP last year summer and lost 12-14 lb and felt great too, but got off tracks again and now having hard time getting back. All of this is telling me that even if I do something I will never keep it on for year or so to get to my ideal weight and everything will come right back on as soon as I quit. I am not able to see it as a life time change. I WANT TO THOUGH....:(

    Thanks so much for your suggestion, I will definitely give it a try
  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Quite simply, if you want to do it, you will (barring a disorder of some type). You're going to have to find that within yourself.

    Here are two great posts that should give you some information to help you get started when you're ready:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/921403-yes-you-can-quick-start-guide-to-fat-loss

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013

    Read them and really pay attention to what's being said, and if you're really prepared to make changes, you will.

    Best of luck :)
  • bdamaster60
    bdamaster60 Posts: 595 Member
    ever since 1/1/13 started I wanted to change my lifestyle and eat right, I have not done that even for 1 day. The more I think about losing weight and eating right, the more I eat and go off track...:( I just can not get started. It is my B'day today and I really want to set things straight. I am not sure if I have some sort of hidden stress or what, but I DO WANT TO CHANGE, but I can't. WHY? when I put food in my mouth, I am not hungry and I do think that I should not and I still put it in anyway....:(

    I keep thinking to leave carbs off for a week or two to get started and slowly add good carbs back in, but then think that is not good way to do I will just moderately eat everything, but the end of the day I feel bloated, stuffed, and disgusted....:(

    Anyone want to help me giving me the set food and amt for me to follow to get started? or any other tips to stay strong would be appreciated as well

    why? you are weak and are to busy feeling sorry for yourself that it distracts you from the most important step to and lifestyle change. That is, to start. Telling yourself you can't is just a story because somewhere in your subconscious you believe that you deserve to indulge yourself. Get over it. Pick any respectable diet and workout plan and follow it. It doesn't matter which one, just pick one.

    Might seem harsh and mean, but If I was you, I would want someone to punch me in the face if it mean't a step forward to the strongest version of myself. If MFP allowed me to swear this comment would probably have at least 20 f-bombs.
  • nwg74
    nwg74 Posts: 360 Member
    Sounds you are not ready yet to lose weight.

    I have been overwieght since I was 11 years old and didn't start doing anything until I was 36. What got me started was getting on the scales and saw I was 373 pounds.

    Even cutting back on something like that has calories like full sugar coke to diet coke can help kickstart the process without trying to change what else you eat. Is there something like that ?

    Happy Birthday.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    Happy Birthday! Make this the day to change.

    However, you have to want it. I've already sasid this in another post today, but:
    If you really want it you can do it.

    Keep it simple - no special 'diets', no cutting out food groups, no special pills, no starvation.

    Eat a little less (aiming to lose no more than 1 to 2 lbs per week)
    Move a little more

    It will take time. There is no quick fix. But do it right in a sustainable way the weight will gradually come off.


    Try not to do too much too soon. Make sure you eat enough so that you don't feel deprived. If that means only losing 1/2lb per week then so be it. It's still 1/2lb and you will be making progress.



    Thanks so much, I think that is the issue with me too. I do expect to see results fast and try drastic changes and then give up. Like since 1/1/13 I wanted to lose some weight for by b'ay today, instead I have gained a couple of lbs since then...:(

    I think doing a little change in diet and little more movement in life and keep it consistent is the way to go, results will have to follow me. You are right TODAY is the day I should prepare my mind. If i don't help myself, then no one can.

    Thanks for the good words
  • FungusTrooper
    FungusTrooper Posts: 227 Member
    Happy Birthday! Make this the day to change.

    However, you have to want it. I've already sasid this in another post today, but:
    If you really want it you can do it.

    Keep it simple - no special 'diets', no cutting out food groups, no special pills, no starvation.

    Eat a little less (aiming to lose no more than 1 to 2 lbs per week)
    Move a little more

    It will take time. There is no quick fix. But do it right in a sustainable way the weight will gradually come off.


    Try not to do too much too soon. Make sure you eat enough so that you don't feel deprived. If that means only losing 1/2lb per week then so be it. It's still 1/2lb and you will be making progress.

