body image issues! help :(

Nutella91
Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
in Motivation and Support
Have you ever asked yourself why do you want have the perfect weight/size? Sure, we are bombarded with perfect celebrity pictures all the time, and we would like ourselves to look perfect too. But at what cost? I mean, they are pretty much paid to look like that, and most of us have more things to worry about than just looks. But i feel this whole dieting thing has took over my life!
I'm starting to think i have serious body image issues.

Starting last September, I was a bit of a control freak, and i got my body to look like this:

165952_616751141674992_632025032_n.jpg

I ate 1500 calories, and started lifting three times a week. I'd almost never let myself eat junk food and not to mention almost never eating out with my friends, simply because it's impossible to track. I'm a college student, my social life also suffered because of my diet. Over winter my binge eating got out of control and i gained some weight. Now I look fine, but not as thin and fit as before. But what i really want is to just stop worrying, and it's easier said than done.

For example, my friend invites me to her place for dinner, i'd find an excuse to not eat and just have coffee or something. Or my roommates ordering pizzas all the time and i never let myself have any. Which is so sad because i love pizza. And even when i eat junk i can't escape the guilty feeling.

And now all of this has become a huge issue for me, taking over every aspect of my life, it feels like fitness and healthy eating is controlling me, and not the other way around.
Has any of you ever had these issues? If so, what can i do to make myself just relax and start living and not worry about my body all the time?
«1

Replies

  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    Celebrity pictures are photoshoped a lot. I tell myself that all the time, but they still get to me sometimes.
    Beach photos of them tell the truth and many are far from perfect, so why should we try so hard?

    You are beautiful in that photo and I'm sure you're still as beautiful with a few extra pounds.
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    boo gimme some support, people :(
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    also my other friend kinda got into instagram, fitspo and thinspo world, and she is constantly comparing herself to those fit people! this will sound wrong but sometimes i wish it didn't exist.
  • casy84
    casy84 Posts: 290 Member
    also my other friend kinda got into instagram, fitspo and thinspo world, and she is constantly comparing herself to those fit people! this will sound wrong but sometimes i wish it didn't exist.

    Those things are evil, they feed on self esteem!
  • 2013sk
    2013sk Posts: 1,318 Member
    I know what you mean, its so easy to get obsessed with fitness, the scales and healthy eating!!!! And not go out with mates, as I find half my mates try and get me to eat rubbish.... Oh go on, have that, it wont hurt you. Then the next day you feel like you have to do a massive work out as you've over eaten the night before?

    Or at the moment I feel like if I am lunching with girlfriends, I literally need to watch what I am having in the morning, as don't want a massive brekkie??? I know, its sooo annoying babes!!

    We do need to live life, and enjoy ourselves, as we only live once

    Babes you have an amazing figure, you should get out there and enjoy yourself, And not hours in the gym or counting calories

    Your only young once!!! : )
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    thank you so much. i feel that wanting to be perfect and wanting to not want to be perfect at the same time is a huge problem for me, if that makes any sense.
    and my life has pretty much become gym and calories.
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
    Your profile picture is stunning. You are clearly a gorgeous lady and I think you need to realise that.
    Sometimes it's just about making the best of what you've got rather than trying to be something you're not. No one is perfect, not even celebs. A quick google and I bet you'll find a ton of images of them at home, no make up, out shopping hair a mess and sweating, bikini pics showing off some flabby bits ect.
    They're paid to look good and are nearly always photo shopped anyhow.

    You only get one life, you live just once - you look fine, why waste your life obsessing about other people? It's wasting valuable living time of your own! & Sometimes, sad to say, friends don't last forever and one day you may all go your separate ways and by then it's just the memories that count!

    Eat the damn pizza & enjoy a laugh with your friends. Lifes to short to wanna be anyone but yourself.

    I hope you can find a way to manage it soon! :)
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    thanks, that's so sweet. i feel that i can only talk about this on this website, because it's all about the body and body image. i try not to bother people in my life with this all the time because it might seem like i'm hoping to get attention.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    See your stunning!
  • btleluv64
    btleluv64 Posts: 8
    i know exactly how you feel, I have very poor self esteem, and all my thoughts seem to revolve around what i look like, and how if i eat one piece of chocolate i feel like ive gained 40 lbs lol Im constantly looking in mirrors and just staring at my body criticizing it... and its just so sad that we do this to ourselves..... life isnt about image, its about living a happy healthy life with as many beautiful experiences, and loved ones that we can get. I can telly you right now that you are gorgeous and have NOTHING to be self conscience about! you have a very nice figure, and im sure that everyone on this planet would agree! try to focus on having some fun and living in the moment, try to not think about image, i know its so hard, but it feels so good when you can separate yourself from those thoughts for a while and actually live!
    Good luck! :)
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    thanks girl! i'm totally the same about eating piece of chocolate and thinking i gained 40 pounds, and you're absolutely right, it is sad that we can do that to ourselves.
    i'm sure when i'm 80 i'll not remember counting calories and having a nice body as my happiest memory.
  • btleluv64
    btleluv64 Posts: 8
    exactly! We are going to be so disappointed that we wasted do much time being upset with how we looked, and then we're going to see pictures of ourselves when we were younger and think about how crazy we are to be so obsessed with image when we arnt even fat! Its just easier said then done i guess... but just keep reminding yourself how beautiful life can be, and try to realize you are beautiful! :)
  • Streamlinedforlife
    Streamlinedforlife Posts: 39
    you look great! i wish i had your body. dont gain weight and don't lose any either. I wish i was as thin as you!
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
    Damn right, when you're 80 you will just be glad you managed to get to 80!

    Life is short, think how quickly time actually goes and wonder if it's worth second guessing everything you do or want to do!
    If we all thought about everything constantly we would never get no where.

