Could you share your experiences as I feel like a FAILURE!!

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I started my new healthy living on wednesday so it's only been a few days. Before I did nothing. I suffered from severe depression and spent my time eating and sleeping so my weight is 205 lbs (5ft 2) and my exercise levels are none. Even walking up the stairs causes me to be out of breath :( But today I attempted 10 minutes of a jillian michaels dvd and I couldn't even do all of the exercise and the ones I could do felt like they were killing me. It actually hurt to jump around. I know it's because all my lack of fitness but I feel like a failure for it. I did 10 mins (with a break!) and here I am sweating and purple in the face unable to move. Was anyone else like this?
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Replies

  • Jesea
    Jesea Posts: 374 Member
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    I'm 5'2" and when I started here January,2012, I weighed 205 pounds. I am now around 156-158, and working to lose another 11 pounds. Has it been easy? Not always. Has it been worth it? YES! I can jog 5k, and am working on improving my speed. I workout as often as I can, and try to keep within my goals. Am I successful every day? No. But if I let myself focus on the negative, I won't reach my ultimate goal weight.

    What helps me the most? My friends on MFP. Reading their posts, dancing at our successes, crying on each other's shoulders. We all know how hard this is!

    Good luck! You can do this!
  • ldniz
    ldniz Posts: 13
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    Hello, I am pretty much the same as you.
    I felt pretty much hopeless about losing weight.
    I started 30day shred on 11th April, and felt like dying. I stopped a couple of times, but got through it and thought I couldn't do it again.
    I did the first week, along with a 1200 a day calorie diet weighed myself, and found I had put on half a pound. I felt like crying.
    I read more on here, and increased my calories to my BMR (1590ish), and lost a kilo in 2 days. I've lost 1.5 inches from my waist, 1 inch from my belly, one inch each from my arms and thighs. I'm on day 9 of excercise - I've taken two days out to rest.
    The dvd is so much easier now, I'm confident I can up a level after tomorrow.
    I am totally sedentary, incredibly unfit usually. I already look forward to my exciercise time. I hurt like hell for the first 4 days, but now it's fine, and I can already feel a major difference in my energy levels.
    I hope you stick with it, you deserve to devote some time to feeling better (my OH has a depressive form of bipolar and I *know* how horrible living with that black dog can be). Good luck, it literally can only get better! x
  • lacroyx
    lacroyx Posts: 5,754 Member
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    You've only failed when you stop trying.
  • csmith822
    csmith822 Posts: 46 Member
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    I am 5' 2" and started at 200 pounds. I joined MFP in January 2013 and am down to 178 pounds now. The whole first month, I didn't do anything with exercise. I concentrated on weighing and logging food and planning meals that would fit into my calorie goal. By February, that was a good habit, so I concentrated on drinking more water. March was supposed to be my exercise start, and I did add some, but not a lot - (still working on that!) You can lose weight without killing yourself if you are faithful to your calorie intake. Once you get some of the weight off, it will be easier to exercise. P.S. - I have off times, too, but my MFP friends are good inspiration, and I look at the 90 day progress report to remind myself that I have come a long way overall, even if it hasn't been a good week. Good luck!
  • Lalasharni
    Lalasharni Posts: 353 Member
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    I think you are expecting too much of your body to leap from a nil exercise regime into something so strenuous! Well done for beginning your journey into health and fitness, but I think you should take it a little more slowly. You've embraced the MFP way and so log all your foods, eat as cleanly as you can and open your diary to your friends so that they can encourage you.
    As far as your exercise is concerned, try doing the stairs in your house (if you have any) two or three times a day. Then when you can manage that, start moving up them a little more quickly. When you get that under control, add some walking - take a friend's dog for a walk and build up from there.
    When your heart and lungs are accustomed to exercise, then start your training program again. You will find that you will be able to manage a lot of the exercises then
    Don't forget, that if you have never exercised, your muscles and ligaments will be tight and you should make sure that you do some stretches before you attempt anything - there are plenty of videos on You Tube to tell you how. Of course you will hurt - its unavoidable, but agony shouldnt come into it - otherwise you will never keep it up. If you want to add me as a friend, please do so - I was as unfit as you are, and although I dont work out, per se - I walk three miles a day and am much fitter now than I was. As you lose weight, it will get easier, so don't give in and believe me - you are NOT A FAILURE. You only fail when you give up.
    Good luck on your journey.
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    Do not expect to be a fitness rock star. If it were easy, everyone would do it. Just do what you can a little at a time. Even if it is 5 minutes. Then the next day shoot for 6.

