When do you see the skinny girl in the mirror?

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Replies

  • Ladyeliah
    Ladyeliah Posts: 34 Member
    At my heaviest in college I was a size 16 and about eight months ago I fit into a size six, smaller than I had ever had as a goal, but I still felt fat. Then about two or three weeks ago I was walking down the hallway at work in my stupid black pants that are too tight and always feel like they're going to explode and suddenly I felt thin. It's not something I've ever felt before, and I don't know why it happened, but I'm so happy that it stuck around. Now I can look at the saggy skin and the thighs that make trying on pants a frustrating process and feel okay about being where I am and working toward where I want to be.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I apologize if this is on the wrong forum, but I was not sure where to ask it.

    Does anyone else have the same issue of losing quite a bit of weight and then not seeing yourself as the skinny girl/guy yet? I still walk into a store and head towards sizes of clothes that are too big for me and think of myself as being that overweight girl that I used to be. It baffles to me to fit into a size 7 or a small and I am thrilled to have made it this far. Just wondering.


    I used to do this all the time when i first lost 3 stone, i never saw the skinny girl in the mirror and one day in NewLook the shop assistant told me i was picking clothes for fat people! But now that i AM a fat person again...i see the skinny girl in the old photos and i tried on some old clothes the other day-that wouldnt get past my knees! That was a big realisation for me...so i never saw her til she was gone :(
  • MysticRealm
    MysticRealm Posts: 1,264 Member
    I still don't see much difference in the mirror. THe only time I notice it is if I reach both my arms up and I can actually see my ribs and never used to be able to. But stepping out of the shower and seeing myself in the mirror is still gross. I had only planned on losing about another 13 pounds but with how I look right now, I may need to lose more to not have a lot of fat.
    I do see some difference in clothing when I look in the mirror.
  • luvya7sandra796
    luvya7sandra796 Posts: 124 Member
    I am going through that now, I have people tell me you lost weight , you look skinny! I just don't see it! I lost more than 20 pounds and I just still have in my mind, I don't look, how I want to look. I know that is a mental thing! Hoping to get over it soon! Have not bought anything new either. My clothes fit me big! Maybe when I buy something new, I might change my mind. LOL
  • I saw the skinny person in the mirror when I was at my highest weight ... thats why I got so big lol ... I only saw the fat person in pics

    ^^this
  • PattyJane167
    PattyJane167 Posts: 94 Member
    Not sure when we can see the "skinny" person, I would just settle for seeing a smaller person!
  • _crafty_
    _crafty_ Posts: 1,682 Member
    I'd rather see the strong girl in the mirror. She hides behind the fat b!tch most days though.
  • Willowana
    Willowana Posts: 493 Member
    The last time I lost a ton of weight, I had this problem too. I saw no difference and felt no difference....even though I KNEW there was a lot less of me. When I went shopping, I would always pick up what looked like my size. I'd put it on, and it would be 4-5 sizes waaaay too big.

    When I did figure out my "new size", I'd pick up a pair of pants or a shirt, and I'd smirk. Yeah right....like THAT'S going to fit!! And every single time....I was floored when it DID fit. I remember staring at a shirt and then back at my half-dressed self in the mirror of a changing room. I was so confuzzled. It was like some weird optical illusion. Like the sheer physics of me fitting into that shirt were impossible.

    But when I saw my before and after pictures...I could see the difference. I could look at my 'after' photos and see my hardwork and be proud. I still considered myself fat....just not morbidly obese.

    A lot of people attribute this to low self-esteem, but I never felt that way. I love myself, I love my life, and I'm confident in myself as a person. I think some of us have just been so fat for so long...it's ingrained. We don't know how to see ourselves any differently. I wish I could give you hope and say that I finally reached the point where I could see what everyone else saw....but, I hit a plateau, got frustrated, and gave up. Hence, the reason I'm here. I gained it all back and then some. :ohwell:
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
    I still can't see myself as thin. It is quite sad.
  • vdodev
    vdodev Posts: 1
    I'm 5'6 and went from 116lb (skinny but healthy) to 96lb and less, and from a size 3 to a 00 in pants. When I look in the mirror my bones look back at me, there is about an inch and a half of space between my thighs, I can't even make them touch when I press my legs together, yet I still feel like I look the same. I will never see that skinny girl but know I'm always the thinnest in the room. Sometimes the answer is never. Unless you're actually overweight, don't look for the skinny girl because you might spiral into a vicious cycle of being unhealthily underweight (BMI 16 or less) and doing a daily waltz around trying to gain some weight back and not letting go of your current, unsustainable body. That skinny girl is an illusion, an unattainable ideal. She's never happy with what she has and in the end no matter how much she disappears in the mirror, she'll keep pushing for more. If you wear a size small than you are small, don't let your eyes tell you otherwise.
  • ihateroses
    ihateroses Posts: 893 Member
    aim to be the most fit person not the thinnest... plenty of people weighing half of what i do that can't do the things i can do physically...

    then again i am not a woman so i dont really have image issues

    This post was so...irrelevant...

