I'm REALLY Struggling!

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darlingteapot
darlingteapot Posts: 5
in Health and Weight Loss
I think I've posted here once before but I didn't get much feed back which I so desperately need.

I come from a fat family and I desperately want to change that, I don't want to be diabetic like my mother, or 300lbs like my Grandmother. I can understand and grasp the concept of things like Philosophy, Anatomy and Politics but so help me God I can't understand how to eat better. I'm not sure what it is that I don't understand, if not everything. I'm trying to eat realistically, such as smaller portions and limiting starches but I'm still completely lost. I seem to be GAINING weight.

Does anyone know any websites that provide generated menu plans so I can get started and have an idea of what I should be eating? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING.
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Replies

  • majope
    majope Posts: 1,325 Member
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    I like EatingWell.com. Lots of great recipes, and they have some meal plans as well.

    In general, make sure you've got MFP set to a realistic goal where you aren't trying to lose weight too fast, then pay attention to the protein, fat, and carb recommendations. Try to meet what they say for protein and fat, then let the carbs fill up the rest.

    You might try pre-logging your food so you can see how a whole day looks. Then, if you see what you were going to eat is short on protein (for example), you could plan a bigger portion of meat, or some eggs or cottage cheese to up your count.
  • cranium853
    cranium853 Posts: 138 Member
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    Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

    Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

    Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

    Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

    If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?
  • darlingteapot
    darlingteapot Posts: 5
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    I think I'm struggling with trying to micro-manage or maybe I'm putting more thought into than what it actually requires. I'm a type A personality, perfectionist by nature so it can clash with different lifestyle choices. I've read a few sites but I don't understand the breakdown of the groups, if that makes any sense. Unfortunately, my unhealthy relationship with food isn't just what I eat it's also the fact that (for some reason) I register ALL food as bad so I don't eat as much as I should. That's one hurdle I've been struggling with-eating more meals because usually I eat once, maybe twice a day at the most.



    eatingwell.com? I'll look at that! Thanks for the suggestion.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
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    That sounds in part a psychological problem. It might not hurt to consult with a nutritionist. They will be able to help you break through seeing most foods as bad and help build your confidence in creating healthy, satisfying meal plans. Sans that (because not everyone can afford that) take some time cruising the Food and Fitness forum and the Recipe forum. You'll get lots of good ideas about foods that you can fit into your daily life there. Gather friends that eat lots of different foods, that will help too.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
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    I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

    Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

    Then start making changes to your menu.
  • lina011
    lina011 Posts: 427 Member
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    choice healthier options and eat in moderation, exercise as well. maybe talk to a professional if its a deeper issue
  • essaryswife73
    essaryswife73 Posts: 81 Member
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    I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

    Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

    Then start making changes to your menu.

    Everything he said!!!! The biggest help for my husband and myself has been cutting portion sizes of "regular" food. And please talk to someone about you seeing all food as bad. I think that will help tremendously!! It is a slow and steady process. And it's not terribly easy at first. Good luck to you, and feel free to add me as a friend. I'm really into the mutual support on here!!!
  • CaddieMay
    CaddieMay Posts: 356 Member
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    Keep it simple. Eat less, move more. I've found that the longer I've been "doing this," the easier it becomes making healthier choices. A lot of trial and error. You aren't going to become a health-food guru overnight. Not sure that you want to be, either! I find myself looking at friends' food diaries to come up with ideas and options. My diary is rather boring - I tend to eat the same breakfast and lunch every day - but it's working for me right now. I'm keeping it simple. Maybe somewhere down the road I will branch out and eat a lot of different foods, but for right now, I'm sticking with what I know. I'm pretty new at this, so I'm still in the practice phase.

