Need help kicking the fat girl mentality

rent or buy "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead" such an inspiration!!!! easy to do too!!!!

Throw out the scale and grab a measuring tape

don't use the labels fat or thin, use healthy or not healthy, then choose healthy

Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.

^^^ This is a great idea.

For myself, when that "you are defined by your weight and you are faaaaat" voice starts getting louder, I take away it's "life force" ie. the scale and I work on WHY I am feeling that way. I actually made my husband hide my scale until I didn't even think about it anymore. Of course, what works for me may not work for someone else I have been making some good progress to that effect, by really digging into why I do/feel/think so negatively about myself. Some I've found disguises itself as something "good" like supporting my friends in their weight loss. That's a good thing! Until I realized that I'd come to rely on having someone do it with me and that I'd put more effort into doing things for them and helping THEM achieve THEIR (but really my) goals than I was for myself. I felt like I didn't deserve it, but it was something I wanted so badly that I put a ton of pressure on myself to make sure my friends succeeded. And when they inevitably quit (because, really, they didn't have the drive to do it for themselves in the first place) I would quit because I didn't deserve to succeed where they "failed". I made myself do things on my own. And it was hard. Like, panic/anxiety attack sobbing and shaking uncontrollably on the floor hugging my knees and rocking back and forth because I was going to train by myself in the free-weight section at my gym. "men only" type area at that place. But I forced myself to go. And go. And go. Until I didn't even think about why I didn't belong there. I kinda did a fake it till you make it thing. I bet I looked a b*tch too because I'm sure my face showed the determination I needed as pure rage, lol. You'll need to do some digging as to why you feel 200lbs is your limit.... If you need a sounding board or just want someone to write vents to, friend me up

I am thankful for your post. We have the same mentality. I have lost and gained the same 80 pounds a few times now. Everytime swearing, "I'LL NEVER GET TO THAT WEIGHT AGAIN". I agree that a HUGE part of weight loss is mentality and attitude. I think we have been stuck in the fat girl mentality so long that we don't feel as though we deserve anything better. Maybe we're even a little scared of what might be expected of us as a thinner version of ourselves. I don't know have the answer but now I know that I am not alone.

Maybe now that you're under 200, just continue logging for a month or so without weighing yourself. Then the number on the scale won't even matter. Then in a couple months, start weighing again.

that is a great idea

Maybe you should involve your self in an empowering activity.

theres tons of them. I love Boxing. my girlfriend loves burlesque dancing. both do wonders. think about it.

Ok, So I can totally relate! I hit 200, and basically after bouncing back and forth between 205 and 198, I gave up. Before I knew it I was 236 pounds. I was really afraid that 250 was the next step, and after a very unforgiving picture, I decided to get in gear. I got back down to 200, 199, 198, then got scared, and suddenly 206 again.... Back down to 198, back up to 206.... I worked out, I binged. I would feel proud, then embarrassed... (I would get into the negative mindset of why am I proud of weighing 198 pounds....) I could not break 198 on the scale, because I could not break past it in my mind. It took a visit to the doctor and her telling me I have pre-diabetes to really kick me into high gear. There was so much more too (ulcers, lactose intolerant, thyroid not functioning properly, depression, extremely low vitamin D) I take a pill in the morning for thyroid, another one for depression, and a high dose of vitamin D once a week. I took antibiotics and prilosec for 2 weeks for the ulcers. Cut out dairy, and made a decision to cut out gluten as well to help aid the thyroid. I am down 13 pounds this last month, (Broke through the 198 barrier!) I have not been bouncing back and forth, lost 9 pounds in the first 9 days, then a slow 1.5 to 2 pounds a week. I am feeling so much better!!! Not bloated and uncomfortable, my mindset is changing, I AM proud of myself, and although I don't work out as often as I want to/feel I should, I am doing it a lot more, and I work harder and know it is going to pay off

I have the same problem...I get compliments on how far I've come and I catch myself saying...oh I'm not even close to where I should be or dismissing the compliment instead of enjoying it...

"It's not a sprint, it's a marathon."

thanks again for all the feedback guys - and friend requests. support definitely helps here.

i've been thinking more and have found myself slipping a little again over the past week and was thinking that maybe part of my problem is now i see 200 (well 199) as my end point.

I'm debating resetting my ticker and having my starting pt being 200lbs instead of 220 - hoping that'll help me see this as part of the race instead of like i just crossed the finish line - any thoughts?

this could work pretty well. also signing up for some kind of event a fun 5k, a sport you enjoy, or a competitive event to train for could also help your mind set to focus on your training, less on the weight loss. even when you're not losing, you're improving
in your form, strength, endurance, or performance in some way. It might also be helpful to take stock of your performance and fitness level then and now. that does help me.

First of all you are not fat.....you HAVE fat. It does not define you....You also have a user name that puts yourself down. Try to think about how much you deserve to be in the 1's. You are so worth it. When you have been big for a long time it is hard not to let that define you ( I know this from experience).

Tell yourself....why NOT you? Dont let the number on the scale define you or scare you. You are Beautiful. Try putting the scale away for a while and just keep taking care of yourself in a good way and you may just be surprised when you pull it out again and its in the 1's that you like what you see and feel.

Good luck to you....i know that losing weight and changing your life is a huge mental game. YOU ARE WORTH IT !!

Thanks for posting and commenting everyone! I've also been struggling with a similar problem where I'd lose a certain amount of weight and instead of being happy for myself, I would gain all the weight back. I don't like being overweight yet somehow it was safe and comforting and miserable all at the same time, but it was what I knew. I've always been the chubby one so I know how to be that, but being a thinner "more attractive" person is new and awkward for me. Like others, I was afraid of change and afraid to lose the part of me that I do like (my nice, friendly, bubbly personality :blushing: ).

What I've realized is that even if I lose 50 pounds, I can still be who I want to be except in a healthier body! Just because I've always been the "thicker girl with a great personality" doesn't mean I have to continue that role if I don't want to. Neither do you! I'd say enjoy the cat calls and take the compliments... You look good! :glasses: