I'm conflicted about "Fat Acceptance" morally.. I find

Options
245678

Replies

  • Vailara
    Vailara Posts: 2,453 Member
    Options
    Well, there is a difference between fat acceptance and fat promotion. You can accept fat people, including yourself, while still aiming to be healthy and even leaner if you wish. Fat acceptance doesn't mean that you have to put on weight or encourage others to do so.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    Okay, first off-- I am obscenely jealous of that woman's self-confidence. I wish I had even a quarter of what she has.

    But replying to the topic at hand... it's a hard line to draw between self-confidence and encouraging unhealthy behavior. It's unfortunate that being fat isn't frowned upon the way that being a smoker/drinker/other drug user is, because really, it should be. Overeating food is a vice just like using another substance, and once I recognized that I began to stop "accepting" my behavior as learned or inevitable. It still took me years to even want to change, but I knew what I was doing was my choice and there was no one to blame it on but me.

    People don't 'inevitably' succumb to drugs, they choose them. It's true that certain substances are highly addictive, but addictions are mostly psychological. The same can be said for food, and eating disorders on all points of the spectrum. An unhealthy relationship with food is like an unhealthy relationship with a substance-- damaging to your health.

    And while that woman is flawless for someone at her weight, it still makes me sad for her. My ex-fiancee is about 400 pounds, and I worry about her almost daily. The "morbid" in "morbidly obese" is there for a reason...
  • liliawodna
    liliawodna Posts: 31 Member
    Options
    I was overweight for a long time when I was a teenager and developed an eating disorder around the time I turned 17. I lost a lot of weight and still didn't feel right. I have been in recovery for a while and gained a LOT of weight back. I am losing weight now but with the help of my doctor and it is slow but healthy. I WISH I had the self confidence that many of these men and women have at any of my previous weights, However, I don't like the mindset that many people have that they are healthy and they CAN'T change their habits. It is not healthy to be too thin and it is not healthy to be obese. It's not and there is clear science behind it obviously. Yes, you should be happy with who you are but there is not reason you can't improve your life and longevity while feeling good about yourself.
  • groversa
    groversa Posts: 450 Member
    Options
    I think this is complicated.. I feel like we need to accept the person, but not the behavior if they are inflicting it on to others. Sure, its awesome that they are proud. I think people have the right to be proud, those curvy girls with rocking bods. But only to an certain extent. When curvy, becomes unhealthy or obese, thats not sexy and proud, its in denial and making excuses. I'm sure they are wonderful people, but if they are proud of their bodies, those bodies should be striving to be healthy.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    On here, I'm pretty much the unpopular opinion when it comes to issues like this, but I appreciate the fat acceptance movement (which is ultimately part of a larger movement that promotes being body-positive in general). I don't think it's encouraging anybody to be fat or stay fat or get fatter or whatever. I think what it does is it helps people who are fat and are constantly belittled about their weight feel better about themselves. I was (and still am) fat, and the movement has helped me come to understand that whether or not I lose weight SHOULDN'T determine my worth as a human being – although it sadly does. We tend to correlate a person's size with their worth (something losing weight has made me become painfully aware of). You should be able to be fat and still be awesome and look pretty and feel good about yourself.

    Fat people are reminded constantly, in even the subtlest ways, that they don't belong. I don't thing it's wrong to remind them that they do and encourage them to embrace themselves, fat or not. It doesn't make fat people suddenly love their bodies and the idea that they mindlessly believe that fat is beautiful and they're healthy the way they are is ridiculous. Fat people who are a part of the FA movement still tend to feel pretty crappy about themselves, because outside of the movement, which is a fairly small community compared to the general public, they are still reminded that they should feel like crap.

