Do you tell everyone?

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  • ethibodaux
    ethibodaux Posts: 29
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    I never tell. Due to years and years and years of eating disorders, if i SAY weight-loss im threatened with hospitalization. So i focus on fitness when asked anything about it.
  • IndigoFlowers
    IndigoFlowers Posts: 221 Member
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    No I don't tell everyone... The only people that knew I was actively trying to lose weight were my parents, my best friend and my boyfriend... everyone else didn't hear a single word about it, they only observed me shrinking before their eyes! And barely anyone ever asked either if I had lost weight.

    My friends weren't the type to talk about eating or working out, so I never thought to bring it up when I was with them. For some reason I kept losing weight as a very personal thing, it was my journey and I focused on me and what I could do to get where I needed to be! Not what everyone else was doing/thinking.
  • nomorepizza2
    nomorepizza2 Posts: 85 Member
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    I decided to only tell friends and family. It became impossible to avoid the subject at work since I lost a goodly amount of weight and they keep asking me how I did it. They seem genuinely surprised when I tell them it was counting calories and exercise! Everyone wants a miracle cure.
  • tachyon_master
    tachyon_master Posts: 226 Member
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    A major con (in my opinion anyway), is that people suddenly find the need to comment on every single thing you eat or drink, and how much exercise you do.

    My experience has unfortunately bordered on full on harassment and bullying from some people. To the point where I have had to lodge formal complaints with the HR department at work. Nothing's been done - yet. But I'm hoping they'll address it soon. Because if I were to speak to some of these people about being fat they way they speak to me about losing weight, I'm pretty sure I would have faced disciplinary action or lost my job over it pretty damn quick.
  • corsayre8
    corsayre8 Posts: 551 Member
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    For me it really depends on the person. For instance there is a woman at work, who has the best of intentions, and everyday asks me questions. "Did you get your run in?" "How many calories do you get a day?" "What is your protein intake?" All standard questions, and coming from a place of support. But there is something about how it is asked that comes off like she is monitoring me. I don't want to be accountable to anyone, I'm doing this for me, and no one else. Besides, I don't want to have to feel like I'm making excuses when I say, "no, I'm taking a few days off of running because my ankle is bothering me." Or "no, I'm not eating candy, they are nuts, and I have the calories for them."
  • VasylP
    VasylP Posts: 136 Member
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    Because I have started this journey so many times, right now it is my journey and no one else's. Most people are detractors because in all honesty they don't like to see people who are stronger then they are or competitors. To take on the journey of loosing weight and changing your lifestyle takes a great deal of effort. Most people like the easy way out and they will throw a wrench, or as my Brit friend's say, a spanner into the works. Set your goals... set your frame of mind and find like minded individuals - many who you have never met to keep you focused.... The rest will just screw you up.. they eat **** and will always eat ****, and thus they have **** for brains.. it is a harsh way of saying things, but it is reality.
  • barb1241
    barb1241 Posts: 324 Member
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    I definitely tell everyone-I am proud of what I've been able to do through better food choices and exercise. And I hope I can be some kind of an inspiration for anyone who is currently in the position I was in 3 years ago when I started out. It is hard to begin, and hard to stick with it, but it can be done. I didn't have the benefit of a gym, or a "diet" or meals delivered or a trainer or a dietician or whatever.. But, I was motivated enough to do what I could (can) to figure it out. And have stuck to it-so I am proof that persistence pays off even if it is a journey not a race.

    My friends all know I am trying to lose weight and don't give me a hard time at all. One of my friends makes the most amazing fattening comfort food desserts on the planet. When she and her hubs come over for dinner here, or we go there-she always makes something decadent. But she knows it is MY choice to eat it or not. My hubs usually does and I usually don't. I almost always take my own splenda with me, tea bags, coffee, diet soda, whatever food I need to fit into my plan if it's a potluck. LOL! I had a meeting a couple of weeks ago and I was in charge of the snacks, so I took crap and garbage. Our host house thought about me and bought fresh fruit.

