He called off the wedding....

2

Replies

  • IHAVEPMS247
    IHAVEPMS247 Posts: 70 Member
    I can understand how you do not want your sister to be in an unhealthy relationship. Hopefully she realizes he is not in the best mental state and they should postpone the wedding? If not, just continue to be there for her... Best of luck on this one!
  • Jewles1285
    Jewles1285 Posts: 119
    Sorry you have to deal with that. Honestly I wouldn't blame you for getting involved and having a talk with your sister. IMO one of the things wrong with this society is this idea that even family members should keep their nose out of their family members' business. That's BS. Isn't family about looking out for each other? Sure if it was some acquaintance I might sit back and watch but when you see a sister/brother etc make decisions that could have long term bad effects then you're right to butt in. It may not make you popular for a while but so what? At least you did something to possibly help her and talk some sense into her.

    exactly what my older sister did and continues to do for me and i for her!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,285 Member
    I have no advice but I find it kinda sad that the ads on the page are for engagement rings. Ad words can be very insensitive.
  • jeslaughter
    jeslaughter Posts: 131 Member
    Mind ya bidness.


    (seriously though)

    that is life...so yeah you gotta myob and let them deal with it
  • Guns_N_Buns
    Guns_N_Buns Posts: 1,899 Member
    I f'in HATE the father of my two nieces. Always have. Always will. But I hate breaking my sister's heart by drilling her with my feelings toward him and what I think of her for going back with him constantly. I stay out of it. As long as my nieces aren't in danger, I won't be wasting any ammo or air.

    Rest assured that at least your parents learned a bigger lesson.
  • nataliescalories
    nataliescalories Posts: 292 Member
    ...I don't know why some of these comments are so brash. Just because it's not my life, does NOT mean I shouldn't care or be concerned. What kind of sister would I be if I didn't care?
    Obviously some of you aren't very family oriented.
    As I've said in like 3 other responses, I do not plan on getting involved.

    Yeah, I definitely think your sister is your business. I'd have a good heart-to-heart talk with her 1) about marrying so young and 2) about marrying someone...let's say...less than ideal. This can be done without making her hate you. Instead of focusing on what's wrong with the guy, I'd focus on how marriage might impact her life overall and on finding some goals she might have for her life that may clash with marrying so young.
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
    now that you've gotten it off your chest, let it go, its not worth your energy
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    I will say if my little sister was getting engaged at 18, especially in a relationship like you described, I'd contemplate keeping her locked up for a few years.

    It works for some people...just not for this "couple".
    lol

    That young works for very few and virtually none in that volatile a relationship. Hence why I said "especially in a relationship like you described".

    Also...
    mound isn't grammatically correct either.

    facepalm. THAT was a joke.

    If you're going to take issue with the people who are supporting your distaste of the situation you're going to find yourself very lonely indeed.

    ?

    I don't get it...lol I was not trying to be rude.
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    I have no advice but I find it kinda sad that the ads on the page are for engagement rings. Ad words can be very insensitive.

    LOL

    Well played, MyFitnessPal, well played.
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    I f'in HATE the father of my two nieces. Always have. Always will. But I hate breaking my sister's heart by drilling her with my feelings toward him and what I think of her for going back with him constantly. I stay out of it. As long as my nieces aren't in danger, I won't be wasting any ammo or air.

    Rest assured that at least your parents learned a bigger lesson.