    Don't worry yourself over details. Eat less, move more. More will be revealed as time passes. :smile:
  • Coyoteldy
    Coyoteldy Posts: 219 Member
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    I agree... eating right is always the goal but dieting is simple math.. calories out have ot be more than calories in. I make sure to exercise every single day while making sure my intake is below my maintenece number. If you eat less and move more, you will lose weight.
  • miame22
    miame22 Posts: 16
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    My favorite sources for meal planning are The Eat Clean books, Clean Eating Magazine and Oxygen Magazine. I would start with getting a Eat Clean book from the library and reading it, any of them are good and they all have a couple of weeks meal plans in it. Then I suggest getting a subscription to either Clean Eating or Oxygen Magazine (not Oprah's magaizine!) They both have a months worth of meal plans in them. They average about 15 to 1700 calories a day. I don't usually end up eating all that because even if I eat every 3 hours I don't have that many meals in my day.
    You can do this!
    Avoid processed food! Eat things that were once living or came from something that was once living, not a manufacturer. Drink lots of water and DO NOT DRINK your calories unless it is a protein shake before or after a work out OR if you are juicing/smoothie-ing for micro nutrients.
  • cleback
    cleback Posts: 261 Member
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    I second the idea of pre-logging. Then you have time to think about your food and make the appropriate adjustments.
  • Emglyfolk
    Emglyfolk Posts: 30 Member
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    Bouncing all over food and diet web sites can be frustrating as well as confusing. Try and find a 'diet' that appeals to you. One that I like is the 'Mediterranean diet'. It is a very balanced diet with lots of flavour. Get a book that appeals to you with food plans and keep it handy in the kitchen. Don't buy any book without calories for each recipe. Unfortunately we need food to survive and it is often free, appealing, legal, and the salt, fat and sugar is addicting.... this isn't easy. Don't pressure yourself. If you can see a dietician - that is great advise.... Good luck, stay focused on YOU and don't try to do to much at once...this takes time.
  • miame22
    miame22 Posts: 16
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    I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

    Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

    Then start making changes to your menu.

    I absolutely and fundamentally disagree with almost everything this person said. If you are struggling with not eating enough (1 mega meal a day) your metabolism is shot. So you need to eat healthy, clean, natural foods. Once you are eating healthily and regularly then you can focus on calorie counting. I swear to you no one ever got fat eating only fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources. It is all the other crap they eat in addition to those things.

    I do absolutely agree that you need to write down (track electronically) EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Yes the reality is Calories Out - Calories In = weight loss but until you have a realistic and healthy eating habit, don't obsess over eating less.
  • lynkage1986
    lynkage1986 Posts: 5 Member
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    Try this ( I am not a dietician, this is what works for me, its part of the Master your metabolism book I have)

    cut out diet soda, drink tea or water
    CUT OUT all white grains, switch to whole wheat tortillas, bread and brown rice ( they cause spikes in insulin, causing the hunger hormone grehlin to go crazy!)

    Breakfast:
    2 egg whites + 1 egg scrambled (use olive oil cooking spray or use a napkin to spread a little in the pan)
    1 Piece Dave's Killer bread ( i like 21 grain)

    Snack:
    1 apple cut into wedges
    2 tbsp (measuring is crucial!) almond butter

    Lunch:
    4 oz. chicken breast, either grilled or poached (about the size of your palm)
    1/2 cup brown rice

    Dinner:
    4 oz chicken or steak broiled or grilled
    2 or so cups of steamed veggies (no corn, there is absolutely no nutrition value in it!) examples : Brocolli, kale, spiniach, califlower, 1/2 cup of carrots. The greener the better!!

    You should be eating every Three or four hours, and no snacks 2 1/2 hours before bed, you want your body to be burning off your reserved fat, not your last meal..

    There are other snacks you can have to switch it up
    hummus (2 tbsp) and carrots
    Almonds(20) and yogurt
    salsa (make sure its fresh) 1 serving of tortilla chips

    I hope this helps, the food combos I gave should help level out your hormones, there is so much false information out there on what is healthy for us, especially since large food chains are behind most of the health ads. Let me know if this works for you !
  • valmaebel
    valmaebel Posts: 1,045 Member
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    Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

    Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

    Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

    Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

    If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?

    Gotta say, that's a little harsh. There is plenty of information out there, but often the sheer amount is daunting, not to mention the fact that so many people clash on how we should or should not eat. I like your suggestions, they are very easy to impliment. but lets all keep in mind that shooting down someone for asking for help is not the point of these forums. I would rather feel comfortable to ask the stupid questions than wander around confused.

