The Master Cleanse

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124

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  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    Okay, just so I'm clear as to how this all works-

    Step 1: Make a post

    Step 2: Insist we misunderstood you

    Step 3: Make a couple of defensive passive-aggressive comments

    Step 4: Pretend not to be butthurt

    And if I follow this I will feel cleansed? :huh:

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  • magerum
    magerum Posts: 12,589 Member
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    The only cleanse you need!

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  • Jenniferlynnmcbee
    Jenniferlynnmcbee Posts: 6
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    I've done the Master Cleanse and the only issue with it is that is messes up your metabolism, so that it is really hard to keep weight off, or to lose it. I agree with the post that recommends 1 ingredient food and lots of water. An organic, raw diet would be the better way to go in my opinion. : )
  • SRH7
    SRH7 Posts: 2,037 Member
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    Okay, just so I'm clear as to how this all works-

    Step 1: Make a post

    Step 2: Insist we misunderstood you

    Step 3: Make a couple of defensive passive-aggressive comments

    Step 4: Pretend not to be butthurt

    And if I follow this I will feel cleansed? :huh:

    QFT
  • twoss9112
    twoss9112 Posts: 162 Member
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    Let's jump online and verbally attack someone for sport because I'm too chicken S**t to do it to someones face. It's much easier making fun of someone online than in person.

    Completely untrue. I am more than willing to tell someone right in person that lemon pepper syrup juice is a waste of time and a bad health idea. Keep in mind, you ** ASKED ** for opinions. Clearly you should edit your post to read "please give opinions that agree with me and tell me its a good idea," since that was what you wanted.

    It was easier for us to do it online because we don't know you and having us fly to where ever you are to give you our opinions in person is not only an unwise use of time, but financially unreasonable. Since you made yourself available online, it was much more effective to use said online communiqué as a means to reply.

    By which I mean, you brought it up and you specifically asked for opinions. And as someone else pointed out, no one attacked you. You just don't like it that people were honest in their opinions of this type of practive and that you didn't have a cheerleading section encouraging you to reply on magic juice to clean out your pooper.

    Big girl pants. Put them on and deal with the fact that people disagree on various life topics.
  • IIISpartacusIII
    IIISpartacusIII Posts: 252 Member
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    I never really got the point of a "cleanse" since even if you theoretically get rid of most of the "toxins" in your body, the day after they're back in right? What counts as a toxin anywho? Isn't the smog filled air full of toxins? Can someone give a very specific definition of the word "toxin"? If not then how do you know you've gotten rid of them when you haven't identified them to begin with?
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    You're welcome everyone. I'm glad I could be of assistance for your overly sarcastic remarks which clearly stems from pent up frustration or lack of a sexual partner. (or just low self-esteem) Whichever one I don't care. I know........ life can be so hard on us. Let's jump online and verbally attack someone for sport because I'm too chicken S**t to do it to someones face. It's much easier making fun of someone online than in person.


    This entire thread was the highlight of my day. From the bottom of my heart or colon...THANK YOU.......not only for being absolutely ridiculous, but for the entertainment. Especially those of you that posted visuals. The visuals were AWESOME. (clapping hands)

    Sincerely,

    I can be a douche bag too!

    I think you are missing the point of the doucheyness. It's not like anyone woke up this morning and said, Hmm... Who's life could I ruin? Let's go cruise the forums. OK the thought may have crossed my mind, but I pushed it back and decided to be a responsible netizen. Personally, No problem with esteem here. None with lack of sex either. Actually, the only real personal character attack I have seen on this thread is the one I am replying to.

    All I have seen are people who have attacked your dangerous idea. Starvation is not healthy. They saw (yet another) person posting a dangerous thing, and expressed some ideas that are counter to what you were propsing to do. I guess there were a couple of people who called you on posting asking what people thought, and then totally dismissing their thoughts that you actually solicited. I have to ask the same thing. Why even post asking for thoughts if you didnt' want to listen. Just go read books about your cleanse instead. If you were truly soliciting facts and opinions, you wouldn't dismiss them and fight against them.

    I think what you are taking as personal attacks here are people expressing frustration at having to see yet again, a dangerous idea being propogated in the forums. This is a very cyclic discussion, and the information should be out there. Sometimes, it doesn't survive long enough for anyone to discuss it because it gets nuked by the moderators for violation of the section promoting unhealthy diets ot lifestyles. If the mods would just lock and not delete, maybe people wouldn't have to keep posting their cleanse ideas, and people who have been on MFP for more than a week, could stop having to jump in to protect the lurkers and noobs from unhealthy diets by refuting the claims with studies that show starvation = bad. (You would think this might be well-established by now).
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I didn't get either, I am a medical student

    and why are some of you people so rude, why can't we have some good positive support without being torn apart here?

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    Please don't say that
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I didn't get either, I am a medical student

    and why are some of you people so rude, why can't we have some good positive support without being torn apart here?
    That only makes it worse that you would be supporting cleanses.

    Nah. SHe's a student. She may be first year, and she may not know anything yet. Just because they are a student doesn't mean they have any knowledge of anything. Wait until she finishes her residency if she gets that far.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    So wait... yogurt won't knock out the yeast issues... but a magic lemonade will?? Mind... blown. Poof.

    Duh. Lemonade is magic. It's also administered via enema.

