Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

I'm not going to tell you what to do - but if he were mine he'd be gone.

How can you ever feel good enough for someone who would rather you risked your health by having parts of your body surgically removed rather than love you as you are?

What right does his family have to criticise you when they've only just met you? Are they so perfect that their judgment counts for anything? A real man would have disowned his family before hurting his partner!

Even if you lost the weight would you ever feel good enough for him now or confident in your relationship? I wouldn't! What would be next? I can't love someone with stretch marks?

Wow! I can understand that you must be terribly hurt.

But, you've dodged a bullet. He has admitted to you that he loves you, but his family's opinion of your weight trumps that. You don't want a man who is that weak minded. What would happen when you bought your house together, or had children, or made any other significant life decision? Who knows, his family could be the type of people who would even sneer at your choice in annual flowers or bathroom towels.

You have just, thankfully, gotten rid of this man. You are now free to find a partner who is interested in building the life he wants (not the one his family wants for him) with you.

I know it hurts . . . but having a man who is more committed to the family he was born into than the family he has chosen is even more hurtful, and more long-term.

Get rid of him and then get revenge.

Success and happiness are the best revenge.

Please watch this video "My girlfriend looks good, but she could look better!": http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7QduF69rFoI&feature=youtu.be

And realize that he is SO not worthy of you.

I just read your post OP and no one else's so I may be regurgitating stuff here you have already heard.

If you are even considering allowing yourself to be treated like that, talked to like that, and being made to feel like that...do you think that it will change?

If you were my friend, daughter, relative, or just person on the street and I heard that someone talked to you in that way I would ask you why you are dating a complete douche bag. Yeah - I know guys aren't always the best communicators. Yeah - I know we all say things we wish we could take back. And yeah - I should applaud this douche bag for being honest about his feelings.

My two cents...get away from this guy as quickly as possible and go about the business of finding your love of yourself, your self respect, and never allowing yourself to be talked to or treated like that.

I had a girl tell me once that she thought I was great but she doesn't date overweight guys. I respected her for telling me that in the beginning. I didn't think poorly of her because she didn't start something thinking she could or would change me. I did use her words (and still do though it was many many years ago and I am married to a wonderful girl who loves me...all of me) to fuel my fire. It got me to take a look at myself, take a personal inventory, and find out what I really wanted.

Anyway - you are a gorgeous girl, you seem very intelligent, take a step back and above all love yourself.

Good luck to ya!

say hasta la vista baby!! glad he was truthful now than later!! take care of yourself!

I'm assuming by the title of the thread that one or the other of you decided to end the relationship?

Honestly, he should never have gotten into the relationship expecting you to change who you were for him. And you're never going to forget the hurtful words he has said or the way his family has treated you.

THIS ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

I know a girl who was with this guy and had two kids with him. They weren't married and he wouldn't even talk about getting married until she lost the weight.

Personally, I would have told him where to go, but she lost the weight, he proposed, and now they are living unhappily ever after.

You need to lose the weight for YOU. Not for your mom or your dad or your best friend or your inconsiderate lover. You, my dear, are far better off without this guy. You WILL lose the weight and look fabulous because you want to. And when the time is right the Universe will intervene and you will meet a man worthy of you.

I understand his point of view if he were starting the relationship. I am not attracted to larger women either.

That said its obvious he was swayed by his family and decided to take the harsh, brutal route. This guy doesn't deserve you. You don't need to change for anyone but yourself. Someone who dumps a girl like that isn't a man at all.

^^THIS^^

OMG! What a complete jerk. LEAVE him, get fit & healthy for YOU. You are such a beautiful girl, and don't need to be with someone who doesn't think the same. And "love" is unconditional, so whatever he has for you-im sorry-it is not love. Also, if his opinion of you can change just from what his parents may have told him, then I doubt you want them as your in-laws.

Leave. And find someone who will love you & treat you the way you deserve. There are good men out there, TONS of fish in the sea! No need to stay with one who is a complete douch bag. Hope things go well for you!

From a guys point of view...

He was honest which is good but..

Changing because of him will set you up for failure. You need to do that on your own. And just going by what you said here - "He said he doesn't want to be walking in the mall with me and have people wonder why he is with me." means he cares too much about other people and not you. So my honest opinion is that he changed mentally. You need to separate from him and change yourself physically. Once your happy then if you really still have feelings then revisit the relationship. Negative people are everywhere, don't willingly put yourself around them.

LOVE THIS.. AND ALL TRUE i THINK

Move on

I get where you are coming from on both fronts, my main concern is this: He is obviously HEAVILY influenced by his families opinions, how will this affect where you live? How your children will be raised? What sort of career path you choose? This is a serious warning sign that shoud be deeply considered in all respects including the weight issue.

I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

Or at least, thats what I would do

THIS :laugh:

Seriously though, that guy sounds like a dirtbag. I know you've been with him for a long time, but you absolutely DO NOT deserve to be treated that way. You're a gorgeous girl and it seems like you have a good heart. You need someone who will compliment you, not someone who will try to change you. Change is good, don't get me wrong, but support is always needed in life and I don't think that guy will support you the way you need it.

Two things...blunty honest.

1. He needs to grow a set and understand that by allowing controllable outside influences to impact his life, he will never find tru happiness

2. If it bothers you to the degree you are posting on a forum, let alone a fitness one, make the change you now have fueled by your emotional pain a goal of one that you will not only achieve, but KEEP.

Turn the negative force into a positive. Become more aware, and make the best choices that lead you to happiness.

Remember that you can only control your choices, both in life and love. If your ideals dont match another's, then you shouldn't be together.