Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

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  • kimrox22
    kimrox22 Posts: 1
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    Even though I dont know this guy or what he is about, Personally I think you deserve better than that. It sounds like he is basing your relationship on the way you look and thats not right. You need someone who values your personality, your hopes, your goals, your dreams and a hot body should be a bonus, not a requirement. and another thing, he started to make such a big deal about your weight after his family said something... This probably means hes easily swayed by the opinions of others, like he cant think for himself or something? Im just thinking what if you do lose all this weight for this guy and then say .. his family or friends says something else and he dumps you anyways? see where im coming from..? he seems shallow. And another thing, him mentioning about checking out other "skinny chicks" and not you? honey thats just wrong. If you are going to lose weight at all, do it for you. Do it to make YOU happy. If i was you I would get out of that relationship, he doesnt sound worth it.
  • DebbieMc3
    DebbieMc3 Posts: 289 Member
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    I think he has the right to feel that way but you have the right to be with someone who loves you unconditionally.
    I say let him go and take care of you.
  • hfester
    hfester Posts: 114 Member
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    I think it sounds like you have the opportunity for a lucky escape here tbh,

    Yes. If it were me, I would thank God for this sneak preview of my possible future and move on to someone who loved me unconditionally.

    He has the right to say it, and you have the right to chuck up the deuces as you walk away.

    I think you were onto something when you said that his family would find something else wrong with you. If he isn't man enough to defend you to his mommy, you should take the opportunity to bail.
  • fitforever04
    fitforever04 Posts: 10
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    I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

    Or at least, thats what I would do :)

    I second this!
  • oker673
    oker673 Posts: 139 Member
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    I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

    Or at least, thats what I would do :)

    That's what I would do too. Someone who really loves you won't pressure you to change, but are supportive if you want to change.
  • DeeVanderbles
    DeeVanderbles Posts: 589 Member
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    I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

    Or at least, thats what I would do :)
    ^ This! :wink:

    If he was trying to subtly inspire you to lose weight, he could totally have done it a lot nicer, so I don't think that is the case. I think he's trying to get you angry enough to break up with him because he wants out and is too much of a wuss to do it himself.
  • CSK1981
    CSK1981 Posts: 16 Member
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    Being the sarcastic person i am, i'd tell him...sure i'll lose weight, as soon as you have a body like Brad Pitt in "Fight Club", lol, you say he has a belly himself, well then he's clearly a hypocrite, he has no right to judge your body when his isn't perfect. Plus, the fact that his family can just waltz in and suddenly have him change his opinion of you, shows that he doesn't have a mind of his own, which is just pathetic!! If he really loved you, he wouldn't give those shallow ultimatums and he wouldn't care what others think!!

    Like others have said, kick him to the curb, you clearly deserve better!!
  • chinatbag
    chinatbag Posts: 249 Member
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    This is going to be difficult to hear, but trust me, this is not a sleight on you or anyone in your situation. The other person is a massive douche mobile.

    Lose the weight for yourself, you're going to find that you're going to be more awesome than you've ever been in your entire life. The other person won't matter anymore and you'll come to see how retarded their perspective on people is - in fact, the way you describe him makes me think he's extremely superficial and uncharming.

    I'm not at my goal yet, but when I do hit my goal, I'll have a lot of new things under my belt: an amazing new body, definite life longevity, new clothes, the ability to dance (I'm taking dance classes because hey, it's fun), a new outlook on life, and a definite new life.
  • PaigeAnderson100
    PaigeAnderson100 Posts: 301 Member
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    I am sorry that you are going through this right now. Losing weight doesn't happen overnight, reaching your goal may not even happen in the next year or two. It depends.
    If he isn't "happy" with the way that you look, than he should leave now rather than verbally abusing you like this. He has no right to tell you what to do but, he does have an opinion- unfortunately.
    Is there anyway that you can tell him to shove any future ring up his *kitten* and leave? I would. I would have freaked out, packed my things and left right than.... he sounds shallow and like a complete *kitten* to me. I wouldn't put up with it and I sure as hell wouldn't let him get away with it. I wouldn't want to marry someone who isn't "attracted" (Not his words) to me if he would only be attracted with me as thin.

    Maybe you can be better than me and use those hurtful words as motivation to lose weight but, either way- I wish you the best of luck!!!!! You are beautiful and can do anything that you set your mind to.
  • Slimdownmb
    Slimdownmb Posts: 130 Member
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    What a melon!

