Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

I know exactly where you are coming from. I was 5'5" and over 250 lbs before I realized no one was going to care more about me than I do. I kicked all the people that were holding me back out of my life, and I have lost over hundred lbs since. I think what you really need to consider is how much you love him NOW that you know what he thinks and how he let his family change him. You are the same person he fell in love with, but is he the same person you fell in love with? Would you be happier 6 months from now without him? Do you feel that you deserve someone who won't want you to change for them, or are you willing to change for him? These are all questions you have to answer for yourself. Losing weight and getting healthy is a journey every person has to take for themselves, but it is easier when there is someone helping to motivate you. Would he do that or would he put you down? Is he willing to make the same lifestyles changes you would have to? Good Luck, and I hope you end up happier for your decision.

" No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

Your boyfriend and his family sound like a bunch of judgmental d1ck douches. Losing weight should be something you decide for YOURSELF, not to please someone who will probably always find something to complain about.

You're beautiful, dump the *kitten* and move on, you don't need that crap.

There is no "perfect for him EXCEPT". It really does depend on what you want, and what you are willing to live with to be happy.

Attraction or non-attraction aside, 250 pounds and 5 foot 4 is plain unhealthy, as you already know, and is not setting you up for a long life of health.

This would be a warning flag for me if I were a man. If health and fitness is a priority for him and it isn't for you (but it doesn't sound like it IS for him, he just wants to check you out in a bikini), then there is a valid concern there for what you would be teaching your children together, and the life you will create.

The good news is, no matter what you do with this dufus YOU have the power to change YOU and become the BEST version of yourself, IF YOU WANT IT.

I used to weight 272 pounds at 5 foot 3. And I was miserable and unhappy and unhealthy. And I found something that worked, and I grabbed hold of it and healthily lost 130 pounds, and have been maintaining my weight loss for over a year. So, it CAN be done. Question is, will you do it? For YOU not for HIM.

You are SUPER ADORABLE!!

Get fit for YOU....not someone else. If this guy truly loved you, he would have had this discussion with you about getting healthy (for YOU) and would offer to do it with you.....he'd say he wants to be together for the next 60 years and that means you both have to live healthier lifestyles. He wouldn't talk about being with a girl who can wear short shorts and bikinis. Shallow......BTW, was his name Hal??

Good thing you found out before real commitments were made.

You are a gorgeous girl. My sense is that you are as beautiful on the inside as you are on the outside. Take your time and the right guy will show himself. You deserve a GOOD man!

All the luck and blessings to you, sweetie.

It sounds ridiculous that his opinion of you can be changed by what other's say. This is so even though he says he always felt that way. I would not want to spend my life with someone who felt that way. I have been married for 30 years and am much heavier than I was when we married. I would be hurt if my husband said something like that and I would also feel betrayed that my partner did not love me more than my appearance. Please move on. Lose weight for your health and find someone who appreciates your qualities.

Even though I dont know this guy or what he is about, Personally I think you deserve better than that. It sounds like he is basing your relationship on the way you look and thats not right. You need someone who values your personality, your hopes, your goals, your dreams and a hot body should be a bonus, not a requirement. and another thing, he started to make such a big deal about your weight after his family said something... This probably means hes easily swayed by the opinions of others, like he cant think for himself or something? Im just thinking what if you do lose all this weight for this guy and then say .. his family or friends says something else and he dumps you anyways? see where im coming from..? he seems shallow. And another thing, him mentioning about checking out other "skinny chicks" and not you? honey thats just wrong. If you are going to lose weight at all, do it for you. Do it to make YOU happy. If i was you I would get out of that relationship, he doesnt sound worth it.

I think it sounds like you have the opportunity for a lucky escape here tbh,

Yes. If it were me, I would thank God for this sneak preview of my possible future and move on to someone who loved me unconditionally.

He has the right to say it, and you have the right to chuck up the deuces as you walk away.

I think you were onto something when you said that his family would find something else wrong with you. If he isn't man enough to defend you to his mommy, you should take the opportunity to bail.

I say dump him... and then get super hot and rub it in his face.

Or at least, thats what I would do

That's what I would do too. Someone who really loves you won't pressure you to change, but are supportive if you want to change.

Being the sarcastic person i am, i'd tell him...sure i'll lose weight, as soon as you have a body like Brad Pitt in "Fight Club", lol, you say he has a belly himself, well then he's clearly a hypocrite, he has no right to judge your body when his isn't perfect. Plus, the fact that his family can just waltz in and suddenly have him change his opinion of you, shows that he doesn't have a mind of his own, which is just pathetic!! If he really loved you, he wouldn't give those shallow ultimatums and he wouldn't care what others think!!

Like others have said, kick him to the curb, you clearly deserve better!!

I am sorry that you are going through this right now. Losing weight doesn't happen overnight, reaching your goal may not even happen in the next year or two. It depends.
If he isn't "happy" with the way that you look, than he should leave now rather than verbally abusing you like this. He has no right to tell you what to do but, he does have an opinion- unfortunately.
Is there anyway that you can tell him to shove any future ring up his *kitten* and leave? I would. I would have freaked out, packed my things and left right than.... he sounds shallow and like a complete *kitten* to me. I wouldn't put up with it and I sure as hell wouldn't let him get away with it. I wouldn't want to marry someone who isn't "attracted" (Not his words) to me if he would only be attracted with me as thin.

Maybe you can be better than me and use those hurtful words as motivation to lose weight but, either way- I wish you the best of luck!!!!! You are beautiful and can do anything that you set your mind to.

My opinion is that you should lose about 200 pounds for good by never letting him near you ever again. What a POS. I'm sorry you had to deal with that, but changing yourself should be for YOU and you alone, never for someone like that.

Look at you. You're stunning now! The guy is a loser. I'm sorry it hurts as much as it does. I have had a little heartbreak over being heavy until I found the one who loves me for who I am, the way I am, whether I wear short shorts or not. Physical attraction is important true, but there has to be a bit more there than that. You're hot enough not to be checked out. Lose the weight for you, your health, future babies (God willing). Good luck. Keep your head high, Smile. And remember YOU ALREADY ARE BEAUTIFUL JUST THE WAY YOU ARE.

Step one, eat more good food, and less good over all.
Step 2 drink so much water that you pee every hour like me and break your fear of peeing in public toilets.
step 3 pick something you love about yourself everyday and enjoy that asset for as long as possible
step 4 move more (i'm sure your doing this all now anyway)
step 5, don't give a monkies about that man, he doesn't deserve you, he knew what he has signed up for in the very beginning!
step 6 enjoy the possibility that your ultimate glory will be strutting yourself past him and making him think "oh my gosh what have I done" when you have that body you dreamed of and a hot bit of stuff checking you out and supporting you in everything you do on your arm!

You should lost weight for yourself, for your health, not for him.
If that is his attitude to you then he isn't worth it. I know you've been with him a long time but he really doesn't sound like a nice guy.

^^ This!!!

I think the Latin classification for him would be "douchus magnus".

It sounds like you're better off flying solo for a bit.