Need input on gyms......embarassment here.

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I need some HONEST feedback here, and am turning to all of you.

I have lost 70 pounds so far on diet alone in the last 7 months. And have done so without exercise.

I could not go to a gym out of personal low esteem, and concern of people looking at me being "that guy". I am 43, and now 298 lbs.

But now it's time to put reality in check, exercise and resistence training needs to be incorporated. And I can't break the bank for thousands of home gym equipment.

I want to enroll, but I have never set foot inside a gym before. I have one near my house that is open 24 hour a day.

I know going inside, i will see many 20 somethings with defined bodies. I don't want to be the only guy walking in, and feel like I'm the dairy cow in the herd of horses.

Reality check, what is the attitude in the gym? Give it to me. Should I try and get off another 30 or just get over my fears?
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Replies

  • JenMc14
    JenMc14 Posts: 2,389 Member
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    I am not a regular gym goer, but my husband is. If you go in, do your work and get out, no one will care. If you're in the way, overly chatty to others trying to work, don't put your plates back or wipe off your equpiment, people will care. You can ask for a spot, you can ask to work in, you can ask for help with form, just make sure the person you're asking doesn't look to into their routine or is in the middle of a lift. I'd suggest looking around bodybuilding.com and muscleandstrength.com for program ideas as well as instructions on proper form. if the gym offers a trainer session or two, I'd definitely go for that to learn proper form. Get in some good cardio, whatever you can do. Learn the basic compound lifts and do 2-3 sets of those for less than 10 reps.
  • mummyzena
    mummyzena Posts: 259 Member
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    If you were in my gym you'd be a spring chicken. At the time i go it's mainly retired gentlemen. There are younger ones and there are heavier ones, no one pays attention. If it would make you at ease taking a buddy could help distract you.xx
  • Rak0ribz
    Rak0ribz Posts: 177 Member
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    I'd just like to add that your local YMCA probably skews a bit older. Mine has a lot of retirees. That said, I don't think you should worry about it much; there aren't many gyms where people are even going to pay attention to how you're working out.
  • kgoodman0108
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    I've gone to the gym off and on over the past 5 years. If you are feeling anxious, I would try going at off hours. You'll find that its the most crowded before and after work ( around 6-7am and 5-6pm). Try going in the middle of the day if your schedule allows, or even later in the evening. Maybe ask someone at the front desk what their slowest times of the day are. Trust me, not everyone who goes to the gym is in shape.

    DO NOT WORRY about what others might think. You are wanting to better yourself! Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,220 Member
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    I started going to the gym at 220 pounds. I was terrified people would point and laugh. They pretty much ignored me and everyone else they didn't know. Now being that 20 something in shape person I realize most people are just there to workout and don't think about the other people. When I see a larger person there working out I think, "Good for them! I sure hope they stick with it long enough to see results!" It's actually awesome to see their progress and I try to take the time to let them know the changes are visible.
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
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    Every gym I've ever been in has a wide variety of people. Yes, there are extremely fit people. There are also young people, old people, heavy people, very skinny people, people not doing much, and people working hard.

    I've been in several YMCAs and commercial gyms. It's seriously the same everywhere.

    Just go, work hard, and have a good time. Don't worry about everyone else - because 99% of the time, they aren't worried about you either.
  • Joreanasaurous
    Joreanasaurous Posts: 1,384 Member
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    Don't worry about anyone else. They won't be either. I'm my most self absorbed at the gym. Most people are like me and have their headphones in and are in the "zone". I could be lifting weights or running next to Jesus and wouldn't notice.
  • juliekins64
    juliekins64 Posts: 125 Member
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    Hi, I am a 29 year old female who is now in pretty good shape.
    I think it really depends when you are going.
    I usually go in the evening at 7:30 and there are lots of "bros" there watching themselves pump iron. I switched it up for a while and went in the morning on weekends and it was all elderly people in the machines and only women lifting weights. If I go at 9PM on a Friday or Saturday night there are only 1 maybe 2 other people there.

    Also want to add, everyone started somewhere. I started 1 year after a baby with zero ability to move and breath at the same time and at least 30 lbs overweight. People look at each other once in a while at the gym but that's because it's either boring or they are checking their form against yours (because they think you have better form and want to copy).

    Go to a city owned gym (like the YMCA), there will be a greater variety of bodies in place like that.
  • Rivers2k
    Rivers2k Posts: 380 Member
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    Go at 5 am like I do its mostly old people there at that time. I assume that is probably true of most gyms. There are few people in the 20's 30's but not many. I can think of only 3 really fit people that are there eat the time that I go. Also it doesn't matter what you look like most people are focusing on themselves and if you are working hard they will just think to themselves look how hard that guy is working.
  • willow885
    willow885 Posts: 1 Member
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    No worries, if I was to see a heavier person in the gym, my thoughts would be 'good for them, they are in the gym exercising' with no judgments at all. I agree as well, that the YMCA is a great atmosphere, there are people of all ages and sizes.

    Sounds like you are doing great, keep up the good work!
  • professorRAT
    professorRAT Posts: 690 Member
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    My gym has all sorts of people in it. Fat, skinny, young, old, nice, rude, annoying, quiet, loud....you name it, we got it! :laugh:

    It may help to have a partner or personal trainer to go with at first. That helped me a lot. Off times can help, too (as someone mentioned) Then, once you are comfortable with your routine, you will feel much better. Strength training changes everything, so I highly recommend you start a routine.

