Goal setting - I don't *want* to be skinny!

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Replies

  • Okapi42
    Okapi42 Posts: 495 Member
    Ok. Let's try this. What if I take the OP's first sentence and changed it up in the opposite direction:


    Trying to work on maintaining my weight, and I've come to the realization that like seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be obese, fitting into plus size clothing and have various lumps and rolls sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.


    ^^Is this offensive? I think it is.

    You forgot the bit where there are no threads here on how to achieve muffin top, while there are plenty about them infamous "thigh gap" and how to get your collarbone showing. That's where I get the idea that most of the female population of MFP seems to have that for their goal.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    How is saying "I don't want..." being insulting to what someone else might want? Surely that's a mature acceptance of self determined goals, without denigrating anyone else's?

    Yes, that's how mature, well-adjusted adults would view it.

    Alternatively she could just say what she wants to achieve...that would make much more sense than writing how she doesn't want bones sticking out and single digit jeans like most women on mfp.

    You are reading things that were never typed. :laugh:
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
    Trying to work out a good goal weight, and I've come to the realisation that unlike seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be super skinny, fit single-digit clothing and have various bones sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.

    In an attempt to explain what you desire for yourself, you insulted so many people with the above statement. Was that really necessary? I am small. I have prominent collar and hip bones, I was just built that way. I also have the unfortunate tendency for being small breasted, but I deal. I wear a size 4/6. And yet, I am not super skinny. I don't think I look so bad, but according to you, I must be hideous. I'm supportive of your goal to look & feel great, but it's hard to not feel insulted when my body type is attacked like that.

    If you were insulted, that says more about you than the OP. My elbows are bony, and so are my fingers, yet I did not take offense.

    Why isn't it ok for people to have different goals?

    Ok. Let's try this. What if I take the OP's first sentence and changed it up in the opposite direction:


    Trying to work on maintaining my weight, and I've come to the realization that like seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be obese, fitting into plus size clothing and have various lumps and rolls sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.


    ^^Is this offensive? I think it is.


    Six of one, half dozen of another. It's still not offensive to state your goals and to acknowledge that your goals are different than the majority.
  • med2017
    med2017 Posts: 192 Member
    while you are arguing, i will be exercising and being skinny and fit ;) why cant we have both?
  • Diana35bha
    Diana35bha Posts: 292 Member
    Healthy is a very good goal!!

    Yes you have to work out what that is for you but try setting small goals till you get where you want to be.

    My doc says I need to be around 10.5 stone but I'm now down to 13.5 stone and feeling loads better already, but I need to lose more to make me breathe easier and take the strain off my arthritic joints, so my next goal is 13stone

    Good Luck, and add me if you'd like to share

    Di x
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
    Take photos regularly, especially as you get closer to how you want to look. Don't pose too much, though. Don't suck it in, or tilt this way and that, take regular photos or get others to take them (when you aren't paying attention!) to give yourself a better idea of where you are at during the process. Then when you're happy just up your calories.

    As for me, I'm a lumpy fatty. I don't get a nice, even smooth distribution. I have bizarre love handles that make me look like the back end of a mule with a canteen strapped on either side. Sadly, I must strive for skinny and bony because my fat distribution is simply not pleasing at a higher weight.

    Also, I won't be even remotely insulted if total strangers start thinking I'm too skinny. If I ever hear someone mutter, 'someone feed her a sandwich' I'll take it as a compliment. As long as I don't fall below a healthy BMI I'm good to go. And since I'm shorter than I thought I was (or I shrunk :grumble: ) I'll lose the unloved handles way before that happens.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    Ok. Let's try this. What if I take the OP's first sentence and changed it up in the opposite direction:


    Trying to work on maintaining my weight, and I've come to the realization that like seemingly most of the female population of MFP, I don't want to be obese, fitting into plus size clothing and have various lumps and rolls sticking out all over the place. I don't find that attractive.


    ^^Is this offensive? I think it is.

    I really don't think that's offensive at all. It pretty much applies to myself and my goals, verbatim :laugh:
  • kbeech06
    kbeech06 Posts: 328 Member
    I don't want to be "skinny"...whatever that is. I think it looks great on some people, but I don't think it would look right on me. I am aiming for the high end of my "IDEAL" weight range, which is 60 pounds down from where I started. If, when I get there, I am still not happy with how I look...I will reassess my goals. We're all built differently and what works and makes one person happy isn't what will work for someone else.

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