Embarrassed when running?

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  • Mimisam45
    Mimisam45 Posts: 132 Member
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    I used to have the same thing, when I would jog, if I would see people coming towards me on the path, I would stop and walk, and then pick back up after they passed by. I was ashamed of them seeing my 300 pound body jiggling, me puffing, my bright red face... I was just ashamed of myself.

    As my runs became easier (easy is hardly the word, but easier for sure) I felt my self confidence build and my mindset change. It was no longer about them and what they were thinking, it was about me. It was about what I wanted and what I needed for my own health. I needed that movement. I needed that exercise. I wanted it and nobody was going to take that from me.

    I started speaking more positively to myself and the rest pretty much fell into place. I got over that "what in the hell have I done to myself" pity party and started being kind and noticing the good things I was doing. I was saying things like "look at how far you can go now, last week you would have had to stop by now". I focused on myself and what I was doing. I imagined the people I was passing were IMPRESSED by my action I was taking to better myself and my life. I felt that they were on my side, cheering me on, even if it was internally.

    It takes courage to put yourself out there. It takes guts, strength and power. You have that and nobody can shout that away from you or steal it from you, unless you let them. Don't let them. It's within you to keep moving.



    Love this response. . . yes!!!
  • crystuls
    crystuls Posts: 3 Member
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    WOW. I didn't think my topic would get so many replies. This is my first topic since joining MFP, and I love this community. Every reply is so motivational, thank you guys so much. Reading all of these made me feel great. I will keep running, and not care what others think. I'm glad there is so many great people out there that understand what it's like. I thought I was the only one feeling this way, honestly. I was really put off by my last run, but you guys totally got me in the right attitude again. I am ready to go kick butt and run and not care if people are looking at me (which i've learned they're probably not..) yay! such a great group of people you are!
  • chaotisaurus
    chaotisaurus Posts: 8 Member
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    Alternatively yo could take another approach.

    Wear a banana suit for a month.

    After you're used to that embarrassment, wearing your normal clothes should seem reasonable.

    I totally did this. I watched so many of my friends spend a bunch of money on cute workout clothes "if I look good then it will be more fun to exercise!". That got them no where. I didn't have cute stuff to wear, I frequently could only work in a run between two places I needed to be. I didn't have good form and I wheezed and breathed all crazy because I was a smoker. Sometimes I ran hungover...

    To get me through it, I kind of reveled in the depravity of my crappy clothes, and unattractive workout form/body/whatever. As time went on I'd purposely wear weird stuff. One time I had to bring a motorcycle helmet across town...so I jogged in that. If I *choose* to look like a freak and run around, people's opinions really didn't matter. "Yeah. That's right, I'm wearing two pairs of old pilly stretch pants to keep the various holes in the thighs from chaffing. What?" "Yeah that's a pink bathrobe tie holding my backpack into place on my back. What?" "Yes I'm carrying rocks I found on the ground around for weights, because I'm saving my cash to buy smaller clothes when I reach my goals! BEAST MODE!" It made me feel tough. Spartan even. For some reason, adding rediculousness or shame to the situation made me feel like I could get through anything. For me, reveling in the "This sucks..." part of the beginning of any new exercise helps me push through...because at the other end of that sentence "...but I can do it."

    Also, dark sunglasses help.
  • LoosingMyLast15
    LoosingMyLast15 Posts: 1,457 Member
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    Sometimes I ran hungover...

    I've done this. I even got a PB hungover once (vomited as soon as i got home). i've even had to sit down on the side of road because i felt so awful. never run hungover. it only took 2 times for me to learn my lesson.
  • sixisCHANGEDjk
    sixisCHANGEDjk Posts: 243
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    They're the lazy ones having to ride around in a car. You keep going.
  • MandaJean83
    MandaJean83 Posts: 677 Member
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    That's okay, I think everyone has felt that way. All you have to do is counteract it and my favorite way is keeping the headphones on with my favorite music. I let myself daydream that I'm winning a race or I'm at a club dancing, and I tend to forget where I am.

