Thank goodness for fat shaming!

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  • LINIA
    LINIA Posts: 1,062 Member
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    I totally agree with this- for some people I feel like it happens so steadily that they don’t even realize. That’s how it happened to me. Now, it wasn’t what anyone said to me that made me see the light but rather some pictures from an outing where I was looking like Tubs Mcghee. I think it’s fine to tell people they’re gaining weight, and honestly? All my best friends, hell even just good friends, know that I would want to be made aware.

    I don’t really understand all of these comments saying that what your mum said was going too far. I suppose it’s because I grew up with foreign parents (living in US). I don’t know if you know but foreign parents keep that **** real. If you’re fat you will be let known by not only your parents but your aunts/ uncles as well. It’s not meant to be hurtful; it’s an observation of the truth- if you’re fat, you’re fat and for them its that simple.

    I know it’s a generalization but I feel like a lot of American kids [read: not the product of 1st or 2nd generation immigrants] are too dang sensitive. I have a very tough skin and no matter what someone says to me I’m not very likely to get upset. However, I feel like a lot of my peers are always getting their feelings hurt over things that they should be able to brush off. But that’s a rant for another time…

    Why get sad when someone calls you fat? Seriously- if it upsets you do something about it. If you love yourself the way you are and are happy then why even hold onto those comments and let yourself get worked up over it in any way?


    OHYOUSILLYGIRL, u r so correct, people are very, very sensitive and it is to the point where even Doctors are afraid to tell their patients to eat less, eat healthier and lose weight.

    OP, the love your Mother has for you is a blessing...sometimes a Mother will tell you what needs to be said. So sorry anyone doubts your Mom's right to know her child. Many of us miss Mom very much....your Mother is wonderful and she is obviously an important person in your life.
  • ninakir88
    ninakir88 Posts: 292 Member
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    You know.. I get it.
    When my mother said "Nina, you are really starting to put on some weight, aren't you"? It really got me thinking and made me get in shape. Just that sentence.
  • cybertazet
    cybertazet Posts: 12
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    AMEN... People who dont have a weight problem can't understand. I think everybody needs to have to be fat just 2 months and they will see the truth.
  • seths_wife
    seths_wife Posts: 76 Member
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    My dad used to call me fat all the time, at 135lbs, so after being pregnant and gaining weight the comments got worse, but it was good motivation for me I guess, it made me mad enough that I did something about it. :noway:

    Anyways, congrats on the weight loss and keep it up!
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,841 Member
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    I got married and moved from Chicago to Arizona. After a year, I came back to visit my parents, and the FIRST thing my dad said was "You got chubby."

    That's impossible in Arizona. The sun burns the fat right off your body. :)
  • bparr
    bparr Posts: 246 Member
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    I think guilt & shame are seriously unrated in our society today. I think walking on egg shells, political correctness and ever prized/valued and highly sought after "good" self esteem is at the root of so very many of our modern day society's ills and woes. I'm a firm believer in "A wound ( The sharpest reproofs) from a friend is better than kisses (All the outward profession of friendship) from an enemy". Good for you for being grateful/thankful for your mom's (your friend) sharp words/reproof. Not many people today appreciate that kind of "love" and see it not as "love" but as mean/hatred/foul.

    To each is own though....for sure!

    :drinker: Agree 100%
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    I got married and moved from Chicago to Arizona. After a year, I came back to visit my parents, and the FIRST thing my dad said was "You got chubby."

    That's impossible in Arizona. The sun burns the fat right off your body. :)

    I wish it had been that simple. Instead the sun burned the top layer of skin right off my body. I got sun poisoning my first full day there because I was naive enough to believe that the sun wasn't as intense in April in AZ as it is in Chicago in July. I spent an hour in a half in the sun, and three days in misery.
  • CrazyTrackLady
    CrazyTrackLady Posts: 1,337 Member
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    OHYOUSILLYGIRL, u r so correct, people are very, very sensitive and it is to the point where even Doctors are afraid to tell their patients to eat less, eat healthier and lose weight.