    ETA: Lemonade 250ml PR BID.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    Okay, just so I'm clear as to how this all works-

    Step 1: Make a post

    Step 2: Insist we misunderstood you

    Step 3: Make a couple of defensive passive-aggressive comments

    Step 4: Pretend not to be butthurt

    And if I follow this I will feel cleansed? :huh:

    You forgot the part where you attack everyone else who disputed your post, and resort to name calling and personal attacks.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
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    I never really got the point of a "cleanse" since even if you theoretically get rid of most of the "toxins" in your body, the day after they're back in right? What counts as a toxin anywho? Isn't the smog filled air full of toxins? Can someone give a very specific definition of the word "toxin"? If not then how do you know you've gotten rid of them when you haven't identified them to begin with?

    Stop using logic. These are the forums.
  • SanteMulberry
    SanteMulberry Posts: 3,202 Member
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    A person with healthy organs of elimination (liver, kidneys, intestines, skin, etc.) does not need to do anything to "detox" other than eating well, getting lots of pure water and sweating a little. Those organs will be quite happy to do their jobs under those conditions. Some of the chemical "cleanses" that are sold can be downright dangerous. I had a friend who was a bit of a drinker (read functional alcoholic) and she would go on a bender and then go on one of those types of cleanses. Not sure it if was the booze or the cleanse but she ended up with a bright, cherry-red nose, after one of her cleanses. I told her that I was pretty sure that side-effect could NOT be a good thing. She ended up in liver failure.
  • KyliAnne26
    KyliAnne26 Posts: 209 Member
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    These people give you a hard time because they've probably responded to this question a lot. I'm new to MFP, however, so I'll try and take my own approach to your OP. My undergraduate degree is in Health Education and Promotion. I'm not a doctor, but I know that the Master Cleanse is not the best way to go about 'cleansing' your body.

    There are several issues that arise when discussing the science behind, and the credibility of the creator of 'The Master Cleanse'. First of all, there is absolutely no credible research (studies done by doctors/scientists, and reviewed and accepted by doctors/scientists) that the Master Cleanse does anything different than simply drinking only water for an extended period of time, other than provide you with sugar that your body can burn (through the syrup). The lemon does not 'detox', and the cayenne pepper definitely does not 'boost your metabolism'. Secondly, this fad was created by Stanley Burroughs, who also believed he could cure peoples cancer by having them drink the lemonade and stare at colorful lights for hours on end. He eventually was arrested and charged for murder, practicing without a license, and being, well... just sort of crazy. The Master cleanse is basically starving yourself of nutrients and really screwing with your metabolism; hence the side effects of headaches, fatigue, diarrhea, etc... . It does not 'reset' your system in any way shape or form, and actually the sugar in the maple syrup is probably more harmful to your system and 'toxify-ing' than a simple fast or raw/healthy diet would be.

    There IS a lot of science, however, that shows that eating high amounts of fiber (organic vegetables, fruits, beans, and greens) not only cleanses your digestive system and keeps it healthy, but also provides nutrients that your system needs to make your other bodily systems clean and healthy too; liver, kidneys, skin, eyes, etc... ! This is why people juice-fast (juicing real vegetables and fruits), or eat only raw fruits and veggies for a few days.

    People here aren't trying to bash you, or make you mad (well, maybe some of them are), but really most of us are on this site to help one another and help demystify weight loss for everyone who's ready for a lifestyle change.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    Is irritability a side effect?
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
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    Try the Guinness cleanse, it is much tastier and more fun. Grab some friends and hit the pub. Drink as many pints of Guinness you can handle. Wake up, get to the bathroom, and voila! You'll be totally cleaned out.
  • 1223345
    1223345 Posts: 1,386 Member
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    Cleanses really only clean out the colon. In order to "cleanse", ":detox", or "flush" out the organs, what it really takes is a whole foods only diet. Actually, it is a lifestyle that must be adhered to. It takes time to rid the body of contaminants that we are exposed to daily. Even a diet of strictly organic fruits and vegetables is not contaminant free, so actually the body will always be contaminated on some level. There are some people who think that the liver and kidneys clean out all the junk, but this is incorrect. Some pesticides and chemicals are stored in the bodies fat supply, that is why burning fat would be the only way to get rid of the stuff, and again, it is doubtful this removal would be complete. Here is a link to a cleanse that actually works: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/945844-best-cleanse-ever-you-have-to-try-this?hl=cleanse
  • pbandz
    pbandz Posts: 128 Member
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    haha poop costs nothing but eating your fiber ^.^
  • iLoveMyAR15
    iLoveMyAR15 Posts: 122 Member
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    I did this years ago and I lost 4 pounds in a couple days. Problem is i was soooooooooo hungry and couldnt take it anymore. I ended up eating an entire bag of Goldfish crackers in like 20 minutes. It was a big waste of time and money
  • gsmithnp
    gsmithnp Posts: 139 Member
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    ... I have gastic issues and do the cleanse once per year by order of my gastro doctor...

    I suppose if one does a cleanse under the supervision and instruction of a doctor, with specific instructions and appropriate monitoring, it could be of benefit. I'm also going to assume that your "cleanse" is limited to a day or two, not long-term.

    The fact is, cleanses of any type (done for any purpose) do have risks. These can include relatively minor problems such as diarrhea (duh!), headaches, irritability, and stomach upset (again, duh!). However a person is also at risk for kidney and/or liver failure, dehydration, electrolyte imbalances (which can in turn lead to seizures, heart rhythm abnormalities, and heart failure), metabolism alterations, and death. I had a patient who took ONE DOSE of a cleanse and went into renal failure. If she had been another hour getting to the hospital she would have died.

    If you are hell bent on doing this, OP, I would suggest scheduling a visit with your doctor first and getting some bloodwork done to make sure everything is working properly to begin with. Then, proceed very carefully and be fully aware of not only potential benefits, but the risks as well. Limit your cleanse to one to two days at the most, and STOP IMMEDIATELY and SEEK MEDICAL ATTENTION for any side effects.

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