    Exactly this. It took cancer and being far away from my partner for 6+ months to give me the motivation I needed.

    Different people need different things, but once you're in the right state of mind, mentally, it'll happen.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    Quite simply, if you want to do it, you will (barring a disorder of some type). You're going to have to find that within yourself.

    Here are two great posts that should give you some information to help you get started when you're ready:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/921403-yes-you-can-quick-start-guide-to-fat-loss

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/912920-in-place-of-a-road-map-3-2013

    Read them and really pay attention to what's being said, and if you're really prepared to make changes, you will.



    Best of luck :)

    Thanks for the info,, I will definitely give it a try.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Eat whatever you want, just stay under calorie. Once that stops being so hard, make healthier changes in your diet.
    It's a b*tch to try to start do everything all at once.
  • MHackrott
    MHackrott Posts: 84 Member
    Dont think of it as a diet and dont think of exercise as a chore. Think of them together as a lifestyle change for a long heatlthy fit life. Just eat healthy foods and get to the gym at least 4 days a week. I know you can do it! Dont keep putting it off saying tomorrow or Monday or the next Monday etc just start the change! And Happy Birthday :)
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    Happy Birthday! Make this the day to change.

    However, you have to want it. I've already sasid this in another post today, but:
    If you really want it you can do it.

    Keep it simple - no special 'diets', no cutting out food groups, no special pills, no starvation.

    Eat a little less (aiming to lose no more than 1 to 2 lbs per week)
    Move a little more

    It will take time. There is no quick fix. But do it right in a sustainable way the weight will gradually come off.


    Try not to do too much too soon. Make sure you eat enough so that you don't feel deprived. If that means only losing 1/2lb per week then so be it. It's still 1/2lb and you will be making progress.

    Exactly this. It took cancer and being far away from my partner for 6+ months to give me the motivation I needed.

    Different people need different things, but once you're in the right state of mind, mentally, it'll happen.


    Thanks so much. I am dealing with 2 cancer news in my family, but that should not give me excuse to stress eat, it should rather point me to being healthy. I don't know what it is going to take for me to get started.
  • RVfrog
    RVfrog Posts: 213 Member
    What I see, is you do a diet and lose and go off track . You try something else...lose and go off track. You are not making it a lifestyle change. You are dieting. Eat smaller amounts and stay on plan and you'll never have to change again....only when you reach goal....then you maintain. Hope you find a plan that works for the lifetime. Good Luck.
  • foot2wood
    foot2wood Posts: 149 Member
    All the advice so far is good. Take what you can from each and try looking at youtube motivational videos and start by tracking each and every single thing you put in your mouth here on MFP. You will see how much you need to cut and where you're going wrong. Certain foods you eat might actually be triggering more appetite. You have to do this for yourself, cause no one can do it for you. Don't feel so bad when you mess up and eat something or too much' just don NOT give up once you start. Happy Birthday.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    ever since 1/1/13 started I wanted to change my lifestyle and eat right, I have not done that even for 1 day. The more I think about losing weight and eating right, the more I eat and go off track...:( I just can not get started. It is my B'day today and I really want to set things straight. I am not sure if I have some sort of hidden stress or what, but I DO WANT TO CHANGE, but I can't. WHY? when I put food in my mouth, I am not hungry and I do think that I should not and I still put it in anyway....:(

    I keep thinking to leave carbs off for a week or two to get started and slowly add good carbs back in, but then think that is not good way to do I will just moderately eat everything, but the end of the day I feel bloated, stuffed, and disgusted....:(

    Anyone want to help me giving me the set food and amt for me to follow to get started? or any other tips to stay strong would be appreciated as well

    why? you are weak and are to busy feeling sorry for yourself that it distracts you from the most important step to and lifestyle change. That is, to start. Telling yourself you can't is just a story because somewhere in your subconscious you believe that you deserve to indulge yourself. Get over it. Pick any respectable diet and workout plan and follow it. It doesn't matter which one, just pick one.

