I give up

I started this off GREAT....now this is where I am...
Been eating really bad for the past 2 weeks. Also only worked out twice as well. There is where the "fat me" takes over and wins. I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want. What do I have to gain being fit? Nothing. This is where "health" should be important to me, but to be honest, I can can care less. I know I ultimately want to be sexy and finally have my husband tell I'm beautiful, but right now this isn't the time. I know I am screwed up in the head. I have been through hell and back mentally the past 3 years. Always being brought down and made to feel like **** but the one person who should be building me up. My therapist wants to help me fix this so I don't give up on my fitness goals but she sure is taking her sweet *kitten* time and now here I am, giving up. Those 5 pounds I lost in 4 weeks also really screwed me up. I got my feeling of success...that's all I needed. To hell with losing more, right? Plus really, ONLY 5 pounds in FOUR WEEKS?!?! My life is so effed up and the whole entire world is resting on my shoulders and no one will help take the load off. So I don't have time for the least important person...me. I know I am really emotional and I would love to keep trying...so I won't be eating 4000 calories a day, but I am also probably done logging and exercising for awhile. If I wake up one day feeling great and energized, I'll pop Insanity back in. I will continue to keep portion control in my mind but....I have been defeated.
«1

Replies

  • JMJ1983
    JMJ1983 Posts: 170 Member
    The timing may just not be right....The desire has to come from within yourself and you have to want it more than you've ever wanted anything...You have to have patience and discipline to eat the right foods everyday, limit the "bad" stuff to special occassions and be dedicated to exercising and moving...

    If outside forces are telling you need to lose weight and that was your reason, it's not going to work, it only works if the desire comes from within.

    5 pounds in 4 weeks is outstanding, that's 1.25 pounds a week!!!

    The ultimate decision is yours, you can keep going as honestly you barely have even started or give up, go back to bad habits and be content with you body the way it is/getting bigger.
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
    First of all you're gorgeous, second go back and read your profile. Don't give up, its hard but worth it! Think of your kids, don't you want to set a good example for them. If you need someone to vent to, or cry to or cheer you on I will be that person for you. I am a stay at home mom of 4 kids and I know how hard it is to think of yourself. Please add me, I have 2 friends and I will be here for you if you need me. :flowerforyou:
  • bostonwolf
    bostonwolf Posts: 3,038 Member
    What you put in your body is your choice. What you do for exercise is your choice.

    Just don't complain about the inevitable results (which you aren't) when those choices catch up to you at a far younger age than they do with people who choose better.
  • olDave
    olDave Posts: 557 Member
    The timing may just not be right....The desire has to come from within yourself and you have to want it more than you've ever wanted anything...You have to have patience and discipline to eat the right foods everyday, limit the "bad" stuff to special occassions and be dedicated to exercising and moving...

    If outside forces are telling you need to lose weight and that was your reason, it's not going to work, it only works if the desire comes from within.

    5 pounds in 4 weeks is outstanding, that's 1.25 pounds a week!!!

    The ultimate decision is yours, you can keep going as honestly you barely have even started or give up, go back to bad habits and be content with you body the way it is/getting bigger.

    ^^^THIS^^^

    PS - I've been there. It will pass.
  • quiksylver296
    quiksylver296 Posts: 28,439 Member
    If someone else had written your post, what would you tell them? Then do that.
  • kathypr14
    kathypr14 Posts: 2 Member
    DON'T GIVE UP! You're a beautiful girl! If you need support and motivation I'll help you out, but DON'T GIVE UP!!! So you ate bad these past two weeks so what it's ok! Get back to eating healthy. Sometimes the pounds don't come off the way we want it to but at the end it will all be worth it I promise you that.
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
    Five pounds in four weeks is a healthy and sustainable loss. That is acually more than I aim for. Be proud of your progress. Five pounds a month is 60 lbs in a year.
  • CorvusCorax77
    CorvusCorax77 Posts: 2,536 Member
    I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want. What do I have to gain being fit? Nothing. This is where "health" should be important to me, but to be honest, I can can care less. ....but I am also probably done logging and exercising for awhile. If I wake up one day feeling great and energized, I'll pop Insanity back in. I will continue to keep portion control in my mind but....I have been defeated.

    you say you are happier being fat, are you really? Because you refer to yourself as defeated.