    Good luck!:drinker:
  • Mrsnieve
    Mrsnieve Posts: 2
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    There is absolutely NOTHING to be embarrassed about!! Going to the gym is a healthy way to live your life.... as a person who struggles with weight, i, personally, would be MORE embarrassed about being seen at a taco bell!! You are making the right decision, and by the way, i go to the gym by myself regularly, and nobody seems to be paying any attention to anyone else. try planet fitness, if you have one, it's affordable, and the staff there will help you when you have questions! good luck to you!
  • SirZee
    SirZee Posts: 381
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    Psh... nobody goes to the gym to look at others. There's nothing to worry about, contrary to what marketing tries to make it look like, its not a party, more of a solitary thing. If anything, people just get in your way, waste your time having to wait for stations you want.

    If anything I respect larger people--or anyone who doesnt look like a gymrat--because I know its extra hard, and they also often need to work up the courage to to do their thing. To me it shows they dont care what others think (a good thing) they are here to work out, not to socialize.


    gymrat - someone who can't stay out of the gym.
  • Ben2118
    Ben2118 Posts: 571 Member
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    Just go!!

    It's a simple as that, the guys who are ripped and look like they live there will have just as many insecurities as you will.

    I have been in the same position, I left the gym due the distance I had to travel but honestly, just go! You will feel like EVERYONE is looking at you, but then you will realise, everyone is just there to do the same as you, get some exercise in and they don't care what anyone else looks like or is doing. You may get the occasional *kitten* hole, but you get that everywhere, not just the gym!

    The fact you are putting the effort in will gain you respect if you become a regular, regardless of where you started or how much you currently weigh.

    Congratulations on the 70lbs lost already! Get to the gym!!
  • lilawolf
    lilawolf Posts: 1,690 Member
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    I always find it inspiring actually when large people are hitting it hard. Makes me want to work even harder! If you can do it, I have no excuse being lazy lol. If you are breaking a sweat, people will either think that you are awesome or not notice you at all.

    Now the chick that goes to my gym, with 20ish pounds to lose, lifting 5lb dumbbells super slow while chewing gum like a cow and watching tv, or going half a mile an hour on the elliptical while reading Cosmo....:explode:
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Yeah. If I noticed you, I'd mentally think "way to go - it's hard to start working out." If you were still there long enough to show progress, I'd be sure to let you know.
  • Buzymomof_3
    Buzymomof_3 Posts: 73 Member
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    I go to the fitness center at the local university (I'm 100 lbs overweight). Believe it or not, there are all sizes/ages. They gave me a free workout routine, walked me through it once and then I was on my own. I just go, do my thing and leave Nobody ever gave me any looks, a lot just smile and say hi. Agree with another poster, the only time you'll get looks is if you don't put up your plates or if you don't wipe down the equipment. I also joined because it has a pool and I love swimming and water aerobics. Don't like how I look in a swimsuit - tough, don't look. Act like you belong and you will. Good Luck!
  • Mandykinz2008
    Mandykinz2008 Posts: 292 Member
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    When I see a larger person there working out I think, "Good for them! I sure hope they stick with it long enough to see results!" It's actually awesome to see their progress and I try to take the time to let them know the changes are visible.

    Agree with this entirely. I'm not in great shape and have found nothing but support at the Gold's Gyms I go to. My boyfriend, however, is in amazing shape. I can tell you from watching him..other people aren't looking or honestly caring. Other than probably being proud that you're trying, most people are focused at the gym to get done what they want to get done there. They don't look the way they do or spend the money they're spending to go in or by looking around judging other people. Go for it. Yes, there will be 20somethings in there all ripped, but believe me when I say there will also be a LOT of other people just like you. Don't psych yourself out..it'll be great for you in the end!
  • brittanylock09
    brittanylock09 Posts: 197 Member
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    Just remember that most of those people have been tiny and toned their whole life. You'er losing weight for your health, they do it to just look good. Remember, you will always have a better story to tell than they ever will. I mean, maybe not the case for all, but I always tell myself when I start noticing all these little girls flaunting their stuff. Just don't try and compete with others. You see them going really fast or lifting a lot, don't thin you have to do that too. Work your way up and build up strength and endurance. Remember you are doing this for you! Take baby steps in their and don't be afraid to ask for help or try out different machines. Unless you have your pants fallin off your butt and mooning someone (I had this happen to me :( OMG) then you will be fine :) Nobody is gonna judge you. People understand that the gym is for people to lose weight, for people to gain muscle, for people to gain strength, for people to rehabilitate, for people to get tone, for people to become healthy... on and on and on. Everyone there is for different reasons, and most people will realize that.
  • blueimp
    blueimp Posts: 230 Member
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    I don't do the gym thing anymore. But when I did, I started out by asking the staff for assistance, then I hired a personal trainer for a while, finally I would just ask other customers -- but by then they'd seen me around and I didn't feel like I was being intrusive. Ask the staff - that's what they are there for, there may be protocols, but they are usually posted.
    As to the other patrons, they probably won't care or even pay too much attention until they see you around a while. They will nod or sometimes wave. I used to go early in the morning, then the only young folks were staff and the military vets, the rest of us were people with jobs :laugh: .
    If the gym is your thing, you'll be fine. I've moved outdoors except in bad weather.