    Might seem harsh and mean, but If I was you, I would want someone to punch me in the face if it mean't a step forward to the strongest version of myself. If MFP allowed me to swear this comment would probably have at least 20 f-bombs.


    Yes, It is ultimately ME. I understand, but I am really frustrated the way I have been since 1/1/13. I do know what has worked for me in the past and what it takes to consistently lose and keep it off, I still don't do it. That is why I wonder WHY I am like this? what is going to take for me to realize THIS IS IT?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    First of all - HAPPY BIRTHDAY!! :flowerforyou:

    When it comes to weight loss, a calorie deficit is the most important thing. Medical conditions may add additional rules, but that one rule is pretty steady.

    But when it comes to the psychology of weight loss, what works can vary greatly. For me, focusing on health makes the biggest difference. I like to look good as much as most people, but vanity alone has never been enough to keep me on track long term.

    You need to ask yourself why you want to lose weight, but more importantly, how do you want to live your life at a healthy weight. Don't think in the short term about losing X number of lbs. Think about how you want to live after you lose it. Then live that life. Don't let anyone derail you with their personal goals. If you don't want to join a gym, don't. If you don't want to eat low carb, don't (unless you need to for medical reasons). If you don't want to give up soda, don't. Etc.

    You may find these goals change over time, but always make sure they are you goals, and that you can be happy living with them.

    Good luck! You CAN do this. The only thing holding you back is you. And you are in control of you.
  • luckylei
    luckylei Posts: 19 Member
    A lot of us have been like that at one point or another. Or at a lot of points over and over again! As others said, it's mostly in your head (although I do think your body craves certain things, especially when your hormones are out of whack). It's so easy to get in the cycle of eating, beating yourself up, and then eating more because you feel bad about yourself. It's good to add some friends and get some encouragement. I don't keep a food diary, but if you decide to and make it accessible to your friends, it might help you feel more accountable/stay on track.

    Oh, and happy birthday!! :wink:
  • lkeverett1
    lkeverett1 Posts: 34 Member
    I was the same way. I would decide to "diet" and do good all day and then in the evening I would just go overboard and not even really want all the things I put into my mouth until I went to bed. I would promise myself that I would "really start" tomorrow and keep repeating the same process over and over again. I feel that I am on the right track now. I just cut back on food, I still ate what I wanted just not as much. I started moving more - I found it is easier to walk 10-15 minutes at a moderate pace than to try to do my exercising all at once. It started working! Now I have cut out some foods and I have started weighing/measuring my food. I still exercise 10-15 minutes at a time, but I try to do that at least three times per day. Start slow, you would be surprised at how much better you start feeling physically and emotionally. Good luck, you can do it.
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
    First, Happy Wonderful Birthday!

    Second, as you can see many people relate to what you are experiencing...it's called procrastination! When you commit, you will commit. No one can give you the magic words to make you do it.

    My advice? DON'T DIET! Give yourself permission to eat whatever you want - the catch? LOG it. Faithfully log it. It really wasn't until I started logging everything that it changed for me. When you write it down it makes you conscious of not only what you are eating, but how much you are eating. Writing it down has motivated me to make healthier food choices and manage my portions. I don't freak out of we are going out to eat. If I want something "fattening" I order it, and eat less of it. The scale is finally budging. I was exercising and being active, but I was eating WAY too much.

    Everyday is a new beginning! Stay away from regrets over yesterday and focus on today, and on what you want to achieve. I think a big problem is that everyone wants instant gratification - but you know what? Your birthday will roll around again next year and will you still be asking yourself the same wrong questions - like why you are NOT doing something? Or will you have given your WANTS some wings?

    A goal is an intention with legs. Take action. It's the only thing that works.
  • retiree2006
    retiree2006 Posts: 951 Member
    Give yourself the best birthday present...the choice to start today. If you have cake...just take half as much...and celebrate knowing that in one year you'll be "reborn" in a healthier body. Concentrate on one day at a time and if you have a "bad day" once in awhile...so what...it's the long haul that matters. Forgive and move on. Eat a smaller portion of the less healthy foods and add a lot more veggies and fruits. They'll help fill you up so you aren't hungry. It's a matter of substituting better foods. And move...even if it's to take a walk, play a sport or head to a gym. Each good thing you do for yourself is an added gift to YOU. And yes, those who succeed and keep off the weight haven't been on a diet. They've changed their way of eating and learned how to include all the things they have always loved, but in moderation.