    That said, I second the idea of seeing a nutritionist if you can. My doctor referred me to one and she had some very simple ideas to help get me on the right track. They have a great amount of knowledge and usually some down to earth ideas on how to get you started.

    I also second the idea on focusing on portions first. There is a huge amount of information and so many different ways people eat. Every body is different so it will take some time to figure out the right mix for you. But portions is something that everyone should keep track of and so it's a good place to start. Key is to not give up and keep slowly trying new things. Give something a several weeks to work before switching to something new.
  • darlingteapot
    darlingteapot Posts: 5
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    Thank you all so much for the feedback! I'm going to print this stuff out and use it when I'm meal planning, glad to know that there's people out there that can explain it without being rude (:
  • Will_Thrust_For_Candy
    Will_Thrust_For_Candy Posts: 6,109 Member
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    I'm not sure where you are located, but google something like Canada's Food Guide. I'm sure that most country's have such a thing, but I'm only familiar with mine. It's a very nice looking chart that breaks down the food groups. At least from there you will have an idea of how the groupings work, somewhat. Enough to get started. From there you just have to measure/weight and count the calories....input them in MFP and let the system do the math for you.

    One change at a time and baby steps and you can do this! It's very basic....calories in vs calories out. You might just need to spend some time educating yourself.

    ETA: Also, please don't get caught up in concerning yourself with meal timing, eating every 2-3 hours, or not eating before bed at this point. In the grand scheme of things, these things don't make any difference, although with that being said, do what works for YOU.
  • NanaWubbie
    NanaWubbie Posts: 248 Member
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    Lean Cuisines twice a day worked well for me. They helped me learn portion sizes, and they have a cool little reward program to boot. Learning to eat right takes time, especially if you didn't learn it from your family. I was there... It took years to break the cycle. Holidays are about the people, not about the food. Don't celebrate anything with food, as it will sabotage you. Lose 10 pounds? Get a manicure. 20? ....a new outfit. 30? A new hairstyle. Get active. Try new recipes. Try new vegetables. Try old vegetables. Use MyFitnessPal to know clearly where you boundaries are. I wanted a glass of wine with dinner tonight, so I walked my butt off earlier today so I stayed within my calorie budget. I have to plan my meals. Fast food is a no-no, unless I can see a menu and plan what I am going to have ahead of time. Good luck in your journey.
  • darlingteapot
    darlingteapot Posts: 5
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    Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

    Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

    Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

    Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

    If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?

    Gotta say, that's a little harsh. There is plenty of information out there, but often the sheer amount is daunting, not to mention the fact that so many people clash on how we should or should not eat. I like your suggestions, they are very easy to impliment. but lets all keep in mind that shooting down someone for asking for help is not the point of these forums. I would rather feel comfortable to ask the stupid questions than wander around confused.

    That said, I second the idea of seeing a nutritionist if you can. My doctor referred me to one and she had some very simple ideas to help get me on the right track. They have a great amount of knowledge and usually some down to earth ideas on how to get you started.

    I also second the idea on focusing on portions first. There is a huge amount of information and so many different ways people eat. Every body is different so it will take some time to figure out the right mix for you. But portions is something that everyone should keep track of and so it's a good place to start. Key is to not give up and keep slowly trying new things. Give something a several weeks to work before switching to something new.


    Thanks for that...she definitely made me feel stupid for asking the question. The internet can be overwhelming because not only is there so much information, it can also contradict what you read 3 pages ago!
  • bikhi
    bikhi Posts: 175
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    i have lost 74 pounds by just eating less and moving more.

    the only thing i cut from my diet was alcohol. i still eat mexican, chinese, italian, everything. just a lot less of it. as far as i'm concerned no food is bad. now that i'm close to my goal i am slowly increasing my intake of calories.

    for exercise all i did for the first 60 pounds was walk or ride an exercise bike for an hour a day. 20 minutes here, 20 minutes there. as long as it added up to an hour.

    i have stalled for as long as 2 months but finally lost more. if i can do it anyone can. i'm 57 years old and have learned how to do it.

    you can too.

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