Bad Poetry

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13

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  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    bjleech and dirtnap63,
    thou haveth wooed me with thy scribblings
    of poetry.
    help me with my squat form,
    said i.
    toodles.
  • JeepBrah
    JeepBrah Posts: 150
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    Tellin you right now you don't stand a chance
    This poem is gonna make you pee your pants
    My sense of humor is prominent
    Compared to these other fools I'm dominant
    To get chicks they need chloroform
    Well call me out of the norm
    Grandma's and Warm
    That's how I like my cookies
    I'm a pro playin with the rookies
    Fist pumpin with the best like snookies
    You're a sight for sore eyes
    A heavenly blessed beauty, it's long over do
    Seems like all these chicks have thunder thighs
    But you're cute, hopefully you think I am too
    If we got to getha we'd be hotter than a fever from the flu
    My knowledge goes deep like Jorge Posada
    This poem may be cheesy like an enchilada
    But I'll go yadda yadda yadda
    Maybe even buy you Prada
    Til the clothes you have on equal nada
    Hey now, I'm gettin too far down the track
    To start off just send a message back
    Serious like a heart attack
    Maybe you can help me improve my poetry nack
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
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    Awwww...teenage love. I didn't write this but my high school boyfriend did.....

    I love you so much
    that I'd take a bullet
    or even grow a mullet
    and let you pull it.
    I love you so much.

    That's love right there!! :D
  • catrinaHwechanged
    catrinaHwechanged Posts: 4,907 Member
    Options
    Tellin you right now you don't stand a chance
    This poem is gonna make you pee your pants
    My sense of humor is prominent
    Compared to these other fools I'm dominant
    To get chicks they need chloroform
    Well call me out of the norm
    Grandma's and Warm
    That's how I like my cookies
    I'm a pro playin with the rookies
    Fist pumpin with the best like snookies
    You're a sight for sore eyes
    A heavenly blessed beauty, it's long over do
    Seems like all these chicks have thunder thighs
    But you're cute, hopefully you think I am too
    If we got to getha we'd be hotter than a fever from the flu
    My knowledge goes deep like Jorge Posada
    This poem may be cheesy like an enchilada
    But I'll go yadda yadda yadda
    Maybe even buy you Prada
    Til the clothes you have on equal nada
    Hey now, I'm gettin too far down the track
    To start off just send a message back
    Serious like a heart attack
    Maybe you can help me improve my poetry nack

    HAHAHAHA!!!

    Damn, why the hate on thunder thighs? It's too bad we can't be friends now :P
  • CollegiateGrief
    CollegiateGrief Posts: 552 Member
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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    I'll f**k you with a rake.

    :laugh:
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
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    Kind of off topic, but I went to an art gallery opening recently and had someone tell me that he has spent the last four years of his life creating "a line of unique, interchangeable book covers for his series of experimental poetry." Who knew that poetry could be experimental? Or that it needed book covers...interchangeably?

    I knew that poetry could be experimental. Then again, I almost exclusively read poetry.
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    Some poems rhyme
    And some don't


    *Standing ovation*
  • feistymoon
    feistymoon Posts: 152
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    Work sucks a*s.
    My pay is to small.
    So I'm filling my time
    with an MFP trawl.

    I should really run tests
    and evaluate data.
    But instead I read threads
    full of banter and chatter.

    :D
  • JonathonMars
    JonathonMars Posts: 358 Member
    Options
    Tellin you right now you don't stand a chance
    This poem is gonna make you pee your pants
    My sense of humor is prominent
    Compared to these other fools I'm dominant
    To get chicks they need chloroform
    Well call me out of the norm
    Grandma's and Warm
    That's how I like my cookies
    I'm a pro playin with the rookies
    Fist pumpin with the best like snookies
    You're a sight for sore eyes
    A heavenly blessed beauty, it's long over do
    Seems like all these chicks have thunder thighs
    But you're cute, hopefully you think I am too
    If we got to getha we'd be hotter than a fever from the flu
    My knowledge goes deep like Jorge Posada
    This poem may be cheesy like an enchilada
    But I'll go yadda yadda yadda
    Maybe even buy you Prada
    Til the clothes you have on equal nada
    Hey now, I'm gettin too far down the track
    To start off just send a message back
    Serious like a heart attack
    Maybe you can help me improve my poetry nack