    Have a great first day of becoming healthier.
  • ForMyAngelBaby
    ForMyAngelBaby Posts: 123 Member
    That is why I wonder WHY I am like this? what is going to take for me to realize THIS IS IT?

    This is something that we can't tell you. You have to figure this out on your own. Once you make that self-discovery you will be well on your way.

    What triggers weight loss is different for everyone. For me, I tried and failed a thousand times. It took me having a miscarriage in November to realize that I needed to get healthier. For me, it's not about the weight loss, but it's about being healthy. The weight loss comes as an added bonus.

    YOU have to find that trigger, that thing that's going to make YOU tick and motivate YOU.
  • Missellaneous02
    Missellaneous02 Posts: 70 Member
    I would agree with what others have said.
    Work on your self control most importantly. Just say NO to yourself, no matter how much that food is calling to you.
    Take baby steps. Try just logging the food first. Once you start doing that consistently try eating in the appropriate calorie range. This may takes weeks or months but it's a start.
    Weight loss takes a lot of self control and patience and I feel like everyone struggles with this at first not just you.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    That is why I wonder WHY I am like this? what is going to take for me to realize THIS IS IT?

    This is something that we can't tell you. You have to figure this out on your own. Once you make that self-discovery you will be well on your way.

    What triggers weight loss is different for everyone. For me, I tried and failed a thousand times. It took me having a miscarriage in November to realize that I needed to get healthier. For me, it's not about the weight loss, but it's about being healthy. The weight loss comes as an added bonus.

    YOU have to find that trigger, that thing that's going to make YOU tick and motivate YOU.



    Thanks a lot!!! I will seriously give it a try from today.
  • chayleah
    chayleah Posts: 51 Member
    Sometimes the prospect of a "lifestyle change" is too overwhelming. Make a list of 5 healthy habits you want to incorporate...like drink more water, cut down on soda, eat one green veggie everyday, walk 2 miles, etc. Then pick one, just one of those habits and focus on that for 2 weeks. After you have mastered one habit, choose another. The small victories may give you more confidence to continue to make changes.
  • zichab
    zichab Posts: 1,491 Member
    First, Happy Wonderful Birthday!

    Second, as you can see many people relate to what you are experiencing...it's called procrastination! When you commit, you will commit. No one can give you the magic words to make you do it.

    My advice? DON'T DIET! Give yourself permission to eat whatever you want - the catch? LOG it. Faithfully log it. It really wasn't until I started logging everything that it changed for me. When you write it down it makes you conscious of not only what you are eating, but how much you are eating. Writing it down has motivated me to make healthier food choices and manage my portions. I don't freak out of we are going out to eat. If I want something "fattening" I order it, and eat less of it. The scale is finally budging. I was exercising and being active, but I was eating WAY too much.

    Everyday is a new beginning! Stay away from regrets over yesterday and focus on today, and on what you want to achieve. I think a big problem is that everyone wants instant gratification - but you know what? Your birthday will roll around again next year and will you still be asking yourself the same wrong questions - like why you are NOT doing something? Or will you have given your WANTS some wings?

    A goal is an intention with legs. Take action. It's the only thing that works.

    This is the best advice ever! No "diet" will ever work because food is an individual experience. Look at some of the open diaries on MFP and you will be amazed! No two are alike because people are "snowflakes" when it comes to the food they like to eat, when they like to eat and what they choose to make their "indulgences." The thing they all have in common is portion control. So, eat what you are used to, like and want, but LOG IT. Slowly, you will begin to make changes based on your preferences and as long as you have your calories set correctly, you will drop the pounds. You probably did not gain all the weight you want to lose in a week and you will not lose it in a week. Happy Birthday and vow to be at your goal weight for your next birthday! Less pressure that way as well :laugh:
  • Pinkkfrost
    Pinkkfrost Posts: 29 Member
    First, Happy Wonderful Birthday!