    I'm going to assume you are NOT happy being fat, and if I'm wrong, just ignore me. You have three choices:

    (1) give up, stay fat
    (2) give yourself a break, come back later, if you think that is possible
    (3) recognize that YOU ARE WORTH IT and just get back to it.

    I advocate for #3, only because you seem like you are damned unhappy and if anything is going to make you happy, it has to come from within yourself and the best way to find that is to show yourself that you care about yourself by taking good care of yourself. Plus, you can have a lot of fun exercising. And exercise releases endorphins. And food is not the enemy, it just needs to be balanced.

    Your call.
  • Five pounds in four weeks is a healthy and sustainable loss. That is acually more than I aim for. Be proud of your progress. Five pounds a month is 60 lbs in a year.

    This! 60 lbs in a year!!
  • I know how you feel. Trust me, I do. I know sometimes it feels like NO ONE understands, I have given up on myself so many times and I always regret it. It took me FOUR MONTHS to lose FOUR pounds, and guess what I did? I gave up. and Now I'm 16 pounds heavier and back at square one, and it is NOT a good feeling. Remember why you started, remember that you ARE beautiful and important and you deserve just as much attention as you are giving to other people. Don't give up on yourself. You will see that the battles that you will face don't have HALF the strength that you have. If you need support, add me. I'll be there for you.
  • tjjotoad
    tjjotoad Posts: 22 Member
    We've all been here. I will tell you this, your statement, "..the least important person...me", is the root of all these issues (in my humble opinion of course). Make yourself the most important person in your life and it will all fall in line. I know, every mom says that's impossible, but it isn't. You have to throw away the guilt and just do it. Good luck girl, don't give up.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
    The timing may just not be right....The desire has to come from within yourself and you have to want it more than you've ever wanted anything...You have to have patience and discipline to eat the right foods everyday, limit the "bad" stuff to special occassions and be dedicated to exercising and moving...

    If outside forces are telling you need to lose weight and that was your reason, it's not going to work, it only works if the desire comes from within.

    5 pounds in 4 weeks is outstanding, that's 1.25 pounds a week!!!

    The ultimate decision is yours, you can keep going as honestly you barely have even started or give up, go back to bad habits and be content with you body the way it is/getting bigger.

    Pretty much this... and I might add that it isn't the therapist job to fix you, if you are waiting on that you will be waiting a long time.. He or She is there to listen and give you the tools but ultimately you have to be the one to put in the work and fix yourself.. I know this cause I have been in therapy since 2009 when I finally hit rock bottom and wanted to fix me... It is not easy and it will take alot of hard work and the most important part is you have to want it or you will just be spinning your wheels..... The 5 lbs. in 4 weeks is fantastic, I average just under 2 lbs. a week and it all adds up (look at my ticker) You just have to wrap your head around the fact this is for the rest of your life, there is no quick fix so the speed of the process should be of no concern to you.... Take it one day at a time and put in the work...... Best of Luck
  • I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want. What do I have to gain being fit? Nothing. This is where "health" should be important to me, but to be honest, I can can care less. ....but I am also probably done logging and exercising for awhile. If I wake up one day feeling great and energized, I'll pop Insanity back in. I will continue to keep portion control in my mind but....I have been defeated.

    you say you are happier being fat, are you really? Because you refer to yourself as defeated.

    I'm going to assume you are NOT happy being fat, and if I'm wrong, just ignore me. You have three choices:

    (1) give up, stay fat
    (2) give yourself a break, come back later, if you think that is possible
    (3) recognize that YOU ARE WORTH IT and just get back to it.

