My wife left me once I lost the weight.

Years ago, I left my longtime live in Bf and fiance after he lost 80lbs. It wasn't because I was insecure, we had lost weight together. It was because he was obsessed. We were on Atkins (this was way back when Atkins was popular!) and I hated it, I had only agreed to it because he had promised me we would also start being more active, so I figured we would at least be somewhat healthier than or fat sedentary selves. 6 months or so later, we had gone for two walks. I had lost maybe 25-30lbs, him 70 or 80. We Both looked good. He enjoyed the all meat/fat diet, I didn't. But what i hated more than missing out on my favourite fruits and vegs was that we could never do anything. We didn't hang out with friends, or go to dinner or even the movies, because he was obsessed and thought one baked potato or a kernel of popcorn would make us gain 100lbs. I got tired of being miserable with both my diet and my life.
not sure if this has anything to do with your issue, but maybe you should have asked her why?

The Key word is not to be a victim , if you allow her this then she wins.

Also, don't take this the wrong way, but I think you should seriously think about changing your handle. No Talent Mike? Show some love for yourself! What about Successful Mike! Healthy Mike! Determined Mike! Unstoppable Mike! Because you appear to be all of those things!

^This!^

Any of these! Or how about something like 'Free Mike!'

I don't have any additional advice and my husband and I are separated for different reasons BUT I just wanted to say you're not alone!! Many of us here, like you and I, are out of our marriages by someone else's choice! We've just got "keep swimming" as they say in Finding Nemo (I'm a mom) and keep making the best choices we can minute by minute, hour by hour! One thing I have done that I would suggest is to make a list of everything you have done for yourself since your wife left and then a list of everything you want to do for yourself. use the first list as a motivational tool to complete the second list. When you're done with the second list, change it to a first list and carry on....

sorry to hear your plight, i shall not offer you platitudes, cause they never work. i feel what you are going through is a grief reaction and alcohol could further cause deterioration in mental health front. please please see a therapist, talk to your wife, if she is ready to give marriage counseling a go.. if she is not even ready to try and, what you are saying is true(i am not saying otherwise) then probably the cause is herself and not you.try to pray and do meditation. seek help. may God be with you.

If you are smoking and drinking to deal with your issues then you are self medicating. You are using substances as coping skills. You need to develop healthy coping mechanisms that aren't going to damage your body or get you off track. I would suggest therapy, a self help group (maybe you could find a support group for those going through divorce) or at the very least research healthy coping skills online and try some of those activities instead of smoking and drinking. Here are some resources:

divorcecare.org
http://highered.mcgraw-hill.com/sites/0079876543/student_view0/junior_year-999/living13/coping_skills.html

I went through a rough patch years ago, alone...depressed and was drinking every night, the more depressed I got the more I drank. The thing I didn't realize at the time was that drinking was making me worse not better.
I went to counseling, it was someone to talk to, someone who understood..afterward I didn't have everything bottled up inside me and I didn't reach for the 12 pack...it was like magic :laugh:

Sounds like maybe she did you a favor and will end up better without her.

If you want her back - go to her, cry, beg, plead, promise to jump off a cliff for her, forgive her for being with someone else so soon after your separation, and then spend the rest of your life being with someone who shatters your confidence, who destroys your self worth, who doesn't respect you as a human being, who doesn't appreciate all your hard work and most of all who wants you to stay fat forever.

If you don't want her back - then take some time out, take a breather, get closure, talk about it, talk about it so much that one day you find yourself with nothing left to say in that subject, get it all out of your system. I am sorry to be harsh but the reality is it's a divorce, it ain't the end of the world. Yes, it seems like it is for you right now but I promise you it ain't.

Drinking and smoking ain't gonna help you. When you stop drinking and smoking, your issues still gonna be there and you still gotta deal with them. No one else will do it for you. Just like your weight loss, you have to do it for yourself.

Just like trying to lose weight, would you consider starving yourself to lose weight? No
So why would you smoke and drink to deal with your relationship breakdown.

Chances are, she ain't sitting somewhere miserable and depressed.
But you are.

She didn't respect you enough so have some self respect and let it go and get healthy.

Am sorry to be harsh but if drinking and smoking solved everything then, we would have no problems left in the world.
And anyone who breaks your spirit and reduce your self worth to zero should really have no place in your life.

Dude. Seriously....coming from a guy who lost his bride. MAN THE F up. What is done cannot be undone. You cannot control the choices of others.

Enjoy the success of your dedication and find a new, more appreciative woman. In that process, ensure that you have your definitions down as to what you want and need in a relationship and a woman. Anything that is superficial, it sounds, you need to have checked at the door.

Keep positive, even when it rough.

Congratulations on your weight losses - your own and that of your spouse. Now, take advantage of it both losses.