bullying in the workplace

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13

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  • RoadToHappiness92
    RoadToHappiness92 Posts: 58
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    You have a few of options

    1. confront them
    2. Do not confront them
    3. wish you had confronted them

    I didn`t mention the 4th...your are 21 years old, you are an adult?

    What does being an adult have anything to do with allowing this stuff to carry on?
  • metaphoria
    metaphoria Posts: 1,432 Member
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    Next time they say anything about your appearance, say "I also have exceptionally good hearing, and I hope our gym members don't hear you speaking that way, or we will lose business."
  • itsdonna35
    itsdonna35 Posts: 59
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    document everything you can and find a lawyer to sue under "harassment due to hostile work environment".
    this

    Definitely This....warn your HR person or the owner or whomever
  • RhineDHP
    RhineDHP Posts: 1,025 Member
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    Bullying, verb: Use superior strength or influence to intimidate (someone), typically to force him or her to do what one wants.


    I agree that she should confront the coworkers about their comments first, but I just wanted to state that the definition you used isn't the only form of action that would be considered bullying.
  • Punkin7411
    Punkin7411 Posts: 45 Member
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    Teenage girls? There ya go, there's the problem. You are the only "you" there is and the only one who matters. You are so much better than that. Their comments aren't worth the breath it took to speak them. You hang in there and live your life. They seem to have a hard time living their own so they have to get in someone else's business!!
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    You have a few of options

    1. confront them
    2. Do not confront them
    3. wish you had confronted them

    I didn`t mention the 4th...your are 21 years old, you are an adult?

    What does being an adult have anything to do with allowing this stuff to carry on?

    When you are an adult you take control, you are not a child, take control and make decisions.
  • Punkin7411
    Punkin7411 Posts: 45 Member
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    Love the above idea to tell them you have exceptional hearing too and you hope customers don't hear them or they might lose their jobs!
  • AlyssaJoJo
    AlyssaJoJo Posts: 449 Member
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    How sad to deal with this and come here for advice to only have people be rude in their advice...

    But I agree;
    You can either say something. I'm not talking about a scene or being a ***** back to them, but just talk to them in a calm fashion.

    You can talk to your boss, but that honestly might make issues for you. And even more if your boss is just as immature as them, things could go down hill fast.

    Or you can find a way to deal with it. I'm not saying, " stop being a baby and put your pants on." I know I would find that situation hard also. Having someone just outright say mean things about me would hurt my feelings. But you need to find a way to deal with it so it doesn't hurt YOU.
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    Why don't you just mess with their heads and then manipulate until the point they leave and hope for nicer coworkers.
  • bbubble5
    bbubble5 Posts: 15 Member
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    You are new and they are testing you. Teens do that to make their friends like them. I work with these kind of ladies and they are in their 40s. I'm usually quiet and shy person and they love to pick on people like me. So I showed them the other side of me. Let's just say they respect me and know not to push my buttons.
  • mjculbertson4512
    mjculbertson4512 Posts: 157 Member
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    From the HR geek in the crowd. Document, document, document. (don't take it overboard, but you get the picture). Take to your boss, if they can't act, won't act or retaliate, go to HR. If the same happens there, then get a lawyer.

    What was said in your handbook about harassment? This will also give you a path to follow.
  • RingSize8
    RingSize8 Posts: 175 Member
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    Let me get this straight, you're being bullied by some coworkers, teenage girls, at the gym you work at? Hmmm. ...how do I respond without coming off like an *kitten*?

    Think, think!

    Got it.

    What?! Seriously, you're letting teenage girls get to you? It's a scientifically proven fact that teenage girls are the worst group of individuals on the planet, while simultaneously being the least relevant group of individuals on the planet.

    FACT.

    You might be asking yourself how that's possible, being horrible and irrelevant at the same time, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you. Just know it's science, and science is always factual.

    If you aren't going to shut them down to their faces (which would be my choice) by shoving them into a locker or something, then why waste your energy caring at all? Am I the only one stuck on the fact that your coworkers are teenage girls? I'm guessing you are not a teenager girl yourself, which makes this all the more bizarre. Either ignore them, push them into the gyms pool after some kid and/or elderly person has peed in it, or, if you must, and only if their behavior is really egregious, talk to a supervisor (from what you described it sounds no where near really egregious, so maybe not this option).