    I do the SAME thing. Sometimes I even close my eyes and "sing along" by mouthing the words. It really helps me not focus on everyone else. LOL
  • losing1tdb
    losing1tdb Posts: 11 Member
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    Not sure where you live, but look for or start a small running group. I find I'm more successful & care less what other think when running with a group. I joined a couch to 5k program in mid-January & yesterday I ran 3 miles non-stop for the first time in my life (41 y/o). Best part about being in a group is the encouragment you give each other. Good luck & keep running!!
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
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    No one is looking at you. Trust me.
  • sammys1girly
    sammys1girly Posts: 1,045 Member
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    If it really bothers you, wear headphones so you can't hear them yelling and sunglasses so they can't tell if you're looking, and just keep on running. Who cares what anyone else thinks, cuz you're doing this for you!
  • imtrinat
    imtrinat Posts: 153 Member
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    I used to have the same problem. I started running in places I was more comfortable- it was on a treadmill for me- and that eventually helped me get over my fear of running outdoors. I really felt silly running when I first started. No one can convince me that people aren't staring at me. Maybe they aren't judging me, but I'm sure they can see me :) That's bad enough sometimes. It gets better. It helps to focus on your immediate goal rather than your negative self-talk.
  • bpwparents
    bpwparents Posts: 359 Member
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    In the begining, yes. I was the fat girl out there running (what I thought). Now I really don't care! I sing along with my ipod on trail running so now I'm just the crazy lady running! I'm doing this for me and if someone is that cruel to make a comment about someone exercising to better themselves, do I really care about that person's opinion anyways? JUST DO IT!!
  • literatelier
    literatelier Posts: 209 Member
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    This always makes me feel better:


    Hey, Fat Girl.

    Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.

    You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.

    You are awesome.

    If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.

    You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.

    You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.

    You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.

    I bow to you.




    Reposted from here: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html
  • oliviabog
    oliviabog Posts: 101
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    The yelling from the car thing happened to me the other day. I was put off for a split second but then almost started laughing because it was distorted and sounded like they were yelling about zebras.

    just remember you're going it for you and no one else. You gave a right to fo it so screw what anyone else thinks or says!
  • newcs
    newcs Posts: 717 Member
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    My solution is to run early or run in less populated areas. I haven't had that issue in the recent months since I've been at the gym and everyone does their own thing but I'm planning on getting back into running outdoors and my favorite place to run is the town cemetery in the morning. It's peaceful and usually there are no people/cars first thing in the AM. Obviously if you're running at an off time or in a less populated place, be safe and aware of your surroundings.
  • alerica1
    alerica1 Posts: 310 Member
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    Do you listen to music when running? I find it helps me zone out other people.
    ^^this
  • carriann2012
    carriann2012 Posts: 180 Member
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    Who gives a crap what other people think or say!! Just put on your headphones and run!!! :drinker:
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
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    It's like going to the gym for the first few times. Everyone always thinks that everyone is starring and thinking things. They really aren't. (Granted you're not one of those person grunting non stop) In reality, take a second and look around, everyone is off in their own little world. People get all worried because they're lifting light weights. Actually the only people being starred at are the ones grabbing too much weight because everyone knows they'll get pinned under it. (More a guy thing) So in your case, as long as your not stumbling around like a drunk, just get out and run because the only ones that care is you.

    last sentence is the sweetest thing I ever read! Cheers and follow this!
  • ctpeace
    ctpeace Posts: 327 Member
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    I felt that way a bit when I started running again (especially with all the other runners going way faster than me at the park!), but then I figured out that road runners are basically nice people who want to support you, I've even had people high five me on runs, tell me to keep it up etc. I recommend you sign up for a race, you will get massive encouragement from other runners and spectators, and with all the other people out doing the exact same thing, you can bet that you really will blend in to the crowd of healthy, fitness-minded, hard-core, awesome people. Keep it up, it's worth it!
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
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    Not gonna repeat what everyone already said here...some good stuff....but you have a middle finger for a reason and if people are yelling crap at you, I urge you to use the universal symbol to tell them how you really feel....and keep on running!

    That's what I do, well I guess I do it the opposite way. I yell insults and flip off really big 4 wheel drive trucks since they're usually driven by big dudes. I then run like hell. Getting my *kitten* kicked or shot at is a really motivation for running sprints!
  • EAPTX
    EAPTX Posts: 42 Member
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    Not sure where you live, but look for or start a small running group. I find I'm more successful & care less what other think when running with a group. I joined a couch to 5k program in mid-January & yesterday I ran 3 miles non-stop for the first time in my life (41 y/o). Best part about being in a group is the encouragment you give each other. Good luck & keep running!!

    This is great advice. You get sucked into hanging out with runners, you'll never want to stop! We've been part of three different running clubs in different cities, and you'd think it was all the same people. Very supportive groups.

    I will say that I know how you feel. When I was a teenager, I was out for a walk and some boys yelled some obscene comments out the car window at me and sped off. Not only was I embarrassed and more self conscious that I was just getting out there, but now I was also scared because I was all alone on a stretch of two-lane road. I'm sure they just laughed and never thought of it again, but it really messed me up for years. I was top heavy - I started slouching when I walked. I started wearing baggy clothes and crossing my arms a lot. That's when I started gaining a lot of weight. It wasn't until I had teenagers of my own that I realized that incident had held me hostage. Teenage boys holding me hostage! Imagine. I wish I had talked about it like you are and been able to put it behind me where it belonged. Most people don't realize the harm they can cause others by off-handed remarks and actions; it is totally unrealistic to expect (most) young males to be any better!

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