    I started this journey out 5 years ago and started exercising by walking 2 miles a day. I used to get winded by mearly watching a cop chase a perp on CSI NY. Now I can run 3 straight miles and walk/run close to 6. How I achieved that is not giving up.
  • HollisGrant
    HollisGrant Posts: 2,022 Member
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    Listen to your body. Put that DVD away and go for a walk in the fresh air. Walking is one of the best things you can do for yourself physically and mentally. It does everything in a gentle way, no damage to your knees, builds up your immune system, and burns calories. You can extend the walks as you are able and build up the miles. Getting outside is great for depression, too. Then try the DVD at a later time.
  • Emsie_lou
    Emsie_lou Posts: 50 Member
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    Thank you everyone for your replies! It has made me feel much better and I am starting to feel quite proud of myself for doing the 10 mins of exercise! I do expect too much of myself so thank you for reminding me to take it easier on myself. You are all so supportive :)
  • likleylad
    likleylad Posts: 30 Member
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    hi i think we have all been there at one point, but you have to start somewhere and you have, just 5mins a day and keep increasing it day by day and you will get there and as you loose wieght it will become easier, plus exercise is good for depression as myself suffer from it , it does make you feel better. you have done the hard part by starting keep up the good work:smile:
  • nettasue35
    nettasue35 Posts: 190 Member
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    I'm 5.2, I started at 240 in Jan. I'm 214 now. When I started I could not even ride my exercise bike for ten minutes. so I would ride it 2 times a day until I could ride it for at least 30 minutes, I increased the time every Sunday. Now I ride every morning for 45 to 60 minutes. so you can do this you just have to go slow at first.
  • CyberEd312
    CyberEd312 Posts: 3,536 Member
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    When I started this journey 4 years ago I couldn't even walk.. Standing for 30 seconds was a chore in and of itself. I had a computer chair a literally wheeled myself around the house to get to the bathroom or kitchen and back to my recliner. At 560 lbs. they had to put me in a therapy pool to use water displacement so that I could stand long enough to exercise and even then the first time I cold barely do 5 minutes. But I committed to go back and each time I add another minute or another exercise... Because of my previous job and years of severe morbid obesity I have been left with Grade 3 Osteoarthritis both knee;s, torn meniscus both knee's, No cartilage both knee's and this past your shredded my ACL. I have hah numerous knee clean outs, multiple rounds of knee injections, and have been on just about ever pain pill known to man (am on 2 currently). I have to wear custom fitted Don Joy OA braces when I exercise or am out on my feet for any long periods of time. I swim 6-8 miles a week (lap swimming) at the YMCA and just finished walking a 5K yesterday,.,, You have to take this journey one day at a time and always continue to put one foot in front of the other... This has to truly be a lifestyle commitment or you will continue to fail or at best do the Yo Yo thing.... Set small obtainable goals, reach them and set new ones... No one started this journey and succeeded from day one, you will experience set backs it is inevitable but what defines you is your Perseverance to not give up.... Best of Luck!!
  • JesterMFP
    JesterMFP Posts: 3,596 Member
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    So, it's only been a few days. That's not enough time to decide that you've failed!

    You've taken the most important step in getting started, so give yourself a big pat on the back for that!

    My biggest advice would be to start slow. Take baby steps. Exercise doesn't sound much fun for you right now, so don't leap into it with such intensity that you burn out and give it up as a bad job. You theoretically don't need to exercise to lose weight. I'm not saying that to discourage you because exercise has a ton of benefits and I highly recommend it, but it's not the case that you have to go from sedentary to super-active overnight.

    Concentrate on your food and calorie intake. You should be able to get some good results even just with that. I wouldn't make huge changes to your diet, but just start with logging and seeing where you can make little changes to meet your goals. Over time, you may want to make more changes, but try to just make changes that you know you can live with. Don't make such radical changes that you want to give up after a couple of weeks.

