I'm REALLY Struggling!

This is why I love MFP...basically only one rude person and a whole lot of encouragement and helpful advice! I'm even taking notes for myself! . I took a break from counting calories for a bit and instead focused on getting a solid work out routine in place. Once it became routine I came back to MFP and have started focusing on my eating habits. For me, I have to focus on one thing at a time or I just drop the ball on everything. So far so good!

I friended you, I just to be 330pds, I lost 138pds (gained some back bc I had another child) Have a look at my diary that is what I have ate when I lost all that weight! This month I have lost 16 pds! Its really quite easy. If your mind is not ready to lose weight you wont!! So make sure you are really ready or your setting yourself up for failure!! Good luck! Message me if you wanna know/talk more!

Personally I just watch my calories, I think if you're just starting stick with just the calories for now or you might get overwhelmed with fat, carbs, etc. You'll find that the calories in food will often will be linked to how much fat/carbs they have anyway (i.e. you won't find some the is high in fat, but at the same time low in calories). Later when you get a hang of counting calories you can start trying to meet the fat/carbs/protein levels MFP recommends. I use to struggle to stay under my calories, but over time I've found foods that are lower in calories that still leave me satisfied.

I good rule of thumb is to divide your daily allowance into 3 (i.e 1200 cals = 3 X 400 calorie meals), that way when you're eating a 500 calorie meal you know that's probably going to put you over at the end of the day unless you burn that extra 200 calories you ate. If you want snacks in between reduce each meal a little and pick low calorie snacks like fruit (I usually try and not eat more than 100 calorie snacks between meals). This is where pre logging your food also comes in handy, you can see how many calories you have left/or are over (so you can eat something a little naughtier, or healthier).

If you are looking for recipes there's some great cookbooks out there. I love "400 Calorie Fix" which is full of recipes that are 400 calories or less and tells you how many calories are in each recipe (though I usually prefer to make my own "recipe" on MFP using the brands I prefer which sometimes ends up higher or lower than they say in the book). The book is good because 1200 calories is around the minimum a female should be eating so it's 3 meals out of the book a day (I usually make my own breakfast, and since most recipes serve 4-6 I will have the same meal for lunch and dinner for 2-3 days, which saves me cooking everyday. I think i'd get feed up of cooking something everyday). When you go shopping looking at different brands is good too, I usually like to pick the one that has the lowest calories, it also sometimes puts me off buying things that are high in calories (i.e. chocolate :P). Of course I have other books and recipes I use that I find online.

As to portions. If your are currently eating big ones, I suggest slowly reducing them otherwise it'll leave you hungry and you might end up binging/snacking too much on food. After awhile you'll get use to smaller portions and your stomach will "shrink" and you'll find you'll likely not be able to eat as much as you use too.

Wow that was long but hopefully helpful :P

I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

Then start making changes to your menu.

I absolutely and fundamentally disagree with almost everything this person said. If you are struggling with not eating enough (1 mega meal a day) your metabolism is shot. So you need to eat healthy, clean, natural foods. Once you are eating healthily and regularly then you can focus on calorie counting. I swear to you no one ever got fat eating only fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources. It is all the other crap they eat in addition to those things.

I do absolutely agree that you need to write down (track electronically) EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Yes the reality is Calories Out - Calories In = weight loss but until you have a realistic and healthy eating habit, don't obsess over eating less.

Stop pushing your CLEAN eating on this girl. She is struggling enough without you pushing your lifestyle on her. Give her a chance to find her own way.

www.skinnytaste.com & www.eatyourselfskinny.com you can still eat the things you love but a healthier version of it. Good Luck!

You can still get FAT eating "clean". It is all about calories in and calories out!! Burn more that you eat and you LOSE weight!!!
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I don't want to steer you away from healthy food choices, but losing weight is a lot more about eating less than eating "right." Of course, there are ways to feel more satiated, not crash from a lot of sugar, etc. But truly, the most important thing (for me at least) with weight loss is eating less.

