Just want to be normal :(
sazroy
Posts: 262 Member
(Posted this in two sections because I just want advice/support)
So sick and tired of seeing girls who eat like pigs and do absolutely no exercise and drink their lives away and don't even go to work and are a size ten and then there's me, who has had a slight slump but still work each day and eat well but just haven't been depriving myself as much for 2 weeks, I gave myself a TWO WEEKS from being obsessively strict and I've gained 1.7kgs. I'm sick of it, I eat one bad meal and it stays on me. I know people say it's not possible but for me it is, my metabolism is farked, can't live like a normal person without gaining weight, what is wrong with me!?
Sorry for the rant but I'm serious I can't handle it anymore, if I eat ONE meal or maybe even TWO meals that are above 500cal, I gain weight and it's not water weight, it doesn't go away after a few days, it stays, it's another two weeks of strict eating and exercise to shift 1-2 500 calorie meals. I store EVERYTHING! I went off MFP for a while because I was obsessively counting everything, I couldn't even have tea with my family without stressing about what was being served because I wasn't in control and then there are girls I know who are lazy, do nothing, don't even have a job, size ten, eat crap, eat junk, drink every single day and never gain!
So sick and tired of seeing girls who eat like pigs and do absolutely no exercise and drink their lives away and don't even go to work and are a size ten and then there's me, who has had a slight slump but still work each day and eat well but just haven't been depriving myself as much for 2 weeks, I gave myself a TWO WEEKS from being obsessively strict and I've gained 1.7kgs. I'm sick of it, I eat one bad meal and it stays on me. I know people say it's not possible but for me it is, my metabolism is farked, can't live like a normal person without gaining weight, what is wrong with me!?
Sorry for the rant but I'm serious I can't handle it anymore, if I eat ONE meal or maybe even TWO meals that are above 500cal, I gain weight and it's not water weight, it doesn't go away after a few days, it stays, it's another two weeks of strict eating and exercise to shift 1-2 500 calorie meals. I store EVERYTHING! I went off MFP for a while because I was obsessively counting everything, I couldn't even have tea with my family without stressing about what was being served because I wasn't in control and then there are girls I know who are lazy, do nothing, don't even have a job, size ten, eat crap, eat junk, drink every single day and never gain!
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Replies
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You havent filled in your diary recently to know what those meals are...but a few 500 calorie meals wont make you gain weight....but meals that are high in sodium may be doing that....or if you have a increase in the amount of carbs in your meals it may cause the scales to fluctuate...but that is just water weight..0
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Your diary isnt filled in so I can't help you with that. I suspect that you have been eating very low calorie and your metabolism has slowed. As such when you eat normal you will add weight as fat. But I would need more info.0
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Absolutely my case0
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Comparing yourself to others is meaningless at best.
I think also you might find a lot more benefit if you don't concentrate on weight loss or gain but health and wellbeing with the aim of health and happiness.
- Eat a healthy well-balanced calorie controlled diet.
- Engage in regular high-intensity exercise
- Adopt healthy sleep regime.
- Maintain healthy relationships with friends, family and the wider community.
- Engage in healthy pass-times/hobbies.
This will change your life. And you may just find that weight loss will be a welcome by-product of this sustainable approach.
kind regards,
Ben0 -
Scales aren't the best way to measure progress or lack thereof because the number displayed is subject to all sorts of variables that many people refuse to consider/understand. Hormonal fluctuations, water retention, constipation, not being consistent with how you weigh yourself, etc. etc. All sorts of stuff, some which you can control, but a lot of it you just can't. There is no reason to look to the scale for validation, though. Use a measuring tape, the fit of your clothing and photos. Those ways of evaluating progress are much more accurate and give a fuller picture of what is actually going on.
I regularly eat meals well over 500 calories and it doesn't cause me to gain weight. Like the previous poster, I also suspect you're not eating enough and that's why you're feeling so frustrated and angry.
Perhaps you should log your food a bit and open your diary so people can give you more helpful answers?0 -
those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.
The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.
Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.
So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.0 -
You gained nearly 1KG per week???0
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You gained nearly 1KG per week???
Yes.
This is what I mean, I've always gained like this. I once gained 10kg in one month because I was out with friends every night and therefore snacking more, but I was also walking everyday for hours. This is not an over exaggeration. I'm being completely serious, I've gone to my doctor for years, she doesn't even want to do a hormone test on me even though i've asked several times.