    Honestly, I think maybe, just maybe, you should be a little less concerned about them acting like, well, teenage girls, and more concerned with why you're so concerned about it, especially when you seem to be unwilling to stick up for yourself. It sounds like your self esteem is the bigger issue here, not their immaturity. We can't control our environment - we can only control how we respond to it. So, if your current situation isn't working for you, I suggest you start responding differently. ...and in my own personal opinion, a great response can be as simple as an elbow to the face.
  • NatalieWinning
    NatalieWinning Posts: 999 Member
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    I'd do something like this:

    wait til they are talking again and approach.
    speak with kindness and state... I heard you wondering if I am pregnant, or just fat.

    I am not pregnant. And really, you may think I am fat... But I am taking steps to fix that.

    Next time, just ask. It's not like I could possibly think you were any more rude than I think you are now.
    :flowerforyou:

    :tongue:
  • twinketta
    twinketta Posts: 2,130 Member
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    I am going to add to my last reply about being an adult OK.

    You have stood up for yourself to a lot of replies including mine, is this because you do not know the people that are responding in a `negative` way to you?

    or is it because you are behind a computer?

    So, you obviously can `defend` yourself just go and do it, take the bull by the horns. Even as an adult you will hear people talking about you behind your back, saying things that you so not like, the world is not a pretty place a lot of the time.

    I hope you resolve your issues x
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    Bring cookies and donuts. Fatten them up. Then return the favor. Revenge is served.

    Seriously, give it time. This is a job and you're the new person. If you want to confront them, then do it. But if you want to just play it down while your coworkers try to get comfortable with you, that's fine too. Maybe someone will let you in on their little reindeer games after a while.

    I don't think this is something to quit over. I think you're stronger than that. I think they should be the ones to go. They seem like terrible human beings. You've done nothing wrong. Anyways, good luck.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    You're very young, and possibly the target of some teenage girls' ridicule. And yes, that does suck, and yes, it can hurt.

    Just my two cents, but you can't let them know that. "I heard you asking if I was pregnant and it really hurt my feelings." I wouldn't do that. I would confront them though. With your head held high and confidence oozing out your pores... "If you want to know if I'm pregnant you could ask me directly. I haven't been confiding in your little friend Susie, so asking her is pretty pointless, wouldn't you agree?"

    Just walk right up and stop them while it's happening. Don't call them any names or anything in order to make sure you don't end up the one in trouble with HR. Just be calm & confident and keep a smirk on your face, dear.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    It's a scientifically proven fact that teenage girls are the worst group of individuals on the planet, while simultaneously being the least relevant group of individuals on the planet.

    FACT.

    You might be asking yourself how that's possible, being horrible and irrelevant at the same time, but I'm not a scientist, so I can't tell you. Just know it's science, and science is always factual.

    I love this *LOL* You could just say that ;)
  • OMG_Twinkies
    OMG_Twinkies Posts: 215 Member
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    Nothing says 'obey me' like a bloody head on a fence post, in my opinion.
  • JasonAxelrod
    JasonAxelrod Posts: 58 Member
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    Okay, seriously, now you're getting absolutely terrible advice all 'round. It doesn't matter if the people are teenaged girls or elderly women. Disrespect is disrespect and it hampers the work environment quite equally. The idea that you shouldn't bring this to the attention of the administration because it doesn't seem that important or because your boss might also be immature or a **** is ****ing ludicrous. They can be *kitten* all they want in their personal lives, but it is not acceptable in the workplace and if your immediate supervisor or the location manager opt not to take you seriously, you go speak to human resources immediately and file a complaint on everyone involved.

    In fact, talk to HR before you talk to your manager, even. This is disgusting treatment and not only do you not have to put it up with it, you SHOULDN'T put up with it. These inconsiderate egorats need to understand that this kind of clique'ish, hurtful behavior is not welcome in a professional setting, and especially when the topic of their critique is the exact thing that many of their customers are at their location to work on, effectively giving THEM a measure of job security.

    If you want to say something to them, then here's my advice. Approach one or each of them individually (so they can't fall back on the crutch of mob mentality and tune you out) and tell them that this behavior is unprofessional, unacceptable, and is going to stop immediately, and that you are going to (or have spoken to) HR about it.

    But yeah, I would just speak directly to HR. You don't owe them a damned thing. What your employers and your HR department owes YOU, however, is a comfortable work environment.
  • penrbrown
    penrbrown Posts: 2,685 Member
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    The problem is... if you go to your boss you will strain your relationship with your coworkers.

    I would suggest ignoring it and just be your sterling self. Give them time to get to know you. In time they may just stop on their own. Right now you're new and they're trying to figure out A: If you're going to last, B: If you're worth their time and C: If you're going to fit in.

    So just be a duck and let their words be the water that rolls off your back.

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