Definition of supportive

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Replies

  • baycat107
    baycat107 Posts: 165 Member
    Type A for sure. I need the encouragement. I KNOW when I mess up, I don't need anyone to tell me. And the type Bs I've known tend to be know it alls, who think they are always right. Big turn-off for me. Who needs all the negativity? There's enough of that in the real world.
  • iamlaprell
    iamlaprell Posts: 71 Member
    I prefer Type B friends, and I'm definitely a Type B myself. I often find myself prefacing my responses to posts and messages with "Tough Love Time: " lol.


    After reading through some of the replies, I felt it might be better to give a little more info on why I consider myself a Type B....

    I am not judgemental first of all and I do not know it all by any means, however if someone on my friend's list is constantly complaining or is doing something that is harmful to their mental health by say obsessing over every single pound or calorie on a day to day basis, then I don't think it's very helpful to them for me to reinforce that behavior by telling them they are doing a good job to be so obsessive and feel guilty about every single bite of food they take. I think that you can lose 50 pounds but if you lose your happiness and make yourself anorexic in the process then you have lost the battle, the point in getting healthier for most of us is so that we can be happier, not so that we can spend every second of every day obsessing over whether we ate right or too much or worked out enough or need to run further or faster.
  • Trueray
    Trueray Posts: 1,189 Member
    B for me. Hey that rhymes I should be a rapper lol
  • ashlinmarie
    ashlinmarie Posts: 1,263 Member
    I know I'm more type A, but I have been type B personally with a few like one girl who asked for my help in keeping her on track with recovering from her eating disorder...and her friend's all called me a b*tch for it.

    I would rather have type B friends, but honestly, if I'm getting SOME sort of support or motivation, I'm happy. I had too many collector friends that I gave encouragement and criticism to. but they never encouraged or gave me constructive criticism. I feel like if I had some tough love, it'd be easier to stay on track...but instead I have a sabotaging husband and very little will power.
  • bluefox9er
    bluefox9er Posts: 2,917 Member
    There are people on mfp who love the type "B" friends , but being a type "B" friend to someone who has never tried to start a new lifestyle based on healthier eating and exercise could be potentially devastating.

    Smart friends know when to be a type "A" friend, and when to be a type "B" friend.
  • kendrafallon
    kendrafallon Posts: 1,030 Member
    Smart friends know when to be a type "A" friend, and when to be a type "B" friend.
    ^ This in a nutshell
  • soundasleepx
    soundasleepx Posts: 98
    To be honest I'm happy with anyone who is willing to help me along my way, as long as they don't think they know everything and try and tell me HOW I should be going about my weight loss. If it's working for me and I'm just looking for encouragement, I don't want someone putting me off.
  • mumtoonegirl
    mumtoonegirl Posts: 586 Member
    the biggest supporter I have on here is a bit of both, very supportive, positive but she also gives me very honest advice. I know her in real life for 12 years and I knew I would get the honest answers from her. She is VERY informative and is sharing her knowledge she has gained from an amazing trainer on food and the balance with strength training to maximize my results.

    I do love the 'you are doing a great job' comments but I also want the gods honest truth when I am not doing something right! We are all here because we want to not just loose some unwanted weight we are all here because we want to be healthier.
  • MrsSWW
    MrsSWW Posts: 1,585 Member
    I will not be defined as Type A or Type B, I give the support that I think individual friends need - and that can change in a heartbeat. I am the entire alphabet :tongue:
  • lesspaul
    lesspaul Posts: 190 Member
    Type Double-D.

    Just kidding! Really! To be honest I find reading about how others are changing their lives more than I like cheers or jeers in my direction.
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    Smart friends know when to be a type "A" friend, and when to be a type "B" friend.

    ^^^^ totally this

    Why do people have to constantly dichotomise everything? There are times when people need someone to tell them to stop beating themselves up over small failures and focus on the positives, then there are times when people need someone to tell them to get off their backside and stop making excuses. And there are times when people need to be told that what they're trying to do is not going to work or may even harm their health. You will never know which kind of support your friend needs and what approach works best if you don't have any empathy for them or their situation. It involves truly caring for that person. Additionally, sometimes people do need to hear truths that they don't like, but they're more likely to hear them if they can see that you really care about them and have tried to understand their actual situation, rather than just judging from the outside.

    I'm also going to echo in with someone earlier in the thread, that there's also a type C, who thinks they're being a type B, but is actually being insensitive, unsympathetic and judgemental. They march in with hobnail boots on and give "tough love" to someone they've never met before (or never bothered to get to know), whose situation they haven't tried to understand, and they do more harm than good, and what they're trying to say does not get heard.

    A little empathy and understanding goes a long way and sometimes what a person really needs is "type A" support from a friend that understands them.
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025 Member
    A mixture of both a and b. but I think it only works when they interact back and we get to know them on here. I have added people who have asked for supportive friends and they are just blank except for completing their journal and logging exercise. So it just feels wrong to write wtg or good job because you never know what they are thinking.
  • Skrib69
    Skrib69 Posts: 687 Member
    I prefer predominantly Type B, but as has been said, they need to be able to recognise when they need to be Type A. Too much A looses it's effect when it is constant and gushing! Being Type B myself, I can miss the obvious when looking at myself.
  • RATSMITH69
    RATSMITH69 Posts: 127 Member
    Most definitely B. I have no use for smoke blowing. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do, I want someone to kick me in the *kitten*.

    ^ ^ ^
    this for me too
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Type A. I can admonish myself quite well. What I need are people to tell me to relax, to breath, to be nice to myself.
  • BurtHuttz
    BurtHuttz Posts: 3,653 Member
    Type A. I can admonish myself quite well. What I need are people to tell me to relax, to breath, to be nice to myself.

    I am normally viciously abusive in supporting my friends but QT is a delicate flower, so I save up all my "actually positive" support for her.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    B...

    but a lot of folks on MFP just want you to pat them on the head and tell them it's ok...even though it's not ok. I'm actually amazed that some of the folks I come across on MFP have actually survived in the real world for as long as they have...how much coddling does one need?
  • TesselCat
    TesselCat Posts: 74
    The best friends are the ones who can tell you what's wrong with your logic, point out your flaws, show you where you're going wrong, while still telling you that you're awesome and encouraging you towards your goals. Friends who are only negative, or only positive only make things worse.
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Type A. I can admonish myself quite well. What I need are people to tell me to relax, to breath, to be nice to myself.

    I am normally viciously abusive in supporting my friends but QT is a delicate flower, so I save up all my "actually positive" support for her.

    Dawwww! :love: You're good for teh lovey lovin. You're a fantastic friend!
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    Double post. Sorry.
  • Sqeekyjojo
    Sqeekyjojo Posts: 704 Member
    The supportive I need most is the 'zero bounce' kind.

    The rest of the time, I like a mixture of a, b and c. I'm more of a c myself, ie, I'm there but not saying a great deal. Variety is good.
  • traceyjj
    traceyjj Posts: 406 Member
    Smart friends know when to be a type "A" friend, and when to be a type "B" friend.
    ^ Most definitely this!
    I'm only human, and I can and do make mistakes... I like to hear I have done well, but I also like to know I've done bad, and how to make changes for the better.
  • pyrogurl321
    pyrogurl321 Posts: 3
    Most definitely B. I have no use for smoke blowing. If I don't do what I'm supposed to do, I want someone to kick me in the *kitten*.

    Most definitely agreed!
  • TheRightWeigh
    TheRightWeigh Posts: 249 Member
    I like both to be present on my friends list...also the Type C another poster introduced earlier. I don't prefer any...they all have their time and place in my support system.

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