Total Humiliation :(

I'm Maid of Honor at my best friends wedding in May. She's super organised and has had everything booked and paid for over a year in advance. This includes bridesmaids dresses. I had tried on a (UK) size 14 in the spring last year and it fitted perfectly. Now a year on we did the fittngs and I've put on so much weight, when I tried to squeeze it on, I burst all the seams and had to be helped out of it by the bride :'(. I couldn't get on the next size up and have had to buy a replacement two sizes bigger and even thats tight. Urgh, I was so humiliated, I could have, and almost did, cry. Its given me a well needed wake-up call, I just feel so ashamed.
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Replies

  • I'm sorry, that must have really sucked. Let it motivate you by all means but don't be ashamed. Nobody is perfect, things like this are crap but **** happens and you can move past this and let it inspire you towards NEVER having to feel that way ever again. You can do it.
  • obwize
    obwize Posts: 102
    I'm so sorry this happened. But one thing I do know is that feeling bad about our bodies doesn't help. It happened, now it is over. I'm sure you will look fabulous in the dress this May. Enjoy your friends wedding and get into a dress smaller than the one that burst in a year.
  • I think we've all had moments like that, and they suck! You're definitely not alone. I remember multiple humiliating incidences regarding my weight. However, I try to think about them positively and use them as motivation to improve my health and my life in general.
  • taunto
    taunto Posts: 6,420 Member
    I am very sorry this happened. This is hard stuff. I hope you use this as a motivation to kickass and get fit :)
  • mkeller234
    mkeller234 Posts: 121 Member
    Not exactly the same, but I started my weight loss when my Boss gave me a suit and I couldn't button the pants. I was really embarrassed to write him an email letting him know that. I mentioned needing to loose some weight and he was very enthusiastic. It turned out to be the spark that I needed.
  • linsey0689
    linsey0689 Posts: 753 Member
    Nake that be your moment of change. I feel for you girl, you can't change the pass but you surely can change the future :)
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    I sorry sweetie..let this be the kick you need..you'll look stunning in it!
  • LaurenLouG
    LaurenLouG Posts: 65 Member
    I definitely now how this feels. I wear a uniform to work which is tailored to my body, it had been steadily getting tighter and tighter and when I came back from a holiday is Paris I couldn't do it up anymore.

    It was the worst feeling, but it became my motivation as your situation has become yours.

    Track diligently. You can do this. That same dress is loose on me now, I'm living proof that it works.

    Stick with this and you're going to wow them at that wedding.
  • longtimeterp
    longtimeterp Posts: 614 Member
    i was asked to be a part of my step-dad's funeral and had to buy a new jacket to do it...and then i had to go to 3 stores to find on that was large enough to fit me...i still have the jacket and put it on every once in a while to remind me
  • KarenJanine
    KarenJanine Posts: 3,497 Member
    I'm sorry you felt so bad, but sometimes a wake up call like this is needed to kick start some motivation and get on track to losing weight and getting fit. Good luck in meeting your goals and being at knock out on the big day.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Use it as motivation.

    You've got this.
  • Rosplosion
    Rosplosion Posts: 739 Member
    I feel the pain in your heart. I hope that in the future you will look back on that moment in your life and think, "That was the turning point." Sometimes humilation can be what we really need to fully grasp reality.

    I see you're pretty new here. My best advice is to look at the people around in the forums. There are some VERY fit people who pretty much live here (MFP). Find the people you want to look like and see what they do. Look at what they eat, how they exercise, embrace the sarcasm and find joy in life! A good place to start is the "in place of a roadmap" thread that everyone posts. It's around so much because it works and it's realistic. It is the advice of real *kitten* people who have met their goals and continued on to exceed their expectations. MFP has a horrid search feature so I cannot find the link to that article right now but I'm sure during the time I've been looking someone else has posted it.

    Check this woman out for instance:

    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/903628-one-year-of-barbells-and-ice-cream-my-story-so-far-pics

    Please do not stop living your life because you are not your ideal weight. Go to that wedding and enjoy regardless of your size.
  • sandradev1
    sandradev1 Posts: 786 Member
    You know what? It takes something big and nasty to happen in our lives in order for us to finally say 'enough is enough', to get that strong will in us and to turn it all around. I know that you can do this and will.

    The following was posted on my newsfeed this morning by a friend and I think it's something we all need to do every day and thought it may help you:

    **********
    "I will beat her. I will train harder. I will eat cleaner. I know her weaknesses. I know her strengths. I've lost to her before - but not this time. She is going down. I have the advantage because I know her well. She is the old me.." This is my new mantra. I will not let her win - she is only as strong as I allow her to be. And, believe me, she is doing her darnedest to get me to quit. Not happenin'.
    **********

    YOU CAN DO THIS :flowerforyou:
  • moo1907
    moo1907 Posts: 24
    I had a similar experience and it sucks :( but it was a much needed kick in the butt and everytime I feel like im slippling off the wagon I remember how I felt that day. Chin up chick, MFP will have you in that dress in no time :)
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Use it as motivation.

    You've got this.
  • boroko
    boroko Posts: 358 Member
    As people have said - a horrible feeling but make it a turning point.

    My sister is chief bridesmaid at her friend's wedding which is this Saturday (it was meant to be a spring wedding but so much for that idea!!). She was similarly horrified at her dress fitting in January and decided to cut out alcohol and do the 5:2 fast diet. She stuck with it, went swimming twice a week and used MFP to record all her calories. Final fitting was on Monday and the dressmaker is now frantically taking her dress in! She feels so healthy and positive about the change and will be smiling in the photos not trying to hide behind other people.

    If your friend's wedding is in May you have still got time to make a difference to how you look and feel on the day. You might not make it into the first dress in that timescale but that doesn't mean you can't start to change yourself. Start today and change yourself not just for the wedding but for your life.

    I hope the wedding goes well and that you can feel good about yourself and enjoy your friend's special day. :flowerforyou:
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,474 Member
    its not till May, go kick some *kitten*,
  • NikinCilla
    NikinCilla Posts: 129 Member
    Dont feel bad, we have all been there before. Ive been there. My sons confirmation I had an outfit ready to wear so I didnt worry about getting me a new outfit. Come the morning of the confirmation I couldnt get into my dress OMG I had 30mins to find something to wear and it was run to Kmart and found a stretchy black skirt and top. Hadnt tryed it at the store had no time and I was soooooo uncomfortable the whole day. So embarassed.......this should motivate you to do what you can do to go back to where you were or smaller, best of luck :smile: you can do it, Im trying!!!
  • jdhoward_101
    jdhoward_101 Posts: 234 Member
    It is a horrible experience. My massive wake up call was when i was 18 and chosing a dress for prom and had to get a size16, and that only just about fit. I've lost four and a half stone since then, i'm sure you can do it hon. Use that humiliation to give you strength and determination :)
  • lilpoindexter
    lilpoindexter Posts: 1,122 Member
    Its given me a well needed wake-up call...

    Ok, quit crying, and get in the gym, or start walking, or biking or whatever, and in a year's time you will be fine.
  • Adah_m
    Adah_m Posts: 216 Member
    Hello beautiful lady!!

    First off- this happens to LOTS of people. It's so easy to gain weight! Don't berate yourself, because the fact that you gained just means you were investing in other parts of your life and weren't focused on vanity and how you look, and that's not a bad thing really.
    Now it's not a big deal, just remind yourself, "oops I let my health slip a little bit, now time to prioritize again!"
    When you're cooking a ten course meal it's easy to let one pot boil over while you pay attention to something else, right? It's ok that you gained, it happens to millions of people. What will set you apart is that losing weight only happens to a percentage of those people who gain it, because it takes guts, hard work, lots of faith, and lots of heart.
    The best and most well-rounded people I know have gained weight and lost it again, and the journey alone made them a better person.
    You are too good to let there be a delay between your decision and your actions. You are too great to allow yourself to be subjected to that kind of humiliation again! Protect your pride girl!!!! Stand up for yourself and shut up anyone who would be a negetive voice making you feel like less of a person for weighing a few pounds more than you did before.
    What is important to know, is that the person who is most likely to tear us down is ourselves. You won't hear anyone else's voice as much as you hear yours, you won't hear the truly honest opinion of anyone but yourself, and there is no one in your life with more influence over you than you!!!
    Do exactly what makes you happy, and give yourself nothing less than what you deserve, an exterior that matches the interior! Nothing is worse than reaching the bottom and thinking "this is it, this is the lowest I've ever been" than staying down there and wallowing in it! It's our natural reaction to get the hell out of that terrible place, and fast!
    You can do this!
  • OneDimSim
    OneDimSim Posts: 188 Member
    i was asked to be a part of my step-dad's funeral and had to buy a new jacket to do it...and then i had to go to 3 stores to find on that was large enough to fit me...i still have the jacket and put it on every once in a while to remind me

    i was on vacation in Belize and had to FIND a plus size bathing suit (forgot to pack mine)- now if i was thin, picking up one in Gift shop - no problem - i actually had to waste a day of my vacation finding a size sixteen suit to squeeze into......
  • Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement guys. As unpleasent as that day was, I guess it was a blessing to end end this cycle of denial I was in.
    I know what I gotta do now, I got this,

    Wish me luck!

    :)
  • Silver_Star
    Silver_Star Posts: 1,351 Member
    glad youre here:flowerforyou:
  • thebigcb
    thebigcb Posts: 2,210 Member
    I'm Maid of Honor at my best friends wedding in May. She's super organised and has had everything booked and paid for over a year in advance. This includes bridesmaids dresses. I had tried on a (UK) size 14 in the spring last year and it fitted perfectly. Now a year on we did the fittngs and I've put on so much weight, when I tried to squeeze it on, I burst all the seams and had to be helped out of it by the bride :'(. I couldn't get on the next size up and have had to buy a replacement two sizes bigger and even thats tight. Urgh, I was so humiliated, I could have, and almost did, cry. Its given me a well needed wake-up call, I just feel so ashamed.

    When is the Wedding, whats the plan?
  • boroko
    boroko Posts: 358 Member
    Thanks for all the kind words and encouragement guys. As unpleasent as that day was, I guess it was a blessing to end end this cycle of denial I was in.
    I know what I gotta do now, I got this,

    Wish me luck!

    :)

    Good Luck! You have loads of support here and plenty of living proof that it can be done. Please keep us posted of your progress.
  • HappyGrape
    HappyGrape Posts: 436 Member
    You know sometimes, we need something to give us wake up call so we can finally say - enough is enough

    Fat is temporary condition, it's not you!
  • emergencytennis
    emergencytennis Posts: 864 Member
    I know this feels bad, but it is a small moment in your life. You have had to buy a new dress. You will look beautiful in it, as all young women look beautiful. You all do, you know. Anyone over forty can see it. You are all beautiful.

    You have been embarrassed, not totally humiliated. Lance Armstrong has been humiliated.

    Enjoy the wedding, where you will look lovely.
  • You go girl!! You will be great at the wedding and years from now, the hurt will be gone at at your new weight, you will thank the bride for this changing moment. When people comment, you will know deep down the event that changed your life and hopefully your friendship with the bride will deepen because of this connection.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Oh boy, I hear you. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I hope you can use this experience to get to where you want to be. Hugs.