    Standard of male attractiveness is completely different from female attractiveness (generally speaking) so DUH you don't want to be "skinny"...

    There are PLENTY of men with image issues, most are just not vocal about it.

    There are also plenty of WOMEN with absolutely zero body image issues, but they are berated for "showing off" or being too vain.

    p.s. OP you have to actually look at yourself NOW when you look in the mirror. NOT compared to anyone else, not even compared to your former self ("I am thinner than I was..") but just look at yourself and give yourself an honest opinion of yourself...as if you are a stranger.
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
    I definitely do! I know that I look skinny in clothes, even skin tight clothes, but when I am naked in front of the mirror I see excess fat everywhere! My body is weird, certain parts are bony and lean, but other areas still have pockets of fat that do not look lean. At least now with my weight training I look like someone who works out a bit, and not just a smaller blob of myself.
  • Duck_Puddle
    Duck_Puddle Posts: 3,237 Member
    I see a little bit of a difference in photos, but I don't recognize the current photos as me. In the mirror, I don't see anything different at all. In time, I hope I can at least see the photos as me. Cognitively, I know I'm smaller (size 20/22-6/8), but I still see the morbidly obese me in the mirror.
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    I'm 5'6 and went from 116lb (skinny but healthy) to 96lb and less, and from a size 3 to a 00 in pants. When I look in the mirror my bones look back at me, there is about an inch and a half of space between my thighs, I can't even make them touch when I press my legs together, yet I still feel like I look the same. I will never see that skinny girl but know I'm always the thinnest in the room. Sometimes the answer is never. Unless you're actually overweight, don't look for the skinny girl because you might spiral into a vicious cycle of being unhealthily underweight (BMI 16 or less) and doing a daily waltz around trying to gain some weight back and not letting go of your current, unsustainable body. That skinny girl is an illusion, an unattainable ideal. She's never happy with what she has and in the end no matter how much she disappears in the mirror, she'll keep pushing for more. If you wear a size small than you are small, don't let your eyes tell you otherwise.

    Thank you for sharing. :flowerforyou:
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I'm 5'6 and went from 116lb (skinny but healthy) to 96lb and less, and from a size 3 to a 00 in pants. When I look in the mirror my bones look back at me, there is about an inch and a half of space between my thighs, I can't even make them touch when I press my legs together, yet I still feel like I look the same. I will never see that skinny girl but know I'm always the thinnest in the room. Sometimes the answer is never. Unless you're actually overweight, don't look for the skinny girl because you might spiral into a vicious cycle of being unhealthily underweight (BMI 16 or less) and doing a daily waltz around trying to gain some weight back and not letting go of your current, unsustainable body. That skinny girl is an illusion, an unattainable ideal. She's never happy with what she has and in the end no matter how much she disappears in the mirror, she'll keep pushing for more. If you wear a size small than you are small, don't let your eyes tell you otherwise.

    Thank you for sharing. :flowerforyou:


    I knwo this may seem nit-picking, but underweight is a BMI of 18 or less not 16. And i have bulimia and know that she is never happy with what she has....thats the sick twist....all the weight you lose, all the effort you put it and youre NEVER happy ever. Youre never happy and youre never good enough. Im only feeling happy with being the weight i was in my profile pic because i am 30lbs HEAVIER now , when i was that size i was addicted to losing more and more, to starving, to seeing the scales drop virtually everyday and the inches get less and less. I know what i class as skinny and many of you would be appalled at my opinion,so i wont share it. ED are torment
  • kistockman
    kistockman Posts: 80 Member
    I apologize if this is on the wrong forum, but I was not sure where to ask it.

    Does anyone else have the same issue of losing quite a bit of weight and then not seeing yourself as the skinny girl/guy yet? I still walk into a store and head towards sizes of clothes that are too big for me and think of myself as being that overweight girl that I used to be. It baffles to me to fit into a size 7 or a small and I am thrilled to have made it this far. Just wondering.

    This just happened to me the other day. After losing 5 pounds (i'm only 4'8" so this is pretty significant), I went to the store to try on swimsuits. I went straight to the women's swimsuits and began trying on suits that fit me last year and I looked so dumpy. I though, "wow, I'm not as thin as I thought." So I went up a size, and felt worse.

    It was crazy, the bigger the swimsuit the fatter I felt. Though it never once occurred to me that it was the swimsuit that was too big, not me. Then a salesperson pointed out a few cute swimsuits in the Junior section and I laughed, but she insisted so I tried a few on. And they fit perfectly!!

    I still don't see the skinny person in the mirror, but this experience (trying on swimsuits) which is supposed to be humiliating was a wonderful reminder that I am skinnier than I think I look.