    Those Jillian Michaels DVDs are quite challenging, especially if your fitness levels are quite low to start with. I'll let you into a secret - I consider myself quite fit now. I run about 3 times a week and lift heavy weights too. Yet I still struggle with those DVD workouts. I felt a failure the first couple of times I tried, but then I realised it's just not my kind of thing. Maybe it is your thing, (and lots of people have had great success with it) but you might need to work up to it. Maybe start with something a bit simpler. If climbing the stairs makes you out of breath, that's a good place to start! Decide to walk up and down the stairs a certain number of times a day - more than you do now.

    Also, walking is great to start to improve fitness. For my first few months on MFP, almost the only exercise I did was walking. You can start off gently, but it's surprising how much of a sweat you can work up if you put more effort into it. I see on your profile that you're going to do a 5k - if you can already walk that distance ok, then I'd definitely recommend the couch 2 5k programme. It starts off with really short intervals and gets you running 5k in 9 weeks. I was a complete non-runner before I did that, but I made it! At first, it was hard, but after a couple of weeks, my heart & lung fitness seemed to really improve so that although I was still out of breath, it didn't hurt as much as it did when I first started. It got so much easier!

    I'm sure you know this already, but exercise is really important in managing depression. It's not a magic cure, but it really does make a difference for a lot of people. There are a lot of days that I really don't fancy leaving the house to go for a walk or run, and I really don't care about fitness or calorie burns, but I make myself because I know the good it does to my brain. I know how hard it can be with depression. It can be hard to get out of bed and have a shower, let alone anything else. If you can be more consistently active, hopefully it will lift your spirits a bit, which will make getting motivated easier. Also, once you start seeing the scale go down, that will help too.

    I had a little snoop on your other recent posts (not in creepy way, just to look for relevant info!) and I saw that you're worried about loose skin. Please, please, please don't let that put you off losing weight in any way. I have similar stats - I'm 5'3" and I was 214 lbs at my heaviest. I've lost about 85 lbs (6 ish stone). I'm a few years older than you, and I was obese/overweight from my mid-teens until last year. I have some loose skin, mainly on my tummy and upper arms. It's not pretty, but it's not hideous either. It's really not. The skin on my tummy isn't noticeable in underwear or a bikini (hypothetically, I don't actually have one!), and the wobbly bits on my arms are not enough to make me need to cover them up. I feel 100x better about my body now then when I was bigger. For vanity reasons alone, the weight loss has been so, so worth it. That's not to mention the obvious health benefits, and being able to wear nicer clothes, and being fitter etc. And, there are people that lose 100+ lbs and don't have any problems with loose skin at all. A lot depends on genetics. So, please don't let that put you off! I will also note that the wobbly looseness has only really appeared in since I lost the last 10 or so lbs, so I could have stopped losing then and settled for being a little bit heavier with smoother skin. That's a choice you can make as you get closer to goal.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
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    walk before you can run.

    i could do that dvd. but i couldn't do it while carrying 60 pounds of extra weight. if you stuck a 60 pound backpack on me i'd be wheezing in no time! with that in mind, and your previous lack of exercise, those 10 minutes you lasted were an impressive effort of will power! no way should you be kicking yourself.

    set yourself some realistic goals. an fast walk each day is a good start.
  • april1445
    april1445 Posts: 334
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    Keep doing Jillian Michaels. I did level 1 for about 2 months and I started off BAD but, eventually I got there. (I'm about 200 lbs--no exercise in 5 years). I had soreness and even a few injuries, but I did what I could (very small squats for example) and now I'm much improved. Helps with depression! Keep at it. you'll never get there from the couch.
  • Susanthecatwhisperer
    Susanthecatwhisperer Posts: 141 Member
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    Don't be too hard on yourself!! I heard one thing that has helped many people who can't seem to get started or get too discouraged when starting an exercise routine. It's simple, on the first of the month, exercise for 1 minute. Done! On the second of the month, 2 minutes. Each day, just adding a minute, until at the end of the month, you have a 30 minute workout. I wish you the best of luck in your goals. :)
  • lambchoplewis
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    You must walk before you run (as others said)!!! I just walk, walk, walk and while in kitchen cooking I do some arm circles etc just keep moving. Park farther away in store parking lot, walk up the stairs if possible. Each day will get better. Put away the Jillian DVD - even too much for me and I am in pretty good shape and am in maintenance mode.

