Sabotage and flatulence

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Replies

  • capnrus789
    capnrus789 Posts: 2,736 Member
    French onion soup at Panera. If you skip the cheese, it's a relatively healthy lunch choice. Then watch out, it's brutal.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    If you don't like the people you work with, plant one employee's underwear in another employee's desk and start a malicious rumor. Allow it to escalate and make sure everyone is forced to take sides.

    After a week or so, cut an apple in half and hide it in the ceiling above the desk with the stolen undergarments. Within a day, there will be so many fruit flies, maintenance will be forced to search the surrounding area, including the desk, finding the underwear.

    After a series of escalating firings, you should be promoted to a place where you have a say in who is hired. I vote for beautiful young Bosnians.

    Hmmm . . . this is interesting . . . do you have any suggestions on how to obtain this underwear? We don't have a work locker room or anything of that nature so it might be a bit difficult.

    HEY, no room here for whiners! I you're going to commit to this revenge plan you're going to have to go all the way. And I mean ALL the way. You want this revenge or not?

    Wow. Thank you. I never looked at it like that before. I have a girlfriend but you're right. She needs to be made to understand that this is for an important cause I'll bring it up over dinner tonight.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    Eat lots of asparagus and drink tons of coffee. Make sure not to flush so the rest room smells too. Or pee in the sink, make sure the stopper is doing it's job. Or pee in the kitchen sink.

    I already have been peeing in the kitchen sink but everyone has been. We're having some remodeling done at the office and the toilets are out of order.

    Thanks for the asparagus tip. :flowerforyou:
  • msaestein1
    msaestein1 Posts: 264 Member
    I hated the guy next to me at my old job so I would eat Middle Eastern and Indian food at my desk all of the time. Lots of garlic and curry, etc. Very tasty for me, but very annoying for him. :)
  • Cliffslosinit
    Cliffslosinit Posts: 5,044 Member
    h177193ca.gif

    yuck.gif
  • TedStout
    TedStout Posts: 241
    Fiber One bars....INTENSE
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    Pickled eggs and San Miguel dark beer.

    Trust me on this.
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,438 Member
    huevos rancheros with extra spicy chili washed down with beer.

    any of the Nature's Plus fruitein mixes.......although you need to be careful, can lead to explosions that produce more than just stinky air.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
    asparagus, cabbage, fish, lots of indian and middle eastern spices, fried foods, garlic, remember to reheat fish in the same room. For added benefit you might want to consider playing bollywood music at your desk or recordings of Mongolian throat callers.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    I used to eat smoked oysters in the office and hide the empty tin in a trash can near a person that annoyed me.

    Had them sniffing around and digging through trash cans in the afternoon.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    Brussel Sprouts - like a Belgian freight train through your lower intestines.
  • Cr01502
    Cr01502 Posts: 3,614 Member
    I used to eat smoked oysters in the office and hide the empty tin in a trash can near a person that annoyed me.

    Had them sniffing around and digging through trash cans in the afternoon.

    Haha.

    This is awesome. I might have to incorporate this into my routine.
  • ScottyNoHotty
    ScottyNoHotty Posts: 1,957 Member
    Schlitz beer and pickled eggs....go to the dirtiest bar you can find tonight...
  • mlcantwell
    mlcantwell Posts: 243 Member
    Down some antibiotics, also remove all "natural" yogurt, and cheese from your diet.

    The antibiotics will kill some of the good flora in your GI tract that help you break down food. Then consume beans, broccoli, apples, eggs. Your food will be harder to digest, start to decompose and sulfur will be produced. Also eat with your mouth open and quickly to swallow more air and increase the gas passing.
  • doorki
    doorki Posts: 2,576 Member
    gif.gif

    Also, some really hoppy beers. Like IPA's and the like. They give you the good and hot SBDs.
  • Zalovar
    Zalovar Posts: 92 Member
    Cabbage!

    Also, this article might help:

    http://www.livestrong.com/article/324448-foods-that-produce-flatulence/

    Good luck
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
    This thread is awesome.

    Wear some thinner material pants and go commando. Press against a wall or chair when you have to go to make it vibrate and give some great acoustics.

    Just be careful not to gamble and lose. I don't think you want to sabotage yourself in your great journey.
  • Cassierocksalot
    Cassierocksalot Posts: 266 Member
    I second the Fiber One Bars. I enjoy everyone in my surrounding cubicle areas so I make it a point to only eat these at home...right before bed. My husband LOVES it :devil:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    Kashi Go lean Crunch cereal. You will become a motorboat.
  • iAMsmiling
    iAMsmiling Posts: 2,394 Member
    This thread is awesome.

    Wear some thinner material pants and go commando. Press against a wall or chair when you have to go to make it vibrate and give some great acoustics.

    Just be careful not to gamble and lose. I don't think you want to sabotage yourself in your great journey.

    Good thought. All of these suggestions must assume a working lump detector.

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