    I must say, I love the line break after "Grandma's and warm". Talking about getting chick and then breaking the line there--I didn't know quite what to expect. Or I thought I knew what was coming next, and it made me throw up a little.
  • 1Hunie
    1Hunie Posts: 176
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    Roses are red
    Violets are blue
    And so are my balls
    You know what to do.

    I just spit coffee all over my desk...thanks.
    I don't always spit, but when I do, I spit coffee..

    :drinker: :laugh:
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    Options
    Tellin you right now you don't stand a chance
    This poem is gonna make you pee your pants
    My sense of humor is prominent
    Compared to these other fools I'm dominant
    To get chicks they need chloroform
    Well call me out of the norm
    Grandma's and Warm
    That's how I like my cookies
    I'm a pro playin with the rookies
    Fist pumpin with the best like snookies
    You're a sight for sore eyes
    A heavenly blessed beauty, it's long over do
    Seems like all these chicks have thunder thighs
    But you're cute, hopefully you think I am too
    If we got to getha we'd be hotter than a fever from the flu
    My knowledge goes deep like Jorge Posada
    This poem may be cheesy like an enchilada
    But I'll go yadda yadda yadda
    Maybe even buy you Prada
    Til the clothes you have on equal nada
    Hey now, I'm gettin too far down the track
    To start off just send a message back
    Serious like a heart attack
    Maybe you can help me improve my poetry nack

    best. ever.

    applause.gif
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
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    The person above,
    What is it you find sexy?
    Would you smash or pass?
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
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    http://gawker.com/amanda-palmers-a-poem-for-dzhokhar-is-the-worst-poem-476820444
  • pucenavel
    pucenavel Posts: 972 Member
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    hmmmmm....
    how 'bout that?
    you know?

    dude?
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    I came
    I saw
    I MFP'D
  • SerenaFisher
    SerenaFisher Posts: 2,170 Member
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    The person above,
    What is it you find sexy?
    Would you smash or pass?
    :laugh:
  • mank32
    mank32 Posts: 1,323 Member
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    MFP is the place for me
    when I'm bored and idle at work
    I'm just a message board *kitten* and a profile creep
    so I hope no one thinks I'm a jerk

    I don't need to lose weight--I'm as thin as a rail
    in fact a really should gain
    I exercise 40 minutes a day
    to manage my fibromyalgia pain

    I run and skate and do yoga a lot
    I eat veggies, chicken and fish
    to be a toned badass and run 5k
    is my most fervent wish

    with diodelcibo for my eyes
    and jacwhite and Taunto for laughs
    MFP helps me get through my day
    as I sit on my sarcastic *kitten*
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    Options
    MFP is the place for me
    when I'm bored and idle at work
    I'm just a message board *kitten* and a profile creep
    so I hope no one thinks I'm a jerk

    I don't need to lose weight--I'm as thin as a rail
    in fact a really should gain
    I exercise 40 minutes a day
    to manage my fibromyalgia pain

    I run and skate and do yoga a lot
    I eat veggies, chicken and fish
    to be a toned badass and run 5k
    is my most fervent wish

    with diodelcibo for my eyes
    and jacwhite and Taunto for laughs
    MFP helps me get through my day
    as I sit on my sarcastic *kitten*

    bravo! bravo!
    a poem that doesn't make me say "oh no!"
    MFP is always the place for me
    hold that thought--i gotta pee.

    toodles!
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
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    Tell her
    If she comes to bring along
    a firefly, maybe a star
    As this heart o mine
    Like my soul
    is dark

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