Embarrassed when running?
Replies
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I used to have the same thing, when I would jog, if I would see people coming towards me on the path, I would stop and walk, and then pick back up after they passed by. I was ashamed of them seeing my 300 pound body jiggling, me puffing, my bright red face... I was just ashamed of myself.
As my runs became easier (easy is hardly the word, but easier for sure) I felt my self confidence build and my mindset change. It was no longer about them and what they were thinking, it was about me. It was about what I wanted and what I needed for my own health. I needed that movement. I needed that exercise. I wanted it and nobody was going to take that from me.
I started speaking more positively to myself and the rest pretty much fell into place. I got over that "what in the hell have I done to myself" pity party and started being kind and noticing the good things I was doing. I was saying things like "look at how far you can go now, last week you would have had to stop by now". I focused on myself and what I was doing. I imagined the people I was passing were IMPRESSED by my action I was taking to better myself and my life. I felt that they were on my side, cheering me on, even if it was internally.
It takes courage to put yourself out there. It takes guts, strength and power. You have that and nobody can shout that away from you or steal it from you, unless you let them. Don't let them. It's within you to keep moving.
Love this response. . . yes!!!0 -
WOW. I didn't think my topic would get so many replies. This is my first topic since joining MFP, and I love this community. Every reply is so motivational, thank you guys so much. Reading all of these made me feel great. I will keep running, and not care what others think. I'm glad there is so many great people out there that understand what it's like. I thought I was the only one feeling this way, honestly. I was really put off by my last run, but you guys totally got me in the right attitude again. I am ready to go kick butt and run and not care if people are looking at me (which i've learned they're probably not..) yay! such a great group of people you are!0
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Alternatively yo could take another approach.
Wear a banana suit for a month.
After you're used to that embarrassment, wearing your normal clothes should seem reasonable.
I totally did this. I watched so many of my friends spend a bunch of money on cute workout clothes "if I look good then it will be more fun to exercise!". That got them no where. I didn't have cute stuff to wear, I frequently could only work in a run between two places I needed to be. I didn't have good form and I wheezed and breathed all crazy because I was a smoker. Sometimes I ran hungover...
To get me through it, I kind of reveled in the depravity of my crappy clothes, and unattractive workout form/body/whatever. As time went on I'd purposely wear weird stuff. One time I had to bring a motorcycle helmet across town...so I jogged in that. If I *choose* to look like a freak and run around, people's opinions really didn't matter. "Yeah. That's right, I'm wearing two pairs of old pilly stretch pants to keep the various holes in the thighs from chaffing. What?" "Yeah that's a pink bathrobe tie holding my backpack into place on my back. What?" "Yes I'm carrying rocks I found on the ground around for weights, because I'm saving my cash to buy smaller clothes when I reach my goals! BEAST MODE!" It made me feel tough. Spartan even. For some reason, adding rediculousness or shame to the situation made me feel like I could get through anything. For me, reveling in the "This sucks..." part of the beginning of any new exercise helps me push through...because at the other end of that sentence "...but I can do it."
Also, dark sunglasses help.0 -
Sometimes I ran hungover...
I've done this. I even got a PB hungover once (vomited as soon as i got home). i've even had to sit down on the side of road because i felt so awful. never run hungover. it only took 2 times for me to learn my lesson.0 -
They're the lazy ones having to ride around in a car. You keep going.0
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That's okay, I think everyone has felt that way. All you have to do is counteract it and my favorite way is keeping the headphones on with my favorite music. I let myself daydream that I'm winning a race or I'm at a club dancing, and I tend to forget where I am.