    Just curious (and no, I am not trying to be argumentative)-- do you feel the same way about smokers, drinkers, and drug users? Should they be embraced for who they are, or is it acceptable for society to put negative pressures on them so that they will stop their behaviors, even if they are only hurting themselves by continuing to use? Just because the parallels between being fat and being hooked on another substance--whatever it is-- are a bit too close to ignore... I would like to hear your personal thoughts on this.
  • carolstartingover
    carolstartingover Posts: 83 Member
    Options
    It is kind of like smoking cigarettes acceptance with Emphesema patients. They complain because they can't breathe and keep on puffing. I wanna scream. I quit because of Ashtma when I was 36. My mother was 300 pounds when she died. Before that the workers could not help her much because of her weight. I lift weights so I could do some of it. Obese people and I mean really obese, brake chairs, have trouble with getting help from health care workers. The biggest thing is that there are more people with Cirhossis of the LIver due to obesity than to alcohol. So, it is not about looks to me. You are on the clock for illness and possible death from it. I don't get grossed out from seeing my daughter being heavy.I get upset that she may leave me before her time. You have to admit if your daughter was that big and she had health problems you would worry too about losing her. And she does not seem to care. I hope I am not offensive. I myself gained 45 pounds after hub died in 2011 and I am trying to get the weight off. My knees are taking a hit from it. Good luck. You be proud, but take care of you.
  • ereach4731
    ereach4731 Posts: 41 Member
    Options
    Just like in any addiction, depression, etc, when someone is fat, they might say they are confident on the outside, but really deep down inside, or perhaps subconsciously, there is an underlying issue.
  • heyyoudontgiveup
    heyyoudontgiveup Posts: 64 Member
    Options
    If your morals make you say "ew" about other people's bodies or even judge other people's bodies, I suggest you rethink them and get back to worrying about you.
  • highervibes
    highervibes Posts: 2,219 Member
    Options
    I take the live and let live approach. I would want that person to get healthy in the same way I would want someone to quit smoking, or quit being an alcoholic etc. but I would never make anyone feel bad for their choices. Ever. Period.
  • zonah
    zonah Posts: 216 Member
    Options
    Acceptance of who you are and love for yourself no matter what you look like. Is one of the most important things you can have for the motivation to get healthy. A good heart shines through no matter what you look like. Ugly hearts are the same way, it does not matter how pretty you are on the outside the ugliness will shine through.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Options
    "Fat acceptance" is all about not judging bodies that do not belong to you.

    There is nothing morally conflicting about that. If you don't like how somebody else looks, don't look. Weight does not equal health. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. Encouraging people to feel good about themselves no matter what their weight is, is tremendously positive. It's not about preaching "you don't need to lose weight!" It about preaching "You are worthy just as you are".
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    Options
    the only thing that bothers me is the denial of huge health issues. if you are comfortable with being sick and shortening your life fine but don't deny that being over weight is a huge factor with health.
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    If your morals make you say "ew" about other people's bodies or even judge other people's bodies, I suggest you rethink them and get back to worrying about you.

    I think this woman is gorgeous. What is "gross" to me isn't how she looks, but how I just know that under that porcelain skin of hers, her body is struggling to survive on a daily basis. THAT is not okay to me, and no one should kid themselves that they are 'healthy' when they are obese like this.

    I'm not saying we should police fat people, but "Fat Acceptance" tends to rub me the wrong way too.
  • angieleighbyrd
    angieleighbyrd Posts: 989 Member
    Options
    I should add that I was very over weight at one time. Not as large as this picture. I had serious health problems. I was never in denial. I knew that my weight was the cause of every health issue I had.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Options
    I'm in the UK and there was a program on this a while ago, and a woman around 300-350lb was trying to say she was healthy because at that moment in time she was. Anyone who says they are happy at that size are lying to themselves

    Agreed.
    If you get out of breath going up the stairs or have to have "custom", large seats then you definitely need to do something about your health.
  • ThickMcRunFast
    ThickMcRunFast Posts: 22,511 Member
    Options
    I can get behind the 'don't be an a**hole to people just because they are overweight' aspect of it. Generally, obese people know they are obese and don't need other people pointing it out. However, I have found that truly happy people don't generally demand that others recognize how happy they are, so I kind of think a lot of the movement is BS.
  • loosesealbluth
    loosesealbluth Posts: 46 Member
    Options
    Just curious (and no, I am not trying to be argumentative)-- do you feel the same way about smokers, drinkers, and drug users? Should they be embraced for who they are, or is it acceptable for society to put negative pressures on them so that they will stop their behaviors, even if they are only hurting themselves by continuing to use? Just because the parallels between being fat and being hooked on another substance--whatever it is-- are a bit too close to ignore... I would like to hear your personal thoughts on this.

