Being told you're not fat

2»

Replies

  • BarbWhite09
    BarbWhite09 Posts: 1,128 Member
    Uhm, maybe the person just doesn't think you're fat? People have different views on size, ya know.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
    If you don't go around saying "I'm so fat", people will stop saying "You're not fat"
    haha this is my thought exactly! Most of the time this phrase comes up is when people are fishing for compliments.

    Granted there ARE people who will just randomly comment on other people's weight or appearance but in my experience MOST of the time the person who gets all bent out of shape is the one who brought it up in the first place.

    I think it is funny that so many people here get so offended easily by something that is often meant as a compliment or because their friends and family aren't supporting or praising them in the exact way they want to be... do you all discuss your BMI in casual conversation??? If not how do you expect other people to know and say exactly what you want them to say? Get over yourselves.
  • kaseysospacey
    kaseysospacey Posts: 499 Member
    Fat is subjective. Maybe you are just a bit soft and rounded and when they think fat they think fupa and cankles
  • bethanylaugh
    bethanylaugh Posts: 237
    I think it's just an awkward subject for a lot of people, so I try not to talk about it with anyone unless I know they are in the same boat as me!

    Honestly, they just don't know what else to say... "good for you" sounds demeaning and mean, "good luck" sounds sarcastic... etc!
  • LauraDotts
    LauraDotts Posts: 732 Member
    I think that the population has grown to such a high average of obesity that people who are overweight can appear "normal" compared to the mean, and fit people can be seen as unhealthily thin. I get plenty of weird comments too :-)
    This is the truth. Reality is that most people in the USA can not recognize a healthy weight. Your ticker indicates that your goal is to lose 29 pounds. Most people would not be able to see that you are 29 pounds overweight just by looking at you and would be surprised to hear that you are.
  • bdeezy3396
    bdeezy3396 Posts: 89 Member
    I get this as well, people tell me if I lose anymore weight I'll disappear, but my BMI is still within the obese range. I just smile, and continue with my business.
  • iamabutterflychaser
    iamabutterflychaser Posts: 35 Member
    Back in 2010, I lost close to 50 lbs. Before that, my mom was always on my case about how I need to lose weight/ she's concerned for my health, etc. When I was down almost 50 lbs (and still overweight by BMI standards), she was always saying that she was worried that I didn't eat enough and that I was starving myself. Then I gained it all back and then some, and of course the overweight comments started again. (Meanwhile, my mom has been obese for as long as I can remember, and two of my three siblings are also obese, but she never says anything to them!) My theory is, you just can't win with some people!

    Since starting MFP in January, my mom had not said anything to me at all until last weekend, when she saw me she said "You're looking good" and that felt great, but I have learned my lesson to not put too much stock in what other people have to say. What matters is that I get healthy and that I feel good about myself. This time it's just for me and I'm not going to let anyone try to sabotage me! :happy:
  • crazybookworm
    crazybookworm Posts: 779 Member
    I had this happen to me all the time when I was heavy. I was 252 lbs...I was fat!! Every time I said I was starting my weight loss journey or that I need to lose X amount of weight they would always say "But why? You're not big" and so on. Now that I've lost my weight they always say "You look fantastic" or "You've lost so much weight" I love and appreciate the compliments but sometimes I can't help but think to myself See, I was Fat! lol
  • KeysGirl23
    KeysGirl23 Posts: 117 Member
    I completely agree! They just don't know what to say or how to say it. Personally, I smile, say thank you and take everything as a compliment and keep on going. What do I care if they are being jealous, defensive or (more to the point) insecure about MY body and my weight. This is MY journey not theirs. So I say, keep your head up and keep on doing what you are donig - it's YOUR journey.
  • bethanylaugh
    bethanylaugh Posts: 237
    I think that people struggle with honesty. I can tell myself that I'm fat and need to lose weight, but I've gotta say that hearing it from someone else would still crush me.
    Not that I expect anyone to lie to me either, that is just equally annoying.
    In my opinion, I don't think that people know how to deal with those types of scenarios so they get uncomfortable and just say what is easiest!