Try not to get too caught up in eating RIGHT and focus on eating LESS for now. Log everything that goes into your mouth. Everything. Every. Single. Skittle. Or french fry. Or hard boiled egg. Or whatever. Just log it. Do that for a week. There is tremendous power in this simple act.

Then start making changes to your menu.

I absolutely and fundamentally disagree with almost everything this person said. If you are struggling with not eating enough (1 mega meal a day) your metabolism is shot. So you need to eat healthy, clean, natural foods. Once you are eating healthily and regularly then you can focus on calorie counting. I swear to you no one ever got fat eating only fruits, vegetables and lean protein sources. It is all the other crap they eat in addition to those things.

I do absolutely agree that you need to write down (track electronically) EVERYTHING you put in your mouth. Yes the reality is Calories Out - Calories In = weight loss but until you have a realistic and healthy eating habit, don't obsess over eating less.

Stop pushing your CLEAN eating on this girl. She is struggling enough without you pushing your lifestyle on her. Give her a chance to find her own way.
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My favorite sources for meal planning are The Eat Clean books, Clean Eating Magazine and Oxygen Magazine. I would start with getting a Eat Clean book from the library and reading it, any of them are good and they all have a couple of weeks meal plans in it. Then I suggest getting a subscription to either Clean Eating or Oxygen Magazine (not Oprah's magaizine!) They both have a months worth of meal plans in them. They average about 15 to 1700 calories a day. I don't usually end up eating all that because even if I eat every 3 hours I don't have that many meals in my day.
You can do this!
Avoid processed food! Eat things that were once living or came from something that was once living, not a manufacturer. Drink lots of water and DO NOT DRINK your calories unless it is a protein shake before or after a work out OR if you are juicing/smoothie-ing for micro nutrients.

I have to second this... you don't have to follow the programs exactly, but they will help you get a better understanding of healthier options and meal ideas. The books are easy to read and set-up in a way to be great reference materials. Many people believe you can eat whatever you want as long as you're under your daily calorie goal, but I don't agree. I think it's harder because processed foods aren't filling, and high sugar/sodium foods are triggers. You'll feel better and have an better journey LONG TERM if you can stick to healthy foods. If you're goals are a life-style change, than make sure everything you change is sustainable long term. Good luck.

Everyone is different and you need to work out what works for you... You will get tons of advice on here, all valid however ultimately you need to find out what works for you... I totally agree with the following.

1. Log everything you eat and drink
2. Try and up your exercise
3. Do the maths, cals in less than cals used
4. Find out what you like, be brave and try new stuff. I find keeping a journal with notes in the kitchen handy, what worked, what you like and didn't like, what was satisfying, when you felt hungry etc.
5. Give it a few weeks and see how you go, nothing is a miracle!!!

best of luck
Jules

Surely you are kidding. There are a zillion places where one learns how to eat a balanced diet. If you have missed them thus far you are not paying attention, and if you are not paying attention there is a reason for your unwillingness to change.

Change anything. One move for the better is a start. It becomes a habit after a few weeks and you won't remember when it wasn't a part of your life. Here are two changes you might begin with.

Breakfast every day. Make a list of three breakfasts you like that are reasonable and rotate them. So what if it's boring? One of hte things you might need to do is break the fascination with food. Some days I have a really good bread with really good jam, a fruit or a yogurt. A protein, a starch, a fruit. There are some killer all-fruit jams out there.

Get a bag and put your fruits and vegetables for the day into it. Or a pretty basket. I giant purse. I don't care. Eat ALL of the required servings before giving yourself permission for junk. Choose gorgeous vegetables from the grocery, luscious fruits. Eat them fresh and crunchy and with no sauces or camoflage of any kind. Savor them, Tonight I bought fresh corn, radishes, green grapes, tangerines, carrots, hot peppers, tomatoes, onions. I will make a salsa of chopped vegetables or perhaps a gazpacho or perhaps just munch the tomatoes as they are. Start someplace. And start now.

