No standards anymore?

24

Replies

  • Fox_n_sox
    Fox_n_sox Posts: 283 Member
    I think you still want to sleep with him and that is why you are upset.

    Lmao..yep. I wanna jump his bones :wink:
  • spike90
    spike90 Posts: 704 Member
    I started dating my husband in December of 1995 (met him at a new job) and we were married in April 1996. We have been married for 17 years this month.
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
    I started dating my husband in December of 1995 (met him at a new job) and we were married in April 1996. We have been married for 17 years this month.

    boom and boom
  • aaronlawrenc
    aaronlawrenc Posts: 666 Member
    maybe he knocked her up??
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    What's it to you? How does this honestly affect your life?


    or are you jealous that it's not you?
  • neandermagnon
    neandermagnon Posts: 7,436 Member
    I knew i was going to marry my husband from the moment we met. We've been married 14 years this month. But I will add we "lived in sin" for 2 years before getting married. We moved in together after only knowing each other for a month. Neither of us were new to the dating scene by the time we met So we knew what we did and didn't want.

    That sounds really similar to my husband... I never even believed in love at first sight until I met him... we moved in together after less than a month and got married soon after, and we'll have been married 13 years this year :)

    with some people you just click and get on really well right from the start... I've had that with friendship too, i.e. certain people I just hit it off with and we're like old friends right from the start. Was like that with my husband, just there was physical attraction as well. first day we met we spent the whole time chatting, we're both nerds so you can imagine the kind of conversations, and yes we still have in depth conversations on nerd topics.

    So long as you know enough about the person to know that you're compatible personality wise, and that the other person is not an abusive bully or other red flags for serious issues, there's no reason why you need to have been together for a set number of months before you can possibly know if you're right for each other. Sometimes it just doesn't take that long to know.
  • fitznewme2013
    fitznewme2013 Posts: 31
    I asked my husband to marry me 3 weeks into our relationship. got married within 3 months. We have been happily married for almost 9 years and have 2 amazing kids together! we were 19 and 20 when we got married.

    I have known people who were together/engaged for 5 years got married and were separated or divorced within a year.

    if your willing to work at a relationship of any kind you can make it work. regardless of how long you are together your going to have issues or problems its just are both parties willing to work together to make it strong, loving, and lasting

    my personal opinion is love who you love and work for it! nothing comes easy!
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    They will likely be divorced a year after getting married. 6 months is way to soon to get married.. I mean they probably haven't even farted in front of each other yet.
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
    meh, Facebook is a mind suck. And frankly, I don't care what anyone thinks about my morality...No offense to OP but why do you care? He's making it legal, so what if they decided they were the one? I thought that once and "the one" apparently meant something different.

    World problems first....what other people do with their freedom doesn't really bother me unless it has a direct effect on my life. Been there recently...:indifferent:
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
    If you're in a happy relationship, why do you even care?

    Exactly! It just sounds like you're upset it wasn't you. Let it go if you're in a happy relationship. Why even worry about him???
  • Skratchie
    Skratchie Posts: 131 Member
    My parents were both in the military when they met. They knew each other for six hours before my dad told my mom he was going to marry her. He had to leave the next morning to return to his home base in Kansas (they met in California, where she was stationed), and he came back six months later and they got married. Forty-six years later, they are still very much married, and probably more in love than ever. Is it for everyone? Nope.

    I met my current husband in July 2007 - I thought he hated me. But I was wrong, and we started seeing each other in November that year. Two months later, he moved in and we were engaged by March. It was another 13 months before we got married, and we'll be celebrating our 4 yr anniversary next week. We are madly in love - so much so that his brothers tell him all the time how sappy we are. LOL And then they admit they wish their marriage was half as solid as ours.

    If two people are committed to making a relationship work, then it will work. The problem isn't when people don't know each other "well enough" to be married - it's when they don't care enough to make the relationship their priority in life.
  • _Witsy_
    _Witsy_ Posts: 609 Member
    I'm not sure why you think your definition of "normal" should be the same for everyone.

    Plenty of people meet, fall in love, and get married quickly. It may not be your cup of tea, but it works for many.

    My parents met and were engaged within 5 months. They celebrated their 38th wedding anniversary on Friday.
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    I whole heartily believe you know when you meet "The One". It happened to me and I been married now for 17 years.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    My husband and I dated for 3 months when I was 15 and he was 17 ( we broke up when he went to college). Then three years ago we "met" again and it was pretty instant. We moved in together after 2 months and got married shortly thereafter.
  • Christizzzle
    Christizzzle Posts: 454 Member
    "Meh, if it doesn't work out, we can get divorced."

    ~People these days
  • Mbishop7684
    Mbishop7684 Posts: 171 Member
    I know someone who got engaged within a year of meeting, moved in together, and finally married 10 years later. One week after the wedding, they annulled.

    This isn't a one size fits all issue. Chalk it up to its not something you would do but hey, its not you and you aren't close with them so the necessity of your approval is null and void.
  • hbrittingham
    hbrittingham Posts: 2,518 Member
    I whole heartily believe you know when you meet "The One". It happened to me and I been married now for 17 years.

