My first negative reaction.

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2

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  • AprilNew1
    AprilNew1 Posts: 10 Member
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    Let it roll off of your back! I agree with everyone else, jealousy makes you say and do some really hurtful things! Keep up the great work and awesome self control!
  • splitdog79
    splitdog79 Posts: 106 Member
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    Thanks for helping me stay on point with the positivity, everyone. I guess I just wasn't expecting something like that at that moment.
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
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    Often, divorced women surprised by what they see as their ex-husband's new-found self-possession, will remark bitterly,"Well, why couldn't he have done that while we were married?" I doubt that is the totality of what is going on there, but it may be coloring what she said. She has probably given up on herself and secretly admires what you have done. If MFP has been a significant part of your progress, you might try gently informing her of that and encouraging her to join. It is a great resource for those who are trying to change. For the sake of your children, she does need to change, but she must come to that realization herself. Keep up the good work and know that there are others who think you are doing GREAT!
  • annepage
    annepage Posts: 585 Member
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    pretty simple - she's jealous of your success and your self control that sh'es personally lacking.

    any time someone gets angry for "no reason" it's generally because they're projecting their own inadequacies and taking it out on someone other than themselves.

    Absolutely agree.
  • Melanya7
    Melanya7 Posts: 24
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    Yup. ^ What they said. She feels guilty for wanting t o pig out at the buffet and is totally jealous. On my wedding day a friend who has jealousy issues said, " nice earrings" no congrats, no good luck, no compliments etc. after drooping 51 pounds of baby weight, I saw her this past weekend. Many people said how good I looked. She saw me and said, "nice earrings!" Really? That's what you noticed?

    I have a feeling what your eating or not eating isn't what is really eating her. Like my friend, she probably has difficulty supporting someone who is who is achieving a goal that she herself is not reaching. Keep strong, you're doing an awesome job!
  • groversa
    groversa Posts: 450 Member
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    She is jealous of your success and is trying to tear you down and make you feel bad about it. That simple.


    ^^ Don't let it bring you down, as long as you are targeting to be healthy and fit then you are totally in the right! Great job with your success so far!!
  • jonswife0206
    jonswife0206 Posts: 125 Member
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    I just have to say first that you look amazing and are an inspiration ! I agree with many of the posters, it sounds like a frustrated and jelous comment. Maybe she thought you were being difficult (you weren't !!) because you wouldn't eat with everyone and just said something to hurt your feelings. Unfortunately, she knows you well enough to hit the right spot when needed. However, you were very strong to not give in and make the right decision on dinner. Don't let the comment get to you. You are an awesome, healthy role model for your children and on the path to success !! Rock on !!
  • tageekly
    tageekly Posts: 3,755 Member
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    Absolutely jealousy - and do not let her jealousy tear you down.

    You've had amazing progress and improved your health and lifespan immensely. Be proud of that and never let anyone else's issues get in the way of your accomplishment.
  • nancycaregiver
    nancycaregiver Posts: 812 Member
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    This rant had nothing to do with you and your weightloss. She was ready to lash out at you and this was the best she could come up with. I would take this as a compliment!! I mean, she couldn't come up with anything better than that?! She could not attack your character, your treatment of her or the children? You must be truly awesome! And she really had to stretch to find something to flip out about!
  • Tenzuya
    Tenzuya Posts: 64
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    Im sure she would be feeling ridiculous about it, just laugh that one off.
  • Lizzy9
    Lizzy9 Posts: 67 Member
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    I have to agree completely with the below statement AND many years in the legal field working with Father's Rights Law, I see this as total projection behavior. Let's hope the negative is not projected onto the kids. Stay true to yourself, never talk down about yourself or your ex to anyone or your children and you will take part in portraying an awesome example of a Father to your children not only in the present, but in THEIR future marriages.
    pretty simple - she's jealous of your success and your self control that sh'es personally lacking.

    any time someone gets angry for "no reason" it's generally because they're projecting their own inadequacies and taking it out on someone other than themselves.
  • FitnSassy
    FitnSassy Posts: 263 Member
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    It sounds to me that she's a bit selfish. She wanted you to do what SHE wanted you to do, regardless of how you felt about it. She didn't care! I would be willing to bet it wasn't the first time. As I always say, "Ex to the next!" Congratulations on staying strong!
  • CoraGregoryCPA
    CoraGregoryCPA Posts: 1,097 Member
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    You're doing awesome! Stick to it. You could choose hundreds of other restaurants besides wasted calories on a buffet if you choose.
  • rosiereally2
    rosiereally2 Posts: 539 Member
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    Reclaim your power, doll. Don't allow her to hurt you ever again.
  • MyProgressISYour1Proof
    MyProgressISYour1Proof Posts: 376 Member
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    My family hasn't been supportive either and today, my gmaw made me feel worse....sometimes I'm so confused on what to do..
  • Synapze
    Synapze Posts: 499
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    Personally, I think she's disappointed with herself and taking it out on you.

    Jealousy and Selfishness.

    If it was me, id be looking at it like a compliment and be pretty darn happy with myself.
  • sPaRkLiNgLYFE
    sPaRkLiNgLYFE Posts: 609
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    Why does she care if you look good skinny or not? you are no longer together.
  • grimendale
    grimendale Posts: 2,154 Member
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    It happens. My ex got unbelievably pissed at me and started yelling a similar rant when I last saw her at a friend's wedding. I found out later that she was pissed because I had lost 100 lbs by clean living, whereas she has gotten lap band surgery and still didn't lose much weight. She was taking out her frustration on me for having more willpower (this was the same woman who insisted that her parents hide all of their snack food when she came over because she "couldn't stop herself" from eating all of it if she found it). Let it roll of your back and just remember how well you've done.
  • smilingirisheyes
    smilingirisheyes Posts: 149 Member
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    The outburst was about her, not you. You're doing great things for yourself, so keep it up!
  • jestersand
    jestersand Posts: 61 Member
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    I have found through the years that comments like those are usually spoken from a person that is bitter with their own failures. A girl told me that exact comment to me a few years back, and will admit it hurt me, but it also drove me to keep trying. She is still struggling, and I have moved past it. -There's no way to speak to your ex in a civil matter at this point, but at some point, you should sit down with her in a quite place and express to her how you feel. if she tells you to get over it, then just know you tried and you are dealing with an immature person.

    As far as the whole, not going over your cal limits, I have been dumped my guys when I say stuff like that, so I just keep my mouth shut and I make healthy choices. Even at a buffet, you can do that. So, I really feel for you. :)

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