Just need to talk

I went through this, and still somewhat am. First time around, I lost my job back in 2008. At that point I gained a lot of weight. Topping out at 275lbs. That was the biggest I had ever been. I was in denial. I avoided scales, and I avoided my husband. It had gotten to the point where I would get winded just walking to the car. I went to the Dr and she told me I was borderline diabetic. Since I am a smoker, and heart disease runs in my family, that I was destined to have a heart attack at an early age.

It scared me. I lost about 40lbs, started feeling good, got back into the working scene, and then had just one treat, and then another, and then before you know it, I was back at eating fast food every meal. I cried a lot, and I do mean a lot. I was so unhappy. At the end of 2012 I crept back up to 256lbs. I looked in the mirror, and I said, this is enough.

You really have to come to that point where you've really just had enough. You have to make up your own mind to change. As much as I wanted my husband to help me change, and Dr's, and family .... None of them can change your mind or your will power. I have now lost 60lbs. Each day I have to have a conversation with myself about why I am doing this. Slowly the conversations change, you make better decisions, you find ways to curb those cravings. You find things to do. The best part. You did it on your own. The support that you get from others is just the icing.

I have to agree to an extent.

I would think your wife would be more put off by your hiding/avoiding sexual contact more than she would be about your extra weight.

Dan - we have all been there - that's why alot of us are HERE !! I've only been on MFP for a little over a week - and it does help - I make my food diary public and I keep it real - if I've eaten to much - it shows - the support and the accountability is great here - get some support from friends - ask for friends on this site - you can always send me a friend request if you want - link with other males that are going through this also - you can do this !! Good Luck

I went through something similar and I know how hard it can be to get yourself out of the funk. However, you have tons of time on your hands now! Turn your 'job' into getting right with yourself about your health. Start out small by saying you are going to do one thing each day for health. Then two, then three. Before you know it, your whole day/life will be about a healthy lifestyle and you will love it. Don't focus on the fact that you have a lot to lose, focus on the first step.

Free weights and a mat at the house? If so pick them up and do some sit-ups / push-ups. Take a walk with the kids. Any activity during the day and soon you might get that "spark" that makes you want to keep going. I know when I go to the gym I get some motivation and a sense of well-being - just might help you too.

So totally agree with this

Your post is a good incentive to folks who need to lose weight. It isn't just about vanity, healthy organs are a main part of longevity. Two of my brothers had heart trouble one has had triple heart bypass, my sister is borderline diabetic, she was born with a leaking heart, my mum was on was on blood thinning drugs and died after having several strokes. So now I am overweight, very high cholesterol, had gall bladder removed due to eating too much fat and in my sixties it needed a wake up call to make me do something about it, so now on the amazing 5:2 diet and nearly lost a stone. I don't exercise that much (dodgy leg) but like to walk round local country park weather permitting. So good luck to everyone, just being on this site proves you all want to change your way of life and that's half way to correcting it. Happy dieting MFP buddies.

Dan - you are in the right place! MFP has been a "hospital" of sorts for me to help me fix what is broken in my health life. I started a lot like you. Gained a bunch of weight, no libido, no desire to really "live" life. I can tell you if you hold onto those feelings and keep them in mind every step of the journey - those provide so much fuel for you that by the time you are where you want to be...you will have a bonfire.

If you need a friend who is supportive please feel free to add me.

Best of luck and God bless on your journey. You will do great!

You've got EVERYTHING going for you Dan! !!! The desire & will to change, a loving supportive wife & MFP! !!!!

Just a short note to wish you well on journey, I am sure you will do well

Hey brother, welcome here. Great post. Feel free to add me if you like. We can work together to get better

Come join us. Don't put too much pressure on yourself. Start small. Simply log everything. One advice I can give, is to NOT stop logging what you eat. No matter how bad. Even if you go to buffet and dunno how much you ate, just log an estimated number (I usually just put in 3000 calories and overestimate). Once you have that habit, its all easy and soon you will be like freakin Chaning Tatum

You're here, and that's a great first step. My best advice is to make small, gradual changes that you can stick to forever. Don't try to do a complete 180. Just start walking. Eat a little less. Log accurately. Don't give up the foods that are really important to you, just commit to only one serving. You can do this. :flowerforyou:

You're taking the right steps Dan. And there are very helpful and kind people here who have had much success and have good advice to offer. Let them in and they will be happy to help.

What a previous poster said is true your wife will still love you however you are. Don't distance yourself from her. Feel free to add me too if you want support. It's so great you joined MFP. It works. You'll be a new man before you know it. Just read read read and learn as much as you can. I married an electrician too that is now twice as big but other than the fact I want him to live as long as possible I really don't care at all he's not slim.