I get no respect! Can't people just be happy for you?!

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glamroxjax
glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
in Motivation and Support
I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.
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Replies

  • evesthatgirl
    evesthatgirl Posts: 8 Member
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    I think part of it is unconscious jealousy. But it is what it is. When I was in HS and lost a lot of weight, people where telling me I was too skinny. Then I gained weight and I was too fat lol. I wasn't even that skinny, i was still thick. You look great in your pictures, don't let anyone's dumb opinions tear you down!
  • glamroxjax
    glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
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    :)
  • MaliceWells
    MaliceWells Posts: 8
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    I feel like a lot of people would like to be that rigorous when it comes to food, but they can't stop themselves, so it's easier to question your choices. I'm in the same situation with a part of my family. They're too lazy to cook from fresh, too lazy to exercise and when we talk about food, they're blaming companies but never following any of my tips to eat healthier.

    I'm trying to stay as far as I can from those people because they're not supporting me in any way and not even listening. Spending time with negative people is just a huge loss of time.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    I'm not a fly on the wall nor can I see the dynamics between you and your friends, but if you are doing this for you why do you need the kudos from your friends? How often do you talk about fitness and diet to them? Could they be a bit burned out by it?
  • glamroxjax
    glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
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    It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.
  • glamroxjax
    glamroxjax Posts: 87 Member
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    I feel like a lot of people would like to be that rigorous when it comes to food, but they can't stop themselves, so it's easier to question your choices. I'm in the same situation with a part of my family. They're too lazy to cook from fresh, too lazy to exercise and when we talk about food, they're blaming companies but never following any of my tips to eat healthier.

    I'm trying to stay as far as I can from those people because they're not supporting me in any way and not even listening. Spending time with negative people is just a huge loss of time.

    and yes, this. lol I grew up unhealthy and had to teach myself all this (with the help of my former Marine hubby) but it's been extremely difficult and I LOVE FOOD! I just chose to NOT die young and I want to inspire others to do the same. I've been told it's inspiring, never been told I'm obnoxious, but I guess who would say that?
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
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    Do you 'only' talk about this and nothing else? I mean, I have a Vegan friend and it's ALL she talks about. It just gets really boring after a while. If this isn't what the problem is then I don't know, my mates are all pretty supportive of my fitness goals but we do talk about other stuff too...so...
  • Cyclink
    Cyclink Posts: 517 Member
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    This is why most of my friends are other athletes. I tell them about an accomplishment and they know it's a stepping stone, so they ask "what's the next goal?"
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    When my friends aren't interested in a conversation topic, I stop bringing it up with them. Maybe you could try that?
  • dorasworld
    dorasworld Posts: 34 Member
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    HA!I just posted something very similar to this on my own wall!!

    Ever since Ive lost 11 lbs so far EVERYONE & THEIR MOMMA has been telling me "Wow youre tooo thin now! Youre going to fly away! you probably aren't eating right! you this you that!!!"

    It gets very irritating & old so I just ughh try to just smile and say "well thanks youre great yourself!" NOT!!! lol...:bigsmile:
  • SnicciFit
    SnicciFit Posts: 967 Member
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    I can relate. People think I am eating healthy and working out to lose more weight (or get "skinnier"). Um... no. How about to maintain my weight loss, get/stay healthy, get stronger, be more athletic...etc. People think they would be "unhappy" if they had to give up their cupcakes and candy (they won't be and they wouldn't have to totally give that stuff up). They just. don't. get. it.
  • jessilyn76
    jessilyn76 Posts: 532 Member
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    Are you channeling Rodney Dangerfield??!!??:laugh:
  • fayeonherway
    fayeonherway Posts: 204
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    Do you 'only' talk about this and nothing else? I mean, I have a Vegan friend and it's ALL she talks about. It just gets really boring after a while. If this isn't what the problem is then I don't know, my mates are all pretty supportive of my fitness goals but we do talk about other stuff too...so...

    This.