    And an added benefit, I spent about $100 on this swimsuit so that's an incentive to maintain my "skinny girl."
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    Hopefully, never.
  • charliemarie923
    charliemarie923 Posts: 275 Member
    I'm 5'6 and went from 116lb (skinny but healthy) to 96lb and less, and from a size 3 to a 00 in pants. When I look in the mirror my bones look back at me, there is about an inch and a half of space between my thighs, I can't even make them touch when I press my legs together, yet I still feel like I look the same. I will never see that skinny girl but know I'm always the thinnest in the room. Sometimes the answer is never. Unless you're actually overweight, don't look for the skinny girl because you might spiral into a vicious cycle of being unhealthily underweight (BMI 16 or less) and doing a daily waltz around trying to gain some weight back and not letting go of your current, unsustainable body. That skinny girl is an illusion, an unattainable ideal. She's never happy with what she has and in the end no matter how much she disappears in the mirror, she'll keep pushing for more. If you wear a size small than you are small, don't let your eyes tell you otherwise.

    Thank you for sharing. :flowerforyou:


    I knwo this may seem nit-picking, but underweight is a BMI of 18 or less not 16. And i have bulimia and know that she is never happy with what she has....thats the sick twist....all the weight you lose, all the effort you put it and youre NEVER happy ever. Youre never happy and youre never good enough. Im only feeling happy with being the weight i was in my profile pic because i am 30lbs HEAVIER now , when i was that size i was addicted to losing more and more, to starving, to seeing the scales drop virtually everyday and the inches get less and less. I know what i class as skinny and many of you would be appalled at my opinion,so i wont share it. ED are torment

    What would have made you happy when you where 30lbs lighter and still not happy?

    Truthful answer? I dont think anything wouldve. Its not truly your weight youre not happy with, its yourself. It just manifests itself through eating.
  • rchingmygoals
    rchingmygoals Posts: 1 Member
    This is something I have always had an issue with in the past. I have lost 60 -70 pounds before, yet when I look in the mirror, I still see the woman that was there before. This time around, I am trying to not focus so much on what I actually see in the mirror, but instead, accepting myself no matter what size or shape I am. I repeat the following mantra when the negative stuff sets in... I accept and love myself as I am right now! Just reminds me to be in the moment, to appreciate myself, and keep going.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,148 Member
    I only see a skinny person if someone else is using the mirror. I'm always going to be fat no matter how much weight I lose.
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
    Yes. Completely. It took me until about 2 weeks ago to genuinely realise that now I look pretty damn good in my underwear, haha. Without blowing my own trumpet!! But before that I was seeing things that weren't really there.
    It took a lot of positive compliments before I saw it myself.
  • It took me 3 years from when I started losing weight to see the 'thinner' me in the mirror. I'm still not at my final goal yet and I still don't look in the mirror and think "Damn you're skinny" but I do look in the mirror and think "Damn, I not nearly as fat as I used to be". For me that's enough. Hopefully the skinny thoughts will come when I reach my goal weight.
  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
    I've been thinking about this a lot lately, too. When I was 35 lb heavier than now, I never looked in the mirror and thought I was fat, except for when I went shopping for clothes. I still see myself as I did then, in the mirror. Well, except that I now have collar bones. However, the biggest discrepancy between the mirror and reality is when I look at pictures of myself: back then, when I saw pics of me, I'd cringe "am I really that big? no, it can't be!" but now it's the other way around "am I really that small? no, it can't be!"

    It sometimes takes me by surprise how I now see girls at work, whom I before considered impossibly tiny, I now see as normal, sometimes even a little chubby. And I catch myself lookind disdainfully at people who are overweight, which then seriously upsets me because it's not fair at all.

    I think this is another reason why losing weight slowly is so important. it's emotionally and psychologically really difficult to come to terms with the new "me" and the relationship this new "me" has with the rest of he world.
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    I saw the skinny person in the mirror when I was at my highest weight ... thats why I got so big lol ... I only saw the fat person in pics

    Add me to this one. I always thought and felt that I looked 'good' and until my body started complaining about the excess weight I was carrying around I never even noticed the extra weight. I was very active, I went hiking all the time, I worked hard, I was stronger then a lot of guys I know (still am) I just weighed 228 lbs LOL.

    When I look in the mirror I can see that I am getting smaller but I am not where I want to be yet. Possibly its some memory of when I was smaller that has helped me to be able to see it happening - I have no idea. I would be curious to know if people who have never been at their ideal weight have more of challenge seeing the losses?
  • I never do :( I only notice the difference in pictures
  • TubbsMcGee
    TubbsMcGee Posts: 1,058 Member
    I've never seen her.
  • hdjjones
    hdjjones Posts: 130 Member
    I've poked a good 7 inches of holes in my belt, but when I look in the mirror or see a recent pic to me I still look huge. Guess I didn't realize how big I really was.:blushing:
  • coco8916
    coco8916 Posts: 10 Member
    you dont see the skinny girl in the mirror. you see her through others. Meaning, when people who used to look skinny dont look so skinny anymore, you know you're skinny. or vice versa, people who used to look fat dont quite look so fat, you know you are getting fat! Thats how I often realize im gaining or losing wieght!