    I feel really bad for my mom though...it's hard for her too. It's not like we're the richest people in the world either. Plus, I'm getting married this year too!
    That's also why this subject is crazy to me, because I don't want to bring up or talk about weddings AT ALLLLL with anyone at this point!
    /: sucks to suck.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
    You're the crazy sister of the family.
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    You're the crazy sister of the family.

    uglycrying.gif
  • Stogie40
    Stogie40 Posts: 164 Member
    I love the people that say mind your own business....sorry bidness. You look out for family and family looks out for you. If I saw my parents being F’d over I would be pissed. And if someone hurt my sister, again pissed. She didn’t say she was doing anything anyway, she was just venting. But if your sister won't listen, letting her learn the hard way may be the only way.
  • buckmeatball
    buckmeatball Posts: 39 Member
    So, they "always fight" and have a terrible relationship and you're upset that one selfish person broke off the wedding to another 18 year old selfish person? I agree, you should fight tooth and nail to get those two back together so your folks can get their money's worth.
  • pudadough
    pudadough Posts: 1,271 Member
    All I can say is that this is not all in your head. You are absolutely right in being livid and concerned. Crazy talk, all of it. But sadly, if your sister wants to make these kinds of mistakes she's going to. It's rough, I know. I have three older brothers and often feel like I'm the only adult out of all of us. Siblings, man...
  • taylorwaylor
    taylorwaylor Posts: 417 Member
    Pisses me off and i dont even know them, lol.
  • SANDRA_F26
    SANDRA_F26 Posts: 180
    I think you should write a letter to your sister freak out express all your feelings get it out seriously like if she were right in front of you. then read it mayb once or twice if you want and then burn it im hoping this will help you focas your anger blow off some steam and help you let go some of your anger. I was in a kind of a kind of a simular situation with a sibling was my brother. He tried to commit suicide . . . . he wont a letter to our mom but like as close as we always were growing up he never said anything to me I gues what hurt the most was he wasnt going to say good bye that kind of always ate at me. that and he was heavy in to the drugs was abusing our father and as much as I tried to offer my help , love and guidance as his older sister who fricken loves his *kitten* more then words there was just nothing I can say or do that will change the situation. He's still up to the same tricks and i have to accept the things I can not change the curage to change the things i cand and pray for the wisdom to know the differance. o looky there Ive written a novel. haha
  • clarkeje1
    clarkeje1 Posts: 1,641 Member
    People can be dumb, you can't control it. Yeah it sucks but at least its not you. I would just say focus on yourself.
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    So, they "always fight" and have a terrible relationship and you're upset that one selfish person broke off the wedding to another 18 year old selfish person? I agree, you should fight tooth and nail to get those two back together so your folks can get their money's worth.

    I was going to reply back to this, but I don't even know where to begin.
    Lol, so never mind!
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    Unfortunately this is her life to mess up. The best thing for you to do is be there for her when she needs you. And if things are as bad as you say she'll need you quite a lot if she stays with him. As for your parents paying for the wedding? Thats on them. Let them deal with it and don't get involved. They're grown ups and can handle that on their own. If they paid and are out the money let them speak up if they want to. This is your sisters relationship not yours. Best to keep your opinions to yourself unless asked by your sister and even then try to be diplomatic about it. You don't want to tick her off to the point where she won't come to you again if she needed to. Listen to her more than anything but don't dictate or get in her face about her. That won't accomplish anything but resentment from her.
  • Rose_bee
    Rose_bee Posts: 226 Member
    I agree - totally insane behavior by the teenagers'.

    If she's willing to listen, I'd let her know you hope she finds happiness. And that you'll always be there to support/help her, no matter what happens.

    Source: My half-sister is certifiably crazy (truly - 3 times in the psych ward). I can't do anything about her craziness or her poor choices, but I can do my best to offer her advice (that she likely won't take), and let her know that if (or rather, when) it all comes crashing down I'll help her get back on her feet again.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    I love the people that say mind your own business....sorry bidness. You look out for family and family looks out for you. If I saw my parents being F’d over I would be pissed. And if someone hurt my sister, again pissed. She didn’t say she was doing anything anyway, she was just venting. But if your sister won't listen, letting her learn the hard way may be the only way.

