The thing to do ladies.

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  • babyseal_24
    babyseal_24 Posts: 26 Member
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    I always turn down nicely... I also usually get really red-faced and cutembarassed. My favorite proposal from a jerk was when I was engaged and I was told I wasn't treated well enough because my ring doesn't have a giant diamond in it. My rings were custom made for me (we designed it together with the jeweller) and I dislike diamonds- they're too plain and nearly every girl gets one. So I told him that and that he could shove off.
  • thecanface
    thecanface Posts: 1,180 Member
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    I usually respond the way the girl at the store did, but one tip i'll give is do NOT.. i repeat.. DO NOT take "thanks I'm flattered" as " i want to leave/cheat on my boyfriend with you."

    "no" is your cue to stop asking... don't keep asking for my number so we can "just be friends". That's what gets on my nerves and triggers the rudeness in me.. like.. what part of "no thank you, i have a boyfriend/husband" didn't they get?? lol
  • DalekBrittany
    DalekBrittany Posts: 1,748 Member
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    I haven't been hit on in a really, really long time.....maybe it's the glasses? :tongue:

    I was once serenaded at a convenience store though. A guy came up behind me and said, "DAAAAMMMMNNN!" as he looked me up and down. He then proceeded to sing me some made up song about how he would be my sugar daddy and buy me a house and a car. I was so embarrassed.....I wouldn't suggest going that route! :laugh:

    You know what they say, girls who wear glasses never get passes! :laugh:

    Funny enough there are some very pretty women who wear glasses, such as yourself! Maybe guys are too shy to hit on you? lol

    Haha....thank you! I don't actually even wear glasses though :P

    Yeah I can tell, there's no glare on them :P I wear big ol' glasses that my fiance hates, but hey, gotta be able to see!
  • 1ConcreteGirl
    1ConcreteGirl Posts: 3,677 Member
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    i was standing outside a bar recently, just 30 sec or so ahead of my date, when this gomer coming up the walk catches sight of me and starts in immediately:

    "Are you married?"
    (no.)
    "Do you have a boyfriend?"
    (no.)
    "Then what's the issue?"

    so i told him: i am childish b!tch, a hypocrite, a liar and a thief. (depending upon whom you ask.)

    i wasn't terribly peeved, a little amused, actually, but i did want to close with the same degree crassness with which he'd opened. "What's the issue?" dude, really? i guess ONE of my issues is that i don't play nice with mouthy (or drunk) jerks...

    i serve back what is offered. politeness and respect begets politeness and respect. piss me off and i'll do my best to piss you off right back.

    i don't get approached a lot, and that's good. i want everyone to be a little afraid of me. :devil:

    Color me confused! Asking if you are married is crass?

    No, she said, the crassness was asking "what's the issue," as though there were something wrong with her because she is single.
  • BeinAwesome247
    BeinAwesome247 Posts: 257 Member
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    I have only been approached in real life once, and it was just about a month ago. I was headed into the Y about to scan my card when a man in a wheelchair approached me and said, "Ma'am?" I turned and he said, "Ma'am, you are BEAUTIFUL. I just wanted you to know.

    It caught me off guard and I immediately blushed, but I thanked him and told him he made my day.

    I would never be rude to someone who went out of his/her way to make my day.

    I went down to the gym that day smiling because I couldn't believe a complete stranger would compliment me like that...

    Awww that's super sweet

    To the OP:
    1. Keep being brave and friendly
    2. I just realized we're from the same area of Michigan! Small world
  • Juliejustsaying
    Juliejustsaying Posts: 2,332 Member
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    Oh dear god...

    Okay, I know I'm a freak but I hate being approached in public....it kicks in every last shy gene in my body and I get shell shocked. So that being said there are times when I'm more receptive and that would be when I'm expecting it...bars, concerts, or just feeling good about myself....I generally don't take them serious, because I don't know how a total stranger could want to spend time with a total stranger....so a quick thank you, giggle and off I go....I honeslty prefer to get to know someone before I get stuck with them on a date. but that is me!
  • Cre8veLifeR
    Cre8veLifeR Posts: 1,062 Member
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    I am never rude to men who hit on me, unless they say something crude like "nice tits" in which case I say "My husband likes them too."

    I think it takes guts to approach someone. Good for you for asking! At least now you don't have to try to connect with her on missed connections lol
  • Tia_N_Mac
    Tia_N_Mac Posts: 181 Member
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    Don't hit on me when I'm with my children. Don't assume that all black mothers are single mothers. I'll always be friendly whether I think you're attractive or not, but don't push it. One "no thank you" should be enough!
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    2. Unless someone has been disrespectful to me in his approach, I'm always nice when I turn-down.