    It may be different because I am 51 not 21-and my friends are even older ;-)
  • pangy1958
    pangy1958 Posts: 151 Member
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    Every time I told people in the past, I ended up failing and gaining back the weight, plus some. Also a lot of people felt like it was an invitation to tell me how to lose weight or what I was doing wrong.


    ^^^THIS!

    I've started and stopped my journey so many times...I feel like at this point, if I made the big FB announcement, everyone would either blow it off or be waiting for me to fail again.

    Nope, this isn't for THEM, it's for ME! I have the support of my husband and a few choice friends/family members and that's all I need. The rest will figure it out when they see me shrinking.
  • ednaflores619
    ednaflores619 Posts: 17 Member
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    I used to share my progress on facebook because I was happy and wanted to share. I would get a lot of positive feedback. However, I hated that suddenly people think they are a dietitians and tell you what exercises to do and what to eat. I was doing Weight Watchers and they have many success stories, so when people would ask me what I eat and tell them "everything", many of them would start giving me their two cents. I also noticed that people watch everything I eat. If one day I decide to eat ice cream, they comment "i thought you were on a diet". I would rather only tell people closest to me.
  • fresh_start59
    fresh_start59 Posts: 590 Member
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    Both my sons use MFP (but neither use the forums). My parents, sister, best friend and doctor know that I'm trying to get healthy. Other than that, I've not really said anything to anyone. Why?

    Aside from it being none of their business, I don't want people looking over my shoulder saying, "Are you allowed to eat that?" or "I thought you were dieting."

    BTW ... I am NOT dieting. I'm watching what I eat, allowing myself to have a few indulgences and I'm trying to move more.

    Also, for some weird reason, I feel that telling others is a sure way to set myself up for failure. I have no idea where that feeling comes from. It's just there.

    I'm almost six months into my journey to better health and I've lost about 22 pounds. It is a slow, steady loss. Part of me wishes I would lose faster. Another part wants to lose so slowly that people don't really notice. I am one of those people who don't like to draw attention to herself.
  • DrWilyMD
    DrWilyMD Posts: 14
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    I share major milestones on FB, but it's not something I tell people everyday in face-to-face conversation. I'm very open if they ask, but I don't advertise it to the world.
  • astronomicals
    astronomicals Posts: 1,537 Member
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    No. If you tell people they either ask for advice or give you their own crappy advice.. This is almost always true... :)
  • angelcurry130
    angelcurry130 Posts: 265 Member
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    I told family and close friends, but I didn't make a big deal about it. It keeps me accountable and they can celebrate with me after each goal I hit.
  • foremaar012
    foremaar012 Posts: 60
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    When i first began i only told people that were close to me, that way if i said " no" to an extra slice or beer they wouldn't think i was crazy. Then as things progressed I told more people when they started telling me i was shrinking. It felt good to have people notice, and also let them know that hey it takes a lot of dedication and gym time to lose weight. It started becoming awkward though when people just only commented on it, it heard a lot of negative things about my heavier self and a lot of commits of how "easy" i made it seem. Although i'm the same person i've put a lot of work and hard hours at the gym to lose just 23lbs and I still feel like I'm the same person, I just don't eat mcdonalds or cheetos at my desk anymore. It feels good hearing people congratulate me on the loss but I wish i didn't make it so public. especially when they seem negative about my heavier self, like today, someoeone said : i always use to think you were just pregnant..."
  • AllisonConnell1301
    AllisonConnell1301 Posts: 98
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    pros: encouragement, accountability, your hard work will be noticed