I do the SAME thing. Sometimes I even close my eyes and "sing along" by mouthing the words. It really helps me not focus on everyone else. LOL0 -
Not sure where you live, but look for or start a small running group. I find I'm more successful & care less what other think when running with a group. I joined a couch to 5k program in mid-January & yesterday I ran 3 miles non-stop for the first time in my life (41 y/o). Best part about being in a group is the encouragment you give each other. Good luck & keep running!!0
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No one is looking at you. Trust me.0
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If it really bothers you, wear headphones so you can't hear them yelling and sunglasses so they can't tell if you're looking, and just keep on running. Who cares what anyone else thinks, cuz you're doing this for you!0
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I used to have the same problem. I started running in places I was more comfortable- it was on a treadmill for me- and that eventually helped me get over my fear of running outdoors. I really felt silly running when I first started. No one can convince me that people aren't staring at me. Maybe they aren't judging me, but I'm sure they can see me That's bad enough sometimes. It gets better. It helps to focus on your immediate goal rather than your negative self-talk.0
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In the begining, yes. I was the fat girl out there running (what I thought). Now I really don't care! I sing along with my ipod on trail running so now I'm just the crazy lady running! I'm doing this for me and if someone is that cruel to make a comment about someone exercising to better themselves, do I really care about that person's opinion anyways? JUST DO IT!!0
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This always makes me feel better:
Hey, Fat Girl.
Yes, you. The one feigning to not see me when we cross paths on the running track. The one not even wearing sports gear, breathing heavy. You’re slow, you breathe hard and your efforts at moving forward make you cringe.
You cling shyly to the furthest corridor, sometimes making larger loops on the gravel ring by the track just so you’re not on it. You sweat so much that your hair is all wet. You rarely stay for more than 20 minutes at a time, and you look exhausted when you leave to go back home. You never talk to anyone. I’ve got something I’d like to say to you.
You are awesome.
If you’d look me in the eye only for an instant, you would notice the reverence and respect I have for you. The adventure you have started is tremendous; it leads to a better health, to renewed confidence and to a brand new kind of freedom. The gifts you will receive from running will far exceed the gigantic effort it takes you to show up here, to face your fears and to bravely set yourself in motion, in front of others.
You have already begun your transformation. You no longer accept this physical state of numbness and passivity. You have taken a difficult decision, but one that holds so much promise. Every hard breath you take is actually a tad easier than the one before, and every step is ever so slightly lighter. Each push forward leaves the former person you were in your wake, creating room for an improved version, one that is stronger, healthier and forward-looking, one who knows that anything is possible.
You’re a hero to me. And, if you’d take off the blaring headphones and put your head up for more than a second or two, you would notice that the other runners you cross, the ones that probably make you feel so inadequate, stare in awe at your determination. They, of all people, know best where you are coming from. They heard the resolutions of so many others, who vowed to pick up running and improve their health, “starting next week”. Yet, it is YOU who runs alongside, who digs from deep inside to find the strength to come here, and to come back again.
You are a runner, and no one can take that away from you. You are relentlessly moving forward. You are stronger than even you think, and you are about to be amazed by what you can do. One day, very soon, maybe tomorrow, you’ll step outside and marvel at your capabilities. You will not believe your own body, you will realize that you can do this. And a new horizon will open up for you. You are a true inspiration.
I bow to you.
Reposted from here: http://flintland.blogspot.com/2012/05/hey-fat-girl.html0 -
The yelling from the car thing happened to me the other day. I was put off for a split second but then almost started laughing because it was distorted and sounded like they were yelling about zebras.
just remember you're going it for you and no one else. You gave a right to fo it so screw what anyone else thinks or says!0 -
My solution is to run early or run in less populated areas. I haven't had that issue in the recent months since I've been at the gym and everyone does their own thing but I'm planning on getting back into running outdoors and my favorite place to run is the town cemetery in the morning. It's peaceful and usually there are no people/cars first thing in the AM. Obviously if you're running at an off time or in a less populated place, be safe and aware of your surroundings.0
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Do you listen to music when running? I find it helps me zone out other people.0
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Who gives a crap what other people think or say!! Just put on your headphones and run!!! :drinker:0
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It's like going to the gym for the first few times. Everyone always thinks that everyone is starring and thinking things. They really aren't. (Granted you're not one of those person grunting non stop) In reality, take a second and look around, everyone is off in their own little world. People get all worried because they're lifting light weights. Actually the only people being starred at are the ones grabbing too much weight because everyone knows they'll get pinned under it. (More a guy thing) So in your case, as long as your not stumbling around like a drunk, just get out and run because the only ones that care is you.