    I think we'd have fewer obese children if doctors were more abrupt, honest and in-your-face with parents. Same goes for adults. But, adults don't necessarily bring themselves to the doctor on a regular basis.
  • sarah5893
    sarah5893 Posts: 106 Member
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    i really disagree with this.
    i suppose it depends on experience, but my gran once said to me 'oh you've gotten fat haven't you, well fatter'
    i already new that i was overweight and her fat shaming just made me feel awful.
    i began dieting 3 months after she said this to me and it was nothing to do with her comment.
    i didn't diet because of her, i did it because of me.
  • Brianna72994
    Brianna72994 Posts: 887
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    Glad you aren't so easily offended... If my MOTHER called me a WHALE it would not be okay! There are alot of nicer ways to tell someone they are concerned about their health. If my mother said something like that to me, she would owe me a ton of apologies!
  • KodAkuraMacKyen
    KodAkuraMacKyen Posts: 737 Member
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    Something similar to this got me going... I was on a business trip to India when one of the associates looked at me, looked at my associate picture on our system that was a few years old, looked back at me and asked "what happened? I think you got fat." That hurt so bad. I didn't need him to tell me I had gained weight. I knew I had but I didn't really know what to do about it. After that trip, I discovered MFP and have since lost 56 pounds. On one hand, I'm still hurt that he would say something like that (I understand the culture is different) but on another, it was that comment and pictures taken while I was there that got my *kitten* in gear.
  • GiveTheGeniusACookie
    GiveTheGeniusACookie Posts: 23
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    I think guilt & shame are seriously unrated in our society today. I think walking on egg shells, political correctness and ever prized/valued and highly sought after "good" self esteem is at the root of so very many of our modern day society's ills and woes. I'm a firm believer in "A wound ( The sharpest reproofs) from a friend is better than kisses (All the outward profession of friendship) from an enemy". Good for you for being grateful/thankful for your mom's (your friend) sharp words/reproof. Not many people today appreciate that kind of "love" and see it not as "love" but as mean/hatred/foul.

    To each is own though....for sure!


    *Applauds* :drinker:

    And KUDOS to the OP's mom for helping out her daughter. If the OP was a weaker person she might have gotten her feelings hurt and ate a ton of food and added more weight on. Instead she listened without getting offended and LOOKIE there she is changing her life. WTG OP WTG!!!!
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
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    Reported:

    Those poor whales and cows. What did those majestic beasts ever do to deserve to be compared to all you people.:sad:

    SWEET.jpg

    3ptv0u.jpg
  • Bentleymama86
    Bentleymama86 Posts: 89 Member
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    Before I had my kids, I wasn't perfect, but I was at about a sie 5. after having 4 kids in 5 years, I gained 100lbs. Now I look at mytself, and I'm tired of being fat :( So I'm changing it.
  • diolpah
    diolpah Posts: 134 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

    If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.
  • Bentleymama86
    Bentleymama86 Posts: 89 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

    If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.
    This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me :) and I am happy with who I am :)
  • vice350z
    vice350z Posts: 1,066 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

    If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.
    This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me :) and I am happy with who I am :)

    i have fat and i HATE it...it affects the fun life I want.
  • keem88
    keem88 Posts: 1,689 Member
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    i agree. i've never been overweight before, but if i were i should as hell would want someone to tell me, politely or rude so i could better take care of myself. sometimes it is hard to see how we really look, and it may be a sensitive subject but i'd be embarrassed waking around huge and no one knocking sense into me. i think it's important to help out other people, and even if it seems mean, your mom telling you was prolly the best thing she could have done because she was worried about your health.
  • Bentleymama86
    Bentleymama86 Posts: 89 Member
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    I can only speak for myself, but self-hatred and a constant internal monologue of shame and negativity is the only thing that actually produces results.

    If I was happy with myself, I would have absolutely no motivation or reason to fix what isn't perceived to be broken.
    This is somewhat true. I love who I am, but I AM NOT FAT. I just HAVE FAT. So I do love me :) and I am happy with who I am :)

    i have fat and i HATE it...it affects the fun life I want.
    I can totally understand that. It sucks, don't it :(
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
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    Every day I walk around and can't help but want to go up to people (lots of them) and grab them by the shoulders and shake them and say "Hey! Just what do you think you've been doing?!" I was once one of them and so that urge is strong. How to do that constructively is the question. And now I often pause to think about what other things I'm still delusional.

    Ok, and what about their appearance suggests they're not already doing something about it?
    The worst thing I ever felt was people coming up behind me on the way to pick up my son, and telling me I was fat and that I should lose weight.... and that really hurt because I had been exercising and losing weight for more than a year... yes I was still overweight but I was 30 lbs lighter than when I started...
    So just because someone is overweight doesn't mean that A they're not aware of it, and B theyre not already doing something about it...

    :flowerforyou:

    I never started getting comments about my weight until I started losing it and then strangers on the street would feel the need to criticize me for it. Even now I still get people who think I should lose 15 more pounds and others who think I'm too skinny and probably anorexic.

    It's one thing for a family member, good friend or doctor to be concerned about your health. It's quite another to call names and treat people as if they are stupid or lazy because they are fat or criticize because they aren't where you think they should be. Some people are obese not due to shoveling food in their mouths but actual medical conditions. So unless you know a person's story and why they are the way they are or they have asked you for input, you have no business commenting.

    MYOB

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