    this!
  • crazydaisy15
    crazydaisy15 Posts: 47
    I'm going to look stupid here, but what is fupa? :ohwell:

    I am really trying to not worry about what anyone else says, or try to analyze why they say it. I tend to do that, and it's a waste of my time and energy.
    I tend to stay really private about my weight issues and struggles with weight loss. Because if I talk about it, I get either bad advice, or someone who wants to be a partner in whining, but not actually doing anything.
    I'm not saying this is right, or the best thing. I know so many people have success because they have an awesome support system. But I haven't found any support system, except for here, and within myself. :happy:

    edited to add: I looked up fupa. lol oh my! :laugh:
  • raisingemilyjune
    raisingemilyjune Posts: 181
    my fiance does this a lot and i can`t stand it. i KNOW i`m overweight, stop pretending i`m not.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    I used to get that a lot when I was clearly overweight. People are def just trying to be nice, but you're right...I found it annoying too. Now just wait till you lose all the weight, people will be telling you that you're TOO thin. Just worry about your own opinion, it's a lot easier that way.
  • jmsharp1
    jmsharp1 Posts: 29
    My husband and family tell me that. I think maybe those who love us see us much differently than we do ourselves. I'd give a million bucks to see me the way my husband does! Not everyone says that to be mean. However I can still understand your urge to kick them in the face!
  • kayzbluegenes
    kayzbluegenes Posts: 3
    I have lost 44 lbs and have 36 more to go until I reach my goal (above chart weight). I am doing so well, but people keep telling me, "Are you taking this too far?" "You don't have 36 more lbs to go!" "Don't overdo it!"

    I'm 60 yrs old; I do Zumba almost every day, play softball, eat healthy, take my vitamins, and feel great... I think I can take care of myself!
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
    People don't want to be rude or appear critical, we love our friends and family for who they are so we can not be unbiased. My friends don't just see my weight they see who I am as a person. My BMI has creeped up into the "overweight" category it is a fact , just a plain old no opinion fact.

    It's like when I ask my partner "does this make my butt look big" ...everyone knows not to say "Yes you have a big *kitten*"
  • tennileb
    tennileb Posts: 265 Member
    I can't say I want any friends I know to look at me and say yeah your fat. (I have family who already feels free to comment on my bottom line)
  • ArchyJill
    ArchyJill Posts: 548 Member
    I think that the population has grown to such a high average of obesity that people who are overweight can appear "normal" compared to the mean, and fit people can be seen as unhealthily thin. I get plenty of weird comments too :-)

    ^^ THIS! A million times over. It's ridiculous.
  • amyniceneasy
    amyniceneasy Posts: 143 Member
    I think that the population has grown to such a high average of obesity that people who are overweight can appear "normal" compared to the mean, and fit people can be seen as unhealthily thin. I get plenty of weird comments too :-)


    There is a lot of truth to this. I notice the rate of obesity in our country big time when I go to my childs school. When I was in elementary school there were probably less than five of us that were chubby. Now....most of the kids in my daughters class are overweight to a certain degree and some of them are down right HUGE.
  • toshi89
    toshi89 Posts: 101 Member
    I think that the population has grown to such a high average of obesity that people who are overweight can appear "normal" compared to the mean, and fit people can be seen as unhealthily thin. I get plenty of weird comments too :-)


    There is a lot of truth to this. I notice the rate of obesity in our country big time when I go to my childs school. When I was in elementary school there were probably less than five of us that were chubby. Now....most of the kids in my daughters class are overweight to a certain degree and some of them are down right HUGE.



    I just repeat that Just because the scale says you're fat and overweight doesn't mean it reflects outwardly. They may not see what your body really looks like under the clothes. They don't mean anything by it. (Sorry, but having a big butt isn't a sign of being fat). Your BMI and weight aren't posted on your head. They don't know what your health is like just by looking at you. Also, are they saying, "You're not fat, so you don't need to lose weight?" Or are the just letting you know hey, you're not fat, don't put yourself down b/c you're beautiful. You really have to think about these things.

Categories