Losing weight to get back at an ex.

13

Replies

  • wikitbikit
    wikitbikit Posts: 518 Member
    Better to lose weight to get back at an ex, than to do it to get an ex back.
    So true!

    My ex never had an issue with my weight, but I did, and it (among other things) made me not want to be intimate, and he had a serious issue with THAT. As I lose weight and improve my health, yeah, I'll be honest, I sort of hope it makes him wonder 'what if?' ... But in the end it's moot, because he was unable or unwilling to help me get here.

    Now I just want to get pretty buff so that when the zombie apocalypse comes I can take care of my daughter and me, and he and his current woman can get their brains eaten. Boom.
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    I won't have a taste of this sweet revenge because when I broke up with my ex I was as thin as I am now. At least I didn't endure the humiliation of him seeing me chubby.
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    My current husband has demanded I get back down to a size 0 or he's moving out. I don't even know if that's physically possible for me anymore. My original plan was to get as close as I can, and then kick him out for being so shallow. So, I guess, I wouldn't be getting back at an ex so much as getting back at a future ex? I don't know though, it's never that clear cut when it's time to make a decision like that.
  • Momf3boys
    Momf3boys Posts: 1,637 Member
    My current husband has demanded I get back down to a size 0 or he's moving out. I don't even know if that's physically possible for me anymore. My original plan was to get as close as I can, and then kick him out for being so shallow. So, I guess, I wouldn't be getting back at an ex so much as getting back at a future ex? I don't know though, it's never that clear cut when it's time to make a decision like that.

    Sorry...he would be GONE!

    My story...I count my ex's weight as part of my weight loss...lol...when we got married I was a big girl (size 22 wedding dress)...after having two kids I was completely miserable and decided enough was enough...I kicked *kitten* and lost 130 pounds...little did I know that while I was losing weight my ex was having an affair with his co-worker. Looking back, I'm glad that it happened the way that it did because if I were still almost 300 pounds while finding out about his affair I would probably have spiraled out of control and gained more weight...instead I was in a size 8 and in the best shape of my life...his loss :)
  • amandagyeoman
    amandagyeoman Posts: 88 Member
    I'm not going to lie, there's a little "I'll show you (all)" behind my desire to lose weight. That pertains to those who actually DID treat me badly because of my weight -- those who bullied me, made fun of me, disregarded me, wouldn't date me...and maybe an ex or two. It makes sense that it would be at least a small driving force.

    I agree. I think the main issue would be proving to someone who didn't appreciate you for who you are, that you don't need someone else. You have to appreciate yourself. Losing weight, gaining confidence will make you more appealing to everyone!
  • Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door
    Sweet_Gurl_Next_Door Posts: 735 Member
    I don't lose weight for anyone accept for myself.
  • LindsayLL30
    LindsayLL30 Posts: 154 Member
    When my ex wife dumped me she told me "you are too fat to have sex with" (mind you, I was 5'11" and 200lbs at the time). I was already in the midst of losing weight (down 10 at that point), so I just continued to lose the weight for myself. I'm lucky I haven't had to see her or deal with her in 3 years, but as a whole, I could care less what she thinks and now I'm trying to lose weight (I gained 40 or so in about a year) I have now for myself and nobody else. I miss the energy I used to have and I want that back.

    That is one of the most shallow things I have ever heard...Im sure you are far better off with out her! :drinker:
  • LindsayLL30
    LindsayLL30 Posts: 154 Member
    My current husband has demanded I get back down to a size 0 or he's moving out. I don't even know if that's physically possible for me anymore. My original plan was to get as close as I can, and then kick him out for being so shallow. So, I guess, I wouldn't be getting back at an ex so much as getting back at a future ex? I don't know though, it's never that clear cut when it's time to make a decision like that.

    That is insanity! I wouldnt let him stick around to see ANY SIZE let alone a "0"...hes the zero for sure!
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
    I don't lose weight for anyone accept for myself.

    TRUE STORY!

    Though I got to admit. I have run into a few guys I wanted to date in the past who didn't give me the time of day when I was heavier. Sure was Nice to see their jaws hit the floor when The New & Improved me walked by.
  • avababy05
    avababy05 Posts: 930 Member
    Better to lose weight to get back at an ex, than to do it to get an ex back.

    Perfect.My thoughts exactly.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    my ex and I decided to get healthy together.

    he lost 170 pounds by basically starving himself and not learning anything about nutrition or how his body works. I lost nothing following a doctor prescribed plan to the letter. We tweaked some things, ran some tests, finally settled on a gastric sleeve.

