Criticism vs Shaming
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Just call all fat people "healthy" and "skinny." That'll solve everything.0
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http://www.cnn.com/2013/04/12/health/cherie-steffen-weight-loss/index.html?hpt=hp_abar
Is this the story to which you're referring?
If it is the story that is no child lol But it kicked her fat *kitten* into gear she is now a nutritionist! Makes me smile :happy:0 -
A teacher should never tell a student she is fat. If a teacher is that concerned about a student's weight, she can do a couple of things. 1. Mention it to the school nurse and have the nurse evaluate if there is a health issue. Then the nurse can contact the parents 2. Decide to have a class lecture on healthy eating and exercise for the entire class, never addressing the child in question specifically.
I also call BS on coaches who believe they need to shame their players into performing better. To me it's the same logic. You can motivate people without shaming them, especially children.
As a health teacher, it is in my curriculum to teach about healthy eating and nutrition. While I do not call out any student for being overweight, and trust me, I have a few overweight students in my class, I WILL emphasize the importance of eating a balanced diet, stick to the calorie levels kids this age should be consuming, and inform them of the amount of calories, sugar, sodium and fat there are in local fast food restaurants. They LEARN this information so they can make better choices. But, the choice to eat what they eat remains entirely up to them -- and I do not "shame" anyone. What I hope to have happen is what happened last year with my students: "Wow, there are 37 teaspoons full of sugar in that Sonic fruit smoothie!" "Wow, there are 850 calories in that one slice of loaded pizza!" "WHOA, one BK whopper with cheese, large fry and large coke is nearly an ENTIRE day's worth of calories!"
That's what they learn -- and no one is shamed in the process.0 -
If it is the story that is no child lol But it kicked her fat *kitten* into gear she is now a nutritionist! Makes me smile :happy:
No, definitely NOT a child. I still find what the teacher said and how/where it was said to be very offensive and inappropriate.0 -
While it is very true that my son's issue is most likely genetic (it doesn't make it any less hurtful), I was trying to point out that no one truly knows the reason for a person's situation. You can't assume it's always poor nutrition and even in the event that it is, telling an eight year old (as an example) that they are overweight is likely not going to have a positive impact and it's the parents that truly need to help the child change those habits. My son is 13 and telling him it's genetics doesn't make him feel any better about his situation (I've tried). Unfortunately, in today's society it has become more accepted to be overweight, making it that much more difficult.Honestly, anything said can be hurtful. I'm dealing with my 13 year old son right now having the opposite issue. He is very thin, as both my husband and I were in our younger years. At his age and metabolism, he would have a tough time gaining weight, he is just growing too darn fast. Yet people are making fun of him for being too thin. It is really impacting his self-esteem, he's asking how he can gain weight. Why is this any more ok? I have similar issues now that I've lost weight, people commenting that I shouldn't lose anymore, I'm going to whittle down to nothing, etc. I know how to brush it off, but still tired of hearing it. Doesn't mean I'm going to go put on weight.
We all have our own journeys and you never know when a person might have a health issue that is making them fat or thin or if it's just a choice. It really isn't for anyone else to decide or comment on. For all a person knows, that person has already dropped 100 lbs. If you don't have all the facts, it's better to just keep it shut.
The difference is.....your son it looks to be genetic. For the most part (I do not know the exact issue for this child) kids that are fat is due to eating habits which can be controlled and a child being obese can be prevented. There is no comparison when it has to do with poor diet and lack of exercise.0 -
If it is the story that is no child lol But it kicked her fat *kitten* into gear she is now a nutritionist! Makes me smile :happy:
No, definitely NOT a child. I still find what the teacher said and how/where it was said to be very offensive and inappropriate.
The mothers dying words were to lose weight lmao Do you find that offensive? Of course not because you are going to say it is her mom. She was a grown woman ffs mom or not she had to be told she was too fat lol Maybe if her teacher would have told her about 16 yrs prior her college prof never would have had the chance :laugh:0 -
I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)
You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.
The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.
There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.
Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")0 -
I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)
You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.
The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.
There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.
Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")
You are absolutely right, there! We teachers are charged with the responsibility of educating our students in manners pertaining to their health and welfare. We can talk all we want, provide excellent lessons and hands on learning, but ultimately, the responsibility falls with the student and the parents. I was once told "You spend more time with my daughter than her mom and I do - please remember how important a role model you are to her." That was a very honest and insightful comment from a dad, and I took it to heart. I treat these kids like they're my own -- I hurt when they do, celebrate when they do, and discipline them appropriately when I need to, and yet SOME parents have accused me of stepping over my bounds (by pointing out healthy eating, or making them do chores in my room -- the HORRORS!). Teachers have to walk a fine line every day. Some parents are okay with this, others are not.0 -
All contextual. If I was a teacher I'd never call out a student on being fat, it's not breaking any rules and isn't relevant. However I reached a level where I got fat to the point where even my closest friends were mocking and ridiculing me for it. Shaming, if you like. That was a big trigger for me to fix it. I'm eternally grateful for being shamed. Some of the "support" I see on here just pandering and being ridiculously nice to everyone seems very counter-intuitive. Don't tell me I look amazing when I don't. It's not helpful, and makes me distrust you.0
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I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)
You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.
The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.
There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.
Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")
You are absolutely right, there! We teachers are charged with the responsibility of educating our students in manners pertaining to their health and welfare. We can talk all we want, provide excellent lessons and hands on learning, but ultimately, the responsibility falls with the student and the parents. I was once told "You spend more time with my daughter than her mom and I do - please remember how important a role model you are to her." That was a very honest and insightful comment from a dad, and I took it to heart. I treat these kids like they're my own -- I hurt when they do, celebrate when they do, and discipline them appropriately when I need to, and yet SOME parents have accused me of stepping over my bounds (by pointing out healthy eating, or making them do chores in my room -- the HORRORS!). Teachers have to walk a fine line every day. Some parents are okay with this, others are not.
Yerp! And as soon as their kid is getting d's and f's its your fault lol not the fact they never asked the kid if he/she had homework...not the fact they didnt monitor wtf their kids do from the time they get out of school lol Is it just me or does everything seem to go back to accountability lol SMH0 -
My brothers used to make fun of me for being fat all the time when i was younger...Hated it at the time but it was a motivating factor to make a change.0
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The mothers dying words were to lose weight lmao Do you find that offensive? Of course not because you are going to say it is her mom. She was a grown woman ffs mom or not she had to be told she was too fat lol Maybe if her teacher would have told her about 16 yrs prior her college prof never would have had the chance :laugh:
I really hope you're just being sarcastic and you really do know the difference between what her mother said to her and what that teacher did.
Her mother loves her and is worried about her health.
The teacher ridiculed her by comparing her to a character in the movie, and got some laughs out of the comment from others.
Big difference. But, I hope you know that.0 -
I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)
You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.
The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.
There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.
Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")
You are absolutely right, there! We teachers are charged with the responsibility of educating our students in manners pertaining to their health and welfare. We can talk all we want, provide excellent lessons and hands on learning, but ultimately, the responsibility falls with the student and the parents. I was once told "You spend more time with my daughter than her mom and I do - please remember how important a role model you are to her." That was a very honest and insightful comment from a dad, and I took it to heart. I treat these kids like they're my own -- I hurt when they do, celebrate when they do, and discipline them appropriately when I need to, and yet SOME parents have accused me of stepping over my bounds (by pointing out healthy eating, or making them do chores in my room -- the HORRORS!). Teachers have to walk a fine line every day. Some parents are okay with this, others are not.
Yerp! And as soon as their kid is getting d's and f's its your fault lol not the fact they never asked the kid if he/she had homework...not the fact they didnt monitor wtf their kids do from the time they get out of school lol Is it just me or does everything seem to go back to accountability lol SMH
Yep. I was threatened with a lawsuit because a student received an F. The parent accused me of giving the kid this grade because "You have never liked him and this is retribution."0 -
For every kid who improves their life after fat-shaming, there are many more who wind up with self-esteem problems and unhealthy relationships with food. The teacher showed poor leadership and was rude.0
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If you care about someone, then having a sincere conversation about their weight is fine. It's similar to a conversation that you would have with a friend who was smoking cigarettes or drinking too much alcohol. Saying that you are concerned that their weight is going to have a detrimental effect on their long-term health is a valid reason to have a discussion.
Bullying or shaming someone is probably not productive. I can't imagine a scenario in which that would motivate me to make long term changes to my behavior.0 -
The mothers dying words were to lose weight lmao Do you find that offensive? Of course not because you are going to say it is her mom. She was a grown woman ffs mom or not she had to be told she was too fat lol Maybe if her teacher would have told her about 16 yrs prior her college prof never would have had the chance :laugh:
I really hope you're just being sarcastic and you really do know the difference between what her mother said to her and what that teacher did.
Her mother loves her and is worried about her health.
The teacher ridiculed her by comparing her to a character in the movie, and got some laughs out of the comment from others.
Big difference. But, I hope you know that.