    cons: if you don't end up losing weight people will be asking, embarrassed if you fail
  • melbournemummy79
    melbournemummy79 Posts: 80
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    When i first began i only told people that were close to me, that way if i said " no" to an extra slice or beer they wouldn't think i was crazy. Then as things progressed I told more people when they started telling me i was shrinking. It felt good to have people notice, and also let them know that hey it takes a lot of dedication and gym time to lose weight. It started becoming awkward though when people just only commented on it, it heard a lot of negative things about my heavier self and a lot of commits of how "easy" i made it seem. Although i'm the same person i've put a lot of work and hard hours at the gym to lose just 23lbs and I still feel like I'm the same person, I just don't eat mcdonalds or cheetos at my desk anymore. It feels good hearing people congratulate me on the loss but I wish i didn't make it so public. especially when they seem negative about my heavier self, like today, someoeone said : i always use to think you were just pregnant..."

    And I hope the person with the mouth on them got a whack in the gob for that comment! How freakin rude! It is never ok to say things like that to a woman... ever. What ever happened to polite conversation and being respectful.
  • nobleammonite
    nobleammonite Posts: 64 Member
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    I don't like to tell people because in general, they make it sound like I have an eating disorder. "You've gotten so skinny!" "You shouldn't lose any more!" "Are you sure you're eating enough?" I didn't start out very overweight, so maybe that's part of it, coupled with the fact that I'm 4'11" and people don't seem to get that 130 on me is waaaaaaay different than 130 on someone even five inches taller. And I don't understand how people who see me only part of the day can tell me I'm not eating enough - they don't know what my other meals are like!

    I hate people commenting on my choices anyway, so no, I don't tell them any more. If they ask, I avoid the words "weight" and "loss" at all costs, and try to steer the conversation toward fitness. That has worked much better for me, because most people I know don't do much exercise and just let the topic go after that. (With one exception, and thinking about this dude still sends me into a rage - we were talking about running, and I said that while I didn't enjoy it while I was doing it, I sure loved finishing my run every day. He practically scolded me and told me that I had to find some form of exercise I enjoyed. That under no circumstance should I force myself to do something I didn't like. Well, newsflash, mister, I've never met an exercise I did like. I'm a slug! I find moving around a lot to be very tiresome. But running is easy, accessible, and empowering for me, and the fact that I like being done with it better that doing it isn't going to stop me! Ugh.)
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    I told my husband so that he wouldn't bring home cookies and candy from work but other than that I didn't tell anyone. I wanted to surprise my family with the full weight loss so I refused to let anyone take and post pictures of my for months after the weight loss started to show.

    Pros -
    I knew it was a once in a lifetime chance to make a dramatic entrance and that meant failure was not an option.
    I didn't have to report every loss and gain so there was a minimal amount of disappointment when the scale didn't match my efforts
    I learned that I have the will power to achieve things even when I don't have an external support system.

    Cons-
    I turned down several social gatherings because my will power was not strong enough and no one was going to hold me to it
    I didn't get many progress pictures
    I had no one to talk to when it was harder than I thought I could bare
    No one was watching so the temptation to cheat was greater

    I wouldn't change the way I did it because it was successful and I had a moment where I shocked everyone and it was priceless.
  • TamsinEllis
    TamsinEllis Posts: 293
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    I actually tell very few people, the only people who know are close friends who are also trying to lose weight. I don't like the idea of telling everyone since I spoke with a friend about my weight loss (thus far) since she was going on about how she wanted to lose weight etc etc. The next week all she could go on about (in person and over the internet - publicly) was how she's so happy how she is and doesn't want to make herself miserable by denying herself this, that and the other and how she is healthy and doesn't want to become unhealthy and obsessive like "certain people". (Note: I'm not miserable or unhealthy at all haha, though I would say I'm obsessive) All that just made me feel quite low and unwilling to share with people.
  • bunbunzee44
    bunbunzee44 Posts: 592 Member
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    only a few people know. I've been through this before and sometimes the comments are so negative and hurtful I find it best not to mention a thing. I don't try to lose anymore but I still refuse to eat certain things that I know are not good for me (and I don't even really like!). It's my body and nobody else has any business saying anything about it!

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