    I advocate for #3, only because you seem like you are damned unhappy and if anything is going to make you happy, it has to come from within yourself and the best way to find that is to show yourself that you care about yourself by taking good care of yourself. Plus, you can have a lot of fun exercising. And exercise releases endorphins. And food is not the enemy, it just needs to be balanced.

    Your call.

    ^^I agree with this. YOU ARE WORTH IT.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want.

    I made that exact choice a few years ago. Dieting was too hard and progress was too slow.

    You know why? Because I was MAKING it too hard and setting my expectations too high. I was eating too little, which made it unsustainable and unsatisfying.

    THIS time around, I was never hungry or dissatisfied. I ate foods I loved, but in portions that allowed me to have a calorie deficit. Because that's all you need. A deficit. It doesn't have to be a huge deficit, just a deficit. Well... not ALL you need. You need time and patience, too.

    So you lost five pounds in a month. That's pretty normal. Where do you want to be in 12 months? The same place you are now, or down 60 pounds?
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    If someone else had written your post, what would you tell them? Then do that.
    As above!
  • Energizer06
    Energizer06 Posts: 311 Member
    Are you really giving something up after you only do it for 1 month? Not in my book. Especially if 2 of those weeks you ate bad and didn't exercise. So did you really ever start. Find a pity forum....we are committed people here. Achieve goals, reach success, and put in a hell of a lot of hard work to do it. That's reality. Why even post an I give up forum, when you didn't even start. The majority of people on here are hard azz workers trying to reach a common goal....be healthy.
  • rosiereally2
    rosiereally2 Posts: 539 Member
    So what are you going to do? Just lie down and die? Life and time will continue to march on regardless, so 4 weeks from now, would you rather be happier and healthier, or stuck right where you are?
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    If someone else had written your post, what would you tell them? Then do that.

    I double this statement! Good Statement.
  • phatsoslim
    phatsoslim Posts: 257 Member
    You MUST do this for yourself and nobody else. YOU are the important one here. You can't do it for your kids, you can't do it so that your husband is attracted to you. He already is...you have 2 children and they want their Mum around to watch them grow. You have to put yourself first. I know that's hard when you have small children...But without YOU, they won't get to see their Mum watch them. I know it's hard, I've been there. The weight that you gained did not come on overnight and it's not going to come off overnight. It takes time. If you can't find the time right now to workout, concentrate on eating better. You can't out train a bad diet. So even if you were to workout 6 days a week and still eat like crap...nothing is going to change. If you can get your eating sorted out first, you will start to notice a difference in how you feel and look and then that motivation will kick in and the workouts will follow. Even if your workouts are going for walks with your family...that's a start. Always remember that you are the important one in your life, because without YOU, there is no life.
  • Blondie251975
    Blondie251975 Posts: 58 Member
    I feel your pain! I have had some mental health issues in the last few years that got me to where I am today. I basically had to hit a rock bottom for me. I would love to help you get through this! Please, don't give up. You are beautiful, and you are worth it. There are many people who most likely think very highly of you and need you!!! Please, if you would like an understanding ear, call me.....send me a PM, and I will give you my number.