    Yup, same here. My husband and I went on a date at the end of January, 1991. He came home with me on Valentine's Day the next month and never left. We've been together for 23 years and will be married 21 years next month. When you know, you know.
  • MelsAuntie
    MelsAuntie Posts: 2,833 Member
    That does seem too fast, and you're right, how can you know you're compatible in so short a time? I was engaged for four years, while he went off to Vietnam and I went off to college. Married for 42 years now. I think people nowadays just think "oh if it doesn't work we'll just split up/divorce".
  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
    Are there no more NORMAL relationships where you are together for 6 months before the question is popped

    Are you saying that the norm is to be together 6 months and then get engaged? Do you have any stats on that?
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    My grandparents literally knew each other 3 days before getting married. They were together over 40 years until he died.

    My parents got married after 4 months of knowing each other. Just celebrated 45 years.

    Yet I've know couples my age who dated for years before getting happy and are now miserable.

    There is no "recipe" or right/wrong.
  • jbutterflye
    jbutterflye Posts: 1,914 Member
    So, as I am looking up a friend on Facebook, he just so happens to have the name of a guy I was casually seeing in December/January -he called it off suddenly & I had no idea why -Then last month I saw he was in a relationship with a girl around that time he said "Things weren't going to work out between us" (Didn't know there was a "thing" between us..) ANYWAYS, like I said I was looking up a friend of mine and his name popped up, and I see "Engaged" I'm like WTF! Are there no more NORMAL relationships where you are together for 6 months before the question is popped? I mean how can you know a person well enough to know you want to spend the rest of your life with them in 6 weeks? It's still the Honeymoon phase. I get the "Love at first sight" thing, but I bet that majority of people who become engaged within the first 6 weeks to 6 months don't last 5 years. Can anyone give me some insight to this madness? Tell me I'm wrong & show me proof that I am wrong!?

    Sometimes when you know, you know. I was engaged 3 weeks after 1st date, married about 2 months after that. Been together over 14 years now.
  • WannaDizzolve
    WannaDizzolve Posts: 270 Member
    i hate to bring this up but maybe when he was seeing you, he was starting to see someone else. people do that.

    He sounds like a real catch (sarcasm intended).

    You should let it go. It's pretty obvious that none of this was about you. Sometimes things just don't work out.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I knew I was going to marry my husband before I even saw his face (thank goodness it's a good one), we were 12 . . . we got married 17 years (and many other relationships and life events) later. Sometimes you know, and I knew. Everyone's situation is different. I know people who choose a long term committed relationship without marriage or an engagement and that's not my life vision, but who am I to judge it's not like I'm living their life vision.

    Maybe the standard shouldn't be to judge people who don't share your views on how you want to live your life?
  • Fozzi43
    Fozzi43 Posts: 2,984 Member
    I started seeing my husband and within two days he asked me to marry him..we got married 8 months later ( in between that he had 2 months in prison..I stuck by him) and this year we have been married 13 years.
  • IamRoJ
    IamRoJ Posts: 530 Member
    My parents married a month after meeting. Would've hit 50 years of marriage, had my dad not passed. It happens. Not sure how one can judge on the outside what's right or wrong for a relationship. My two cents.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I don't think it's impossible to know pretty much right away that you want to marry someone. My grandparents got married 2 weeks to the day after they met. They celebrated 65 years of marriage last month. My brother said he knew within a month of meeting his wife that he would marry her. They've been married nearly 6 years and are still going strong. One of my friends from college called me one night when she got home from a first date and told me she just had dinner with the man she was going to marry. They've now been married for 8 years. It happens.

    HOWEVER, I do think there are a whole lot of people who have a very different interpretation of the word "engaged" than I do. To me, an engagement is simply the time between the proposal and the wedding day, which should be a relatively brief period (i.e. just long enough to plan the wedding). I have always said I do not want a man to propose to me unless he's ready to sit down and pick out a date. To me, the only difference between boyfriend/girlfriend and an open-ended engagement is a diamond ring, and I'd prefer not to be "branded" in that way if all I am to a guy is his girlfriend.

    These days, most people think an engagement is just another level between bf/gf and husband/wife. They may not even intend to actually walk down the aisle. They just want to make it more "official" than "he's my boyfriend." And a lot of guys get so sick of being nagged by their girlfriends about marriage that they think "Hey, if all it takes to shut her up is a ring and the idea that we'll get married SOMEday, I can live with that." And 5 years later, they're still not married.
  • _Tristan_
    _Tristan_ Posts: 221 Member
    So.... you're saying that you're the female version of Good Luck Chuck? How you doin? Just kidding, I was actually Good Luck Chuck for a little while and I hated it. The rules of dating are constantly evolving and I hated keeping up with them. Glad I'm out of that "game".
  • Babygirl928
    Babygirl928 Posts: 378 Member
    I knew my husband for 2 months and was married in 5 months after the day we met. In June we will be married for 20 years. It's not necessarily the length of time becasue we are all constantly changing, it's the committment that people are willing to give to the marriage. There is no respect for the union anymore I think THAT is where the problem is...just my opinion :happy:
  • sbbhbm
    sbbhbm Posts: 1,312 Member
    Meh. I've told this story before, but it's applicable here. My father proposed to my mother on their first date (which was only one day after they met!). They got married a few weeks later. Married for 32 years until he passed away.
  • starbab311
    starbab311 Posts: 94 Member
    Every one of my exes found love right after we broke up... Makes you feel like you groom them for others.
    Every one of my exes is also divorced ((ok there are only 2 of them but that's a high rate))

    I say it's better you didn't waste years wondering why you settled...

    Let the Bridezilla come out and see how long their "ever after" really is...

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