Some folks take the family thing too far

As long as youre not being actively hostile to your cousin...no, youre not obligated. Send a nice congratulations card or a gift if you want to...but you're not obligated to show up or make nice if you don't want to. I doubt if this cousin will pay much attention either way. No stress.

I hate the family card, and I REALLY hate the parent card.

My father was an abusive alcoholic in my childhood. He did things to me that no daughter should endure.

As an adult, if I am around my father and he is drinking, he STILL acts inappropriately. On top of that, he is constantly critical and disapproving of anything I do. He is aggressive about telling me how much he hates my husband (of 8 years) and how I don't need college, and why isn't minimum wage good enough for me?

He pedestals my sister. She's 19, married to an abusive man, and has a baby she doesn't take care of. She doesn't have college, or a job, and the army kicked her out. But she didn't talk to my dad for 4 years and I did, so he is enthralled with her attention, and mine is unnecessary.

I spent many months at a time not talking to my father. I think I have good reason. I have tried to repair my relationship with him, and my husband always encouraged that, even though he is treated badly. But a lot of my friends have had parent losses, especially father losses. They always criticize me for not giving him another chance. "You only get one father", "you're gonna regret this one day", "you have to be the better person because it will kill you inside when he dies". I hate this crap. YOU may miss YOUR father, but I can't imagine anyone missing my father, a man who still drinks himself to sleep every night and emotionally abuses me whenever I let him near me.

My mother's brother, no one has seen him since our grandmother passed away. He basically stole my other uncle's inheritance money, tried to hold one of the 2 limos at her funeral for his family only. mind you it was his second wife and her kids from another marriage along with their spouces and tried to shove twice that amount of people who are direct family out into the other limo. Plus the money meant for the customary meal after the funeral, well he stole that too. We are all glad we have nothing to do with the selfish b@$!@rd.

I only associate with people who better my life and vice versa. I don't deal with stress or drama. I pick and choose carefully the people I want a relationship with and that includes my family. However, my children, my parents, siblings, nieces and nephews and grandparents I will always have a relationship with regardless. Cousins, not so much. Most of my cousins are drug addicts and incarcerated.

Unfortunately I have lost my parents, one and only sibling and a grandchild, so that makes my family super small, but we are big with love and being the matriarch of my family, I let no one interfere or disturb the peace within.

I hate that too! I don't speak to my two wench sisters. My Aunt recently told me I needed to buck up and let it go because we are family. Um no. Nobody will be in my life or MY family that I have created lives who doesn't treat us with respect. You can take your blood and shove it. I hope that made sense. lol

Nope don't agree with the family is family a d you stick by them no matter what.
I have an aunt who calls me an 'amazon' her way of saying I'm fat, I dress like a slut, and I only visited my grandpa in the hospital for his money. OH and she told me straight out that my mom killed my dad (he was overweight and ate himself to death). Pfft I don't talk to her. Do your own thing and be happy!

No doubt no one can hurt you like family can.

I see nothing wrong with OP ditching this cousins wedding. You can bet this cousin knows damn well why. You can't be a total *kitten* to people in the way described and not know you're being an *kitten*.

Life is awful short to cater to the feelings of people who crap on you.

I think I treat my sister like crap, but I'm always there for her! lol It's love/hate.

I hear ya though, there's family members who you go to all their functions and they never show up to yours... well, I learned long ago to forget about them. Or the family that borrows, never pays you back and will never loan you a penny if you ever need it!

Yes, treat people how you want to be treated. I find myself being overly nice to people because of this and then getting taken advantage of from time to time. Oh, well; karma.

I have a lot of family I chase after to keep in touch with. That's just me though. I try to keep things going, even if they are flakes.

Relations by blood do not have to be family necessarily, tell her/him to shove it.

And then go fly a kite.