    3. No special stories. I'm mostly horrified by the immediate assumption that I would want to sleep with the person hitting on me. Being told things like how he'd do me or show me a good time. This is someone I wouldn't even want to have a water-cooler conversation with, and he's already made it to the bedroom with me. Keep it movin'.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
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    I am never rude to men who hit on me, unless they say something crude like "nice tits" in which case I say "My husband likes them too."

    I think it takes guts to approach someone. Good for you for asking! At least now you don't have to try to connect with her on missed connections lol

    I love missed connections
  • maiaroman18
    maiaroman18 Posts: 460 Member
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    Do not hit on me while I'm holding my daughter's hand. It's one thing if she's a few feet away from me at a store, but it's highly inappropriate when she can hear every word coming out of your mouth.

    I operate under the "treat others how you like to be treated" rule. So if a guy is creepy or inappropriate, I will shoot him down, flat out. Otherwise, if I'm not interested, I will politely decline.

    And looks aren't my #1 priority when it comes to guys (yes it's important), but if an average looking guy can make me laugh or is sporting a vintage nintendo t-shirt, that's more appealing to me than some pretty boy who dresses better than me.

    I wear glasses, and I get hit on a lot. Actually, I think I've gotten hit on more since I started wearing glasses, come to think of it.
  • silky_kitten
    silky_kitten Posts: 171 Member
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    The only time I don't like it is when they persist and I tell them I'm gay which in turn makes them tell me I just haven't met the right guy. Other than that it's a good confidence booster because you know the guy went out of his way to say hi.

    Right! Most guys don't seem to understand the concept of a girl being gay. They get all flustered and make excuses for me. I don't need excuses, I know why I'm bi. (It's for the doubled date options!)
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    OP, your way seemed the way to go. Nice, not pushy or disrespectful. You had no idea she had a boyfriend and like you said, all you could do was try. You never would have known otherwise.

    To answer your question, the only place I don't want to be hit on is the gym.
  • Skinny_minny_mo
    Skinny_minny_mo Posts: 1,272 Member
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    agree with most of the others on here, i try to be polite - but if you seem creepy or too persistent i move away or ignore.

    i think guys dont come up to us girls often enough! well not in my city at least :frown:

    natural is best! smile, be friendly - and i think the best places are the unexpected ones. in a queue, at the supermarket etc. :smile:
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
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    Anywhere but the gym is fine - you will get a polite/kind response as long as you are polite and kind yourself, AND you take no for an answer...this is where it often goes wrong. Honestly I'm surprised you accepted her saying she had a boyfriend - generally that evokes responses such as "thats not a problem/are you happy with him/i can treat you better/so?/ and on and on ad nauseum. This is what has made me be ruder/unresponsive to being hit on over the years - 9 times out of 10 they will not accept your NO response no matter what reason you give, giving me the impression than men think you should be thankful they are hitting on you and if they want you you HAVE to want them. But we have brains too and can make our own decisions - as long as you keep these thoughts in mind, and just approach us with conversation and not pick up lines, you'll do just fine.

    OH and approaching a woman with "you're so pretty why are you single" is moronic, DO NOT DO THIS.
  • MissFitee
    MissFitee Posts: 106 Member
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    I think I can be a little harsh sometimes. Usually it isn't about the person(unless they're really creepy). It's more that I'm startled when random people talk to me. Especially if they start giving me compliments, I usually think they're pulling my leg.

    I do still take being hit on(in a non-creepy way) as a compliment.

    A creepy way would be like the one guy that I keep bumping into(and who keeps hitting on me even though I have a bf). One of our conversations went something like this:
    "So you have a bf? I didn't know..."
    "Yes, we live together"
    "Ok... Can't you have two?"
    ...
  • SarahBeth0625
    SarahBeth0625 Posts: 685 Member
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    OMG... :lol: I totally forgot about this. Last summer, I was walking with my 3 children -- 2 in the stroller and my oldest alongside. A guy outside of an apartment building struts over and starts hitting on me... I couldn't help but notice he had an ankle bracelent (as in, jail monitoring bracelet) on. His line was, "you know, you don't need to workout. Does your husband think you're fat? Because you're not."

    I was still nice to him and a little creeped out because he was WAY too forward and went on and asked if I was on Facebook. I didn't give my name, but my oldest shouted it out and I was scared for awhile that I'd have a stalker, but I changed my walking route and never heard anything after.

    But yeah, good times.
  • AIZZO4
    AIZZO4 Posts: 404 Member
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    So I see the gym is not the place to get hit on. I can respect that. Sometimes I feel like I should just keep my head down in the gym....lol
  • Cindy873
    Cindy873 Posts: 1,165
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    What is this "hit on" of which you speak?
  • WillH1414
    WillH1414 Posts: 58
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    I wish it was tthe other way around more often. and the women approaches the guy. That rarely EVER happens with me.

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