I've recently gone off the pill in a bid to try and get my natural hormones back in order, I suffer almost every side effect of the pill including the constant fatigue.0 -
those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.
The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.
Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.
So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.
I hope that's true
I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.
I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.0 -
That math doesn't work. I suspect you are actually taking in more calories than you think. If you must obsess, do it counting calories at a healthy number.0
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Are you wearing your HRM while resting? If so, you need to know that those calories are not accurate at all and should not be taken into consideration.
Also, water weight for some people takes weeks to drop off... not just days like it does for some. So what you are seeing as gain, could be water weight.0 -
those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.
The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.
Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.
So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.
I hope that's true
I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.
I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.
I would say that the gains you saw from eating 1500 cals/day were water and glycogen gains, not fat. Is your weight currently stable?0 -
That math doesn't work. I suspect you are actually taking in more calories than you think. If you must obsess, do it counting calories at a healthy number.
How does that not work?0 -
Are you wearing your HRM while resting? If so, you need to know that those calories are not accurate at all and should not be taken into consideration.
Also, water weight for some people takes weeks to drop off... not just days like it does for some. So what you are seeing as gain, could be water weight.
I wore my HRM for a few days in a row, from morning to bed, including sitting down and having a break, just to get an idea of what it said I burnt in a day,0 -
Hi, I feel your frustration, I'm a little the same, although I've recently had a baby which makes it really hard to shift weight. I'm about to try the paleo diet, I figure it's the carbs as I get tired when I eat them. Send me a friend message if you like, we can try motivate each other!0
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those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.
The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.
Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.
So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.
I hope that's true
I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.
I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.
I would say that the gains you saw from eating 1500 cals/day were water and glycogen gains, not fat. Is your weight currently stable?
I'm not sure, as of this morning I was 75.7kgs.0 -
Are you wearing your HRM while resting? If so, you need to know that those calories are not accurate at all and should not be taken into consideration.
Also, water weight for some people takes weeks to drop off... not just days like it does for some. So what you are seeing as gain, could be water weight.
I wore my HRM for a few days in a row, from morning to bed, including sitting down and having a break, just to get an idea of what it said I burnt in a day,
Well disregard those numbers.
Either go with TDEE when trying to figure out how much to eat or go with MFP.
Also, if you want to up calories, then up them slowly.. like a hundred at a time or so.0 -
It is easily possible to put on a 1kg in a week... I often weigh a lot more on a Monday than a Friday due to the weekend indulgence. Likewise, you can easily lose a 1kg in a week.
Some people are more predisposed to put on weight than others and a lot of it comes down to genetic make up. If you think about it in terms of a fuel gauge but the F for Full representing Fat Storage and the E for Empty representing Energy the fact is each of us will have a different measure... Some will point to the far right meaning they are more predisposed to gain weight easily and store fat whilst others who are to the far left can eat pretty much anything and their bodies will continue to burn calories and store little fat.
However, saying that, there are very few people who have genetic disorders who find it impossible to lose weight regardless of what they do. So the fact is, it is still in your control and you can do something about it. I know it must be incredibly frustrating and we have all been there where we think we have had a great week and got on the scale only to find that we have had a gain... It really dents confidence and motivation.
Depending upon where you are on the scale you need to adjust your diet accordingly. Overall it looks like your diet is Ok in terms of calorie intake but you may need to experiment with your calorie intake to find the sweet spot, I.e. don't go to low and likewise not too high. Also, I would suggest losing the carbs, particularly the rice in the evening. Instead replace with proteins and healthy fats. Also, in terms of your exercise routine, then mix it up and try something new and keep experimenting.
Believe it or not... You are perfectly normal!
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Well unfortunatly the new "normal" is overeating and no movement. You don't want to be normal! Just be yourself and do what works for you. If you stress over it as well it won't help take any of the weight off. I'm sorry that you feel so down on yourself but you need to look at what made you start this journey and then take a look at the normal and realize that you want to be amazing not normal. Good Luck!0
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I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.
I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.
So you were on a VLCD (very low calorie diet ) for your body weight, height, age? For how long? If you were on that for any length of time you have very likely messed up your metabolism a little. Given what you are saying..that you started gaining at 1500 it makes sense. For your current weight as listed in your profile your BMR is close to 1500 - or it would be in a normal situation. This means that everything you do ABOVE laying in bed all day (so anything) needs more than 1500 calories.