If you won't change, that's your choice. But what exactly are you struggling with?

She's clearly struggling with what to eat! This isn't an uncommon problem. If everyone had it figured out, we wouldn't be on this site right now. Your "WTH are you stupid" tone is unwelcoming and unhelpful. Everyone starts at different points. I love raw and simple veggies, but not everyone is there yet and there's nothing wrong with that. It's a journey, not an express train.

I have to tell myself all the time, don't let the perfect get in the way of the good. I have certain ideals, but am trying to do away with the absolutes. This is not a competition. I do not have to be the best weight-loser. This is for me. I need to be honest with myself and kind to myself.

I am using TDEE (sedentary) - 20ish% + part of my exercise calories (not all, since MFP overestimates calorie burns) and it has been working fine so far.

I am trying to incorporate more veggies, but if it's going to make me grumpy not to have a coke or piece of chocolate or whatever, I fit them in. I try to pay attention to foods that are just.not.worth.it due to how they make me feel/how many calories/etc. and try to keep that in mind for next time, but if I do it again, well, eventually it will sink in, I am pretty stubborn. I try to use my perfectionism to my benefit, in things like "why would I want that nasty stale store-bought artificial crap when I can make it myself and have it taste MUCH better". I make tiny little changes so as not to spook myself and fall into the perfectionism trap again.

I have read so much contradictory information about how/what to eat that finally I just said screw it and am making my own plan, tweaking based on my results (for example, super low carb, not for me, but keeping carbs at 30% instead of 50%, much better, for me, right now). If you want to micro-manage, try micromanaging that kind of thing.

Good luck. :flowerforyou:

Yes, this forum is to help and ask for help, believe it or not, not everyone knows where to look! Jeez

Congrats on fighting the good fight and not being afraid to ask for help. You are way ahead of most people. So sorry for some of the rude pushy people. There's tons of supportive friends on mfp.

When I started last march I was also overwhelmed by the huge confusing info out there. I just started by writing my calorie count on the back of my hand. This was simple, free, I couldn't lose it or forget about it.

Little by little I started looking at healthy carbs, sodium levels, organic and "clean" eating, drinking lots of water and the best workouts. I'm down 105 lbs in less than a year and have 35 more to go.

Totally agree that it is fun and effective to practice pre logging your days. You can keep trading out different foods until you get the nutritional totals you want. Once you create some favorite meals, shopping and cooking will get simpler.

Just take baby steps and do the next thing. Don't try and conquer every diet issue overnight cause it will get discouraging .

Congrats on your progress,
Diana

I dont know if it has been suggested, but your local library may have meal planning books. Books are often less daunting than the millions of bits of information on the internet. I agree with some of the others about how for right now you should concentrate on calories. Just doing this will help you naturally cut out junk foods. You will learn fast that high sugar foods are packed with calories so you can only eat a tiny amount. This tiny amount will not be satisfying so you will go looking for lower calorie versions of this food, which will often be lower sugar. This is not restricted to just sugar. When you look for tortillas, you will likely read every package to see calories and realize you can eat more of the whole grain kind (unless you resort to the white kind with extra fiber that makes it taste nasty). You will slowly train your taste buds to enjoy healthier foods because healthier foods are often naturally lower in calories.

Oh yeah, and one thing that works for me, take tiny bites and really savor your food. If you stop to enjoy each bite, you will feel full faster.

I am not sure if I am explaining this well.

ty so much this will be very helpful!! kinda hard though to "rid" my house since I do have certain people who like different stuff then me ,but one good thing is he isn't here all week so YES I can do this!! You are doing a great job yourself, keep it up!!! together keeping a track of the food and communicating with one another is going to get us there!!what I do is if it is over 300 calories I wont eat it and we have to keep the carbs down!!! I live for the day my day loss will be 40 pounds,I need encouragement and support and this site seems to give it to me, so please keep replying cause it does help...again keep up the good work!!!!