The thing to do ladies.
Ladies, the hardest thing to do is approach you.
So, about a month ago I was in a store doing some shopping. I noticed an attractive girl. So after talking myself in and out of it, I got up enough courage to talk to her. She was very nice and engaging. Finally, I asked her out and her reply was, “that is so sweet but I have a boyfriend.” Ouch, denied….lol. No seriously she was real cool about it and all I could say was “had to take a shot.” She replied, “I am glad you did, made my day.” Wow, I had never felt that good, being turned down. Also, I have been turned down in much harsher ways. I have gotten the psshhh lip service, rolling of the eyes, the uh oh scary black guy look, the “you have not shot, how dare you even try look,” and my personal favorite, straight being ignored.
So I would like to ask you ladies something, how do you like being approached? Is there a place, besides work, where a person shouldn’t try? As always I like to give my thoughts first.
1. I totally understand you should be able to go out and not be “hit on” or approached by some guy you don’t even know.
2. Do you turn guys down harshly or are you nice about it? Assuming that you are not interested, do guys that you think are unattractive get the same treatment as guys who you find attractive? Meaning, do you turn down the attractive guys in a nicer way?
3. Do you have a favorite/no so favorite story about how a guy tried to hit on you?
4. Do you know how hard it is to gain enough courage to talk to you? Be nice to us….lmao
As usual I am just a curious guy and I love to get different opinions. Let’s keep this conversation light hearted and fun.
So, about a month ago I was in a store doing some shopping. I noticed an attractive girl. So after talking myself in and out of it, I got up enough courage to talk to her. She was very nice and engaging. Finally, I asked her out and her reply was, “that is so sweet but I have a boyfriend.” Ouch, denied….lol. No seriously she was real cool about it and all I could say was “had to take a shot.” She replied, “I am glad you did, made my day.” Wow, I had never felt that good, being turned down. Also, I have been turned down in much harsher ways. I have gotten the psshhh lip service, rolling of the eyes, the uh oh scary black guy look, the “you have not shot, how dare you even try look,” and my personal favorite, straight being ignored.
So I would like to ask you ladies something, how do you like being approached? Is there a place, besides work, where a person shouldn’t try? As always I like to give my thoughts first.
1. I totally understand you should be able to go out and not be “hit on” or approached by some guy you don’t even know.
2. Do you turn guys down harshly or are you nice about it? Assuming that you are not interested, do guys that you think are unattractive get the same treatment as guys who you find attractive? Meaning, do you turn down the attractive guys in a nicer way?
3. Do you have a favorite/no so favorite story about how a guy tried to hit on you?
4. Do you know how hard it is to gain enough courage to talk to you? Be nice to us….lmao
As usual I am just a curious guy and I love to get different opinions. Let’s keep this conversation light hearted and fun.
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Replies
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I take it as a compliment when a guy hits on me. As long as he does it in a respectful non creepy way. The only time I don't like it is when they persist and I tell them I'm gay which in turn makes them tell me I just haven't met the right guy. Other than that it's a good confidence booster because you know the guy went out of his way to say hi.0
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I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses?
I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:0 -
I think it's a matter of how you go about it. I have been 'hit on' (I hate using that term!) before in very nice ways, and some very creepy ways, one of which led to a boy getting punched in the nose once in high school.
One time I was out with some friends, and a guy who I did not happen to find attractive approached me and said that he saw me and thought I was beautiful, so he thought he would take a shot and ask for my number. I did not have a boyfriend at the time, but I wasn't interested in having one, either, so I simply told him that I had a boyfriend but it was very sweet of him to ask. I did give him my phone number, though, because he was a nice guy and we were friends, for a while.
Then there was another time when I was just walking, minding my own business when a guy went "Whoo, look at them titties" and then tried to grab them. Needless to say, that is the story I was referring to in which I punched a guy in the nose.
I think attractiveness doesn't necessarily matter. Whether you are attractive or unattractive to me has no bearing on whether I think you would be worth a shot. It is so often that the most beautiful people we meet in life are the ones who are not deemed beautiful by society's standards. That being said, it is the manner in which you approach me that determines how I will turn you down. If you are eloquent and kind and a gentleman about it, expect to be turned down in the nicest way possible. If you are a jerk who tries to grab my boobs, expect a punch in the nose.0 -
I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses?
I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:
It ain't the glasses. The glasses are a +. I can't imagine why in the name of Poseidon's right butt cheek you have not been hit on in a long time....
But anyway..... How you doin???
:flowerforyou:0 -
I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses?