    So much of this.
  • dough21
    dough21 Posts: 216 Member
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    I can't stand it when I'm told you look good now, You really don't need to lose any more! While it may or may not be a compliment it makes me mad. I just smile and say thank you and hope it's not brought up again.
  • Nerdybreisawesome
    Nerdybreisawesome Posts: 359 Member
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    I can't say all my friends are guilty of this because I do have a very awesome group of fitness friends, but why can't people just be supportive. They ignore any convo about your accomplishments, milestones etc and even tell you to eat a cheeseburger! I'm not "skinny" or even remotely close to being in my goal bady fat %! So frustrating. I have my cheat days, but eat pretty strict paleo 90% of the time. I am always trying to challenge myself physically (just started the SealFit 5 week challenge) but aside from my super hardcore meat head friends, no one seems to understand I'm not the one with the problem! This is def a lifestyle, and it sucks that a lot of people can't be supportive of THIS kind of lifestyle choice either. I pick up my straw and suck it up, but I know I'm not the only one.

    No matter what you do, people will act in a way we don't like. Whether it's about weight loss, getting a new job etc. The only thing we can do is just be happy with ourselves and if needed, only stick with those that are willing to support us.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    It is totally for me, but at the same time I hope to inspire others to just live healthy. It doesn't have to be what I'm doing, but I share a lot of my stuff via FB (I don't do before and after pictures because I'm trying to maintain a focus on strength not size) but people can be downright rude! I mean jeez, most of the time people just ignore it and that is fine, but don't try and convince me I'm doing something wrong. That's basically my rant. I don't need acknowledgement necessarily, but they are all over me if I post something political or religious...this is why I deleted most everything though.

    Haha I post stuff on facebook and most of the time people don't care. I don't care if they don't care. I post what I want. I title accomplishments "brag post:" some people like it, most ignore it. Oh well. I'm going to post on facebook right now that I did a chin-up. "Brag post: I know you don't give a ****, but I'm going to tell you anyway, I just did a chin-up and held it for a while"

    I hate when people post photos of friggin' fetus' or bible verses or nothing but quotes, so I will throw all my health crap at them whether they like it or not. lol
  • irishblonde2011
    irishblonde2011 Posts: 618 Member
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    Maybe they are genuinely not interested? Some people just don't get it. Take people that have kids and people that don't now I love my friends and their kids but am I REALLY interested about hearing every single detail of what their kids did 100 times over?
    It's ok to be at different stages in your life. I understand you want to inspire them but it won't happen until they are ready. :smile:
    Keep doing what you are doing and be ready to help them out when they ask for it.

    Good luck.
  • fayeonherway
    fayeonherway Posts: 204
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    This is why most of my friends are other athletes. I tell them about an accomplishment and they know it's a stepping stone, so they ask "what's the next goal?"

    I hang out with 1 triathlete, 1 rock climber, 1 personal trainer and 3 runners. Yet we are still able to maintain great friendships and have conversations about so many varied topics. These are the people I consider my 'if I ever hit rock bottom who will be there' friends. I am no where near their level of fitness and I am currently over weight. We don't spend our entire friendship discussing their next race/climb/how heavy they lift. We do talk about those things because it is an important part of them, but it isn't the only thing they got going for them.
  • Crystaleyed
    Crystaleyed Posts: 229 Member
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    You are definitely not the only one.
    I have had friends of mine who, when I have announced that I cannot have chocolate because I am trying to eat healthier have proceeded to wave a chocolate bar in my face for five minutes, thinking I will succumb to temptation. It's a nightmare, especially in a society that is constantly telling women to look a certain way and be healthy, but then doesn't support those who want to be healthy ... ughh it really bugs me.
  • LisaGNV
    LisaGNV Posts: 159 Member
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    I totally get it. I was obese for a very long time (200+ lbs) and only after I dropped 85 lbs did anyone ever voice any "concerns" over my weight. The cheeseburger comment was used towards me plenty. What irritated me the most though was that not once when I was heavy did anyone ever voice a concern then. No one dared to say "yanno...you're getting too big, you could stand to put the cheeseburgers down." But they often felt justified to be gravely concerned that I was getting too small. Whatever...

    I do try and tailor my social media interactions to whatever platform I'm using. Health & nutrition posts go here, training & exercise items post to DailyMile.com, brain drain/drivel on Twitter & pictures of my cat on FB. Ok...that was somewhat a joke, but I think you get what I mean.

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