    If your diet is otherwise healthy, and you're well in yourself a couple meals out, or slices of pizza aren't gonna kill you.

    You know you want too really.

    & sorry ladies, but, how can you only have 1 piece of chocolate!?? Is that some kind of magic? When I start, I can't stop!
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    thank you! for me it's either bingeing or controlling every calorie. i still have to learn how to be in maintenance mode like a normal person.
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member

    & sorry ladies, but, how can you only have 1 piece of chocolate!?? Is that some kind of magic? When I start, I can't stop!

    it's that controlling evil little part of me that makes me stop. it usually triggers the binges, so yeah.
  • alyssa92982
    alyssa92982 Posts: 1,093 Member
    I totally compare certain aspects of my body to celebrities etc. know what u mean. I think it's society in general doesn't help us :(
  • btleluv64
    btleluv64 Posts: 8

    & sorry ladies, but, how can you only have 1 piece of chocolate!?? Is that some kind of magic? When I start, I can't stop!

    lol Yes its a magical trait that i picked up a couple years back while i was back packing through Europe and met a village of gypsies who showed me their ways of moderation.
  • twelfty
    twelfty Posts: 576 Member
    you're hot Nat, you have nothing to worry about, in England or the US you'd be fending off offers for dates and romances etc lol :flowerforyou:
  • Nutella91
    Nutella91 Posts: 624 Member
    wow thanks. but it's really not about a guy. i think i have to overcome this by myself :ohwell:
  • jjscholar
    jjscholar Posts: 413 Member
    I don't blame you... I had a melt down the other night in front of a couple of my friends because I weighed in at 180.4 lbs that morning and I am a 6 ft tall male... I almost wanted to call my primary care doctor and tell him I wanted to be put on prescription diet pills or buy over the counter diet pill, or buy over the counter water pills, or even buy laxatives ...

    I find my self wishing that I could have a BMI of only 18 which for me translates into a body weight of less than 134 lbs... I have this distorted view that if I were really thin more women would want to go out with me... I know that is messed up... BTW I am not glorifying extreme thinness...

    On the other hand, I try to fight my dark tendencies... The lowest I have weighed is about 171 lbs... The only thing that I can say is that you may need to seek professional help...
  • gel91
    gel91 Posts: 309
    Do you think that if you had a slice of pizza you would binge? Or would 1 piece be enough to satisfy your cravings?

    It's not nice to think maybe you won't ever be able to enjoy the bad food ever again because of bingeing. You see I try not to limit myself because when I do eventually give in and let myself get say a cake, I won't have a slice but the whole thing, literally! So I find it better to eat it more little and often.
    Because if I know I'm getting chocolate today but then not again for weeks, I'll want to make the most of it, where as if I had to wait a few days it's not so bad to be good.


    & Jjscholar, you look like you are a healthy weight too me!!
  • 17forbes
    17forbes Posts: 33 Member
    I believe that MFP is not just about your weight or how you look but your fitness level and how that makes you feel.
    Your mind and heart are very important organs that need proper nutrition and exercise to help them function at its best, I think your focus should go on a healthy heart and mind not on how good you look in the mirror the rest will follow.
    Good luck and keep safe.
    talk to your GP if you think things are getting out of hand.
  • amy1612
    amy1612 Posts: 1,356 Member
    I don't blame you... I had a melt down the other night in front of a couple of my friends because I weighed in at 180.4 lbs that morning and I am a 6 ft tall male... I almost wanted to call my primary care doctor and tell him I wanted to be put on prescription diet pills or buy over the counter diet pill, or buy over the counter water pills, or even buy laxatives ...

    I find my self wishing that I could have a BMI of only 18 which for me translates into a body weight of less than 134 lbs... I have this distorted view that if I were really thin more women would want to go out with me... I know that is messed up... BTW I am not glorifying extreme thinness...

    On the other hand, I try to fight my dark tendencies... The lowest I have weighed is about 171 lbs... The only thing that I can say is that you may need to seek professional help...

    180lbs and 6ft tall if VERY slim for a man. You deserve to be healthy and strong, not skinny and decrepit. Im a 5ft2 female and I weigh more than 134lbs, come on man! Treat your body with respect, it deserves it and so do you!
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
    also my other friend kinda got into instagram, fitspo and thinspo world, and she is constantly comparing herself to those fit people! this will sound wrong but sometimes i wish it didn't exist.

    Bumping your thread natasha! :flowerforyou:

    And I follow sooo many fitspos on instagram, it kills me :( I should really stop..
  • Lexandrea
    Lexandrea Posts: 56 Member
    You sound like me! I wish I could look like that...but my body isn't build that way....:(
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
    When I was a teenager I had a body similar to you but maybe not as tall. I was as perfect as I could be for my body type and I wasn't happy still so I ended up with what I class as a mild eating disorder. Now at 47 I'm still not happy with my body but I realise I'm never going to have the body I want since I'm a perfectionist.. Don't waste your life like I did. Be happy with you NOW! We are humans not robots. We can't ever be perfect.
  • Hbazzell
    Hbazzell Posts: 899 Member
    I suggest you watch on youtube "Pretty
    " by Katie Makkai.

    Careful she drops an ef bomb in it
  • rachjenn
    rachjenn Posts: 87
    Hiya,
    My boyfriend's sister got obsessed & now sees a therapist who is helping her work through things - maybe this might help you?

    Celebs have personal trainers & people to make their food - they don't live lives like the rest of us!
  • jessicasloan91
    jessicasloan91 Posts: 184 Member
    I feel the same, although this website was good for me to initially lose weight ( I really did need to I was 175 lbs ) it has created so many self esteem issues! I don't remember ever being this concerned about my appearance before MFP days!

Categories