I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:
You know what they say, girls who wear glasses never get passes! :laugh:
Funny enough there are some very pretty women who wear glasses, such as yourself! Maybe guys are too shy to hit on you? lol0 -
I hear they love being approached at the gym.0
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Personally, I like to use pick up lines and I never get denied....EVER
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Not the gym. Especially not the gym when I'm busy (mid-set). That is the only time it really annoys me. And in general don't be a total creep or d-bag about it, striking up a convo is good, whistling, hooting, or saying something inappropriate makes me feel very uncomfortable.0
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It's a huge compliment to me to get hit on. I've been married now for going on 10 years and I have a kid, so it gives the ego a huge boost. I would never be rude about it to the other person though.0
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This one too
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i was standing outside a bar recently, just 30 sec or so ahead of my date, when this gomer coming up the walk catches sight of me and starts in immediately:
"Are you married?"
(no.)
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
(no.)
"Then what's the issue?"
so i told him: i am childish b!tch, a hypocrite, a liar and a thief. (depending upon whom you ask.)
i wasn't terribly peeved, a little amused, actually, but i did want to close with the same degree crassness with which he'd opened. "What's the issue?" dude, really? i guess ONE of my issues is that i don't play nice with mouthy (or drunk) jerks...
i serve back what is offered. politeness and respect begets politeness and respect. piss me off and i'll do my best to piss you off right back.
i don't get approached a lot, and that's good. i want everyone to be a little afraid of me. :devil:0 -
I always feel really bad saying no. If I didn't have a boyfriend I would be in a lot of trouble, because I think it's just so sweet when a guy asks you out and is obviously very nervous..I would find it hard to turn anyone down. (not at bars where there is drinking involved.. hate that)0
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"Are you married?"
(no.)
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
(no.)
"Then what's the issue?"
I get this all the time. That or, "What is wrong with the men in your life?!"
I hate the assumption that women are desperately hoping a man wants them and if they are single it's not for lack of desire.0 -
i was standing outside a bar recently, just 30 sec or so ahead of my date, when this gomer coming up the walk catches sight of me and starts in immediately:
"Are you married?"
(no.)
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
(no.)
"Then what's the issue?"
so i told him: i am childish b!tch, a hypocrite, a liar and a thief. (depending upon whom you ask.)
i wasn't terribly peeved, a little amused, actually, but i did want to close with the same degree crassness with which he'd opened. "What's the issue?" dude, really? i guess ONE of my issues is that i don't play nice with mouthy (or drunk) jerks...
i serve back what is offered. politeness and respect begets politeness and respect. piss me off and i'll do my best to piss you off right back.
i don't get approached a lot, and that's good. i want everyone to be a little afraid of me. :devil:
Color me confused! Asking if you are married is crass?0 -
I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses?
I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:
You know what they say, girls who wear glasses never get passes! :laugh:
Funny enough there are some very pretty women who wear glasses, such as yourself! Maybe guys are too shy to hit on you? lol
Haha....thank you! I don't actually even wear glasses though :P0 -
So I would like to ask you ladies something, how do you like being approached? Is there a place, besides work, where a person shouldn’t try? As always I like to give my thoughts first.
1. I totally understand you should be able to go out and not be “hit on” or approached by some guy you don’t even know.
2. Do you turn guys down harshly or are you nice about it? Assuming that you are not interested, do guys that you think are unattractive get the same treatment as guys who you find attractive? Meaning, do you turn down the attractive guys in a nicer way?
3. Do you have a favorite/no so favorite story about how a guy tried to hit on you?
4. Do you know how hard it is to gain enough courage to talk to you? Be nice to us….lmao
As usual I am just a curious guy and I love to get different opinions. Let’s keep this conversation light hearted and fun.
I love being approached by people that are sexually attracted to me. Maybe a funeral wouldn't be the best place? I mean common sense when it comes to appropriate situations. I am never harsh to anyone who approaches me unless they smell of booze and say something extremely stupid. I like an intelligent person so I never judge the outside and base my reaction on looks alone. Being very good looking is a plus but not a requirement. I do not have a favorite/not so favorite story but I did meet my current beau online about 7 years ago. I think I understand how hard it could be to go out on a limb and put yourself out there to be shot down. Those who are cruel usually have major issues with self image and low self esteem. It should always be a compliment when a sober, well spoken person approaches you and tells you that there is something about you that makes them want to be a part of your life.0 -
If the approach is creepy, the rejection will be rude haha
If it's nice, even if I don't find the guy attractive, it's still flattering and I'll thank them & just say I have a boyfriend
Last month I was at Home Depot buying paint for my place. First, I was pleasantly surprised and happy to see that the guy working was a good looking (not really my "type" but attractive just the same) since he was the person I'd have to talk to. Even more surprised that my daughter spoke to him b/c she never talks to men she doesn't know.
Anyways, I pick out the paint, he helps me pick out all my supplies and ever so smoothly, hands me a piece of paper with his number on it saying "well if you ever need any help painting, feel free to give me a call"
hehe I was so impressed by the gesture and that my daughter was being friendly that I did in fact call him a couple days later.
We've been seeing each other since haha0 -
How I'm hit on dictates how I respond. If it's inappropriate (like saying, "I would do you, wanna try?"), I ignore.