    I am sorry you are having a tough time. This too shall pass.
  • MiracleMiles
    MiracleMiles Posts: 19 Member
    I would have to agree with the other lady that said you ARE gorgeous and you don't need someone in your life to validate your beauty. You have to love yourself before you can love another; if your significant other can't appreciate you for who you are (fat or thin), the problem ISN"T YOU. Anyone who consistently finds fault with others will never find happiness with themselves and they are ultimately incapable of loving or being emotionally responsible in a relationship. From one "fat" girl to another, I get that you are frustrated-- I am right there with you-- I weigh 322 pds and I have only lost 14pds in a month and a half. I suffered a heart attack on Valentine's Day BECAUSE I had the very defeated and apathetic attitude that you have now. If you can't change for yourself, than focus on your family and the people who need you and truly love you. Find some real support, not some paid professional who doesn't know you--sign up for some over eaters anonymous classes and find a real network of people who are going to build you up, not tear you down. You can lose the weight, it doesn't happen over night and its not going to be easy. It's more about the journey, than the destination-- you know you will get there, just slow down, take a breathe and enjoy life because it's a gift and you only get one shot at this one.
  • Sorry to hear you feel so down! I agree with everyone else, you're gorgeous in your profile pic! It's early days yet, it's a big adjustment to make, 5 pounds in 4 weeks is amazing and probably bang on what you should be aiming for depending on what your stats are now.

    The way I look at it, you actually can't give up. Sure, you might stop exercising and logging for a bit, but food still needs to go in and out, the key is what food and how much. You've already said you're not going to go completely crazy, so you're still on the spectrum of being aware of what you're eating. What is it you feel like you're struggling with diet-wise that is causing you to feel like you can't do it? Are you hungry, do you crave sweet food, do you lead a busy life and find it hard to make healthy food fit in with your routine? I sympathise with your low mood, obviously I don't know your circumstances, but I do know how hard it is to have the spark and energy when you feel so crushed by life. But regardless, you'll still eat and feed your children, even just a couple of small simple changes can help. We've replaces beef mince with turkey mince as a less calorific alternative, make a big batch of bolognese or chilli and you'll have lighter meals for a week, I've also replaced my snacks with smaller versions, if you have a sweet tooth, try and get smaller versions if they're available, I've fallen in love with the break-size rice crispie bars, I know they're not the healthiest, they're my kryptonite, but satisfaction-wise I feel just as good after the smaller one as the full size one.

    I hope you feel better soon. We'll be waiting for you if / when you want to come back!
  • Ready2Rock206
    Ready2Rock206 Posts: 9,487 Member
    1. If you really wanted to give up you wouldn't post something to have people encourage you not to.
    2. If you were really happy as you are you wouldn't post such a defeated post.
    3. You lost over a pound a week - this isn't the Biggest Loser - you did great.
    4. Weight loss isn't instant - it does take work - and if you want it you will do the work, but don't put out a load of crap about how you don't care and you're happy - because you do care and you don't sound happy.

    Some days suck, but I can see a spark in your post. I think you do want it and you do care. Maybe you're not to the point where you are ready yet, but I don't think you're too far away. Hope we'll be seeing you back here soon with that spark as a full on fire.
  • jaynalawayna
    jaynalawayna Posts: 80 Member
    Take a walk and give yourself some alone time.
  • Umeboshi
    Umeboshi Posts: 1,637 Member
    I say give up and be happy being fat. Only lose weight if it makes YOU happy. If it doesn't, work on health at your current size, enjoy your current body, and just be happy.
  • aeg176
    aeg176 Posts: 171 Member
    I started this off GREAT....now this is where I am...
    Been eating really bad for the past 2 weeks. Also only worked out twice as well. There is where the "fat me" takes over and wins. I am happier being fat and being able to eat whatever I want. What do I have to gain being fit? Nothing. This is where "health" should be important to me, but to be honest, I can can care less. I know I ultimately want to be sexy and finally have my husband tell I'm beautiful, but right now this isn't the time. I know I am screwed up in the head. I have been through hell and back mentally the past 3 years. Always being brought down and made to feel like **** but the one person who should be building me up. My therapist wants to help me fix this so I don't give up on my fitness goals but she sure is taking her sweet *kitten* time and now here I am, giving up. Those 5 pounds I lost in 4 weeks also really screwed me up. I got my feeling of success...that's all I needed. To hell with losing more, right? Plus really, ONLY 5 pounds in FOUR WEEKS?!?! My life is so effed up and the whole entire world is resting on my shoulders and no one will help take the load off. So I don't have time for the least important person...me. I know I am really emotional and I would love to keep trying...so I won't be eating 4000 calories a day, but I am also probably done logging and exercising for awhile. If I wake up one day feeling great and energized, I'll pop Insanity back in. I will continue to keep portion control in my mind but....I have been defeated.

