thoughts about the children of overweight parents

Really interesting post and a lot of interesting responses.

I think a huge issue that nobody has yet dealt with is what you, as a parent, CAN'T control- your child's friend's eating habits.

In my house, we never had "brand-name" snacks. We always had fresh fruits and veggies (my dad worked for a wholesale produce company and brought stuff home) but I never really wanted to eat that stuff because it was always there. Having things around all the time makes it really easy to take advantage of it and not want to eat it anymore. For "bad" snacks, we had fake chips and fake cookies and fake everything. So let me tell you, when I went over my next door neighbor's house, I would easily eat an entire bag of Doritos in one sitting with my best friend. I LOVED the real stuff and couldn't get enough of it, so when I was in a situation where I could eat it, I would gorge myself.

For me, my parents weren't teaching me about eating healthy and why it mattered, so that wasn't the issue. The reason we didn't have the "good" stuff was because we couldn't afford it. But I think that your child has to have some sort of understanding of these things, otherwise they will do what I did and eat everything you don't have in the house when they are at a friends. I think education is key.

I'd also be wary of what you do to try and get a child to eat their veggies. For example, my dad would put tons of butter on veggies so we'd eat it, or he'd put velveeta on broccoli, things like that. Sure, we ate the veggies, but at what cost? With all the other added crap, we probably would have been better off not eating it at all!

Another issue with kids today is their level of activity, in many cases, the lack thereof. I babysit a lot, and all these kids want to do is sit in front of the tv or the computer or play video games. When I was a kid, we asked "can I go outside and play?" not "can I watch tv?" We never had a gaming console and didn't have a computer for a long time, and once we had one, the internet was slow and not really very useful and we very rarely were allowed to buy games for it (and when we did, they were educational, like Oregon Trail and Titanic!). I don't really know how to go back to that time where going outside was the best thing in the world, but it needs to be done. I practically have to force the kids I babysit to come outside and play. One of them has a beautiful in-ground pool that they never want to swim in and both families I sit for have big yards (which is unheard of in LA!) and yet they don't want to use them. I try to convince them to come play volleyball or basketball or go on the swing-set, and it is like I am pulling teeth!

In the past, we didn't have to worry so much about what kids ate because they were so active it didn't matter. Now, everything is an issue. I think getting the kids outside to play would be even more helpful in controlling their weight than eating, even though they do still need to learn how to eat right so they don't fall into the problems that many of us did.

I have a 20 month old and he's actually a little underweight for his height already. He is in the picky stage, where he likes fish sticks and cheese. Thank g-d he also LOVES vegetables and fruit.

I never have desserts or junk in the house. I never bake. They are outside treats, and also, my son is allergic to eggs, so he can't have most baked goods.

I have trained him since he started solids, not to like sugary things by not giving them to him. If I open a bar of 72% dark chocolate, that' a different story.

My rule- Big breakfast of oatmeal made with milk and pureed fruit, lunch must include a vegetable and dairy and whole wheat, snack is either dry cereal or apple sauce and a few rice cracker or a brown rice cake, and dinner is a protein, pureed vegetable and a whole grain. Dessert is either fresh fruit or raisins. If he gets an additional cookie, he's still not doing too bad!

I just wanted to add-

I really believe that if a child has a healthy balanced diet, then there is no reason to restrict them. I was always heavy because of the desserts, not the junk. I never ate twizzlers even, but when my mom had a chocolate cake I would be out of control. Also, I think the more you make an 'issue' out of food, the more problems there will be in the future. Food is something to enjoy, but also sustenance and it shouldn't be stressed over. If you have a lot of produce, whole grains, dairy, fish and poultry, I really don't see any reason why a normal active child should be restricted when it comes to food.

QUOTE: "Actually eggs are grouped in with the Meat and Alternatives group (or Meat and Beans in the USA), not dairy."

I remember seeing pictures of the dairy with eggs -- maybe that's an old picture, maybe it wasn't the food pyramid. You'd be surprised at how many Americans thinks that eggs are part of the dairy group. We constantly have wait staff trying to sort out what our child could have off the menu and make sure to tell us that eggs are or are not in a certain dish. We gently remind them that dairy and eggs come from different animals. They are usually quite surprised. Maybe it's not because of anything the food pyramid has done, maybe it's just the fact that most people have absolutely no connection to where their food comes from. I've had parents get upset that my kids have told their kids what animal a certain kind of meat comes from. I believe if your going to eat meat you need to come to terms that the animal lost its life for your sustenance. Reverence and respect should follow. I know not everyone agrees, but that's what I teach my kids.

