So disheartening for those of us VERY overweight :(

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Replies

  • lexicalabrese
    lexicalabrese Posts: 200 Member
    I had to think twice before responding...sometimes it's hard to write things down on here and not to upset someone...and I don't think that's ever anyones intention. But I thought I would reply for a few reasons.

    Firstly, there are two sides to every story!! While I fully appreciate how you can feel hurt when reading comments such as those you mention, it is also difficult for those with only a little weight to lose. Okay, it's bad to generalize - but usually, those that have more to lose make quicker progress - so when a "lighter" person sees a "heavier" person consistently loses 3/4lbs a week - and they lose nothing, or 0.5lbs, this is also upsetting. While everyone is greatly motivated by others successes and are truly proud of their MFP friends achievements - it is human nature for there to be that little part of you that thinks "what about me, I'm working hard too" - especially if you spend every night in the gym!?

    Secondly, I don't think anyone - regardless of how much weight they have to lose - should have to consider too much what they write when talking about THEMSELVES. When giving advice/comparing situations, for sure. But everyone, big, small, old, young, can have days when they feel so miserable that they hate the sight of themselves in the mirror - as well as those wonderful days when you feel on top of the world. If someone is on a down day...perhaps it should be their right to have a little rant about how "Gross and Fat" they feel, even if they weigh as much as one of my thighs?? :laugh:

    I'm really happy your post ended on a positive and you don't feel as though MFP has got you down - because that's not the idea at all!! And I'm not disagreeing with you in any way - I can see that you could easily feel like that. But I just think that we are all individual - what is right for one person is never going to be right for another - even amongst siblings, so never mind friends, so if someone makes a negative comment about themselves on paper, it shouldn't be directly comparable to YOU, because there are a million and one other reasons behind their feelings.

    Just so you know...I do probably fall into your 'only a bit over-weight' category, but I have been VERY over weight before. I will still make negative comments about myself (usually my stomach..don't get me started) but can also recognize my good bits. I'd like to think that I have never upset anyone with my comments - and would be truly mortified if I had. MFP is about supporting people to a new, healthy lifestyle regardless of their weight loss objectives, I'm really happy to be a part of it! :happy:

    I agree 100% with everything Jax said lol.

    I have posted something along the lines of what you were describing, OP. In my Weight Loss Journey photos, I posted my before picture and said something along the lines of "Here I was at 180 pounds, my heaviest ever and so out of shape." (I am paraphrasing here, I don't remember precisely what I said and am too lazy to go back and look :laugh: )

    Anyway, my comment was NOT in any way meant to say "Ew, everyone at 180 pounds sucks," it was meant to say that there I was at 180 pounds, the biggest I have ever ever ever ever been and the unhealthiest I have ever been. If 180 pounds is your goal and the healthiest you've ever been, THAT IS AMAZING! You cannot cannot cannot cannot let someone else's comments or views of their body get you down. For me to say I was gross at 180 does not mean that YOU at 180 pounds isn't incredible, inspiring, healthy and amazing!

    Nobody defines you but you :flowerforyou:
  • bowbee
    bowbee Posts: 77 Member
    I can understanding how it can be hurtful, but at the same time the problem lies in the fact that there's a huge hurdle in front of all of us that is: None of us look good enough until we look like the people on tv and magazine covers.


    And that is a completely unattainable goal for everyone!!! Even those models don't look like that....it's photoshop, airbrushing, lighting, makeup, and photography skills! It is so unfortunate that society has skewed our idea of healthy and beautiful by putting out this completely unrealistic goal.
  • CasperO
    CasperO Posts: 2,913 Member
    For me to say I was gross at 180 does not mean that YOU at 180 pounds isn't incredible, inspiring, healthy and amazing!

    Nobody defines you but you :flowerforyou:
    :drinker: :drinker: :drinker: Hear! Hear! :drinker: :drinker: :drinker:
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