I am serious as a heart attack I love my money and I would rather see her healthy as well so my tax dollars dont pay for her medical bills.....obama care is going to be passed. So I care about her health just as much as her mother but for a different reason may not be out of love for her per say but def out of love for hard earned cash lol0 -
From the CNN article you seem to be referencing:
---
"Hey, Precious."
Cherie Hart Steffen turned toward her professor in the hall of their community college. "What?" she asked, sure she had misheard.
"Precious -- you know, from the movie," he repeated.
The students around them started laughing. Steffen could only stare in disbelief. He had just compared her to Gabourey Sidibe's obese character in the 2009 film.
"It was like ... someone hit me with a frying pan on my head," she remembers.
---
Yes, that was bullying. OP probably should have included that from the beginning. Until I went and looked at the article I wouldn't have thought so; context is key.0 -
I was aware that I was overweight; I didn't need anyone to tell me. I also honestly don't care how overweight someone chooses to be (unless government healthcare in the USA happens, not fond of possibly having to pay higher taxes to take care of someone's problems they created on their own.)
You are aware government funded healthcare IS supported by tax dollars, right? I support Universal healthcare, I'm just wanting to make sure we're on the same page.
The context of the comment wasn't given about the teacher and student. Was it a health class (a perfectly okay environment to talk about the ill effects of obesity, as long as it's done so objectively and respectfully), was the student even American? As someone else pointed out, many other cultures see "you're too fat" on the same level as "you have lint on your shirt" (more or less. you know what I'm saying - they're pointing out a problem you may want to fix). Did the teacher have any right to be rude?Absolutely not.
There's also a difference between shaming someone for being a fattie and sitting down with a particular student who may have weight issues and voicing your concerns in a supportive manner. Yes, I WOULD do that with someone who tanned too much, smoke too much, or drank too much (and I have. It resulted in one of my best friends attending AA, and now she's been 3 years sober and better off for it). It may surprise you, but teachers don't go into teaching for the money. They care about their students. Not saying every teacher is even close to perfect, but again, context is key and I feel like we weren't given any.
Also, I'm kind of amused at the people who say it's no place for the school to voice concerns over weight issues, and then turn around and complain that public schools need to practically babysit their precious little snowflakes for them ("help you with homework? You were supposed to learn that at school!" "Why didn't the school teach you about how to do taxes or do your laundry?... It's not MY place to make sure you grow into a well adjusted, functioning adult or anything! ")
That's the thing, though. I have never seen any of the people I know well who drink huge amounts of alcohol but still go into work hungover get concern trolled. I've never seen the people who are obviously in bad relationships get told "Your boyfriend is a *kitten* and/or he's just not that into you." I've never seen overly abrasive people or overly nitpicky people get told "You criticize others too much."
But as an overweight person, who regularly logs my calories and is losing weight, it's 100% okay for people whose last names I do not know to tell me I should check out this diet book or not eat this food or go ahead and eat this one because everything needs to be done in moderation, or whatever other thing they want to tell me. Because our culture has different attitudes about fat people than it does about other unhealthy habits.
And if a government funded healthcare system makes it in america, people are going to whine to fat people about their tax dollars, but no one is going to yell at those people in publicly funded clinics about them using up all the tax dollars. I promise you.0 -
I've never seen the people who are obviously in bad relationships get told "Your boyfriend is a *kitten* and/or he's just not that into you."
If you say something, you're the one who gets dropped for being a B-. If you don't say something, then you're a B- for not saying something earlier.
Wouldn't you rather get confirmation on your weight being an issue before you lose your feet to diabetes?:huh:0 -
For every kid who improves their life after fat-shaming, there are many more who wind up with self-esteem problems and unhealthy relationships with food. The teacher showed poor leadership and was rude.
MOST of the fat shaming that occurs occurs more between peer groups than teacher/students. I do agree that the teacher showed poor leadership and was rude. However, that doesn't mean that teachers should NOT try to teach proper eating and health habits. I fully support educating the young on proper eating habits before those habits become lifelong. I am disappointed more parents and doctors do NOT address the situation. A fat child is that way because of his/her parents giving them the wrong foods and not encouraging them to exercise. I blame the parents for their child's obesity, and I think parents need to open their eyes and be willing to accept blame and say "Yes, my child has a problem -- and I need to help him deal with it."
Oh, by the way...the new male teacher at my school was fat shamed by a parent. The parent found out he used to play soccer in college, and the parent told the student "REALLY? But he is so fat! How couldhe have actually played soccer at that size?" And guess what? that student came in and told other students, and this eventually got back to the teacher.0
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