If it's polite, conversational, etc, I say "I'm flattered, but I'm already taken. Have a nice day/evening/morning." If that is followed up by "He's not here and I am" or something rude, I ignore.0 -
I have only been approached in real life once, and it was just about a month ago. I was headed into the Y about to scan my card when a man in a wheelchair approached me and said, "Ma'am?" I turned and he said, "Ma'am, you are BEAUTIFUL. I just wanted you to know.
It caught me off guard and I immediately blushed, but I thanked him and told him he made my day.
I would never be rude to someone who went out of his/her way to make my day.
I went down to the gym that day smiling because I couldn't believe a complete stranger would compliment me like that...0 -
It's all in the approach. If you are kind and sincere you will get the same back. You can be cute and charming but if you come off cocky and a jerk keep walking!
Good luck and don't give up...she is out there somewhere!:bigsmile:0 -
I always turn down nicely... I also usually get really red-faced and cutembarassed. My favorite proposal from a jerk was when I was engaged and I was told I wasn't treated well enough because my ring doesn't have a giant diamond in it. My rings were custom made for me (we designed it together with the jeweller) and I dislike diamonds- they're too plain and nearly every girl gets one. So I told him that and that he could shove off.0
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I usually respond the way the girl at the store did, but one tip i'll give is do NOT.. i repeat.. DO NOT take "thanks I'm flattered" as " i want to leave/cheat on my boyfriend with you."
"no" is your cue to stop asking... don't keep asking for my number so we can "just be friends". That's what gets on my nerves and triggers the rudeness in me.. like.. what part of "no thank you, i have a boyfriend/husband" didn't they get?? lol0 -
I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses?
I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:
You know what they say, girls who wear glasses never get passes! :laugh:
Funny enough there are some very pretty women who wear glasses, such as yourself! Maybe guys are too shy to hit on you? lol
Haha....thank you! I don't actually even wear glasses though :P
Yeah I can tell, there's no glare on them :P I wear big ol' glasses that my fiance hates, but hey, gotta be able to see!0 -
i was standing outside a bar recently, just 30 sec or so ahead of my date, when this gomer coming up the walk catches sight of me and starts in immediately:
"Are you married?"
(no.)
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
(no.)
"Then what's the issue?"
so i told him: i am childish b!tch, a hypocrite, a liar and a thief. (depending upon whom you ask.)
i wasn't terribly peeved, a little amused, actually, but i did want to close with the same degree crassness with which he'd opened. "What's the issue?" dude, really? i guess ONE of my issues is that i don't play nice with mouthy (or drunk) jerks...
i serve back what is offered. politeness and respect begets politeness and respect. piss me off and i'll do my best to piss you off right back.
i don't get approached a lot, and that's good. i want everyone to be a little afraid of me. :devil:
Color me confused! Asking if you are married is crass?
No, she said, the crassness was asking "what's the issue," as though there were something wrong with her because she is single.0 -
I have only been approached in real life once, and it was just about a month ago. I was headed into the Y about to scan my card when a man in a wheelchair approached me and said, "Ma'am?" I turned and he said, "Ma'am, you are BEAUTIFUL. I just wanted you to know.
It caught me off guard and I immediately blushed, but I thanked him and told him he made my day.
I would never be rude to someone who went out of his/her way to make my day.
I went down to the gym that day smiling because I couldn't believe a complete stranger would compliment me like that...
Awww that's super sweet
To the OP:
1. Keep being brave and friendly
2. I just realized we're from the same area of Michigan! Small world0 -
Oh dear god...
Okay, I know I'm a freak but I hate being approached in public....it kicks in every last shy gene in my body and I get shell shocked. So that being said there are times when I'm more receptive and that would be when I'm expecting it...bars, concerts, or just feeling good about myself....I generally don't take them serious, because I don't know how a total stranger could want to spend time with a total stranger....so a quick thank you, giggle and off I go....I honeslty prefer to get to know someone before I get stuck with them on a date. but that is me!0 -
I am never rude to men who hit on me, unless they say something crude like "nice tits" in which case I say "My husband likes them too."
I think it takes guts to approach someone. Good for you for asking! At least now you don't have to try to connect with her on missed connections lol0 -
Don't hit on me when I'm with my children. Don't assume that all black mothers are single mothers. I'll always be friendly whether I think you're attractive or not, but don't push it. One "no thank you" should be enough!0
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2. Unless someone has been disrespectful to me in his approach, I'm always nice when I turn-down.
3. No special stories. I'm mostly horrified by the immediate assumption that I would want to sleep with the person hitting on me. Being told things like how he'd do me or show me a good time. This is someone I wouldn't even want to have a water-cooler conversation with, and he's already made it to the bedroom with me. Keep it movin'.0 -
I am never rude to men who hit on me, unless they say something crude like "nice tits" in which case I say "My husband likes them too."
I think it takes guts to approach someone. Good for you for asking! At least now you don't have to try to connect with her on missed connections lol
I love missed connections0
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