    I have held myself back from writing the same exact post 3 times just this week alone. I know exactly how you are feeling believe me! If weight loss were easy then everyone would be doing it and people wouldn't have weight problems to begin with. I have commitedly been trying(again) at this since 12/10/2012 and I haven't lost a single pound! It is SO discouraging it makes you feel... why am I doing this in the first place? What keeps me going is to read peoples success stories and see their pics. I want this so bad and while I may be thrown off track every once in a while (daily) I know the only way in my heart this is gonna happen is if I give it a good chance to work. I met someone on here that told me about this poster she saw that said "give it 12 weeks". She promised it would be some of the hardest weeks of my life but if I stuck it out til then and gave it all I got then I could give up if i didn't see results. Well it will be 12 weeks for me around the end of this month (I took a few days off here and there). Finally today when I was getting dressed for work I noticed my pants were fitting a little looser. Not a huge feat but its proof that all the hard work I have put in is beginning to pay off. Maybe you just need a break to get your head straight and get back on this wagon. You can do this and you have great people and a great site to help you do that. Good luck with your journey I hope you don't just give up. Im here if you want to friend me we can do this together if you wish...Im here! :flowerforyou:
  • JessieLMay
    JessieLMay Posts: 146 Member
    Are you really giving something up after you only do it for 1 month? Not in my book. Especially if 2 of those weeks you ate bad and didn't exercise. So did you really ever start. Find a pity forum....we are committed people here. Achieve goals, reach success, and put in a hell of a lot of hard work to do it. That's reality. Why even post an I give up forum, when you didn't even start. The majority of people on here are hard azz workers trying to reach a common goal....be healthy.

    It is also a place for support and encouragement. This isnt the site for you if you are going to talk down to people. Also 4 weeks then my 2 weeks.
  • bajoyba
    bajoyba Posts: 1,153 Member
    You have to figure out what is really going to make you happy, and then do that. If you really do prefer to be larger, that's okay. Sometimes I look at my butt in the mirror and start to miss its exceptional size. But my ultimate goal is to have a strong, healthy body, so I'm willing to sacrifice a little back to make that happen!
    The hardest part about weight loss, at least for me, is the mental battle. Sometimes results are slower than I'd like, or I don't want to exercise, or I feel like eating a 1,000 calorie basket of mozzarella sticks, or I just feel ugly. It's really easy to get down on yourself.
    But what I keep telling myself and any other person who is trying to make a lifestyle change is this: there is no finish line. As long as I'm breathing, I have the opportunity to improve. The only way to fail is to give up on my goals. Having a bad week, month, or year is not a failure. It just means you got off track temporarily. But any step toward your goal, no matter how small, is a step in the right direction.
    I wish you happiness and good luck with your goals. If you decide to stay on MFP and give it another shot, feel free to add me!
  • michelle7673
    michelle7673 Posts: 370 Member
    I could say so many things, but the one that is talking the loudest in my head is --I have been where you are. The one thing I keep telling myself is that tomorrow I can be just that tiny bit stronger, just because I didn't stop putting one foot in front of the other. And I swear to you that it is working.
    Send me a friend request, please, if you want to.
  • veggieluver2
    veggieluver2 Posts: 70 Member
    My first thought was "pull yourself up by your bootstraps and get back on the horse!" I know this is easier said than done. I'm in a slump myself right now. I'm a little burned out on the gym and trying to eat right and log my calories. I've been overeating my calories for a month and not giving it my all at the gym. But, I'm going to keep getting up in the a.m. and hitting the gym--even if I only spend 20 minutes in there, it's better than no time.