last sentence is the sweetest thing I ever read! Cheers and follow this!0 -
I felt that way a bit when I started running again (especially with all the other runners going way faster than me at the park!), but then I figured out that road runners are basically nice people who want to support you, I've even had people high five me on runs, tell me to keep it up etc. I recommend you sign up for a race, you will get massive encouragement from other runners and spectators, and with all the other people out doing the exact same thing, you can bet that you really will blend in to the crowd of healthy, fitness-minded, hard-core, awesome people. Keep it up, it's worth it!0
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Not gonna repeat what everyone already said here...some good stuff....but you have a middle finger for a reason and if people are yelling crap at you, I urge you to use the universal symbol to tell them how you really feel....and keep on running!
That's what I do, well I guess I do it the opposite way. I yell insults and flip off really big 4 wheel drive trucks since they're usually driven by big dudes. I then run like hell. Getting my *kitten* kicked or shot at is a really motivation for running sprints!0 -
Not sure where you live, but look for or start a small running group. I find I'm more successful & care less what other think when running with a group. I joined a couch to 5k program in mid-January & yesterday I ran 3 miles non-stop for the first time in my life (41 y/o). Best part about being in a group is the encouragment you give each other. Good luck & keep running!!
This is great advice. You get sucked into hanging out with runners, you'll never want to stop! We've been part of three different running clubs in different cities, and you'd think it was all the same people. Very supportive groups.
I will say that I know how you feel. When I was a teenager, I was out for a walk and some boys yelled some obscene comments out the car window at me and sped off. Not only was I embarrassed and more self conscious that I was just getting out there, but now I was also scared because I was all alone on a stretch of two-lane road. I'm sure they just laughed and never thought of it again, but it really messed me up for years. I was top heavy - I started slouching when I walked. I started wearing baggy clothes and crossing my arms a lot. That's when I started gaining a lot of weight. It wasn't until I had teenagers of my own that I realized that incident had held me hostage. Teenage boys holding me hostage! Imagine. I wish I had talked about it like you are and been able to put it behind me where it belonged. Most people don't realize the harm they can cause others by off-handed remarks and actions; it is totally unrealistic to expect (most) young males to be any better!0 -
I run on a walking/bike path that doesn't parallel a road so everyone that sees me is exercising too.
Also, I admire anybody that I see running. The heavier and out of shape they are, the more I admire them.0 -
I've been running since 2003, have logged thousands of miles, and had strange things said and done (was followed and nearly run over- but who's counting?) to me, tool! Lol! That just goes with the territory I guess. That's just the world we live in. My advice? Ignore them. Carry mace. If you run on a sidewalk or track and not the road, listen to an Ipod. Think about all the positive things you're doing to help your body as you're running, and not let your mind wander to what others think about you. After all, what does it really matter? Most are probably wishing they could run like you are! Keep up the good work! Maybe look for a running partner if you continue to feel insecure. My best advice for running and living with "people" is to focus on what God thinks of you and who He created you to be. You have dignity, value and worth to Him! What He thinks of you is far more important than what others think. If you have a Bible, read through the gospels- Matthew and John for sure. You'll get a good idea on just how important to Him you really are! Happy running!!!! Keep going!0
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JUST KEEP GOING...I started out, baggy clothes 80+ lbs heavier and slow moving, ran at night, schlepping around my block, now I see my self a year later as an example, I now see new people and I smile and wave to them for support that they are one of the crowd, not an outsider.. they are a runner like me. I went and have started replacing my ratty gear with outlet stuff (Under armor, Champion, etc) and I feel much better and look lighter than when I started..