Both of my parents are overweight. I don't remember much of my eating habits as a kid but I do recall it was unhealthy....lots of cheeseburgers, mac and cheese, ice cream, pizza etc., not a whole lot of fruits, vegetables, or whole grains. My mom NEVER said 'no' to me when I asked for food. My dad wasn't around too much but when he was, he was eating and sitting on the couch. I never learned healthy habits, however, I knew that my lifestyle was wrong and I was overweight. I remember being really ashamed in the 6th grade when I found out that in order to be on the football team you had to be a minimum of 150 lbs. I very clearly remembered that I was about 160 lbs at the time and I was SO embarrased about how I was able to be on the football team, even though I was a girl in middle school. Also, I was really badly teased for most of my childhood because of my weight.

Though I find it interesting, my parents did not teach me or tell me that I should be active and eat well -- I had to find that out myself and it's something I'm going to stick with. Meanwhile, I have friends whose parents strictly limited their food and made them be active when they were younger....they were VERY skinny and then when they got to college, they were the ones who gained the freshman fifteen! Meanwhile I have lost about 10 lbs from the beginning of my freshman year.

Me personally- My kids eat as they wish but aren't allowed to go buck wild they have full access to the kitchen and our "junk food" cabinet. However my girls also eat vegetables, play sports, are always outside playing.

I didn't have an issue with my weight until I got older and loss myself for 3 years. I was an active kid.

My kids are ridiculously active I always send them outside to play. In my opinion kids don't play anymore all they do is sit in front of the tv, computer, and video games that's why I feel obesity rate is high.

As a child myself I played outside until the street lights came on. Drive around now and you don't see many kids outside that to me is sad. Years ago there was a few overweight children in a class and the majority was kids in healthy range- now the tables have turned more overweight less healthy range. People like to blame the schools but it's not there fault it's parents fault children only have lunch at school and sometimes breakfast and it's not a buffet. Too much processed food. I cook for my kids every night. Being too busy is just an excuse to me They have crock pots and it takes 30 minutes to make a meal if that. My kids teachers always commend me and my husband that we still sit down at the table to have dinner. I am very busy and we make it work. Fast Food isn't an all the time thing and is limited to Chik-Fil-a. Don't get me wrong we eat pizza and go out to restaurants for our Date night with the kids.

It's all about moderation I tell my kids too much of something isn't a good thing. Again this is just us!

Since this thread is about kids and eating I want to share something that happened at my house last night. My husband was at his golf league and the kids and I were on our own for dinner. I decided to have a plate of healthy whole food and not cook. So, we had blueberries, cherries, cheese, flax meal bread, avacados and smoked salmon. This past spring one of my uncles smoked a salmon for a family event. My youngest LOVED it. I hadn't thought about that in a while, but decided last weekend to buy some when I was grocery shopping. My oldest, who doesn't try new food -- ever, was taken in by how excited the little one was to again have smoked salmon. He was even willing to try some avacado to get a chance to eat some of that smoked salmon.

After Dad got home and they played outside for a while they wanted a snack. The only thing they were willing to have is smoked salmon. They finished what was left. My husband just shook his head, I think we have the only kids in the neighborhood with such a palate. Sometimes eating healthy can be really easy with kids.

QUOTE: "Actually eggs are grouped in with the Meat and Alternatives group (or Meat and Beans in the USA), not dairy."

I remember seeing pictures of the dairy with eggs -- maybe that's an old picture, maybe it wasn't the food pyramid. You'd be surprised at how many Americans thinks that eggs are part of the dairy group. We constantly have wait staff trying to sort out what our child could have off the menu and make sure to tell us that eggs are or are not in a certain dish. We gently remind them that dairy and eggs come from different animals. They are usually quite surprised. Maybe it's not because of anything the food pyramid has done, maybe it's just the fact that most people have absolutely no connection to where their food comes from. I've had parents get upset that my kids have told their kids what animal a certain kind of meat comes from. I believe if your going to eat meat you need to come to terms that the animal lost its life for your sustenance. Reverence and respect should follow. I know not everyone agrees, but that's what I teach my kids.

Yeah I believe (but could be wrong) that eggs used to be with dairy products, but now they are with meat. In other countries, they have different named food groups, and eggs and legumes are some of the things that get moved around the most