    Here's how it is (I'm going to use smoking as an example because I've thought about this a lot). Is smoking healthy? No. But it's another person's decision to smoke. I think it's only fair to tell someone to lose weight or stop smoking if you're very, very close to them and have a personal reason to care about their health. Do I get mad when my parents tell me to lose weight? No. They worry about my health. But when a stranger does it? Really? Is that the only thing about me that matters?

    My parents smoke and I ask them to stop because I worry about their health, but whether or not my not-so-close friends smoke or not is not relevant to me. I can overlook it and still appreciate them as people; they're not inherently bad because they smoke. They probably battle with trying to quit the same way a fat person battles with their weight. By constantly belittling a person that's struggling to just stop or quit is offensive because it's never that easy. Ever. Addiction is a tough subject, and people, I think, make it their issue when it doesn't impact them and they haven't considered the consequences of their words/actions.

    So yeah. I think it's only acceptable to tell someone to stop if they're close to you, you know? Otherwise, I have to question the person's motives. I hope this answers your question (thanks for asking it, btw. I like to debate haha). :)
  • Ramberta
    Ramberta Posts: 1,312 Member
    Options
    "Fat acceptance" is all about not judging bodies that do not belong to you.

    There is nothing morally conflicting about that. If you don't like how somebody else looks, don't look. Weight does not equal health. You are not responsible for anyone but yourself. Encouraging people to feel good about themselves no matter what their weight is, is tremendously positive. It's not about preaching "you don't need to lose weight!" It about preaching "You are worthy just as you are".

    Then why is there not "Tobacco Acceptance" or "Alcohol Acceptance" as well? Why are all life choices not praised for us being who we want to be? Clearly, there must be other factors into why it is not socially 'acceptable' to be fat. And telling someone they are physically unhealthy does NOT mean they are unworthy as an individual. I think a lot of pro-Acceptance people here are missing that point.

    My boyfriend suffers from major depression. Do I tell him he's worthless? Of course not-- if I thought that, I wouldn't even be with him. But am I going to tell him he's perfectly fine the way he is, and accept him staying in bed all day? Again, of course not. If something is affecting the physical or mental health of someone I love I will speak up about it, BECAUSE I love them. Helping someone face their bad decisions and overcome them is, if anything, the most crucial part of accepting them... because you're willing to support them right now, AND to help motivate them to improve. My boyfriend does the same with me, with my journey to lose weight and overcome anger issues. We accept each other for who we are, but that doesn't mean we have to accept the fact that we can never be better than we are right now!
  • ICOZA7
    ICOZA7 Posts: 33 Member
    Options
    I can get behind the 'don't be an a**hole to people just because they are overweight' aspect of it. Generally, obese people know they are obese and don't need other people pointing it out. However, I have found that truly happy people don't generally demand that others recognize how happy they are, so I kind of think a lot of the movement is BS.
    ^
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    Options
    It's not beautiful. It's delusional, and it's going to kill her soon. How is impending death sexy? I also highly doubt this woman actually possesses confidence. She may have found a niche where she feels somewhat accepted and has worked that to her advantage, but she would have to be in extreme discomfort in her body. It's sad, and it's scary. Everyone deserves acceptance and love, but it's so easy to delude yourself into thinking what you're doing is okay when you have a group of people yelling, "You go, Girl!" Someone needs to tell her, "No, Girl." The whole fat fetish genre is disturbing.
This discussion has been closed.

Categories