No where to turn--any help would be appreciated

I don't post on to many advice asking, because everyone has opinions and always dishes out advice. But I will say yours has touched me.

For everyone there is a turning point, that's what starts a weight loss journey. Some may just not like how they look in the mirror. For other's maybe thier spouse wants them to be back to their old body. Others its medical, and then for a smaller few its because someone has died and it has made you see how precious life is and how we need to get in control of our own personal matters.

With that said, stop what you are doing. Stop blaming yourself. Your plate is overflowing. First things first, deal with the grief. Deal with the emotions you are having as well as your family. Work through those before trying to move on with your life. If you don't, you won't ever really move on and you will keep failing.

Being motivated because of your mom doesn't mean you need to shed 100lbs in 2 months. You have to make small changes to get your life on a sustainable path.

Plan your meals for the week. Cook on Sunday or whatever day of the week you have some down time. I try to cook my side dishes for the week on Sunday, that way we have the little stuff done. I also grilled chicken and several other items that would heat up well for the week on Sunday. I know what we are having for dinner every night. I have a very busy schedule with work and kids softball games/practice/therapy/gym/anything else that mom has to do.

Get the sleep apnea under control. Do you were a CPAP? if not, why not? Those things change people's lives. I have seen to many people go from evil, mean, unmotivated, down right hate the world to wonderful people because of that little machine. My husband and my father both. With both having over 100 episodes of stopping breathing during the night. You cannot successfully lose weight if your sleep apnea isn't under control. Your body will not work right. You are tired because your body isn't resting and resetting itself. I cannot say how important it is to do, and not to scare you but we just put a friend in the ground because he refused to wear his cpap. Unfortunately he didn't wake up one night.

You are such a strong woman who deserves more love from yourself. Everyone will tell you things they do that help them out. Try them, do them. But more than anything love yourself, use your cpap, or if you don't have one get a cpap, and give yourself time to heal.

My prayers are with you.

Debbie, So sorry for your loss. Don't stress yourself further you are doing the best you can right now for you and your family. When you are stronger you can and will do better. All the grieving books say this is no time for big decisions or changes. Baby steps like everyone said. Try lowering your salt intake and increasing your water per day. Go for a stroll when you need time alone and most importantly be kind to yourself.

Yes, give yourself some time. The mind and body are connected and both need time to heal. I would do what some others have suggested. Just log. Don't worry about what you you are eating in terms of amount or quality. Just log it. That act alone will reward you in all sorts of ways. And oddly enough you may want to treat yourself to some sort of new toys - a food scale can be fun and inspiring in a weird way. And a tracker like a fitbit might give you some external motivation. They are simple to set up, gadgety fun and all you do is wear the thing or put it in your pocket. Or regular pedometers are much less expensive. Once you get some of the groundwork set for a few weeks with logging and recording steps-- you can start to set very small goals for yourself. But don't push yourself to start doing all sorts of dramatic changes. Your mind and body need some time first.

Honey, it's been less than a month since you lost your mama. I was a mess for MONTHS after I lost mine. You gotta lighten up on yourself. Grief is stressful. Give yourself a break. It's going to take a lot of time. :flowerforyou:

I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please be very, very gentle with yourself. My mother died several years ago, and I still get broken up every now and then. The grief will ease with time, and I'm sure you'll be able to conquer whatever you want then. In the meantime, just do the best you can.

I'm sorry for your loss and for the way you are feeling. Have you had any opportunity to speak to a grief counselor or clergy-or someone who might be able to just be a good listener without making any judgements? And have you considered asking your dr. for some meds to help for a bit until you are better able to deal with things. Not forever, just for a while. It sounds to me like you are very depresed-which is not abnormal with such a profound and sudden loss. If you can hardly stand to get out of bed and face each day, it may be asking too much of yourself to go on a "diet" and exercise like crazy all at one time. First, you need to get your state of mind in a sound place so you have a good mental foundation to build on. And I would suggest starting very small, just a step at a time.

Long story short is that my motto for various reasons seems to have become "Do what you can until you can do more . Repeat as necessary."

I am sending you a friend request in a moment and I promise to help be supportive for you.

Barb

The first thing I would like to say is I'm sorry.... So sorry for you lose. It is very hard to deal with the lost of a parent, and then to lose her so quickly, I know it's hard. My husband's dad died at 49 from lung cancer, very hard on family!!!! The best thing for you to do is just take one day at a time right now. As for MFP this is the best thing i've ever tried. I started on Jan 19/13 and have lost 30 lbs today. I think it helps to enter and see what we are putting into our bodies. Just try to start, and you too will see a big difference... Good luck

i have a similar situation to yours... right now i am eating as normal and tracking the amount of calories in what i am eating. it is kinda crazy how many calories are in supposedly healthy options. i am working in steps... first eat normal and track while beginning to increase activity, next is to drop calories and increase food and exercise, then increase to a manageable lifestyle food and exercise wise. i have tried to do all the crazy crash diets to no avail and i am just getting heavier. for exercise i got a kinect for xbox 360 and got several games for it. i am a gamer of sorts so it works for me. try finding activities that you can fit in and just track what you are eating. modify your diet in a couple of weeks to healthier options of what you like to eat.

Very sorry for your loss. It takes time to get over losing a parent. It's true you should take it a little at a time. Definitely go outside and walk at least a few minutes a day, if you can. Try to add more fruits and vegetables into your diet and set some realistic goals. A couple of pounds a month is WAY better than nothing! You don't have to be in a hurry. Best to ditch the 5 hour energy, because I believe such things can become addictive. Maybe try some green tea if you need a little boost. At least there are health benefits to this. Even just starting to log here is a beginning and once you know how many calories you're eating, you can then start to make small adjustments.