    Now I'm 146 pounds down and fully immersed in a healthy for the rest of my life lifestyle. I run, I dance, I lift heavy things, I eat well and I ENJOY myself and my life.

    half way through this process, my ex and I imploded and as he walked out the door he said "You know if you hadn't lost the weight we would still be together." As I picked my jaw up from off the floor, I thought to myself "F you man....i'm better than this"

    I'm not doing it to get back at him. He doesn't even matter anymore, however I do know that he's put on all the weight again because he didn't lose it well in the first place (aka didn't learn anything, didn't really change his eating patterns or habits etc)

    So I have the comfort of knowing that *I* made the right changes for me, to last me the rest of my life. I have the comfort of knowing that I am in a good place.

    and I feel sad for him. He's never going to learn, and he's never going to change and with his personality the way it is...

    it will always be everyone elses fault for his misery.
  • Blueyedtine
    Blueyedtine Posts: 52 Member
    Never was dumped due to my weight.

    Been dumped many times cause I was batchit crazy, conceited and self centered. Other wise known as my 20s.

    Literally laughed out loud. I applaud the honesty.

    ME TOO! We all been crazy 20 year olds:laugh:

    How True!! LOL...
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    Not a true ex - but one of my many motivations is to look good when I see a particular ex group of friends. A few years after I got "dumped" I am so glad I'm not dealing with them anymore but I can't help but feel good when I'm looking sexy and they aren't :)
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    Don't ever lose weight because of an ex- lose weight because of a potential. Why not start a new relationship in the best mood, the best body, and with the best start. The ex already sucks, why make them feel like poo too? YOU deserve better, always about the future. always.

    Exactly. I'm not doing this to get back at an ex (as I have none), but just to be in good shape when I find the right person. Also, the person who talked about returning to the high school reunion on a motorcycle and the whole awesome accompanying scenario... that. ;-)
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
    Everything I have done for myself physically is for myself. To live longer and for ME to LOVE how I look.
    I could really give a flying flip what my ex or anybody else thinks.
  • thoshowski
    thoshowski Posts: 135 Member
    I did lose a lot of weight after my ex and I broke up. It wasn't to get back at him, it was to show him that he didn't lead me to food and crying a misery. It was to show me and him, that I am just fine with out him, in fact I was even better than I was with him.
  • AliciaStinger
    AliciaStinger Posts: 402 Member
    Not a true ex - but one of my many motivations is to look good when I see a particular ex group of friends. A few years after I got "dumped" I am so glad I'm not dealing with them anymore but I can't help but feel good when I'm looking sexy and they aren't :)

    This also. I gained a lot of weight from spending time with a friend who I ended up cutting ties with because she was treating me like crap and practically getting off on it. A year later, she and I ran into each other, and I had dropped 30 pounds, and she had gained like 11 (and she was already heavy and trying to lose), so...as bad as it sounds, it was pretty sweet. Of course, I gained 20 back, so I have to lose it all again, but at least I know it's possible. I had kept it off for two years, too. Still, I know I can do it, and I have all kinds of healthy motivation and revenge-based motives! :devil:
  • jacalennejax
    jacalennejax Posts: 97 Member
    If I saw you with sexy lace and heels on, I would pass out from over excitment.


    LOL
  • bostongrl13
    bostongrl13 Posts: 58 Member
    I guess if it gets your motivated to start your journey that's fine, but it's only going to keep you motivated for so long...after a while you have to allow yourself to not care what they think and worry about losing weight for yourself.

    In college I had a boyfriend who I dated and adored even though he was a little overweight. I thought he was attractive but I broke it off because he was controlling and was rude to my parents.

    He asked me to meet him for coffee about year later so he could get some "closure" and I agreed. I now know the reason he asked to see me was because he lost about 30 pounds and wanted me to "COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK" (Yes I had to add an Anchorman quote).

    I was super supportive and was truly happy for him until he started acting like a jerk. During the conversation he started getting really arrogant and eventually said, "Ya, well I guess I could probably hook up with any girl I wanted to now." I laughed and said, "Well, any girl except me."

    Revenge weight loss usually doesn't make an ex miss you...I didn't miss mine after he got fit and I would probably only have missed him if he had a lobotomy that completely altered his personality...
  • lfergurson1
    lfergurson1 Posts: 137 Member
    RIght and who would want a person like that anyway... gotta change your life for you! At the end of this journey it may be a little funny to see my ex with my new husband as hot as all get out but so NEVER the reason I would lose not even ONE lousy pound.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I'm not going to lie, there's a little "I'll show you (all)" behind my desire to lose weight. That pertains to those who actually DID treat me badly because of my weight -- those who bullied me, made fun of me, disregarded me, wouldn't date me...and maybe an ex or two. It makes sense that it would be at least a small driving force.

    I hop your are getting back at them now becuase you are stunnung.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I guess if it gets your motivated to start your journey that's fine, but it's only going to keep you motivated for so long...after a while you have to allow yourself to not care what they think and worry about losing weight for yourself.

    In college I had a boyfriend who I dated and adored even though he was a little overweight. I thought he was attractive but I broke it off because he was controlling and was rude to my parents.