And when I feel like quiting or not running, I think, today might be the day that someone is thinking about starting and they might see me and think " I remember when he was huge, and hell if he can do it,so can I" and if I don't run today then that may not happen and they may not start.
it's a pay it forward, you work your butt off and do what you need to for yourself and someone that maybe on the fence about it will see you and think, damn, she's trying to hard, what's my excuse. be that example for yourself and others.
and ignore the idiots.. some aren't happy unless they're bringing down others.0 -
Not gonna repeat what everyone already said here...some good stuff....but you have a middle finger for a reason and if people are yelling crap at you, I urge you to use the universal symbol to tell them how you really feel....and keep on running!
That's what I do, well I guess I do it the opposite way. I yell insults and flip off really big 4 wheel drive trucks since they're usually driven by big dudes. I then run like hell. Getting my *kitten* kicked or shot at is a really motivation for running sprints!
Oh yeah, I told a guy to curl up and die once! Road Rage is totally a running thing, just own it!0 -
I feel the same exact way. I have started running early in the mornings or at night around 8 or so when I feel like there aren't as many people; It kind of puts my mind to rest. Keep up the running and great work!!0
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My embarrassment is different. In my head, I am running as fast as I can but in reality, It is more like a fast power walk or something. After being 380 pounds only a couple of years ago, I am now over 200 pounds lighter but running is not something I have ever done. I must look like a real idiot.0
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Yes! And it never fails at the gym even when there are 5 open machines someone has to go right next to me, and then they run like crazy and I am just like omg over achiever. Its embarrassing when your stuff all jiggles0
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It's like going to the gym for the first few times. Everyone always thinks that everyone is starring and thinking things. They really aren't. (Granted you're not one of those person grunting non stop) In reality, take a second and look around, everyone is off in their own little world. People get all worried because they're lifting light weights. Actually the only people being starred at are the ones grabbing too much weight because everyone knows they'll get pinned under it. (More a guy thing) So in your case, as long as your not stumbling around like a drunk, just get out and run because the only ones that care is you.
This is true. It's referred to as the "personal fable": the idea that when we enter a room, everyone stops and takes notice, and cares about what we look like or what we're doing. The reality is, most people you see in public couldn't care less about you. They are living their own lives. If you notice occasional stares, it doesn't mean a whole lot.
Also, while there is a large amount of prejudice against severely obese people, there are some common reactions to seeing an overweight person do something positive about their weight. When people see an overweight person buying healthy produce or exercising in public, their reaction (if they have one) is usually one of approval. Healthy people don't judge obese people who are showing some initiative to get healthy. What they can be judgmental about is if you're at the grocery store and buying a cart full of Twinkies or junk foods, or if you're pulling up to a McDonald's and order a fattening value meal. If people have any reaction to seeing you running, they're probably on the side of mild approval. But really, they probably don't even care. . .0 -
When people look at me in a negative way or scream out of their cars... I just laugh because I'm improving myself while they're wasting their time not doing much for themselves or me.0
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It's like going to the gym for the first few times. Everyone always thinks that everyone is starring and thinking things. They really aren't. (Granted you're not one of those person grunting non stop) In reality, take a second and look around, everyone is off in their own little world. People get all worried because they're lifting light weights. Actually the only people being starred at are the ones grabbing too much weight because everyone knows they'll get pinned under it. (More a guy thing) So in your case, as long as your not stumbling around like a drunk, just get out and run because the only ones that care is you.
This is true. It's referred to as the "personal fable": the idea that when we enter a room, everyone stops and takes notice, and cares about what we look like or what we're doing. The reality is, most people you see in public couldn't care less about you. They are living their own lives. If you notice occasional stares, it doesn't mean a whole lot.
Also, while there is a large amount of prejudice against severely obese people, there are some common reactions to seeing an overweight person do something positive about their weight. When people see an overweight person buying healthy produce or exercising in public, their reaction (if they have one) is usually one of approval. Healthy people don't judge obese people who are showing some initiative to get healthy. What they can be judgmental about is if you're at the grocery store and buying a cart full of Twinkies or junk foods, or if you're pulling up to a McDonald's and order a fattening value meal. If people have any reaction to seeing you running, they're probably on the side of mild approval. But really, they probably don't even care. . .0
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