    Second, as you can see many people relate to what you are experiencing...it's called procrastination! When you commit, you will commit. No one can give you the magic words to make you do it.

    My advice? DON'T DIET! Give yourself permission to eat whatever you want - the catch? LOG it. Faithfully log it. It really wasn't until I started logging everything that it changed for me. When you write it down it makes you conscious of not only what you are eating, but how much you are eating. Writing it down has motivated me to make healthier food choices and manage my portions. I don't freak out of we are going out to eat. If I want something "fattening" I order it, and eat less of it. The scale is finally budging. I was exercising and being active, but I was eating WAY too much.

    Everyday is a new beginning! Stay away from regrets over yesterday and focus on today, and on what you want to achieve. I think a big problem is that everyone wants instant gratification - but you know what? Your birthday will roll around again next year and will you still be asking yourself the same wrong questions - like why you are NOT doing something? Or will you have given your WANTS some wings?

    A goal is an intention with legs. Take action. It's the only thing that works.

    ^This is perfect.
    Log everything. You will aspire to lower calories so you don't shame yourself. Then you will aspire to exercise so you can eat more calories. Then the food you will eat will be healthier and you can eat more of it. Then the exercise will make you feel better so you do it all the time no matter what. It's a snowball effect, and it's beautiful and fun, and for some of us who need motivation this site is perfect. Log everything!
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    Sometimes the prospect of a "lifestyle change" is too overwhelming. Make a list of 5 healthy habits you want to incorporate...like drink more water, cut down on soda, eat one green veggie everyday, walk 2 miles, etc. Then pick one, just one of those habits and focus on that for 2 weeks. After you have mastered one habit, choose another. The small victories may give you more confidence to continue to make changes.

    AWESOME IDEA!! I AM GOING TO DO THIS.
  • pinkupooh
    pinkupooh Posts: 155
    First, Happy Wonderful Birthday!

    Second, as you can see many people relate to what you are experiencing...it's called procrastination! When you commit, you will commit. No one can give you the magic words to make you do it.

    My advice? DON'T DIET! Give yourself permission to eat whatever you want - the catch? LOG it. Faithfully log it. It really wasn't until I started logging everything that it changed for me. When you write it down it makes you conscious of not only what you are eating, but how much you are eating. Writing it down has motivated me to make healthier food choices and manage my portions. I don't freak out of we are going out to eat. If I want something "fattening" I order it, and eat less of it. The scale is finally budging. I was exercising and being active, but I was eating WAY too much.

    Everyday is a new beginning! Stay away from regrets over yesterday and focus on today, and on what you want to achieve. I think a big problem is that everyone wants instant gratification - but you know what? Your birthday will roll around again next year and will you still be asking yourself the same wrong questions - like why you are NOT doing something? Or will you have given your WANTS some wings?

    A goal is an intention with legs. Take action. It's the only thing that works.

    This is the best advice ever! No "diet" will ever work because food is an individual experience. Look at some of the open diaries on MFP and you will be amazed! No two are alike because people are "snowflakes" when it comes to the food they like to eat, when they like to eat and what they choose to make their "indulgences." The thing they all have in common is portion control. So, eat what you are used to, like and want, but LOG IT. Slowly, you will begin to make changes based on your preferences and as long as you have your calories set correctly, you will drop the pounds. You probably did not gain all the weight you want to lose in a week and you will not lose it in a week. Happy Birthday and vow to be at your goal weight for your next birthday! Less pressure that way as well :laugh:


    Thanks, I had really thought I was on right path and I had found key to success when I first started MFP in last march. Not sure when I got off track and back at how much I weighed last Jan...:( I really wanted to make big news on b'day regarding weight loss and healthy life style. Well, Let me not get discouraged any further and TAKE THAT STEP for my next bday....:)

    I would like to thank everyone who has responded to my msg with their support and advises...:)