In order to get back to 'normal' you will need to try to reset your metabolism. From a post last year by mommamuscles (I am not sure if this was the original source but it was good advice)Heres some basics:
1. If you're coming from a VLCD, start with a metabolism reset, eating TDEE for 6-12 weeks (basically, until weight gain stabilizes)
2. If you are not coming from a history of VLCD, or once you have finished your reset, you will move onto your cut phase (provided your goal is weight loss) which is TDEE -15%.
3. Every 6-8 weeks, spend 1-2 weeks (personal preference, or when your weight loss stalls), eating at TDEE.
4. Ditch the scale in favor of the measuring tape and progress photos.
5. Dont overdo exercise, but do use it to accomplish your fitness goals.
6. Weight training is not "required" but is highly recommended as building muscle will assist with fat burning.
7. Clean eating is also not "required" but is highly recommended.
8. Recommended macros are 40/40/30.
9. Make sure you are calculating your activity level appropriately, using HOURS of activity, not calorie burn. Strength training most definitely counts toward your activity level.
10. If you net under BMR, you must eat those extra calorie goals so that you are not netting under BMR. One or two days of netting under BMR over the course of several months is not going to be a big deal. However, one or two days per week will affect your metabolism.
Basically, if you are gaining weight eating an amount of calories that 'should' be too low for your stats (which you are) then you can make a reasonable assumption that your metabolism is no longer normal.0 -
Have you considered trying to gain muscle mass through heavy lifting? I've written and spoken the exact words that you just wrote. I understand,...maybe you are losing a battle with yoru metabolism- dieting off muscle and slowing things down- that is what it sounds like to me. I was caught in the same loop- six day vacation and my weight shoots up. I was getting real tired of it. Maybe read The NEw Rules of Lifitng for Women and see how it sits with you?0
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they all have tapeworm 0
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I knew girls in my high school class who ate whatever they wanted and were thin. At my 30th year reunion, it was apparent that time had caught up with them & several are now obese. Nothing new, it happens time and time again. My point is, do NOT envy them.
You are very young. I was about 21 when I got my weight down & under control, and you can too. Great time for you to do this.
Don't despair! You'll be getting a lot of tips from others here, I just want you to not get discouraged by what others around you are doing. :flowerforyou:0 -
In order to get back to 'normal' you will need to try to reset your metabolism. From a post last year by mommamuscles (I am not sure if this was the original source but it was good advice)Heres some basics:
1. If you're coming from a VLCD, start with a metabolism reset, eating TDEE for 6-12 weeks (basically, until weight gain stabilizes)
2. If you are not coming from a history of VLCD, or once you have finished your reset, you will move onto your cut phase (provided your goal is weight loss) which is TDEE -15%.
3. Every 6-8 weeks, spend 1-2 weeks (personal preference, or when your weight loss stalls), eating at TDEE.
4. Ditch the scale in favor of the measuring tape and progress photos.
5. Dont overdo exercise, but do use it to accomplish your fitness goals.
6. Weight training is not "required" but is highly recommended as building muscle will assist with fat burning.
7. Clean eating is also not "required" but is highly recommended.
8. Recommended macros are 40/40/30.
9. Make sure you are calculating your activity level appropriately, using HOURS of activity, not calorie burn. Strength training most definitely counts toward your activity level.
10. If you net under BMR, you must eat those extra calorie goals so that you are not netting under BMR. One or two days of netting under BMR over the course of several months is not going to be a big deal. However, one or two days per week will affect your metabolism.
Basically, if you are gaining weight eating an amount of calories that 'should' be too low for your stats (which you are) then you can make a reasonable assumption that your metabolism is no longer normal.
This is all great advice.
Your body could probably do with a break from eating such a low calorie diet which has likely suppressed your metabolism over time. A 'metabolic reset' would be a good step to take at this time to normalise your metabolism to where it should be . After that you should be able to start losing fat at a sensible deficit that does not leave you deprived.
Calculate your TDEE here: http://scoobysworkshop.com/calorie-calculator/
Please don't compare yourself to your friends. Maybe they do eat a lot and appear sedentary when you are around them but you do not know what their activity and caloric intake is like when you are not there.0 -
ThisComparing yourself to others is meaningless at best.
This!I think also you might find a lot more benefit if you don't concentrate on weight loss or gain but health and wellbeing with the aim of health and happiness.
- Eat a healthy well-balanced calorie controlled diet.
- Engage in regular high-intensity exercise
- Adopt healthy sleep regime.
- Maintain healthy relationships with friends, family and the wider community.