    Your beautiful! Sorry but f**k him (to put it nicely).. that isnt love!

    DO NOT CHANGE FOR HIM! however.. change for yourself and if you do when he sees you he will regret the past!...
    Im not changing my lifestyle for men! TBH they arent worth it when they act like that. Im doing it for me and to proove to myself im worth more than looking at myself and not seeing anything attractive.

    Do this for you and use your anger and upset to push yourself to your goals!

    Lets do this!

    Marianne xxx
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    My opinion is that you should lose about 200 pounds for good by never letting him near you ever again. What a POS. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but changing yourself should be for YOU and you alone, never for someone like that.
  • Brooklyn_gal06
    Brooklyn_gal06 Posts: 2
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    sorry I say dump him. he's not worth it. btw!!! I think you are beautiful. and when you reach your goal weight. let it be because you did it for yourself. not for that scum bag or for any other man. if a man loves you. he will love you and take you for who you are. I say move on. there are plenty of men out there. and one day the right man where come along. in the mean time work on yourself, for yourself because you are worth it. XX
  • AggieLu
    AggieLu Posts: 873 Member
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    Look at you. You're stunning now! The guy is a loser. I'm sorry it hurts as much as it does. I have had a little heartbreak over being heavy until I found the one who loves me for who I am, the way I am, whether I wear short shorts or not. Physical attraction is important true, but there has to be a bit more there than that. You're hot enough not to be checked out. Lose the weight for you, your health, future babies (God willing). :) Good luck. Keep your head high, Smile. And remember YOU ALREADY ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.
  • Stronger_Diva
    Stronger_Diva Posts: 149 Member
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    The real question is: are you worth this kind of treatment?

    I'm not. I'm with a man who REALLY loves me for me. He loved me fat and he loves me now.
  • SophieA9083
    SophieA9083 Posts: 63
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    Step one, eat more good food, and less good over all.
    Step 2 drink so much water that you pee every hour like me and break your fear of peeing in public toilets.
    step 3 pick something you love about yourself everyday and enjoy that asset for as long as possible
    step 4 move more (i'm sure your doing this all now anyway)
    step 5, don't give a monkies about that man, he doesn't deserve you, he knew what he has signed up for in the very beginning!
    step 6 enjoy the possibility that your ultimate glory will be strutting yourself past him and making him think "oh my gosh what have I done" when you have that body you dreamed of and a hot bit of stuff checking you out and supporting you in everything you do on your arm!
  • Lysander666
    Lysander666 Posts: 275 Member
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    Sounds fair enough to me.
  • usflygirl55
    usflygirl55 Posts: 277 Member
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    You should lost weight for yourself, for your health, not for him.
    If that is his attitude to you then he isn't worth it. I know you've been with him a long time but he really doesn't sound like a nice guy.
    ^^ This!!!
  • Cherie0622
    Cherie0622 Posts: 87 Member
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    I would thank him for his honesty and for telling you now, before you wasted another 2 years on him. Tell him how that made you feel. Tell him that you may even keep a place for him in your heart. Then, tell him that you're worthy of more than his "love."

    Move on with your life, get heathy because YOU want to. That's the only way the weight will stay off in the end.

    If you don't heed all these responses to leave him, and you do decide to stay, fast forward your life in your mind and think about how sad you'll feel everytime you start to gain a little bit of weight and that nagging voice in the back of your head tells you, "You better lose it, or you won't be perfect for each other anymore."

    I wouldn't want to live like that.

    Either way, it's your choice but keep in mind that you need to always Know your worth, then know that you are worthy of more.
  • Scott2ndGradeTeacher
    Scott2ndGradeTeacher Posts: 147 Member
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    I think the Latin classification for him would be "douchus magnus".

    It sounds like you're better off flying solo for a bit.
  • themelmac
    themelmac Posts: 59 Member
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    Honey, he did you a huge favor. Huge.

    He just showed you that the opinions/feelings/peer pressure of others are more more important to him than the relationship he built with you.

    Marriage is great, but you're going to face challenges that are bigger than extra pounds. If he's going to be a flake about this, he's going to be a flake about other more important stuff.

    Tell him that you had fun, but that it's not going to work out. Go have a good cry with a few friends and pick yourself up and start again.

    If you want to lose weight, do it because YOU want to look good, not because someone else wants you to fit their idea of what "good" looks like.

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