    Well thats what a brother is for. They should be there to deck the dude who wrongs his sister. As a sister its different. We listen and give advice as carefully as possible trying not to step on toes. When our daughter is upset by a guy she's dating our youngest son hears about it and confronts the guy. Nearly knocked a guy out once because of how he treated his big sister. Inside I was cheering but outside I had to tell my son you can't go around beating people up. Because as a mom thats what I'm supposed to do. I"m not supposed to encourage my children to beat people up. But boy was I proud of my son for standing up for his sister. :wink:
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    Sit back, crack a beer (or your beverage of choice) and watch the carnage unfold. Then, when your sister removes her cranium from her rectum you can be there to console her (while trying not to laugh and say I told you so). Young, dysfunctional love is often tragic and amusing.
  • fit4lifeUcan2
    fit4lifeUcan2 Posts: 1,458 Member
    I agree - totally insane behavior by the teenagers'.

    If she's willing to listen, I'd let her know you hope she finds happiness. And that you'll always be there to support/help her, no matter what happens.

    Source: My half-sister is certifiably crazy (truly - 3 times in the psych ward). I can't do anything about her craziness or her poor choices, but I can do my best to offer her advice (that she likely won't take), and let her know that if (or rather, when) it all comes crashing down I'll help her get back on her feet again.

    Exactly!
  • cakemewithyou
    cakemewithyou Posts: 132 Member
    I love the people that say mind your own business....sorry bidness. You look out for family and family looks out for you. If I saw my parents being F’d over I would be pissed. And if someone hurt my sister, again pissed. She didn’t say she was doing anything anyway, she was just venting. But if your sister won't listen, letting her learn the hard way may be the only way.

    THANK YOU!

    Rude *kitten* lol
  • NikoM5
    NikoM5 Posts: 488 Member
    I've never understood the point of spending a bunch of money on a wedding. I'm not really big into marriage anyways but I'd prefer to elope if I was going to get married.
  • haroon_awan
    haroon_awan Posts: 1,208 Member
    Have you seen Four Weddings and A Funeral?

    Your story reminded me the part where Hugh Grant's brother speaks out at one of the weddings.

    Go watch it. Brilliant film.
  • Tachyonic
    Tachyonic Posts: 64 Member
    I really don't want to generalize here, but these are my thoughts on the matter:

    I see it all the time: boys in the military try to "grow up" too fast. I don't think it's always malicious. I was in an on-and-off relationship with a kid in the military who told me he was going to propose to me; we broke up three months later because he paid me little to no attention, and he changed his mind about me (I guess, vice versa about him, too).

    I see military couples (often, the boy is in the military and the girl is following him wherever he goes) getting married six months after they start dating, in high school, or while the soldier/sailor/marine is on leave for only a week. I don't think it's healthy. At all.

    That being said, I don't want to say that being in a relationship with a military man/woman is always bad. I've seen a few good relationships, too. But I think it's WAY too easy for a military man to sweep a woman off her feet with promises of engagement, sexy uniforms, and discipline. I think it's irresponsible of men to propose to women when they know they can't give their full (or even half of their) attention for 5, 10, or 15 years.
  • buckmeatball
    buckmeatball Posts: 39 Member
    It was totally tongue in cheek but here are a couple of observations.

    1. They have a bad relationship, be glad he broke it off.
    2. Your parents made a decision to spend their money(even though its a horrible decision based on the age and maturity of the couple) the way they wanted, shame on them. They should be equally glad he broke it off, the marriage won't last.
    3. You're a great sister for caring but there is really only one thing you can do and that's to help your sister pick up the pieces WHEN things go bad(no just in this situation but every situation).
    4. Be a good role model in your current relationship so she can see what a healthy relationship should look like.
  • runzalot81
    runzalot81 Posts: 782 Member
    I've never understood the point of spending a bunch of money on a wedding. I'm not really big into marriage anyways but I'd prefer to elope if I was going to get married.

    I eloped. Weddings are so wasteful. I say save your money for the divorce hahahahaha

    OP, I understand your concern. I know my sister worried about me a lot when I turned up pregnant and then eloped. She never cast a word of judgement but she was always willing to listen.

    My life is beautifully fine now and so is my relationship with my sister :flowerforyou:

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