    Saw this from someone:

    When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down, And you feel like the biggest failure in town. When you want to give up just because you gave in, and forget all about being healthy and thin. So What! You went over your points a bit, It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit! It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change. It's learning the skills to get back in your range. It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now. You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow." It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal. You're still gonna make it, just stay in control. To stumble and fall is not a disgrace, If you summon the will to get back in the race. But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip, Just throw in the towel and continue to slip. And learn too late when the damage is done, that the race wasn't over...they still could have won. Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow, but facing each challenge will help you grow. Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint in a cloud of doubt. When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit, If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!
  • 5tony5
    5tony5 Posts: 3 Member
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    a journey of a thousand miles starts by putting one foot ahead of another. Think about it, just walk and live and eat that way. When you fall get back up, look behind you and see how far you've gone and look ahead and see how much fun it will be to get to your destination...
  • FluffyMcNutter
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    DO NOT feel like a failure. You are trying. Just in case you need to be reminded, there is a popular quote...by someone I can't recall that says, "The only failure is the failure not to try."

    You are already NOT FAILING because you are trying. Keep going with it, or with something else if you decide that this particular DVD isn't right for you. You get to do whatever you want as long as it is pushing you without hurting you. I'm doing 30 Day Shred right now and while I'm in good enough shape to work out for 20 minutes, some of her moves are really hard on certain parts of my body (I have bad knees and little flexibility in my ankles due to spraining them about a million times when I was growing up), so I find it really difficult to do level 1. That doesn't make me feel like a failure. I'm just powering through it and hoping that Level 2 likes my body a little more. I do what I can and when my knees start hurting or my ankles are getting mad at me, I switch to something else...like running in place, or I take my squats at a slower speed to make sure I'm taking care of my knees and ankles, or whatever other adjustment I need to make. I'm on Day 5 of Level 1. Day 1 of Level 1, I could do 4 pushups without taking a break. Today, I did 11. That's incremental progress. I could have quit on day 1. I didn't. I will be doing 17-20 pushups without taking a break before I move to level 2. That's my goal and it's going to happen. If I have to do Level 1 for 13 days instead of 10 days, I will. That's how I make up for the fact that the lunges and squats scare my knees.

    If it's your fitness level that is holding you back, then try to do 30 seconds or 1 minute more of the DVD every day. It might hurt. Actually, it will hurt. Do it anyway. If that's too much for you to handle, then do 30 seconds more every other day. You'll see a difference if you give yourself the opportunity to improve. Just make sure that you still do the proper stretching when you're done even if you stop early. I actually find her warm ups and cool down/stretch out to be inadequate, so I do more. Try taking a walk around the block before you start and immediately when you're done. Then, do 10 minutes of good stretching after. Find some stretches you like for your hamstrings, quads, calves, achilles, triceps, shoulders, abs and back (a lot of the abs and back stretches work both). Take a long time to do them. Appreciate how they feel and start to look for that feeling while you're doing the exercises that are supposed to be working those muscles. I find that works a lot more for finding good form than simply listening to the words they say on the DVDs.

    Please, don't be discouraged. You might have a long way to go, but the only way you are ever going to get there is by doing it. Your only other option is to stay as you are. That's clearly not what you want...otherwise, you wouldn't be trying this or asking questions here. You got this.
  • Ragingwitch
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    Think how long it took you to put weight on. I need to drop a stone and it's taken me about 2 years to put that stone on. So I can't rush the weight loss because burning it off takes almost as long as putting it on in the first place.
    Do 10 minutes today....11 minutes tomorrow....rest....12 minutes.....and so on. You can look on Youtube for shorter videos as well - I like Cassey Ho's Blogilates as they're usually about 12-20 minutes long and not too crazy like Jillian Michaels. I like her encouraging loud American-ness spurring me along too!
  • MrsDogLady
    MrsDogLady Posts: 156 Member
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    New here - not new to dieting but I'm determined to keep going. Just like you said "new way of eating". It's your new life, make it work for you. There are lots of alternatives when it comes to prepping your meals, find the healthiest route and take it. You will feel better just knowing you finished your day eating well.

    Exercise has to be enjoyable so think about what you loved when you were a kid and perhaps you can think of something that you can do now. Good luck!