    He asked me to meet him for coffee about year later so he could get some "closure" and I agreed. I now know the reason he asked to see me was because he lost about 30 pounds and wanted me to "COME SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK" (Yes I had to add an Anchorman quote).

    I was super supportive and was truly happy for him until he started acting like a jerk. During the conversation he started getting really arrogant and eventually said, "Ya, well I guess I could probably hook up with any girl I wanted to now." I laughed and said, "Well, any girl except me."

    Revenge weight loss usually doesn't make an ex miss you...I didn't miss mine after he got fit and I would probably only have missed him if he had a lobotomy that completely altered his personality...

    LMAO I bet he misses you.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    RIght and who would want a person like that anyway... gotta change your life for you! At the end of this journey it may be a little funny to see my ex with my new husband as hot as all get out but so NEVER the reason I would lose not even ONE lousy pound.

    I HATE this saying but....you go girl.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    If I saw you with sexy lace and heels on, I would pass out from over excitment.


    LOL

    You too.
  • richardheath
    richardheath Posts: 1,276 Member
    I admit there's a part of me that wants to toss a little revenge in my weight loss as well.

    My ex is 6 feet under so "getting back" is not the reason but the memory of standing in sexy lace and heels infront of him and being told his upcoming raid on WoW was more important left a destinctive mark.

    I guess you can say that I found my inner "Frankly my Dear I don't give a D@mn" voice and I use it to take charge of own life.

    However, I would love to get to my healthy weight and go to a high school reunion on a motorcycle and make the HS jocks wet themselves at the sight of the shy fat girl they bullied those years ago :)

    Yes, that revenge would be sweet.

    I'm sure were able to use a "justifiable homicide" to get out of jail time for that one ;-)
  • richardheath
    richardheath Posts: 1,276 Member
    I started losing weight after my divorce, but I wouldn't say it was for revenge - it was because I needed to for health reasons, and because I wanted to look my best when I started dating again! My ex had a lap band installed after the divorce too. I wish her well with it, but I'm not going to take her back if she gets skinny. But then, I don't think she did it for me!
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    I started losing weight after my divorce, but I wouldn't say it was for revenge - it was because I needed to for health reasons, and because I wanted to look my best when I started dating again! My ex had a lap band installed after the divorce too. I wish her well with it, but I'm not going to take her back if she gets skinny. But then, I don't think she did it for me!

    Well said sir. Stay classy
  • SAPerkins01
    SAPerkins01 Posts: 9
    That is a good topic to discuss. I think that my ex (if you can even call him that) was a motivating factor for my weight loss journey. But as I think about it, both factors are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Let me set the scene. I am 40 he is 29. No...I am not a cougar per se...at least that was not my intention. When we met, I didn't know he was so young and he didn't know I was so...ummm...much more experienced in living than he was. When we found out, I thought it would be fun to hang out. Then it turned and we were actually in a relationship. So the factors that influenced me to lose weight are, he had recently accepted that he liked thick women and I am certainly thick. So, losing weight would eliminate his attraction for me. The other factor is that since he is...ummm a fetus compared to me (no I am not bitter) and the women who are attracted to him are fetuses as well, they tend to be fit. I just missed it...feeling fit. Having a healthy weight. So I decided to start working on my weight. This was before we stopped seeing one another. Now I am 20 pounds down and I have 20 more to go. He is a non issue at this point but whenever I don't want to work out or eat something I have no business eating, I use the motivation of that failed relationship along with other motivations I have in my motivation bank and I make myself do it.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
    That is a good topic to discuss. I think that my ex (if you can even call him that) was a motivating factor for my weight loss journey. But as I think about it, both factors are on opposite ends of the spectrum. Let me set the scene. I am 40 he is 29. No...I am not a cougar per se...at least that was not my intention. When we met, I didn't know he was so young and he didn't know I was so...ummm...much more experienced in living than he was. When we found out, I thought it would be fun to hang out. Then it turned and we were actually in a relationship. So the factors that influenced me to lose weight are, he had recently accepted that he liked thick women and I am certainly thick. So, losing weight would eliminate his attraction for me. The other factor is that since he is...ummm a fetus compared to me (no I am not bitter) and the women who are attracted to him are fetuses as well, they tend to be fit. I just missed it...feeling fit. Having a healthy weight. So I decided to start working on my weight. This was before we stopped seeing one another. Now I am 20 pounds down and I have 20 more to go. He is a non issue at this point but whenever I don't want to work out or eat something I have no business eating, I use the motivation of that failed relationship along with other motivations I have in my motivation bank and I make myself do it.

    Thank you for your input. 40 is the new 30 beautiful
  • SAPerkins01
    SAPerkins01 Posts: 9
    Thank you for your input. 40 is the new 30 beautiful
    [/quote]

    Thank you for the compliment...or at least that is how I will take it. :smile:

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