- Engage in healthy pass-times/hobbies.
This will change your life. And you may just find that weight loss will be a welcome by-product of this sustainable approach.
kind regards,0 -
It can be sincerely frustrating to see that in people around you. I get that. But resenting their bodies only makes you further resent yours. It's a long process to change that sort of feeling. But with enough work on your own body, the mind will follow suit. You'll start feel more accepting of what you need to do.0
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Ah, the old guessing routine. Want exact results but don't keep measurements and such. Hmmm.... I was AMAZED at how fast a little snack here and little snack there adds up.I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.0 -
Then eat 1500, looks like from what you're saying you gain at 1700. But if you don't log and measure your food you're really just talking and not doing.those friends of yours who eat like pigs and don't exercise and stay thin.... they may be thin, but thin =/= healthy. Also, maybe they skip meals or do other unhealthy things when you're not around to know, and they're staying thin that way.... but they won't be healthy or have good body composition if they don't exercise and eat a reasonable amount of healthy food. What I mean is, they may look good in clothes, but what do they look like naked? And thin people can still be at risk of metabolic disease, if they are sedentary and eat nothing but junk.
The women I've seen with the best bodies workout at the gym with weights and eat healthy. they look good in a bikini and in clothes. They are fit, strong and healthy. They eat enough to fuel their bodies and get strong.
Eating enough to fuel your body is important, and don't just look at the scale, also take measurements with a tape measure. If you've been undereating then you eat more, your weight will go up and stay there, because your body is replacing glycogen stores. This is healthy and it's not a gain in fat. A lot of women after undereating get freaked out when they see a gain on the scale, thinking they're gaining fat and have messed up their metabolism, but it's just glycogen. It may take a while after starting to eat more before your glycogen stores are filled up again, and yes this will mean a gain in weight but it's not, repeat not, fat. More glycogen in your system = more energy for you, it's not fat.
So, don't freak out about the weight gains. Look for the "in place of a road map" thread and follow the instructions to find out how many calories you can eat and still lose weight, and stay healthy. Many women end up undereating when trying to diet, it's an easy mistake to make, and they usually don't know that they can eat more and still lose weight.
I hope that's true
I lost 10kgs eating 1200 a day through Lite n Easy.
I went up to 1500, started to gain. Went back to 1200, lost a few more kgs. Then began to obsess so stopped counting, hence why my diary is blank for the past few weeks. I'd say i'm probably eating around 1500 ish a day now. My HRM shows i burn 1500-1700 a day just working and daily activities.0 -
It is easily possible to put on a 1kg in a week... I often weigh a lot more on a Monday than a Friday due to the weekend indulgence. Likewise, you can easily lose a 1kg in a week.
Some people are more predisposed to put on weight than others and a lot of it comes down to genetic make up. If you think about it in terms of a fuel gauge but the F for Full representing Fat Storage and the E for Empty representing Energy the fact is each of us will have a different measure... Some will point to the far right meaning they are more predisposed to gain weight easily and store fat whilst others who are to the far left can eat pretty much anything and their bodies will continue to burn calories and store little fat.
However, saying that, there are very few people who have genetic disorders who find it impossible to lose weight regardless of what they do. So the fact is, it is still in your control and you can do something about it. I know it must be incredibly frustrating and we have all been there where we think we have had a great week and got on the scale only to find that we have had a gain... It really dents confidence and motivation.
Depending upon where you are on the scale you need to adjust your diet accordingly. Overall it looks like your diet is Ok in terms of calorie intake but you may need to experiment with your calorie intake to find the sweet spot, I.e. don't go to low and likewise not too high. Also, I would suggest losing the carbs, particularly the rice in the evening. Instead replace with proteins and healthy fats. Also, in terms of your exercise routine, then mix it up and try something new and keep experimenting.
Believe it or not... You are perfectly normal!
^^^^^SO THIS & Very well said!!! ^^^^^^^^
Best of luck. I find it soooo hard to loose and can gain very easily!! I find just about the only way I can loose is to stay on a low carb life style.0 -
Unless you are with those girls 24/7 you don't know how much work they are putting in or what healthy habits they have. When I go out with my friends I drink and eat what I want. I workout every day and watch what I eat the rest of the time but they never see that. You may just not see their effort.
But also like a previous poster stated they could also be thin through unhealthy measures. I know people who only eat one meal a day consisting of fast food. Just focus on getting healthy and not worry about them. It will drive you crazy.0
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